Sunday, November 30, 2008

We don't know about you, but when we were young, we played with G.I. Joes, watched Gumby, and shot some hockey in our basements. The only trouble we tried to get into was tricking other kids into overdosing on Flintstone kids vitamins. And you know what, little Johnny recovered so F off.

We all "pretended," we were sports stars when we were kids. And some of those imaginary moments were probably really stupid.

But we like to think those moments weren't as bizarre as the following YOUTUBE.
Some kid pretends to get drafted by the Maple Leafs, then holds an impromptu press conference in his kitchen that concludes with a stirring rendition of Ooooooo Canada.




Jesus.

Thanks to [Phil G] for the find.

91 comments:

how 'bout dat 'burgh n'at? said...

WOW! FIrst!

What a kid...

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

The Leafs have a bright future. He reminds me of homestarrunner.

osheak234 said...

Poor kid, getting drafted first round to a team that isnt a contender.

Alex Thomas said...

Fuck the leafs

btumpak said...

leafs are about as good as plaxico is at handling guns.

go pens.

Johnny Wrath said...

"What is will be no more and what once was will be again"- Viggo from Ghostbusters II, referencing the inevitable onslaught coming the Sens' way via Toronto. That, valued reader, is the only redeemable quality in the Leafs making good moves.

Stempniak is a great young player, so expect him to be dangled as bait for a more recognizable name. Got to love T.O.

anthony black said...

leafs might actually take the kid this year.

Rage said...

Boys, I thought we were about to start raggin retahded kids again, and while I'm down for a bit of that, this time not the case. What we have here, beyond being a Laffs fan, is aq clear warning of the dangers of growing up with the intergore.

Admit it staff, the only difference between you and this kid....or hell ANY of us and this kid is this:

We only have friend's and our own embarrassing memories of our fandom/retardedness when we were kids.....now they have a means of permanently perpetual self-humiliation. One of this kid's acquaintances will get this yootoob and humiliate him for the rest of his natural life.

Lucky for us there was no intertubez? I think so....

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Fuck Brian Burke/ GO PENS

coffeytalk said...

Clemmensen with the gentlemen's comment about Crosby after the game:

"Obviously this whole league is full of talented players, and then there's the elite players who are even more talented," Devils goalie Scott Clemmensen said. "And when those guys are the hardest-working players on the ice, then that is scary good. Just scary good."

btumpak said...

Lundvquist just got pulled... fuck the rangers.


go pens.

vodkaburner69 said...

Ugliest Kid I've ever seen...he reminds me of a kid from the 80's "horror" flick Gremlins. This is what happens when parents leave out the cookie jar, their kid gets fat, his teeth start rotting, and he sings the canadian national anthem.

The Big K said...

Guys, we can make fun of him here and that's all swell and good.

But he's obviously got some kind of mental issue, so don't make fun of him too bad on the video.

Docciavelli said...

@ Big K

I don't know that kids with serious mental issues know how to post YouTube vids. Something tells me his parents have serious mental issues and thought this would be cute to immortalize on the Gore.

If he ever does wind up getting drafted and plays against the Pens, the scoreboard operators in the new arena need to play this in the pre-game.

Eric P. said...

O Canada gave me chills.

"starting on Dce,25/08 I will start adaily talk show adout the Toronto maple leafs"

^ Money.

stokes said...

Just because you made a video of yourself doesn't mean you should post it for the entire universe to see...

Rage hit the nail on the head. I even hate home video's of myself.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

Reason # 4,723 why we should be glad to have Sid.

"I live a pretty simple life; I want to play somewhere people are interested in the sport and for an organization that cares," Crosby said. "I've got a lot of that in Pittsburgh. I feel pretty fortunate to be there. It's not the biggest city, but it's a city I really like."

Pretty refreshing to hear an opponent give praise instead of bellyaching after playing us, coffeytalk.

wilsmith said...

Odds are that I will burn for this... but what the hell.


Heyyy youuu guyyyys!

Todd said...

Too many ROFL's here, need syrup.

Toronto drafting at it's finest?

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

Stokes, I hear u on that. When I was younger, I was over a friends house and we were looking through his baseball cards and unbeknownst to me, his father got a video camera that he was trying out and secretly filming us with. I stumbled across one card and asked "Tippy Martinez...who's he?" Upon watching the video, I came off sounding pretty gay, and his whole family was laughing at it.

demondg1 said...

Wow. That kid needs his own shirt in storeBlog.

And I bet you guys get an e-mail tomorrow morning from someone who knows him saying he's retarded or something.

Sean said...

So i just got off the phone with Jim Jimmerson. turns out Shero asked him to clean out his locker...

Russ Tundra said...

It's sad.. we are all going to burn in hell.

But, retarded kids shouldn't put their videos up on YouTube. They should play Jenga or something.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Who let him put this on youtube? Parental supervision fail ... I guess, they were too busy trying to adopt Luke Schenn ...

I like the Leafs and they are getting better but let's not get carried away ...

@Jonny v: At least it's not like agreeing to make homemade zombie movies ... that's some awful shit I never want to see again ...

stokes said...

Who's Jim Jimmerson?


in other news, Peso is back down to the farm.

Russ Tundra said...

If this kid is the next best thing in next years draft.

I wouldn't be surprised if Dallas picks up Corky Thatcher in the second round.

Chris Burke aka Corky Thatcher

Should be a great replacements for Avery or Morrow.

Russ Tundra said...

See you in Hell Gretzky.

jbart321 said...

I am speechless. That kid has to be mentally retarded. Braces be in the future for that kid. I have never seen someone with teeth like that. Go Pens!

J.S. said...

Jim Jimmerson? Thanks for playing chief, your parting gifts are waiting at the door.

If the Leaves draft this kid in the first, that poor organ-i-zation will be set back further than the Pens were in the mid to late 90s.

Go Steelers.

[TomBrady may seem like a quarterback, but in private life, he only recieves]

meecrofilm said...

Youtube definitely killed the (craptastic) magic of the home video. Now every douchebag with a camera puts him and herself on the internet and then thinks that other people actually give a shit.

@stokes
To be expected. Peso still isn't ready. My money is on Taffe to be the next call up.

J.S. said...

awesomeness, Ed Hochuli is calling the game.

J.S. said...

INTERCEPTIONBERGER!!!

fleuryous said...

Clemmensen, that was very decent of him.

Would Uncle Daddy have said that?
Eh, who knows.


Thanks for that, Annie.


In other news, Ben already threw an interception. wowowow.

fleuryous said...

Ooooooooooh, Ben.

Docciavelli said...

Ben Roethlisberger caught singing O Canada in his head.

fleuryous said...

Yikes, I just saw the score of the Rangers/Panthers game.

Ouch.

J.S. said...

thanks Jschiff for this.

I have a feeling it won't be the last time it will be seen today.

fleuryous said...

Steelers are looking a bit like pooblah.

Pick it up, boys.

J.S. said...

Gamedaychatblog

do it

Ice said...

He obviously isn't retarded. Look at the other videos he has uploaded.

sven butenschon said...

This just in
Sundin will only resign with the leafs if he gets to play on this kids wing

In other news holla to everyone that came up to me @ the game and gave me props for the buries it pens blog jersey
you guys rock

Rage said...

Kid has a sweet throwback jersey though, and if that ain't 6 grand worth of mouthwork, I'd be amazed

J.S. said...

the only way I could hate this announce crew even more is if they let Shannon Sharpe into the booth and eventually allowed him to call the game by himself.

Gumbel brings nothing...ok, not much to the table, and listening to Dierdorf for more than two seconds is like nails on a chalkboard.

fleuryous said...

Troy Polamalu is one of the main reasons the Steelers are so good. Well, the D-line in general, but he's...unbelievable.

It's because he's God-loving folk.

M. Vanderlasser said...

I wonder if A. Semin caught the Pens' game last night?

fleuryous said...

Holy Moly, Mewelde is showing up the Patriots Defense.

And he's our third back.


Goddamn.


In response to the Semen question (yeah, I know it's Semin, but I don't care), I hope he did. 5 goals in two games...so easy a caveman can do it. Riiiiiiiiight.

Eat it, Semin.

dd7 said...

just saw this on empty netters

Don Cherry is a dick

fleuryous said...

Go look at the Red Wings website.


Zetterberg makes it look like a L'Oreal commercial.

"Because I'm worth it."

meecrofilm said...

Everybody already knows Don Cherry is a gay pimp.

fleuryous said...

An unattractive gay pimp.

Rage said...

@dd7- I saw that on HNIC Saturday night, but then I remembered folks on here mentioning him apologizing after the hattie, so I blew him off...wait...not literally.

@ Meecro- if you saw the program you would know that Grapes is gay for Brendan Witt from the Isles

Allison said...

Oh
My
God

I just turned on the computer to watch the video. So worth waiting for this piece of shit to warm up.

What
The
Fuck

I'm so astounded at the utter bizzareness of that clip, there are no words.
I'm so confused as to what language was being spoken cause I could hear some english,but the rest, oh boy.

And I will never look at a flashlight the same way again.

donniek87 said...

I'm not sure i understood anything he said

fleuryous said...

Interesting...

dying alive said...

So is the NFL actively trying to make the league into a bunch of sissyfied ninnies or what? Or is there some kind of contest among the refs as to who can throw the most unsportsmanlike conduct penalties?

fleuryous said...

Ike Taylor needs to shut his mouth sometimes, though. Man oh man.


Our Defense is VICIOUS.

meecrofilm said...

I always enjoy a good pooping on Boston, whether it's figuratively through our sports teams, or me actually pooping on the street when I'm there.

fleuryous said...

Best game the Steelers have played all season.


Unreal, seriously.

Jim Paek said...

HAHAHAHA

God bless that kid.

Allison said...

And staff- I think there's a problem with [Flash: 4ballsac]. =)Nothing's showing up on my computer screen.

Hip said...

Johnny Wrath - I watched Stempniak play college puck up close for two straight years and the kid can definitely hang with the big boys. It will be interesting to see if Burke tries to package him up.

This kid is definitely on the developmental spectrum of disorders. Probably smart as fuck actually. But nonetheless, socially inept.

Thanks for the quotes by Sid and about him. That's why we love him - humble, hardworking and phenomenal. Proof that you don't have to be a complete and utter asshole to be loved by the millions.

FireFox said...

I got 43 seconds into that video and turned it off. I felt unconfortable just watching it.

bayonetwork said...

firefox, i had to stop when he started talking. i had the same feeling.

Rico Fatty said...

That kid's top and bottom lips never meet. He's probably autistic or something. But one thing's for sure, he's one hell of a singer.

Long Island Pens Fan said...

God Fucking help us!!! I actually looked at this kids profile on YouTube and he is planning on launching a Maple Leafs daily talk show on his YouTube account. The world is about to end when this kid launches this 'show'!

btumpak said...

seriously is that kid wearing Billy Bob Teeth?

stokes said...

Meecrofilm(hours later):

I would think that Minard would be the next call up. He's playing balls out, leading the team in scoring. I was surprised that Minard wasn't the call up this time around. In all honesty, its tough to get a feel for Peso when he's only playing 6 minutes a game.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

They can call up whomever, it's just really nice that they have a few good players to choose from each time.

BnG, I told the boys to take it easy this weekend, I didn't want you to feel the full brunt of Hurricane Ditka until the playoffs. Glad to hear u made it back from the Browns game in one piece, buddy.

meecrofilm said...

Yes, but I'd figure that since Minard was up before, and Peso as well, that Taffe would get his shot too. After all, he has displayed the most NHL competency of all 3, and his AHL hasn't been slacking either.

I would personally like to see Minard get a little bit more time though. Like you said, the call-ups usually don't get enough time to prove their worth (or lackthereof). But the M Train is playing even better than last year, and, should the oppurtunity arise, I wouldn't mind seeing him in the Top-6 for more than one game (playing more than 10 minutes) to see if he can bury any set-ups.

After all, if ThePensblog were TheBabyPensblog, they'd be selling #14 "Buries It" jerseys.

fleuryous said...

I'm still laughing at the Dirty Dancing photoshop/title.

Staff, I still love you.

mallori said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SteelPensBucs said...

I remember his stellar work with the Whalers, so Brian Burke will screw up somehow.

What a game by the defense. I hate being stuck in New England, but this game will make the week much more tolerable. That's the second time this season the Patriots got beat up at home. And to think, it could have been even better.

jefe p said...

id say the over/under on that toronto kid killing his parents and little sister is one week ago.

Steve In Denver said...

Wow.
I feel like I should shower after watching that.
Who knew Mr. Potatohead could breed.

Nulpher said...

To post the vid on 4Chan /b/ or not to post...


That is the question.

Kenny Bania said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pens in San Diego said...

What language is this in?

Kenny Bania said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dylan said...

Anyone see this yet? Sorry if it's old... I don't really read comments:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=plTk8MGOSjI

Dylan said...

Sorry, here's a linky:

Hey There Malone

Pensblog Staff said...

Dylan = Fail

wilsmith said...

Yeah Dylan, I think that might have been posted on the actual blog one or three times.

and nulpher, I'd almost rather see it end up on /gif/

you could come up with some great captions

akus said...

Nice pic of, BURIES IT "66", @ Empty Netters.

mafleuryfan said...

Wow...this video made my day. Did anyone check out the other ones he posted? "makedonolls cards to trade" is my favorite when his dad comes in and the kid calls out Jordan Staal (around 7:50) for not being worth anything. Maple Leafs suck. Go Pens.

dude350 said...

its numa numa guy in his youtube noob years!!!

sven butenschon said...

@ akus
That's me
enjoyingmy15minutesoffameblog

Bill said...

It's really great to know that you people were sports stars. But could you please let me know the game which you used to play when you were a kid ?

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