Sunday, August 31, 2008


Lets do some Penguins news.


Yea still nothing.

But it never hurts to make fun of Tampa Bay.

Looks like even the NHL is confused by all the ex-Pens on their roster.

Thanks to [J.Boyle].


Team Pensblog: EASHL Update

Because we don't want to clutter what is going to become a very busy blog, we have set up a new blog for our EASHL teams.

It is nothing special, but it should help move things along.

[Team Pensblog]


Go Pens

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Jerseyblog Payment Info

updated 09/19/08



Sesenta y Seis

This is a filler post that probably 9 people will read.

But in case you haven't heard, Chad Johnson, receiver for the Bengals,
has his name legally changed to Chad Ocho Cinco.

In this era where Terrell Owens commands the spotlight,
Chad Johnson has gotten his share.

You would half-expect us to annihilate him for doing this.
But for some reason, we love it and don't hate him for it.

Can't wait for him to get traded to a team where the #85 is retired.

Friday, August 29, 2008


Back in June, there was talk about the possibility of an official Pensblog jersey. It took a bit of work, but we finally found a quality vendor who didn't want to bang your mom as a deposit to get these things made. So what do these jerseys look like you ask? Well...

This is the patch design (full embroidery)

And here is an example of a finished jersey

Jersey Specs
- Jersey price is $140. This price includes nameplate, number and shipping charges. Jerseys are pro quality and custom built to order.

- Fabric is game weight double knit high stretch 100% polyester with vintage tie neck

- Full-embroidered 11" logo patch

- 2-color sewn on numbers on sleeves and back

- Custom nameplate sewn to back(add $5 a letter for anything over 12 letters)

- Fight strap is optional($10)

- Youth and Adult sizes available - up to 2XL

- #66 is the only number unavailable... unless you get " BURIES IT" as the nameplate

There are only 26 jerseys available. 26 is based on a 30-jersey minimum order... 4 are already spoken for. If you are really interested in a jersey, please send us an email or leave a comment in this post's cblog between now and next Friday so we can gauge interest. If the demand is high enough, we may bump the total number of jerseys available to 50 which would provide an additional savings of around $15. Either way, this is the only time this jersey will be available.

A $50 deposit gets you on the list for one of the available jerseys. Once all jerseys are spoken for, we will make an announcement and you will need to send in the remaining balance so we can place our order. It should take 4-6 weeks for the jerseys to be made and shipped out. 

Thursday, August 28, 2008

We were going to make a decent post, but then EA Sports released a demo for NHL 2009.

We will have all the details on both XBOX 360 and PS3 teams this weekend.

To make a long story short we got nothing.

But we have been meaning to ask for awhile.

Does anyone remember Pro Beach Hockey? It was on ESPN2 all time during summer, almost always after school.

We could not find any videos, but we found a cool site with a bunch of pics.
[Pro Beach Hockey pics]

That ramp was sick.

So was the three point goal.

The Maple Leafs actually tried to make that a rule at their home games like last year or something.


Go Pens

Team Pensblog: EASHL

We are stealing this idea from [LGP], only for PS3.

For those not familar with the details, you can have created players on an online team.

This video should help explain a lot.

It is going to be a great option.

Basically we are going to need someone who would like to take charge and organize the team and shit.
We'd do it ourselves but we actually want this to work.

So send us an email, or discuss in c-blog and let us know.

The game comes out for all systems on Sept 11.

We will look into also creating an Xbox team, but for right now PS3 is the goal.

Go Pens

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

sllab ruo kcus

How do you know we mean business?
We bought the only hockey-preview magazine on the shelves at Walden Books at SHV:

It's a fantasy-hockey magazine, but it could have been a magazine detailing players' bowel movements for all we cared.
We went in there hell-bent on buying something.
By the way, Pascal Dupuis will take 24 dumps on gamedays this season.

Projected Stats:

Crosby -- 41G, 72A, 113P
Malkin -- 46G, 54A, 100P
Gonchar -- 12G, 56A, 68P
Satan -- 25G, 41A, 66P -- 66 points, derrr
Sykora -- 25G, 38A, 63P

MAF -- 43-17-7, 2.35 GAA, .918 SV%



:: [ PSAMP ] came through with Bob Smizik: Behind The Music.
Solid read. He was genuinely interested in giving responses to the questions he was asked.

:: Back during the homestretch of the playoffs last season,
[ Atom Bomb Bikini ] came out of nowhere with these illustrated pin-up girls that made you think:

He comes now with an interesting proposition:
If you're interested in having a woman in your life featured in one his drawings?
He's willing to trade an illustration for tickets to three choice games this upcoming season.

[ E-mail him ] if your interest has been piqued.


We're later than Isaac Hayes on this, but the [ City Paper ] had something to say about Lemieux's arena tactics.
The writer mentions how Lemieux used a series of ploys that is known in mob circles as extortion.
His main beef is taxpayers getting jobbed.

We have no problem with that argument towards the new arena deal, as in, we just don't care.
But it was worth noting.


While we've taken the summer off big-time,
[ The Confluence of the Three Rivers ] has stayed the course.

He's been on fire as of late, from Q&A's with Joe Sager to actually knowing when training camp starts.

Veterans report on September 16th.

The race is on to have sex before then.
If you aren't able to achieve that goal, there's always Atom Bomb Bikini.

do it

Staying with the MVN Network of Blogs, [ Geeves ] tossed us this softball.
Some dude running a Minnesota Wild blog is ranking NHL fanbases:



Average-attendance rank doesn't factor in seating capacity. Thumbs down.
And he almost mentioned the Pens selling out every home game last season.

Observation of fan activity?
He had to have seen the droves of fans standing outside Mellon Arena watching on an outdoor screen during the playoff run.

Hold on. We're talking about confusing concepts for a Minnesota fan, such as a "playoff run."


And the online fan activity thing? What a slam.
He said he did his research. Maybe he used Lycos Search.

A quick Google search will find our site here, as well as
Not to mention the plethora of unreal Penguin blogs out there and the aforementioned Confluence blog, which is on the same Blog Network as this Wild joke.

If you check out the comments on that link we provided,
he was getting cowned (comment-owned) in the post's comments.

However, as Wilsmith mentioned in yesterday's comments,
maybe it's not the best thing to always dominate someone's comments when they job the Pens.

Then again, we aren't governing what anybody does.


Reader [ Jared E. ] came through with this piece from
[ America's Worst Cities To Be A Sports Fan ]

Pittsburgh comes in at #10.

So, it more so has to do with financial situations than the woes of the city's franchises.
Well, it is


The Pens are up again over at [ Icethetics ].
Opponent: HP Pavilion.

senp og

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Mario Lem-used us

Without Mario Lemieux, we would be without a blog to run.
We'd probably be in jail for something.

Mario Lemieux's arrival in Pittsburgh changed the city's sports landscape forever.
Youth hockey programs began popping up out of thin air.
Ryan Malone and RJ Umberger would be working at a car wash if it wasn't for Mario Lemieux.

Battling through life-threatening cancer and nightly back ailments,
Mario Lemieux was helping the city and the team..before he even owned it.

He got jobbed out of some cash due to Howard Baldwin being a joke.
A contract is a contract. There's no way around it.

Just as anyone person would do if they got jobbed out of cash,
Lemieux found a way to get it back.

10 years ago, this franchise was on life support.
Lemieux swooped in and saved the day again.

Was Lemieux's return in 2000-2001 a way to infuse money into his investment?
There's no doubt about it.
But if you think that was his primary reason for his return, there's no doubt you're a douchebag.

Back in the bankruptcy crap, politicans gave Lemieux their word that a new arena would be built for his hockey team.
They could have just as well taken a dump on his face.

The public, his career-long admirers, watched in awe as he got jobbed out of that promise.
It had to be humiliating for Buries It.

Fast-forward a couple years of Lemieux playing in the twilight of his career on Penguin teams that were touching themselves in the basement.

By 2005, 66 had had enough. He was openly shopping the team around.
But the Pens landing Sidney Crosby changed everything.
Lemieux saw what was in front of him and took the team off the market.
He was still playing, too. But Father Time eventually caught up with him.

But not before this:

The following season, Jim Balsillie brought his Jobber Train through the Pens franchise.
Lemieux bit, but only for a moment.

Through all this, Lemieux got in bed with Isle of Capri casino.
The slots license was to be awarded on December 20, 2006.
IOC arguably was the best bet for the city of Pittsburgh.
IOC had a great track record, as they had turned the neighbordhood around Columbus' Nationwide Arena into a utopia.

And, yet again, the city decided to job Lemieux.
And we know how well that slots-license stuff has panned out.

In early 2007, the franchise's future was up in the air.
People were vomiting on each other.
All of this while the Pens were amidst a crazy 16-game points streak or some shit.

-- March 4, 2007 --

After wheeling and dealing and taking ghost trips to Kansas City and Vegas,
Pittsburgh and the state of Pennsylvania got their affairs in order.
A new arena deal was announced on March 13, 2007.

Public humiliation after public humiliation, Lemieux never turned his back on the fans.
Many happenings in business just have to remain behind close doors and in closed mouths.

But his off-the-cuff comments on the dealings made you feel like he was being honest,
much to the chagrin of parties on the other side of the ledger.

Lemieux is a businessman now.
He and his financial partners are putting a world-class team on the ice.
"It's here. After all my hard work. Come and get it."

And we, as fans, have done so.
There's some ridiculous consecutive-sellout streak going on right now.

When Lemieux broke ground on the arena recently, you just had to smile.
Lemieux isn't your friend. You don't have his cellphone number.
But he's a beast, and he's done everything for the city that is within his limits.
And he wasn't even born here.

Basically, anyone saying they're offended that Lemieux used the fans as a bargaining chip is an idiot.
They are the kind of people who will say something just to get in a newspaper.

We're glad that Lemieux used us.
He could walk into the room right now and touch my girlfriend's boobs.

Go Pens

Good Way To Kill Time

It is still August, and the good old post well is drier than your..[insert graphic joke about your grandma's vajay vajay here.]

Thankfully good friend [CoffeyTalk] found a really cool thing at RBK.

You can design your own shoe at Reebook.
[Go Here]

Here are some of the designs she came up with:

Those are both nasty.
Who wouldn't wear those?

Thanks to [Julia] in CBLOG they have just white ones too:

Follow the directions on the site and you can make any team you want.
You can have a lot of fun with it.

Go Pens

Monday, August 25, 2008

Thanks again to everyone who took part in this.
The names of the people who made the photoshops are under the pictures.

All we are doing is hosting them.
If we missed any, we are sorry.



[Daniel L.]


[Dave from Carolina On Ice]


[Annie S.]


[Charles P.]


[J Schiff]


[Brian Y.]




[Hockey Fan]


[Zach Y]


[Chris A.]
Not photoshopped, but still funny.
[Claire G]
[Matt O]

[Tommy C]


[Matt M]




[Matt K]


[Chris from Hub Hockey]


[Elliot ]


[Nate B]


[Dave C.]


[Ryan M]












[Thaddeus K]


[Ben C]


[Scotty T.]


[Matt S]




[Michelle M]






[Josh K]


[Matt M]




[Chris P]



[Jimmy O]
[Bill R]
[Nicholas V]
Who would of thought two people would make this one.
[Nicholas S]
[Randy R.]
[Loyd J.]
[Matt N]
[Dan D.]
[Jeff S]
[Mike D]

[Jason M]


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