Thursday, November 13, 2008

Past Is Prologue

First things first.


When you submit a photoshop, if there is anyway you could put your initials in any part of the photoshop it would be greatly appreciated. This would protect against photoshops being stolen, and makes it easier for us to get the ball rolling on getting the 'shops into the post.
If you don't do it, we'll send you a virus.


Winner: SEAN K.

Winner: CORY W.

-- RON --

Detroit fans have already circled February 8th on their calendar for the Pens/Wings rematch.
It's got to be annoying to watch your team collapse at home.
We've been there.

[<span class=

But Pens fans have Thursday, November 13, circled.
The Flyers are coming to town tonight.
The Flyers have no talent. Nothing to respect.



And ADAM G. found douche of the year.


[<span class=

:: Scuds is listed as day to day. [ PENS ]
Can't afford to lose him for an extended period.

:: [ THE CONFLUENCE ] compares Matt Cooke and Ruutu.
:: [ Mark Madden ] is getting into the recap business. Good read.

:: TSN's Darren Dreger asks why Crosby is slumping.
No one in Pittsburgh even cares. The Pens have won four straight.
Crosby is Crosby. Find something else to phone in, Dreger. TSN

Pens goals from games 8 through 15, courtesy of ERIC P.
We don't commend him enough considering the amount of time he puts into these montages.


[<span class=

PUCK DADDY brings us this YouTube clip.
Hopefully he's back to titling his posts correctly again:

thanks to everyone who spotted the fail.

That's just vicious.
When did Jarkko Ruutu become a dirty player?
Honestly, he was never head-hunting in a Pens uniform.
He was just a pain in the ass.
He got suspended for two games.


Speaking of the Canadiens, their fanboys are already stuffing the ballot box for the NHL All-Star Game.

We'd hate to be "that site" and go and find a way to rig the balloting to get the Pens in there.
They're not gonna need help, anyway.
We'd start a Scuderi campaign, but he's on Secret Service duty during the All-Star Break.

Personally, we hope none of the Pens play in it. Rest up during the break.
If anyone should go, it should be Zigomanis.

You really have to commend those fans in Canada.
Since their votes only count as .8 of a vote compared to 1 American vote,
they've actually voted more than what's seen above.

Saku Koivu isn't an all star in his own house.



Lauren Z.

Go Pens


jefe p said...

good morning.
good stuff.
go pens.

TheFandangler said...

Richard Simmons = game day hero.

Fuck shit up.

sh0ez said...

So, since you guys took those screenshots of the leaders, each of the Habs players have gained another 22,000+ votes a piece.

What. The. Fuck.

J.S. said...

sounds like the work of a bot.

Oh well, let 'em rest.

fleuryous said...

That Pens goal video is what dreams are made of.

Dear Jesus, those last two goals give me goosebumps. AH. haha.

I've voted a couple times, and I'll keep doing it, but...Montreal is ridiculous. Dear Lord. haha.

And the Whose Line video?

...priceless. Simply priceless.

Staff, I really do love you.

And I love I'm going to go do that now. haha.

Gotta be ready for the IGLOO tonight. WOOOOOOOOO.

GO Pens.

BlacknGold66 said...

Nice post Staff.

I agree with J.S., that Montreal shit sounds like a bot.

That or the fact that it seemed nearly impossible to vote online yesterday as the server was "timed-out" every time I tried to load it.

Stilly said...

I gotta clear up some shit from the A2Y post cblog...

The joke I make about the Navy and the whorehouse is a joke I saw on The Unit. For those unfamiliar, it's a show about Delta force and they needed to get thrown in a mexican prison, so they started a fight with some Navy guys.

That's the line they used to start the fight. haha.

I just like to job the Chief and jobbing the Navy is low hanging fruit. I have absolutely nothing against any of the branches of the military.


I was reading on the NHL website and it says they can discount votes they believe were entered by a bot or voting program. I hope that's the case and no Canadiens go to the game.

BlacknGold66 said...

@Stilly: As I stated yesterday, you're alright in my book and that's a funny joke regardless.

I just got my panties in a bunch for no reason.

Montreal and their 100th year can have the All-Star game.

J.S. said...

In a way I hope that happens. Nothing like having a celebration in your backyard and having no family members to celebrate it. However, it'd be bad press for the NHL, so I don't see that happening. More than likely, they'll subtract those votes and a last minute campaign by Habs fans will save the day, or at least that's what the NHL will tell us.

Not saying that I believe in conspiracy theories, but I wouldn't be surprised if the NHL alters the voting in some form (see: Vote For Rory)

with sh0ez's math, Koivu had 66k votes (approx.), with Kovy and Tanguay both at 65k. You mean to tell me that Montreal's big three picked up 7k votes in 2 hrs before most people are awake? Koivu now has 76k, Kovy is edging up on 75k, and Tanguay has 74k.

NHL's new voting system = horsecrap

slush said...

Sweet goal montage in the morning. Doesnt get better than that. Wicked job Eric P.! Love the Foo too.

demondg1 said...

That douche of the year is actually a well known douchebag that goes by the name "Fung".

Seriously. Check it out.

An All Canadien All Star games proves how much the game is a joke. I hope they vote their whole team into the All Star game. Shit, I hope they pull off getting the Hamilton Bulldogs to play as the Western Conference All Stars. Hell, why stop there? Whats Guy LaFleur doing? Where's Ken Dryden. How bout a posthumous selection for Rocket Richard.

Canada, America's hat. Ass hat that is.

Scuds is legitimately too good to have a silly stuff the ballot campaign to get him in. The reason it works for a guy like Rory Fitzpatrick is because the guy really is "dead wood". (As Semin would say)

Ruutu was never a head hunter for the Pens. I gotta believe it's sexual frustration rearing it's ugly head. It's bound to be hard to get some ass in a city were 95% of the population is homosexual.

That said, it was an ugly play. But I still love that feisty Finn.

Stilly said...


It's all good. I saw your post from yestday. I just wanted to explain to anyone who might have thought I actually hated the Navy.

Can't wait to throttle Philly tonight. I'll probably get to watch the game, but I'll have to listen to the effing Flyers' TV guys. Kill me now.

J.S. said...

new totals after about 50 min

Leading Forwards
KOIVU, Saku80897 (+4172)
KOVALEV, Alex79166 (+4176)
TANGUAY, Alex78464 (+4188)
SEMIN, Alexander49488 (+754)
OVECHKIN, Alex29284 (+562)
GAGNE, Simon25947 (+158)
LECAVALIER, Vincent25865 (+165)
CROSBY, Sidney18038 (+946)
MALKIN, Evgeni13725 (+351)
SAVARD, Marc12367 (+251)

Docciavelli said...

NHL voting is a lie. It's like ACORN was registering Tony Romo to vote for Koivu or something...

Docciavelli said...

I won't trust NHL voting until it's audited by PriceWaterhouseCoopers. Like Enron was. Wait, what?

Matt said...

I didn't even know Ovechkin was playing this year.

And if they ever come out with, I'm sure Semin would be front and center.

Finally, I vote for Sean Connery as today's gameday hero. Bond movie comes out tomorrow, woooo

J.S. said...



there's also somebody on page 7 who picked up the javascript and had it chopped to the point where you paste it into your browser and submit. It mightly be slightly more legal, since each click is by hand, but still kinda shady in my opinion.

Rage said...

Man I hate me some habs. I'm sending that shit to anybody I can think of. What a class act for the 100th anniversary team. Hope it embarrasses the shit outta bettman tho. Anybody got more contacts I can send that shit to?

Bill said...

After an hour

KOIVU, Saku 96606 (+15709)
KOVALEV, Alex 94944 (+15778)
TANGUAY, Alex 94169 (15705)
SEMIN, Alexander 50622 (+1134)
OVECHKIN, Alex 30356 (+1072)
MALKIN, Evgeni 14793 (+1068)

Just wow. How pathetic can you get?

BlacknGold66 said...

So now what?

Do we do the same or let them have it and let Geno, Sid, and Flower rest?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Rage said...

I say give em up just to bug bettman

BlacknGold66 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rage said...

No dice BnG, said bad address

Rage said...

Anybody got a contact for TSN and ESPN?

Pensblog Staff said...


Could you describe how that javascript lets the habs fans do that?
And where did you find it?

Time to take this homos down.

Andrew S said...

Scud's beard is life changing. I hope he doesn't shave it all year so come playoff time he'll have the world's greatest beard.


Dude, Arthur Anderson audited Enron. Hence why they closed up shop.

debrisslide said...

The only thing worse than an All-Star Game full of Habs is an All-Star Game full of Habs plus Alexander Semin. :( said...

Not to be a douche about it, but didn't I post the "Stunned" clip first?

brett said...

lolol the whole starting 6 for the East is going to be Habs. that's going to be straight silly.

Actually, probably 4 of the starting 6 for the west will be Wings. also straight silly.

And Whose Line is cash money. One time i wasted an ENTIRE day just watching just Scenes From A Hat on youtube. and that's just one game.

Stilly said...

Fuck em let them have it. I hope all of our forwards get to rest now that I think about it. The all star game means absolutely dick.

Anything determined by a fan vote is a joke anyway. Who cares if they're in the all star game. If you're not playing, there's less risk of you getting hurt.

that is unless your last name is Roethlisberger.. WOOOOOOOOOOO.

Stilly said...


If I weren't on my work PC, I'd get into the inner workings of that Javascript. I don't wanna download it here incase there's a really gay Montreal virus that would give my PC AIDS.

Hip said...

Trial of Tears is hilarious. Not sure why.

Got to be careful for a let down tonight. Still gotta bring it.

Go Pens.

Rage said...

Screw that, they're freakin Canadian. Get em staff. said...

I'm looking at the javascript now.

It seems pretty simple.

Also, I don't think it's possible to write in Scuderi as a vote. His name doesn't come up for me when I type it. Orpik's does.

Rage said...

@pensexperience-Scuds is on there I was voting for him yesterday when the page would load

Stilly said...

That's lame if you can't get Scuds.

I voted for Goligoski three times yesterday. Sometimes the auto complete is goofy and you have to type really slow to get the name to come up. Like it wouldn't understand 'Orpik' but it would take 'Orp' and then bring up the suggestion when you pause.

It's pretty shitty coding if you ask me. What's that? You didn't ask me? Whatev. said...

Maybe it's the page not loading that's the issue for me.

Essentially the script works by choosing random numbers for players one through six (the West) and then it selects the Canadiens by the numbers, submits the votes and then refreshes. said...

The site is terrible. I logged in and it said "You are not authorized to view this page."
I refreshed and now it's letting me in... very slowly.

Stilly said...

The west part of the script isn't even necessary. You don't have to fill in the west players to cast your ballot.

If the script is as simple as you describe, I doubt there is any special logic or scripting to hide the origin of votes. My guess is that the IP information is being captured for every vote that comes in and the timing in which the votes are recieved will get any votes added by an automated script tossed out.

I would be wary of using that script even if I were manually just popping numbers in and running it. That kind of activity would take considerably less time than it takes to go through the whole voting process multiple times. Those votes would probably get tossed too.

Rage said...

Apparently not many getting thrown out at all. I think you may be giving Bettman and a little too much credit.

Stilly said...


I doubt they'll do it on the fly. They probably don't have people monitoring this stuff day and night. My guess is they would be tossed during the counting of the votes. Who know though.. this is Bettman we're talking about.

Stilly said...

Although.. they could setup an anti-script script. Something that looked for patterns and signatures like an IDS (that's intrusion detection system for you non-geeks out there). If they proactively waxed automated votes as they came in.. it would be sweet.

Seems like a complex pain in the ass for online fan voting though.

kstewy16 said...

Wow I try to vote for the ASG and get some server maintenance bullshit.
It happened right after I put down that I was from the USA...
Its a Canadian conspiracy. said...

So I have the script and I have a list of the ID numbers for all of the Penguins..... do I combine them?

slush said...

It let me fill the ballot out. I got a zillion javascript errors as I did it, and then when I clicked to submit, it gave me the server maintenance bullshit. its rigged.

Stilly said...

I'd say that's up to you PensExp...

If you're setting it up to run every 2 minutes, I wouldn't plan on your votes counting.

kstewy16 said...

haha, Kovy "Vote or Die"

Stilly said...

I wonder if they're not putting something in to try and thwart vote spammers... said...

For anyone interested, here are the numbers for the Pens:

Sidney Crosby = 8471675
Evgeni Malkin = 8471215
Max Talbot = 8470171
Jordan Staal = 8473533
Tyler Kennedy = 8471311
Miroslav Satan = 8459534
Petr Sykora = 8460465
Matt Cooke = 8465951
Mike Zigomanis = 8467937
Eric Godard = 8468252
Pascal Dupuis = 8466393
Ruslan Fedotenko = 8468172
Jeff Taffe = 8468510
Chris Minard = 8470383
Janne Pesonen = 8471480
Paul Bissonnette = 8470713
Bill Thomas = 8472361

Brooks Orpik = 8468498
Darryl Sydor = 8458172
Kris Letang = 841724
Mark Eaton = 8467580
Alex Goligoski = 8471274
Rob Scuderi = 8467452
Hal Gill = 8459628

Marc-Andre Fleury = 8470594
Dany Sabourin = 8467430

Rage said...

Like I said..I think you're giving em WAY too much credit. Bettman paid a 12 year old $5 an hour to do this shit up said...

It looks like they added a Captcha to the ballot to prevent spam.

Stilly said...

That will definitely defeat that simple Javascript floating around.

BlacknGold66 said...

Damn Kovy has a sexy tattoo on his right arm.


jefe p said...

i have no work at work, so im just going to work on voting. slow as hellll tho.

KaylaJ said...

habs robot voting goes under funny but pathetic. like someone else said if the pens don't get in i won't be too bummed considering it'll mean they get some rest. plus i still remember jagr messing up his groin in the fastest skate competition in 94 and missing not only the AS game but a few games after.

secondly why is dreger only asking about crosby when guys like AO & kovalchuk are both off their usual mark as well? and better yet, why ask in november?

finally, last but not least: i hate the flyers! said...

My votes never go through.
This is stupid.
I quit.

kstewy16 said...

My ballot doesn't have a captcha.
Don't know where you guys are voting...

Anyway, once FSN gets their ass into the vote for the pens thing, they will start getting votes.
And it says right there that a player has to play 20 games before the ASG in order to be elligible, there is no way in hell that Gonch or Whit will be close to that, so why did they even bother to put them on the ballot?

slush said...

I always get the server maintenance error. whatev.

KaylaJ said...

mine was a bit slow to begin with, but i just voted pretty easily with no difference than last night.

J.S. said...

staff, I have very little programming experience, so my opinion is for entertainment purposes only. Once I did my intership, I got away from it as far as possible.

The code, which I pulled from another file, takes those 6 Habs, puts them into an array and I think randomly pulls from the array so it's not pulling the same order each time. Anyways, I have an edited version of that script on

What I need is for somebody to host the jscript file on a site that keeps the filename entact. Once that is done, those instructions on the Habs page can be rewritten and pointed to the edited jscript file.

As I have it written right now, it's voting Cros, Geno, The Superstar, Orpik, Letang, and Fleury in the East and Parros, Boll, Eager, Vandermeer, Commodore, and Drouin-Deslauriers in the West.

In about 5 seconds, you should have mail.

jefe p said...

yeah dont know why votes are being wasted on gonch and whits. they havent done shit this year. trade them! said...

Jefe, do you think we could bundle them into a package with Staal and maybe get a high round pick?

J.S. said...

@stilly, the copy I have of that script looks like it's pulling the numbers in the array for the East, or am I misreading it?

Carroll said...

I haven't had any problems voting today, yesterday it wouldn't work at all. Go figure.

jefe p.- you are so right we haven't had any help from Gonchar or Whitney this year, what slackers!

Carroll said...

I can't believe the puck bunnies alone haven't put Sid ahead of the Canadian robots. What's worse is Ovie and Semen are ahead of him too.

puck bunnies should be embarrassed.

Rage said...
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Rage said...
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Rage said...
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Rage said...

holy crap, that douchebag is a white kid!!!! Do chicks REALLY respond to that shit? OMFG

Stilly said...


I haven't seen the code. I was just going off of what pensexperience was saying.

TheFandangler said...

Fung has a tan line around his hair...

Rage said...

@fan- I saw that dude and THAT, my friend, is a makeup line. Ladies, would you be so kind as to confirm? That dude isn't a douche...he's a Drag Queen

demondg1 said...

Fung really cracks my shit up.

TheFandangler said...

Sorry, Rage.

I'm not familiar enough to get that. His face looks like it is going to pop. It's like purple...

If he tripped and had his face land in dog shit, he'd look more normal.

jefe p said...

@pensexp -high round if we're lucky..

J.S. said...


link to the code

as mentioned players 1-6 should be eastern players, 7-12 from the west.

Stilly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stilly said...

Ok my Javascript knowledge is limited so I'm not going to comment on it too much. I'm more into SQL and PL/SQL and I haven't had Javascript since my Sophomore year in college (read 5 years ago). I will say that the array declaration is currently inside a comment block. That would have to be undone.

I'm also not entirely sure how the array values are being assigned to the player_1 thru player_6. If the ampersands are list delimiters, there is never a value assigned.

Stilly said...

in the 'post' variable declaration in the Try/Catch block.

Heck Kleck said...

danielle is out for tonights game. cryer pulls non-existant groin..

powerhouse said...

Trail of Tears some howling funny, ha ha ha ha ha stuff. I just could not help bursting out laughing on that one, oh yeah that is an accomplishment in sarcastic creativity there. I have ticks for tonight after Detroit the other night that place will be SACREAMING!!! Love hockey no other sport will do, sorry Stillers.

Rage said...

Is it just me, or do I feel a pregnant pause waiting for the game day post?

Stilly said...

Yeah shit just kind of died off. Totally lame.

debrisslide said...

Lately GameDay hasn't been going up until like an hour before the game. Lame.

EatonFreeCandy4Life said...

I absolutely loved the goal montage Eric P. Awesome.

Did you make one of the first 7 games?

dying alive said...

Anyone know where I can watch online tonight? I'm in Ohio and I'm going to try to find a BW3s or a Damon's to watch the game, but I need an emergency back-up plan.

debrisslide said...

dying alive, has a link up.

caramia said...

dying alive - I recently moved to Ohio, why on earth do they call it BW3s? It just doesn't make sense.

Victor Raison said...

Oh man. Ohio?

I'm sorry to hear that.

Ohio is like Pennsylvania's siamese twin with the arm on her head.

Joe said...

anyone got any extra tickets for tonight?

SexyChubbs said...

Eric P - Great video! That just made me giddy and looking forward to tonight even more.

Did anybody notice that the majority of the goals came just because they put them on the net? I think we just forget that sometimes (and no, I'm not one of those "Just Shoot It! Shoot the Puck! idiots).

Why does it feel like it's been a week since the Detroit game? Why do I find myself telling everyone about the Detroit game, whether they've ever watched a game or not? My wife caught me telling the wall about the game, just so I could talk about it. The good news was that the wall was listening better than my students.

BlacknGold66 said...

@D.A: What part of Ohio. I know the hookups. If there is a Winking Lizard nearby they will have Center Ice.

@Caramia: BW3's is now Buffalo Wild Wings... but it used to be called Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck. Don't ask me why... ask the bastards in Columbus that invented it. Weirdos.

Vold said...

@DA: Yahoo should have the game live.

Try here:

Sorry about the link, I'm technologically challenged.

dying alive said...

I'm near Dayton. I googled The Winking Lizard and there aren't any near here. No place we called had it either, including BW3s. Weird.

Channelsurfing it is, I guess, thanks all.

Nulpher said...

Lets just mass vote Osgood in as the Western conference goalie, then his horribleness will be exposed since he won't have Detroit's system helping him out.


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