Wednesday, September 24, 2008

New York Rangers Season Preview

We were going to email [Bullshit Bulletin] for his take on the Rangers.
But we figured his computer still has water damage from all the crying he did in the playoffs last year.

So we're going to preview the Rangers.

Our thoughts?

Glen Sather eats poop.

Have fun without Double J.

Go Pens


Korn said...

First? I never get to do that...

Johnny Wrath said...

I hope we see NYR in the post-season again. We beat the three teams I hate the most, in order, and damn it did it feel great.

Kicksave said...

Best. Preview. Ever.

Korn said...

just set the DVR via directv online. Gonna have some penguins hockey waiting for me when I get home from work tomorrow. Whoo HOOOOOOOOO!

Raybin said...

Most accurate preview yet.

What a joke of a franchise.

Hey Ranger fans, let us know how Wade Redden for 6.5 mil and Markus Naslund for 5 mil this year work out.

I think Ranger fans and Maple Leaf fans should get together for speed dating and a circle jerk. I think they'd find they have much in common.

Raybin said...

And not only no Double J, but no Straka and perhaps no Shanahan.

Let's see how Wonderboy Dubinsky does without Jagr and Marty to make him look like a real player.

Dr. Turkleton said...

Who said golf wasn't a physically demanding sport ???

By SUN MEDIA AND WIRE SERVICES: with my added comment in [].

Blues defenceman Erik Johnson, the No. 1 pick in the 2006 draft, tore two ligaments in his right knee during a recent golf outing and is expected to miss the entire season but to recover fully.

"In our business you get a few curveballs," team president John Davidson said last night before a pre-season game against Dallas. "This is a pretty good curveball."

Johnson, 20, was injured on a team golf outing Sept. 16 when his right foot got caught between the accelerator and the brake of his golf cart. [when he went to step out of the golf cart]

Last season as a rookie, Johnson played in 69 games and recorded five goals and 33 points. He is considered the centrepiece of the team's youth movement.

looks like has an NHL game listed at 730p without specific teams...

24 roster spots for the European Vacation [photoshops, anyone?]

I believe the Pens announced they are taking 3 goalies, so that leafs [in honour of tonites game] 21 spots...[thanks DA, for the earlier cut & paste props!]

Who ya takin'...who ya leavin' behind ???

And when they come back...which lucky guy gets to fly from JFK to AVP instead of PIT??? [AVP is the airport code for Wilkes Barre-Scranton...their airport is technically in AVoca, Pa....[sorry, my old airline knowledge came out!]


brndlynn said...

probably the most accurate preview so far. nicely done. i was dreading having to read a post from the bs bulletin.

Stephanie B. said...

I'm going to see the Jan. 28 game in the Burgh v. the Rangers.
Happy to see I'll see a win on home ice.

Johnny Wrath said...

I know Canada thirsts for a domestic Cup winner, but I'm seeing Montreal featured much too prominently as Eastern and Championship favorites. Its their 100th anniversary, I know, but that isn't going to make Saku a real #1 Centre. Also, Philly.

It only took Glen Sather one season to relapse into traditional Ranger management strategies; sign everybody.

"Actually only needed Drury or Gomez? Who the hell cares about that? Other teams wanted to sign them, and we won the battle that matters to Rangers fans, namely, getting those sellouts into our sweaters. We actually thought Naslund was the defender and Redden was a LW, but we got the contracts to their agents so fast there wasn't time to blink.

We also made a phone call to Columbus and decided it was time to re-institute traditional Rangers trade negotiation tactics, namely, demanding that they give us their stars. We don't believe in developing our ow players.

Get ready for us to once again lord Madison Square Garden around as the envy of the civilized world and Mecca of such things as underachieving high-rent teams, suspicious merchandise proceed funneling, and of course, remarkably god-damned enormous rats".

P.O. said...

posts like this are what makes my world go round... short and to the point... brilliant!

Stilly said...

@dr. turk

I'm taking these lines from Faceoff Factor, but they look like the most sensible lines at this point.

Line 1: Dupuis – Crosby – Satan
Line 2: Staal – Malkin – Sykora
Line 3: Fedotenko – Talbot – Cooke
Line 4: Pesonen – Taffe – Kennedy
Extra: Godard, Bissonnette

D1: Orpik – Goligoski
D2: Letang – Eaton
DR: Scuderi – Gill
Extra: Sydor
IR: Whitney, Gonchar

G1: Fleury
G2: Sabourin
Extra: Curry

The argument could be made for Thomas over Bissonnette, but I like the toughness in this lineup.

Max Power said...

I wouldn't mind seeing an Orpik-Letang pairing. 6-1 PENS. The Leafs blow.

Excelent post. The virgins at the Bullshit Bulletin are in for a treat this season. Nothing they post will be able to rationalize how awful their team is this year.

Dr. Turkleton said...

Commit to Johnny Wrath
[solid blog-read, too]


thanks for pointing out that FF article...that was a good read.

only problem I see w/o Thomas in the mix is that he would have to clear waivers to get to WB/S....same with Richmond & [not as important] Connor James.

With GoGo, Bison & Peso not having to clear waivers, that makes the decision for King Shero that much more difficult, IMO.

It's not like any of these guys on the bubble are potential 40 goal scorers or the next coming of Bobby Orr. I believe it's basically decisions for fringe 3rd and solid 4th liners.

I should've probably just punched Curry's ticket to WB/S when they come back, in order to get the roster down to they won't carry 3 goalies back in North America. That's probably the easiest of all the decisions that will be made.


brndlynn said...

@ stilly: would you really take Goligoski over sydor? from what ive heard he's not quite NHL ready.

Johnny Wrath said...

I remember seeing a link on the 2 man advantage's page that perfectly describes Darryl Sydor. It was a hyperlink that read "what remains of Darryl Sydor". The link lead to a medium-sized picture of a half-eaten sandwich.

GoGo cracks the lineup easily now that Gonch unfortunately is on the IR.

By the way, Philly, this is what the IR is for; really injured players, not an overflow for your mismanagement of the cap Wankers...

Max Power said...

Hahaha. Anaheim is having a hard time getting rid of Mathieu Schneider(D). They might also be sending Bobby Ryan (#2Draft pick) packing. Am I alone in thinking that Selanne and Neidermayer aren't worth breaking the cap for?

Stilly said...


I think at this point, I'd take a promising developing youngster over a degenerating has been. I think they'll wind up giving Goligoski the nod. If it's not Gogo then maybe Richmond, but I don't know if I like the Orpik/Sydor pairing.

Chubs said...

This is the most preview ever.

I should probably catch up with family and friends, in less than two weeks I've got hockey starting, NFL (hey, Bills are 3-0...), college football (PSU 4-0), and baseball playoffs (for a bedtime story). It's the most wonderful time of the year...

[Recti Caputi]

threshhold9k said...

will have the game tonight. I just checked, you might have to adjust the time zones to make it show for the correct time. You'll at least need a VLC media player, maybe others as well to see the game.

Max Power said...

Penguins Lineup vs Toronto
2:04pm - Wednesday, September 24th, 2008 by depaoli
Penguins head coach Michel Therrien has announced the Penguins lineup for tonight. The Penguins will dress 12 Forwards and 6 defenseman. Dany Sabourin will start.
Forwards: Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Miroslav Satan, Rusland Fedotenko, Matt Cooke, Petr Sykora, Pascal Dupuis, Jeff Taffe, Max Talbot, Paul Bissonnette, Tyler Kennedy and Connor James
Defensemen: Brooks Orpik, Kris Letang, Alex Goligoski, Hal Gill, Mark Eaton and Darryl Sydor
Goaltenders Dany Sabourin and John Curry.
Projected Lines (Morning Skate)

Victor Raison said...

For what it's worth, Puck Daddy's Penguins preview is up.


BlacknGold66 said...

Just thinking about the BlueShirtBulletin dickweed makes my blood boil.

What a weenie.

In relation to the typo in the last post and the comments that followed it. (Not-too-mention "Chubs" just recently typing "That was the MOST preview ever.")

Check out this gem towards the bottom at "Grammar Fail of the Week."

What a classic....

Grammar Fail

bayonetwork said...

korn: how are you recording it if its not televised?

Wilson said...

Apologies in advance for a non-hockey related sports post:

Johnny Wrath,
Your summation of Rangers nailed it, viz:

"We also made a phone call and decided it was time to re-institute traditional Rangers trade negotiation tactics, namely, demanding that they give us their stars. We don't believe in developing our own players".

Sounds just like just about any other Spew York sports franchise to me... Was really saddened to hear about the Yankees painful elimination from the playoff picture (of course any Yankees news will be the lead story on Sportscenter)and awfully sorry I missed the Yankee stadium farewells. I guess Keith Olberdouche was there, so he couldn't broadcast football -to the delight of NFL
fans everywhere, but I digress again.

...and Raybin, you're still the man...

brndlynn said...

@ stilly: i wouldnt put Sydor and Orpik together either. I was just going on what I had heard about GoGo and whether or not he was ready to be one of the six. I'll be at the game tonight so I'll finally be able to judge for myself!

Korn said...

@bayonetwork: Game is televised tomorrow AM at 6:30. Will have to black out all Penguins news during the day tomorrow and watch it tomorrow evening.

@dr turk: Did you really steal my European Vacation reference from the EN comments? I demand attribution!

dying alive said...

Nicely done. And as an added bonus, you can re-use this same profile for the Flyers just by substituting the name "Bobby Clarke."

dirtyd said...

Why is Taffe guaranteed a roster spot? I don't think he should be. Why does it seem everyone is ok with Dupuis still being on the top line? He is a solid third line winger, like Kennedy. I hate that I feel alone on that point.

slush said...

FYI live stream of tonights game from the pens page.

I am going, but I know that listening has been awful. So there ya go.

Stilly said...


I see what you mean there. I heard that he could put on some more muscle, but with Whit and Gonch both injured, he might be the best offensive replacement. Have fun at the game tonight. I look forward to impressions of the team from the cbloggers in attendance.


I think the impression that people are getting from camp is that Taffe has upped his game. I guess we'll see. As far as Dupuis is concerned, I don't see anybody who is head and shoulders above Dupuis unless you take someone off the second line. I think Jesse Marshall had mentioned here last week that Dups' speed and work along the boards were pretty solid.

sh0ez said...

slush beat me to it, but there will be a live streaming raw feed from the jumbotron on the Pens website tonight. The catch is that it's only for those of us in the Pittsburgh area because the NHL is lame. If you aren't in the 'Burgh area or the feed just doesn't work for you, there is a streaming broadcast of it at this site. I think it's the TSN broadcast from Canada. Enjoy and Let's Go Pens!

meecrofilm said...

Rangers are gonna struggle big time this year. a big 'HAH' to that. they need double j.

Dr. Turkleton said...


I just read EN + comments...HA!
Timing is everything, eh?....and YOUR EV reference???? looks like Disgruntled Goat would claim that prize!!! :)

BNG changes his FF Team name more often than his skidmarked undies...are you wearing undies again?, or still going Comando!™ + Lovin' Every Minute Of It!!!!

Dups' speed and work along the boards were pretty solid.

agreed. but, judging from Saturday Nights tilt...he's in Fata/Koltsov form as far as 'scoring/finishing' IS still preseason, so I'll give him a bit of a break!


J.S. said...

the good doctor says that there's a report that erik johnson may have been playing golf cart polo.

uhhhh, oops.

Help Me Rhonda said...

THE GAME: The Pens' console has it tonight.

fleuryous said...

It said on the jumbo tonight that Shanahan chose not to attend a Rangers' practice, or something along those lines.

Maybe he's sick of the Rangers too. hahah

fleuryous said...

Also, I think an Orpik/Letang pairing or an Orpik/Eaton pairing would be so boss.

Orpik, Letang, and Eaton were cleaning up tonight.

RAKING THE LEAFS, so to speak. haha


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