Tuesday, November 11, 2008

GAMEDAY [15] -- DETROIT RED WINGS

[Picture+4.png]

Detroit sucks.
Actually, they're pretty good.

The Pens are 1-0 in their last one visit to Joe Louis Arena.

How many games did Hossa play with the Pens, like, 8?
Get real.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Since there's really no backstory to this game, no rivalries, and no anger,
we looked into our crystal testicles and have seen how the game will play out.

GORDIE HOWE -- SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE


His first order of business will be ordering the players to play naked and sweat as much as possible. He will be fitted with a coat of iron armor so that when he turns to dust on the ice, it will still look like someone is out there.

HOSSA

The Red Wings get awarded a power play early in the first period. Hossa jumps onto the ice for the power play but sees a five-dollar bill on the bench and races for it. The Pens take advantage of the mishap, and Godard puts one past Osgood.

THE RED BLAZER

Tied 3-3 late in the third, the Pens find themselves on a 5-on-3 power play. But the man advantage gets interrupted when a cable holding Steve Yzerman aloft above the playing surface snaps and he goes careening to the ice surface. He survives the fall, however, cheating death in the same manner he cheated his way onto the executive board for Team Canada.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


NATE
what a chair


Some Lions fan touched the Stanley Cup and chanted Crosby
in order to jinx him and the Penguins. PUCK DADDY
Lions fan. We thought all Lions fans killed themselves years ago.

A new blog on the scene, PUCK HUFFERS, has a preview of the game.


redemption

581 comments:

J-Farm said...

So pumped for this one

christina said...

excellent, excellent gameday post.

LETS GO PENS!!!

Colin said...

Sid shows Hossa what he is missing tonight.

Go Pens.

OrpikSmash said...

i bet free candy will be lining up hossa at some point

RedWings said...

Damn, I'm gonna miss the first half at my eight year old's gymnastics class.

Good luck to all (especially the Wings though, eh?)

chris e said...

Let's do this shit!

debrisslide said...

*dies*

Go Pens.

brett said...

what a photo.

DO IT

Kimberlass said...

GO PENS!!!

(I hear you all should really check out that PuckHuffers shit.)

fleuryous said...

Good Sweet Lord, I am pumped.

I'm not wishing harm on anyone, but I hope Godard sets them straight. haha.

STAAL, get another goal.

Go Pens.

btumpak said...

Sid has a hat trick tonight... gordie howe style


GO PENS

fleuryous said...

This is really not a bitter comment (really), but why do people bother buying actual Hossa jerseys?

I can totally understand jersey t-shirts...but, that jersey is going to be worthless the next season, regardless of who he's playing for.

WOO. haha

OOCally said...

This Sux have to listen to VRS sucky comitary.....

dying alive said...

The Red Wings get awarded a power play early in the first period. Hossa jumps onto the ice for the power play but sees a five-dollar bill on the bench and races for it.

Lolz. Hey, they've already mentioned a few times that this "Marian Hossa" guy used to play in Pittsburgh. Anyone familiar with him?

BlacknGold66 said...

Get in the fast lane Grandma...

debrisslide said...

Game hasn't even happened yet and I'm already dying.

nu said...

Elroy = is not passing Tommy Barrasso in wins TONIGHT.

DO IT.

Team Canada said...

Does anyone know where I can watch online?? Thanks!

rickyaustin33 said...

FUCK TIME WARNER CABLE.

I pay for NHL Center Ice, NHL Network, and a sports package which is the only way to get Versus, on top of internet and digital cable...

And what channel is "unavailable" right now and broken?? VERSUS.

On the phone with them, they think the box is fucked.

Go to hell Time Warner.

How well do these 'feeds' work?

debrisslide said...

www.justin.tv/sportzone2/popout

OrpikSmash said...

don't mind versus if i can listen to doc emrick. it's the eastern conference finals crew that's unbearable

dying alive said...

I feel like there's something wrong with me because I just can't get angsty about this match up. I know they beat us in the Finals last year, but I still can't bring myself to care about the Wings. Half of their guys will be moving to Shady Pines in the next three years and our stars will still be under 25.

Again with the Hossa. I wish I knew who they were talking about.

fleuryous said...

MAF is coming out strong. WOO.

Team Canada said...

Thanks so much Debrisslide! Woohoo GO PENS!

OrpikSmash said...

i'm pretty sure this is malkin's first career game against detroit

OrpikSmash said...

fuck yeah bing!!!

malkinian said...

Seeing all those empty seats at the "The Joe" makes me even more bitter about them winning the Cup last year. Even though there'd be no revenge factor for the wings, how would you not wanna go to a finals rematch game??? Their fans deserve shit

fleuryous said...

BIIIIIIIIIING.

dying alive said...

Way to go, Gary's Baby Boy.

Team Canada said...

EAT IT HOSSA!

malkinian said...

Buries It

OrpikSmash said...

it makes it so much better that satan got the primary assist, fuck hossa

dying alive said...

Seeing all those empty seats at the "The Joe" makes me even more bitter about them winning the Cup last year.

No kidding, that's just pathetic. I demand the immediate and unconditional surrender of the nickname Hockey Town.

Allison said...

I think it woulda been funny if marc andre parodyd his trip out onto the ice, just as a "yea, I fell, I think its funny too, get over it."

debrisslide said...

This ain't no Stanley Cup Final, bitches.

pops said...

dont want to jinx anything but the pens look hungry so far. wooooooo

TIMKO said...

That montreal goal...sick. Pens look confident compared to the first game of last years finals.

CK said...

Hockey Town sure is quiet right now.

pops said...

shit. scuds.

dying alive said...

Oh no, Scuds! :(

fleuryous said...

Oh, Scuds.

I hope he's okay.

kstewy16 said...

Oh great, now our third top-4 defenseman is out.
Aren't injuries just great?

fleuryous said...

That sounded really unsympathetic, but I really meant it.

Man oh man.

Allison said...

scuderi- fuck... Sydor doing cartwheels again?

OrpikSmash said...

better to have injuries now than in the spring

pops said...

maybe it was just a stinger. maybe he'll be back.

kstewy16 said...

Orpik is playing over 30 minutes tonight. Bank on it.

OrpikSmash said...

i think maybe not having gonch and whitney is helping the pens tonight, instead of streaking thru the neutral zone looking for the long outlet, its more of a controlled team effort carrying it thru, detroit's defense doesn't look nearly as effective as it did in the finals

pops said...

fuck

dying alive said...

Looks like McCarty took his Geritol tonight.

CK said...

Man that building sounds empty on the radio.

malkinian said...

Didn't realize McCarty was outta rehab

pops said...

yay scuds is back

pops said...

fucking shit

Zach said...

double fuck

kstewy16 said...

Please don't take any more penalties. Please. Please. If we stay out of the box, we can win, but if we allow them to be on the PP for a bunch of the game, we might as well just leave now.

malkinian said...

Wow in 5 minutes it feels like June again

pops said...

now i remember why i hate all these faggots

OrpikSmash said...

there goes the perfect-for-november penalty kill

dying alive said...

I'm so glad to see Scuds back. That could have been nasty.

The only thing that really bothers me about that second goal is that it was Holmstrom who scored it. His entire game is parking his fat old ass in front of the goalie and moving his stick around, and then looking incredulously at the ref any time someone tries to move him. He's good at it, so I guess I'll give credit where it's due, but still. I can't stand the guy.

pops said...

goddamn these guys are all over us. no time no space.

dying alive said...

If you get a ticket for this game...

Doesn't look like it was too tough to get a ticket for that game, Doc.

Nulpher said...

Of course they throw in Conklin instead of OsHorrible.

pops said...

come on. stop taking fucking penalties!!!

Nulpher said...

Oh, and why the fuck are we handing them Power Plays?

kstewy16 said...

Seriously, they were handing out tickets to the bums as part of their "Please god, please help us fill the Joe" campaign.
And can we please stop taking penalties. I'm about to fucking cry. If they beat us thats fine, but can we not shoot ourselves in the foot?

debrisslide said...

One-goal leads are whatev.

OrpikSmash said...

shots 14-5 detroit... sounds familiar

OrpikSmash said...

of course these penalties have a lot to do with that

nu said...

uhhh, nulpher, you know that *is* Elroy in goal for Detroit, right?

pops said...

god, i remember the little clutching and grabbing shit. its too small to call a penalty on, but they dont give you enough time to do anything when they're riding your ass all over the ice. its impressive, but christ do i hate it

The Goon Blogger said...

HCMT needs to calm the boys down in the lockerroom. Simple as this: We can skate with these guys, we were dictating the play before we started getting bogged down with penalties. We're playing solid hockey, let's get back to where we were the first half of the first.

Also, Detroit needs to take Hockey Town off their ice, because it's a fucking joke. Rematch of the Stanley Cup Finals, you're the defending cup Champs, and you STILL can't sell your building out? What a fucking Joke. You're not even "Passing Interest in Hockey Town" because even Carolina and Tampa Bay sold out when they were champions. Jokes.

kstewy16 said...

Brian Engbolm without a mullet is like a dick without balls.

fleuryous said...

stewy hahahahah.


My friend and I were discussing the same thing.

LosPinguinos said...

Penalties? Throwing the puck at their feet? Wtf.

Does anyone else despise Vs. announcers?

OrpikSmash said...

doc emrick is good but everyone else sucks ass

Rachael said...

Joe the Plumber > Versus

kstewy16 said...

I like Edzo, he's funny, kinda like the Bibster, but they always have some other douche with Doc this season, it's almost never Edzo.

Paul said...

http://atdhe.net/live-tv-362.html

watch the game here.

pops said...

don emrick is ok, but during that period he somehow stated that fleury played for detroit and that crosby took a shot in on fleury. big mistakes.

The Goon Blogger said...

Versus' B Team > Versus' A Team.

PenguinsExperience.com said...

These are my observations after the first period:

1) I asked my wife why they only gave out 10,000 Veteran's Day pins instead of giving them to everyone. Then I realised that they probably didn't sell more than 10,000 tickets.
2) I didn't realise there was a crowd in the arena until after the first goal.
3) According to the VS. announcers every member of the Red Wings team is the greatest at everything they do.
4) McCarty probably left the interview early to see if he could score some blow.
5) The Pens need to stop getting penalties.
6) Marian is a girl's name.

pops said...

jesus

Zach said...

fuck my balls

LosPinguinos said...

fuck.

dying alive said...

Whoops!

pops said...

can we not get blown out, please?

dying alive said...

All 1500 people in the building jumped to their feet in jubilation!

kstewy16 said...

Fuck I was about to say at least they didn't call the high stick on letang... i guess not

pops said...

WHAT THE FUCK!? ANOTHER PENALTY? FOR WHAT?

OrpikSmash said...

seriously, another penalty???

TIMKO said...

C BLOG = Choke Blog

Good thing I'm drinking

pops said...

please, at least make these penalties count. knock someones teeth out or something.

pops said...

maybe the refs will call a penalty on that. cunts.

OrpikSmash said...

we need some "even up" calls

dying alive said...

OK, that is like the third time I have seen fans sitting right along the glass get up RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF PLAY to leave their seats.

pops said...

great. the refs are fucking blind.

kstewy16 said...

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

OrpikSmash said...

fuck yeah

pops said...

THATS WHAT WE NEED WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

SOME LUCKY BOUNCES

Robert Ullman said...

Yeah!

StillsandNash said...

Lange, "Osgood looked STUNNED."

OrpikSmash said...

superstar is starting to become somewhat of a superstar lol

LosPinguinos said...

Mad Max :)

dying alive said...

Talbot pulls a Holmstrom. Chicka-chee-chee.

malkinian said...

God forbid the Pens get a lil good karma in the shithole arena

fleuryous said...

The ref is actually Pierre McGuire.


vomit.

pops said...

tackling people in front of the net, sure thats not a penalty.

Rage said...

As Jack Lambert used to say, "If you can't beat 'em, then beat 'em up." Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of goonery...(with apologies to Big Billy Shakes.

kstewy16 said...

Make up call anyone...

dhudzin said...

Oh my god... the comments on the Puck Daddy article are absolutely hilarious.

fleuryous said...

Woah, no sooner I say it....


PPG, PENS.

Nulpher said...

I heard conklin mentioned on the radio. Unless it was a mistake. This damn computer is too slow to handle the online feed (I'm using a pentium 1 backup system since my desktop died last night). Its taking forever to just load the blog on this...

pops said...

the arena is so quiet the refs dont even need a microphone for us to hear what the call is

Allison said...

Who scored I had to leave my house for a little bit?

dhudzin said...

Mad Max.

pops said...

DIE, JUDAS!

kstewy16 said...

Sykie off of Talbots skate.. so i guess talbot.

dying alive said...

Fleury poops in Marian's mouth.

Allison said...

O I got it now

pops said...

pens are playing with more emotion and going to the net. gotta love that.

kstewy16 said...

This game has completely turned around. Our forcheck is raping them now.

malkinian said...

This is gonna sound like a braindead comment but it seems like we don't use the "advantage" in the powerplay. Instead of quick passing to set up legit one-timers and such we spend half the time just flinging the puck around the boards and trying to maintain possession

Rage said...

I wish so much life-long harm on the whole Detroit team that I'm beginning to worry myself.

dying alive said...

malkanian, I agree. I remember one power play last season where everyone on the ice just kept setting Malkin up for slapshot after slapshot. It was beautiful, and it worked.

kstewy16 said...

I actually like the Detroit team and have a shit load of respect for them, but their fans are the biggest douches next to canadians.

OrpikSmash said...

ranger fans have to be up there on the list too

LosPinguinos said...

Damn commercials.

Rage said...

I'd pull for ANYBODY against this team...

pops said...

YEA GODARD! i like it

kstewy16 said...

hahaha kronwall tried to line up Godard and got spanked. What a joke, I guess he can't hit without leaping into the man.

dying alive said...

Nobody is worse than Buffalo fans.

SexyChubbs said...

Shit...just announced. Scuds is out. Damnit!

kstewy16 said...

CMON FED EX SHOOT THE FUCKING PUCK!

fleuryous said...

This game's got more action than Paris Hilton's bedroom.

Dear Lord.

OrpikSmash said...

versus doesn't know the rule that u don't go to commercial after icing

Rage said...

I could live with Scuds being out if Geno fired a big shot into Franzen's grille

pops said...

HOW IS THAT NOT INTERFERENE?

Rage said...

@fleuryous...I don't know if that's even possible..lolz

LosPinguinos said...

motherfucker

pops said...

fucking shit.

Zach said...

fuck this shit

dying alive said...

Count Chocula puts one in. Assist to Holmstrom's giant ass.

malkinian said...

Anybody wanna grow a pair & get him outta Fleury's way???

kstewy16 said...

So who wants to step up and pull a todd bertuzzi on Holmstrom???

I wouldn't mind if it killed him...

pops said...

i cant believe this cunt osgood wins cups. all thanks to the red wings system. he never earned and never will earn shit.

PenguinsExperience.com said...

Are the Penguins ever going to make any attempt to move Holmstrom from the front of the net?

What the hell is wrong with our defense?

kstewy16 said...

Sid Malkin Talbot line, HCMT is serious about this shit.

kstewy16 said...

OK, my laptop is dead, so I'm done on here for this game, lets hope it works out boys and girls.

Rage said...

Ugh...this game is damaging my soul

dying alive said...

The Red Wings have just been artistic.

I seriously hope that no Wings fan has the audacity to claim that Vs. has some kind of Penguins favoritism ever again. I've never heard this much ass kissing in my life.

malkinian said...

penexper:

I don't think they will. If he was simply overpowering that'd be one thing but to completely lose him on the ice is another. Nobody was within 5 feet of him

slush said...

I find myself SCREAMING at the TV right now. Expletives are flying. I fucking hate this team. The fat fucks. Would someone please lay out Holmstrom already?? WTF??!!?

And this Ryan Malone commercial is pissing me off too. Fuck you too. Thats right.

debrisslide said...

I think our winning stats for "trailing after 2" are better than "leading after 2."

Just saying.

pops said...

its safe to say the red wings are the sole reason why i want to punch anything and anyone that looks swedish

PenguinsExperience.com said...

I don't understand how this team doesn't do fundamental things like covering the players that stand in front of your net or shooting the puck instead of just passing it.

It's infuriating.

So are the announcers. Every move the Red Wings do is performed to perfection.

This team will never win anything important if they can't do some basic things right.

OOCally said...

The VS. Announcers need to take Hossa's Dick out of there ass and spit at Datsuks cock for a bit and try not to sound to biased.

OOCally said...

spit out not at

debrisslide said...

This game isn't 100% pathetic, people.

pops said...

no, besides a couple of bad penalties and a couple of bad plays, i think the pens are playing with a lot of heart and grit at times. i like the effort, but it still feels like shit losing to this fucking team AGAIN! hoping for a crazy third.

The Goon Blogger said...

Pens are playing hard for us and we are still in this game. One goal and the flakey "More interested in waving at the camera then watching the game" Red Wing fans will fall silent and the momentum will come back to ourside.

The Pens are playing gutsy, LeGame and Go-Go Boots have gained a huge amount of respect in my book as they are playing huge with even bigger minutes then they've been getting this season.

Cooke and Staal set the tone at the end of the period with the big check on Datsyuk. We're not gonna back down.

It's really terrible because my head is telling me this game in the end doesn't matter all that match, my heart is telling me this is the most important game of the season. I think we can lie to ourselves all we want about being over the Cup Finals and this being a new season. But we all definatly want that revenge.

OrpikSmash said...

losing 4-2 after 2 to detroit is better than losing 3-2 after 2 to the islanders

Rage said...

@Slush-that rant was artistic.

OOCally said...

Best part so far..... The Goddard hit and drag on that D (didn't get his name as he tumble along)

OrpikSmash said...

i'm really sick of this enzyte commercial, i think i'd rather hear "saved by zero"

slush said...

rage- thanks. i dont normally let it fly in here, but I am fucking pissed. cant help it. i think we all feel this way right now. i still have hope.

the goon- you got it. not over it. want us to beat this team more than ever. i find myself saying 'fuck you' to all of them on the close-ups. still haaaate them.

pops said...

i kinda wish our road PP wasnt the worst in the world...

OOCally said...

Want more of those Sasquatch Jerkey commercials.

The Goon Blogger said...

@oocally

It was Mr. Leaves His Feet himself, Kronwall.

PatricktPB said...

The VS announcers make me want to stab my ears with a long pen.

OOCally said...

Well Going back to watch The Pens Open a 3rd Period Ass Whooping on the dirty Tampax (Redwings)......

Allison said...

Orpiksmash- good point

OrpikSmash said...

gonchar probably scores on that slapper

PenguinsExperience.com said...

Now it's time for the announcers to jerk off about how absolutely amazing the Wings' powerplay is.

pops said...

i hope the red wings team plane crashes into the fucking joe.

fleuryous said...

I really do hate Versus.

Rage said...

thank you pops

OrpikSmash said...

can't really argue with the announcers, its not like the pens have a lousy PK

btumpak said...

WHY THE FUCK do the announcers keep jobbing Bing for not having 18 goals??? He has 18 pts. WTF

Zach said...

im going to slit a baby's throat

slush said...

dont we all. hate them.

pops said...

i hope the whole red wings team gets aids from each other and dies.

Rage said...

oooooohh yeeesss, we do

PenguinsExperience.com said...

OH GOD DAMMIT FOR FUCK SAKE!!!

"The artistry continues" my fucking ass!

btumpak said...

@ oocally


Sasquatch is the best.

Nulpher said...

what...the...fuck...

slush said...

how much did they have to pay Sid to call versus 'the home of hockey"?

Nulpher said...

Well... 5 on 3... lets do this.

LosPinguinos said...

Make this shit hurt.

5-on-3 lets go!

PenguinsExperience.com said...

I fucking hate Chris Osgood.

He just stands there in front of the net, faces hardly any shots, faces hardly any traffic, and is praised as if he has anything at all to do with the Wings' victories.

pops said...

the refs wait until were down 3 to start calling shit? thanks, cunts.

Allison said...

Ok. So I leave the house to print pictures for a funeral and come back to find it 5-2 and somehow feel even worse. Thanks detroit fucktards

pops said...

holy shit, geno

btumpak said...

@ Allison


sorry. those douche bags are insensitive ass clowns

OrpikSmash said...

sweetest 5-3 sequence in history!

Jawsh said...

FOR THE MOTHERLAND!

LosPinguinos said...

Fuckin A :)

PenguinsExperience.com said...

Malkin is awesome.

Robert Ullman said...

Lange: Osgood just lost his liquor license!

>Listening on the radio cause seeing the faces of those dicks on the Wings makes me want to throw a beer bottle at the TV screen.

Robert Ullman said...

Stallsie!

Disclaimer

We are in no way affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Pensblog uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey our criticism and inform the public.

Photos on The Pensblog are used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us (thepensblog@gmail.com) and we will be happy to oblige.

wooo