Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Viva La Douche

Our new friends at [ Carolina On Ice ] sent us our new favorite site.

We are proud to bring you:

[ Hot Chicks With Douchebags ]

This is one of the best sites on Al Gore's internet:


Dear god


Sunglasses sale at Target.


The guy on the left just moved into our top 15 of people we'd love to sucker punch.


Wooooowwwwwww
Top ten shirt slogans of all time?

Stunned

Last one?

Is that Rufio?



::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


:: On Sunday, [ Going Five Hole ] discovered a nice gem in a Matthew Barnaby interview over at [ LCS Hockey ]. Barnaby was going to ESPN's lair to interview for the position vacated by Barry Melrose now that he's running the circus down in Tampa Bay.
The interview was from last Thursday, the 24th.

If it sounds familiar, it's because we linked to it yesterday.
As did [ Barry Melrose Rocks ], [ Puck Daddy ], [ Awful Announcing ], [ Sports by Brooks ], Newsday's [ Watchdog ] and no doubt a slew of other places.

All linking back to Going Five Hole.

Then yesterday afternoon, The Insider on Pittsburgh Sports, citing what else but their
anonymous inside source, broke the news that Matthew Barnaby was interviewing with ESPN to replace Barry Melrose.

Well, today we are prepared to out TIOPS' deep inside source.
The Google.


Has TIOPS just been Gwned?

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[TampaBayR.png]
The Lightning signed first-round draft pick Steve Stamkos to a 3-year contract at the entry-level max, $875,000. But he can make up to $8.55 in performance bonuses. [ Bolts Report ]


Jay Bouwmeester and the Panthers avoided arbitration with a 1 year, $4.875 deal. The single-year contract allows Bouwmeester to be a UFA July 1st 2009. [ Miami Herald ]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It's been all but confirmed that the Penguins' 3rd jersey will be the powder-blue threads they donned for the Winter Classic, but we're always up for concept designs. If only because they give us something to do during July when news slows to a crawl and we have to pretend to care about Mats Sundin.



:: Speaking of uniforms and crap, here is the Pens' enormous vector logo. [ Here ]


:: Voting should commence sometime Tuesday. [ Icethetics ]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Game # 34

[<span class=[pit.<span class=
4-2

We always hear those stories of people going into someone else's house and peeing everywhere.
That was this game.

Halfway through doing the recap, we read through it and realized that we're tired of reading and writing about the Islanders/Pens games.

If you're upset at us for not producing a recap,
you may need to reassess everything going on in your life.

We've spent money during Christmas, and we are already depressed because of it.

You ever wake up one morning and wish you were on the cast of Heroes?

That happened to both of us Saturday morning.
If this blog had a coach, we would have been sitting in the press box watching some third-liner bang out a mediocre recap.

Apologies,

Derek, Adam, Marty the chicken, Charlie

We'll be full-throttle for Sunday's game.

In case you wanted to see it.
Here is the recap as we had it started in the pre-draft.
It is bad.
....................................................................
[<span class=[pit.<span class=
4-2


Got to get back on the horse on Sunday.


The Islanders are dead last in the NHL in goals scored in the first period.

30 seconds in.

Goalblog.
Satan lives.
1-0

Everyone has recover for a little bit. Sabu tries to get himself back into the game.

Gary Roberts stares at some dude for the Isles.
He falls.

Pretty much nothing happens until BGL-Roberts-EC came out.
BGL goes into his office.

Passes to Roberts.
Roberts wraps around.
EC picks up the trash.

1-1

..........................
Roberts 900th point
Standing O
............................

The goal unites the Pens.
Some moron takes a penalty.
Ricky D says go away.

*need photoshop.
Maybe Ricky D in an Emo band?



Bruno Homo flicks it over the glass.

The Pens try to decline the Pentaly. No dice.

Just when it looks like another Powerplay will fail. Andy Sutton and Ricky D give Staal an early Christmas present.



2-1


Mike comeri sucks. Mark Eaton owns him.


**Photo shop of Eaton plowing Duff?***

Phil Borque brings up a good point.
Comire brought his girfriend Hillary Duff a 100,000 car for her B-day.
He is stressed out over Christmas.

4 on 2 for the Isles.

Gasp Andy Hilbert.
Goal
2-2


Malking and Crosby almost bring down the house.
Best combo since....


JFK takes a four minute major

Sabu

Shit.


Peace

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[Picture+3.<span class=



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::




::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


[Michael W]

"Pittsburgh has a great team, great people, great organization. I had to compare the two teams, and there's a little better chance to win the Cup in Detroit. I had a great time with Sid and playing on the power play with Geno [Evgeni Malkin], but the team in Detroit is something special. I know it's a short term, but we never talked about a one-year [deal] with Pittsburgh. We just talked about a long-term deal. I totally believe Detroit has the kind of team that can win it again."

--Hossa 3:16--

Go Pens

314 comments:

canaan said...

woooO!

Josh Melvin said...

seeecond.

canaan said...

im honored to have a first on a post entitled "viva la douche"

shawnawwwesome said...

4st!

That dickhead in the first pic is the love child of Siegfried and Roy, and maybe one of the tigers also.

And the hotness of some of those chicks is debatable.

Josh Melvin said...

I like how orange the one guys face is compared to what he's showing underneath his shirt.

sh0ez said...

Staff: You can post those concepts I made and sent you awhile back!

brndlynn said...

and i thought the guys in south side were bad. geez.
that last one has to be rufio. theres no doubt in my mind.

did anyone else think #3 looked oddly like charlie? could we have found the man behind the myth?

and finally...going five hole also found the TIOPS "source" comical. he wrote something about it on his facebook. lol.

meecrofilm said...

"**Photo shop of Eaton plowing Duff?***"

hahaha. That made me crack up. The one with her eating dog food on the beach is pretty good though as well, and family friendly!!

That site is amazing. Altho in the end it just makes you angry that there are so many douchebags in the world, and so very little you can do about it. But that's why Al Gore invented the internet. "The internet: A place for Jobbing."

snickerdoodles said...

Where do they find these guys? Is there a douchebag store? Do you take out an ad? How did Mr. ManTan in the first photo not notice his face does not match the rest of him? Are these the rejects that didn't make the Redwings? Do these pictures qualify as Nightmare Fuel? Is it still July???

TPSB Writer said...

that TIOPS thing made me laugh. he is like the guy from hockeybuzz. 1/2 the stuff he says is not true, the other 1/2 he gets from other websites.

Julia said...

is it sad that reading pensblog is the highlight of my day?

PittHockey said...

wooo vector logo

J.S. said...

and it took me all of .5 seconds to notice that all of those d-bags have the same expression. I'm trying to think of a way to describe it, but it's beyond words. It's not the Jager face. It's not the expression you get when you drink lemon juice, or even the expression when you accidentally pick up that ice tea carton that was used as somebody else's spitter.

Anyways, not that I'm an advocate of sucker-punching people, but if somebody were to sucker-punch any of these guys (preferably all of them), I'd totally understand and might even appalaud them for doing it.

Re: dude in the first pic. I'm wondering if Crayola carries that shade of orange in their 64 pack.

J.S. said...

one last entry for the Bettman contest, unless I think of something else (probably my favorite so far)

Tony Little said...

Fedko Facebook groups... seriously?


http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2205160172


http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2241496432

J.S. said...

am I the only one awake?

wilsmith said...

I remember this game because I was there and, as I mentioned before, they ALWAYS LOSE TO THE ISLANDERS.

If I remember correctly, this brings on bunch of winning.

Then they lose again when I make it to another game in January and Sid breaks himself.

rcp5029 said...

HCwDB is arguably the greatest site on the internets.

Raybin said...

RUFIO!

RUFIO!

RUUUUU

FIII

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

And, yeah, that's all I got. To hell with the Islanders and DiPiejoke.

J.S. said...

wil, you're right. without going too deep into details, if staff is going these games in order, we should be expecting at least a week's worth of winning recaps including the winter classic.

Matt said...

One thing of note about the game in the recap:

I remember watching it on FSN Pittsburgh right before driving home for Xmas break last year. Satan gets an assist, and FSN brings up his point total:

666.

Since he scored it in Mellon Arena, it must have been an omen of Satan's coming.

Dan said...

if i ever turn out like that, i have given my friends instructions.

bullet.
gun.
load.
aim at head.
pull the trigger.

dying alive said...

Games vs. the Isles make me cry. They're always so boring, and somehow, no matter how bad the Isles are, the Pens always end up losing. It's like Groundhog Day.

Housekeeping items, since I haven't had much time lately:

* Solid Budnick reference/photo.
* The Gary Bettman photoshops are hilarious.
* Regarding the mentally challenged kid a few days ago: now I feel like shit for laughing, but +1 to the hellbound list. The first thought I had when I read that post was, "That explains why he thinks that hanging out with Kid Rock is cool."
* Once we finally get through July, we still have to make it through August. It's rare occasions like this I wish I owned a handgun.

dying alive said...

Oh, and about the douchebags: as a woman, I can't believe that there are women out there who actually find these guys hot. I don't think I could avoid either laughing in their faces or blowing my cookies all over them if I saw them in public. Possibly both.

And yes, I also noticed the stunning resemblance of the guy in the third photo to Charlie.

Jawsh said...

No, he is not Rufio, he is a douchebag, Rufio is awesome.


Looky looky I got hooky.

Original Nathan said...

Aw, come on, in August we have the annual Pirates folding of the tents and going home and Steelers' training camp in full swing!

Okay, fine. Without my birthday (same day as Sid's -- I'm six years older), August would be the worst month ever.

blufftalk said...

  Me = honored.

penstone410 said...

shouldnt it be idiotic chicks and douchbags? the girls are just as rediculous for taking photos and associating themselves with those guys..


i have come to the conclusion july will NEVER end

J.S. said...

and we have talk about how fat Hampton is. I thought the Pirates folded the tents about 2 weeks ago, or officially folded last week when they traded Nady and Marte.

If I go out, I usually keep myself limited to one or two places. The one that I usually go to - it's about a 90/10 split between spots 1 and 2 - there's a few d-bags that could probably make the site. None of them have that oompa-loompa color to them, or at least not yet. I'm still waiting for 4 popped-collar fratboy douchebag to come in.

Dan said...

i will be drunk all day next thursday, at the beach, in honor of hockey jesus

dying alive said...

The Pirates traded Nady? Let me guess...they gave him away for a bag of pucks and a couple of prospects that will never do better than AA?

Dan said...

d.a. - the simple answer, yes.

Tony Little said...

Pesonen Video, watch right after the 1:40 mark...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onj5vY_-oNk

J.S. said...

I think the trade was two double A guys who will only see the big club if they buy a ticket in the 300 level, a malcontent outfielder, a prospect who is out for the season, a grab bag of leftover souvenirs from this month's all star game, and a vendor to be named later.

Am I close?

P.O. said...

ive been reading hot chicks with douchebags for about a year now and it is hilarious.. you could easily lose a day of your life reading through that site... two weeks ago i got the book he wrote (aptly titled "Hot Chicks With Douchebags") but i havent read it yet

another gem of a website is http://www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
high comedy

Original Nathan said...

Ah, Ron Cook and his Captain Obvious column headline: "Roethlisberger will drive Steelers' success".

You think so, doctor? I can't wait for his Penguins preview column "Crosby, Fleury keys to Penguins' success".

Lunatic Fringe said...

Gwned!

Roflcopters and Lollerskates!

That made my day, great stuff guys.

Jo L Cash said...

Whoa, orange people!

Why didn't someone tell me that Pittsburgh South has the most awesome flash intro ever?! I don't doubt their legitimacy.

P.O. said...

hockeybay, usa

interesting... (gay)

Original Nathan said...

Count me in with this group.

Of course, part of the reason I bought my package was to make sure I'd have tickets to both Penguins games this season. The other nine games are a bonus.

Dan said...

hmm, the tampa bay penguins logo we made never did get posted..........

Original Nathan said...

There's one small factual error in that article, though. The Caps offered the 11-game package last season too. The Weekender package is new, however.

Flyer Hater said...

The Islanders should have been outlawed in the new CBA.

Original Nathan said...

The release of the Caps' season schedule was a boost to sales as well, team officials said.

That's because partial-season packages weren't available before the schedule's release. Prior to that point, the only packages the Caps were selling were full season.

Max Power said...

I bet you almost (save Ruffio) all of those guys were from New Dirty.

Has the NHL foregone the salary cap for Tampon Bay?

CALL TO ARMS! Anyone living in Pittsburgh please sign up for the Whiskey Rebelion. Remember, only you can help prevent sobriety. SAVE OUR BOOSE SAVE OUR BOOSE SAVE OUR BOOSE!

@ brndlynn

Hey, I live in the South Side!

snickerdoodles said...

Here I am lurking when I should be working. The Douchebags on Parade are just as scary now as when I saw them last night. Or earlier this morning. I wonder if Mr. ManTan knows that his coloring is not found in people. In carrots, oranges, and flowers but people? Maybe he is a really tall oompa loompa.

jai20 said...

Sorry I didn't know about your vector logo project earlier. This may have saved a few dozen hours

http://www.sports-logos-screensavers.com/Vectors.html

Victor Raison said...

"A whole team of Brett Favres." = John Madden's wet dream.

Also, who is the girl in the morning briefing video.

Daymn.

Dan said...

boston lost title town to some little shit town in georgia, HAHAHAHAHAHA

Dan said...

max - i see whiskey, i am intrigued. info please.

Dan said...

another reason wvu blows

RaCHeLeYoS said...

sigh. i remember this game because aftr we lost, i stood outside in the freezing cold to wish the players a merry christmas....to which they didn't really reply because they were in a bad mood. but i do remember mike yeo responding :-)

Max Power said...

@ dan

The Whiskey Rebellion is a large resistance group against the drink tax in Allegheny County. We generate petitions and try to fight the drink tax. I personally have set up a savings account to combat any attempt by that ball tasting child toucher Onaroto to run for govenor. The drink tax is bullshit. Fuck public transportation. 10% on every drink I buy at a pub/restaraunt! What madness is this! On top of the drink tax being used to fund PAT, I still have to wait a maf'in half hour to catch the T during miday while just riding to downtown destinationsI'm an American god damn it! I:
1: Shouldn't have to pay for gas
2: Be able to smoke where ever I want
3: Be able to drink where ever I want
4: Urinate in public
5: Punch the homeless
6: Get free bacon atleast 3 times a week
7: Purchase alcohol 24/7/365
8: Shouldn't have to pay for donuts
9: Fornicate where I please
10: Not have to wait for fucking ever to watch a hockey game!

Dan said...

max - i completely agree, especially punching the homeless/hobos. i can't wait for him to run and lose actually, no one in western pa will vote for him. if PAT needs money, let the people who use it pay for it. or tell PAT to get a job that pays better, that's what i tell my sister all the time. i also feel it should rain peanut butter m & m's.

BlacknGold66 said...

-I can't believe you guys posted pictures of me flexing with my orange skin bro? What the fuck bro? Totally uncool bro. Eff this place bro... I need another Red Bull and vodka. Skanks!

-Actually, I posted about that website a few weeks ago. I'm not taking credit for finding it here... I'm just glad the word is being spread. HCwDB is to us now what Mulletsgalore.com was to us then.

Which come to think of it... Do the guys in the pics on HCwDB know that they look ridiculous?

There are still people out there that don't get the joke about mulletsgalore yet either (See: suburbs of Pittsburgh/Southern Suburbs of Cleveland. PARMA *cough*)

-Promoblog from yesterday (which ties into the Islanders talk from today):

I mentioned something about the Islanders and Wendy's chili last night.

Well, I stumbled across this Free Chili!

Word.

Flyer Hater said...

That website is full of future Paul Alexanders.

Max Power said...

@ dan

Agreed, penutbutter M&Ms = crazy delicious

Also ever 2nd Tuesday everyone should get a bag of their favorite flavor of Doritos

Max Power said...

every, sorry I've been drinking.

UH60autorot8r said...

The Penguins concept jersey design would be sweet, but could you replace the gold with the original Penguins blue and see how that looks?

Max Power said...

Cblog = slower than my retarded cousin

J.S. said...

sh0ez, if you're around, here ya go:

750 GB HDD, 89.99 shipped

J.S. said...

c-blog, still slower than Derian Hatcher after 5 OTs

Natalie said...

@bng - Yeaaaah, Pittsburgh suburbs haven't quite left 1986 as far as hair is concerned. Most of these people really do still want to look like John Stamos in his Full House days. It's really quite depressing that these people actually go to salons and ASK for these hairstyles.

Only they aren't "mullets," oh no no, they're "feathered."

I hate my job sometimes.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

This may be one of the top sites on Gore for this paragraph alone:

When hott and scrote come together, it is worse than when Zuul and Vinz Clortho unlocked the hellfires of Gozer the Destroyer. When perfectly formed boobie suckle thigh and rank smelling Axe Body Spray chest shaving tool conjoin, it is a rip in the collective fabric of universal hope and transcendence.

Douchebags are an epidemic.

Has any petition in history ever done anything? Maybe next time register to vote the right people into office.

J.S. said...

max, just tell me your cousin hasn't been in any pics with Kid Rock and Kris Draper.

speaking of mullets, I gotta give canaan the JS seal of approval for that 1993 Straka card. That mullet is HOF material.

Dan said...

i'm waiting for lloyd kaufman to make "night of the living guidos"

J.S. said...

ok, I'll admit it, I joined the "John Fedko is fuckin awesome" facebook group.

I thought it was a joke at first, but Brandy told me it's for real. I'm just curious what is actually said and why he's "fuckin awesome". If it's dead within a week or so, I'll eject from it.

Should I at least post one of the old Gary Roberts videos on the wall?

Max Power said...

I do vote and we have people lobbying in the city council. Atleast I'm proactive. What are you doing, besides being a negative nancy.

@ j.s.

No, my cousin is normally chained to the shed where he enjoys his delicious bucket o' fish heads

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Wow ... I think a few of their tans burned my eyes ... way too much, guys. The guy in the first picture seems entertained with touching himself more than the girls ... do these people know they are on this site? They are probably too busy getting tans, weight-lifting, using steriods, and failing 3rd grade level math to use the computer.

@J.S.: Do it! People actually like him?

@Dan: You made Ryan Whitney cry because you made fun of Boston. Dr. Turk might need to step in ...

Max Power said...

PESO, me say PPPPPEEEEEESO, Pesonen come and da goalie wanna go home. Say 6 shot 7 shot 8 shot GOAL! Pesonen come and da goalie wanna go home.

Dan said...

grizzly adams will get over it. down with bahstahn!

Dan said...

i think people should have to take an aptitude test before being allowed to vote. the stupid shit that comes out of people's mouths sometimes.........

or just let max decide everything

Maria said...

Hot chicks with douchebags could entertain me for hours. It's like a never-ending frat party.

Max Power said...

@ dan

Agreed. I couldn't do a worse job than what the farce of a city council is doing.

Sinops said...

Anyone remember the Scrubs with the old orange dude? Maybe these douchebags really like tomatoes and carrot juice.

Dan said...

maria - that was the greatest wall post i have ever seen. bravo!

Maria said...

Dan- Yeah, I don't remember doing that. Consider yourself lucky that I don't have your phone number. Otherwise you would have got a phone call from a drunk girl who was very excited about a midget and creeped out by some tall chick who thought we were best friends.

Dan said...

hahahaha well most of the time i shut my phone off at night, although drunken phone calls are the best. i really don't know which part i laughed at the most hahahaha. sounds like you went from one extreme to the other. i am going to work the term "foodnight" into my vocabulary.

I Have Kasparaitis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tony Little said...

Pens/Wild Center Ice Tourny is up. It's pretty close so far.

Max Power said...

@ maria

I take it you made it to Casey's?

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Bettman Photoshops

Dan said...

max - she did, and the results were hilarious. i'm proud of her.

Donnie Shulzhoffer said...

Mark Parrish put on waivers by the wild (Kuklas). Is this a guy worth taking a stab at?

Maria said...

Oh yes I did Max. And it was glorious. I made a new tall friend, got rather drunk, and then told Dan foodnight. I had a lot of fun. My boyfriend, on the other hand, wouldn't get near the bar. He doesn't realize what he missed out on.

Maria said...

Awe Dan thanks for being proud of my drunk ass! hahah

Max Power said...

Did you dunk the midget?

Maria said...

I'm not sure what dunk the midget means, so I'm gonna say no.

Dan said...

anytime! how i miss college (and i haven't even been out for 2 years).....

good ol' antoons and mckee, and i didn't even go to oakland

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Donnie: Parrish is a lot like Ryan Malone as in power forward. He's smaller and a bit older though so he might not be as effective for us. Also he has had quite a few lower body injures. I don't really think he's worth it right now.

Maria said...

I got Antoon's last night! It's the perfect drunk food. I actually live on McKee haha. I can't wait until classes start again and I can sit on my roof and watch the freshmen stumble back to Towers in groups of ten or more. Ah, freshmen. College's comic relief.

Nick Saia (usa) said...

sweet, my bravehaert bettman made it up...

Dan said...

towers - the beacon of drunkenness in oakland. the best part about antoons is that you think it's the best pizza in the world when you're drunken. my friends used to live in 358, i was drunk there, a lot. the alley in between the buildings came in handy a lot too.

Dan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Max Power said...

Up on the roof/deck they have a dunk tank that you can dunk manboy like an oreo. A short nubbly little oreo.

Maria said...

Max- I didn't see that. Damn. That could have been the icing on the midget cake. Oh well, maybe next time. Because there will be a next time.

Tony Little said...

@ UH60autorot8r

I made the Pens concept Jersey into Winter Classic Blue...

http://tonylittle.blogspot.com/

Victor Raison said...

The Bettman/"300" photoshop is money, even if it is from an Islanders fan.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Tony Little: I can't view your link ...

Victor Raison said...

ihk:

...that's what she said.

Maria said...

I personally like Bettman as Marilyn Monroe.

Pops Freshenmeyer said...

I think Parrish might be a better investment than Glen Murray. Parrish had a great deal of success playing with some crappier players than Joe Thornton during his time on the Island. Once again, though, wait until he gets bought out before signing him, otherwise you're on the hook for his entire salary.

And I think it's time for a new name for myself. And so it shall be.

Dan said...

mmmmmmmmmmmm midget cake

wilsmith said...

You guys can make fun of the DB's all you want, but dont forget the first part of the web site's name is "Hot chicks with".

Meanwhile, we're making fun of them on the internets.

anyway, I had a friend of a friend in college who was like those guys. They really dont see whats wrong. they think it's normal.

MAH! WHERES THE PROTEIN!?

Maria said...

wilsmith, JAGERBOMBS. Fuckin' skanks.

dan, when I get home from work tonight I'm making a midget cake. Once I figure out what exactly a midget cake is.

Max Power said...

midget pot pit

Max Power said...

that's midget pot pie. Drinking on the job is starting to affect my performance.

Dan said...

max - so you're actually doing work since drinking?

maria - ingredients - 1 midget, pie crust, whipped cream, chocolate, cherries (fake ones, preferably)

Maria said...

Dan, I'm going to have to add some rum to that recipie. Midget rum cake. Yum. And don't forget the heaping spoonful of love.

Dan said...

rum = yum

the heaping spoonful of love will offset the hate they exude. god hates midgets, that's why he didn't make them full size.

Max Power said...

@ dan

I didn't start drinking until I got in to my office

@ Maria

1 pie crust
3 cups of sugar (its a well known scientific fact that midgets have a bitter taste. Theory goes that its from being bitter with the life that they've been given. The bitternes permeates through them.)
4 cups of berries (mixed)
1 machette
1 razor
1 saw
1 really good pair of hedge clippers
1 blender
1 midget (60 - 100lbs precooked weight)
1 container cool whip
-----------------------------------
Shave the midget. Chop it in to 1 inch pieces making sure that there's no bones. Place midget meat, berries and sugar in blender. Blend until consistant. Fill pie crust with berry midget filling. Place on center rack uncovered at 400 degrees farenheit for 45 minutes uncovered. Let cool and top with cool whip.

Makes 6-8 servings.

Maria said...

Max- man, your mind is an interesting place. Thanks for the recipie. I'm going to be the Mrs. Lovett of Oakland. (Sweeney Todd anyone? Any other theater geeks here? haha)

Dan- I feel like I need to be a midget mercenary and tell them that Jesus loves them too. I just got an excellent idea. I want to start a midget hockey team. They can play over the summer so I'll have something to watch during the NHL offseason.

J.S. said...

midgets: nature's little snacks?

Dan said...

midget hockey? that would be the cutest thing ever!!!!

Max Power said...

Midget hockey? It would have to be deck hockey. Midgets are affraid of ice.

Maria said...

Deck hockey would work. That's what I used to play. I'm not so good on ice, so coaching a midget ice hockey team wouldn't work out so well.

Midget hockey makes me think of Timbits. SO CUTE!

shawnawwwesome said...

Mercenary or missionary?

One's a better position than the other.

akus said...

The way Fox News is "reporting" You would think L.A-Hollywood/Disney fell into the ocean during the earthquake.

Really would anyone notice?
____


This would be a nice promo for a Pens game;

Pittsburgh Penguins NHL 31oz Glass Candy Jar.
It's on Ebay



* I gotta practice the linkie lou's*

Flyer Hater said...

BALLS

Maria said...

shawnawwwesome, yeah, I meant missionary. But since this is all regarding midgets, let's not talk about which position is better. Midget sex creeps me out. I know they need their lovin' too, but I'd prefer if they would keep it to themselves.

P.O. said...

you've all got problems with your midget obsessions

Max Power said...

Midget sex is awesome. You just have her stick her legs out and you just keep spinning her like a top!

Maria said...

max.

Oh. My. God. It's going to take weeks to get that image out of my mind.

Max Power said...

Your welcome.

J.S. said...

rest of c-blog = stunned

Dan said...

max - why do i get the idea sean avery would enjoy that activity?

Maria said...

j.s., stunned doesn't even begin to cover it.

Max Power said...

What? Like any of you haven't thought about it! Sure make good old Max look like some deranged midget f'er.

Tony Little said...

@ IHK

http://tonylittle.blogspot.com

Maria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan said...

now that i think about it, did tpb ever really sign anyone during the offseason? can't believe they never got batman

Maria said...

I'm a little miffed that they couldn't sign Stamos.

Stamos' mullet>Batman
just sayin'

Dan said...

have mercy! take that back, batman owns all!

sh0ez said...

j.s.: I was at work, so I didn't see it. That was an internal. I need an external. I have no more room in my actual case. Though, I have heard the Barracuda's are nice.

You watching Woot TV? Ha ha. Something to pass the time.

snickerdoodles said...

@akus,
I would notice. I like LA, Hollywood, and Disneyland. But you are right about the news and their heavy handed broadcasting. They cant just tell about the quake. They must beat it into your head with a sledgehammer.

Maria said...

@ Dan- No, Stamos as Batman owns all. Bob Saget can be Robin.

sh0ez said...

My Scarface made first pic on one of the Puck Daddy Bettman posts! Wooooo!

And I get my jersey in about an hour!

Dan said...

saget as robin hahahaha

time to go home, and finally watch the venture bros. and finish cleaning my car for vacation. maybe nap too.

shoez - what did you get?

jefe penguino said...

darnit i think im late to the midget party.

maybe tPB can sign Weeman. then create a hot chicks with midgets site..

meecrofilm said...

Stamos as Batman and Bob Saget as Robin? I'd see that movie in a heartbeat! Pure gold.

meecrofilm said...

OH, and somebody needs to start photoshopping Ron Newcomer over some of the Douche's faces. He needs some hot chick love.

hockeyfan0012 said...

hot chicks with douchebags = solid

Max Power said...

Saget would have to act in his true form like in the Aristocrats.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

The dan/maria/maxpower show sucks. Where's the remote...

And max, it took a tax on alcohol to make you proactive in government? Outstanding.

P.O. said...

id rather tax tourists/college kids booze than raise my property taxes even more... is an extra $0.10 per PBR Draft at Cumpie's really going to stop anyone from drinking?? hasnt yet

Maria said...

I love that Bob Saget went from Danny Tanner to this.

Someone please make me a Stamos/Saget as Batman and Robin photoshop. I'd do it myself but quite frankly I suck.

@ jefe, you're never too late to the midget party. I'm sure Max would be more than happy to start it up again.

sh0ez said...

@ dan: I assume you mean jersey?

I got a Pronovost '77 jersey.

Max Power said...

I've been registered to vote since I turned 18. I never miss an election. Nice attempt to job. How's the weather up on your pedestal?

stokes said...

I will not visit that website for fear of my computer crashing or me wanting to kill people.


I talked to my inside source and he said that the third jerseys were in and had already been sent to get lettered. this was two weeks ago. i don't know why i didn't say anything earlier. My source is NOT Google and pretty friggin' reliable.

Dr. Turkleton said...

p.o.

id rather tax tourists/college kids booze than raise my property taxes even more...

ARE YOU INSANE!!!!

...why tax a voluntary activity when they could increase Property Tax as an incentive to entice more peeps to live/stay in the City of PGH / Allegheny Co.??? [/O.D. on sarcasma]

sh0ez said...

@ maria: Saget and Stamos as Batman and Robin.

P.O. said...

dr turk

sarcasim noticed and appriciated

sh0ez said...

Jersey was delivered. Gotta go pick it up. I'll let everyone know how it is!

Maria said...

sh0ez, that photoshop=clutch. Hello new cell phone background. And take pictures of your jersey! I wanna see it.

Pops Freshenmeyer said...

id rather tax tourists/college kids booze than raise my property taxes even more... is an extra $0.10 per PBR Draft at Cumpie's really going to stop anyone from drinking?? hasnt yet

It's like why raising the gas tax in Virginia would've made the most sense to make up the transportation budget shortfall. You use our roads, you help pay to maintain our roads.

The proposed increase was 6 cents (total) over 6 years. The Republicans shot it down. Because god forbid you'd have to pay an extra $7.50 per year for gas.

Goddamn, I wish we could sell western Virginia.

Max Power said...

They don't have to raise property taxes. They don't have to tax my boose. They could simply raise fairs and prices of passes. I don't take public transportation. Why not make the people who use it pay for it themselves. This has been the result of years of gross neglegence and mishandling of funds. Then you have people still voting for these vampires and just perpetuating an already bad situation. Shananagans!

J.S. said...

sh0ez, couldn't you part out the case of the dead drive? I'm not sure of what external you have, but I've heard of people doing it. What the condition of the case looks like might be another story.

baaaaaaaahahaha, Donaghy is going to the hole for that gambling thing in the NBA. I'm sure in a few days, he'll be the hole. 15 months isn't nearly enough through.

From what I heard about Saget, his personality even before Danny Tanner was probably the furthest thing from his character. Anybody who has seen Half-Baked has probably seen this clip

eileenover said...

Hi c-blog. Have I missed anything interesting?

Pops Freshenmeyer said...

Hi c-blog. Have I missed anything interesting?

It's late July, so no.

Pops Freshenmeyer said...

Eileen, have I ever mentioned how jealous I am of your avatar photo? Ron Francis is my favorite player of all time; I have a Francis Leafs jersey for fuck's sake.

eileenover said...

Everyone's jealous =)

KaylaJ said...

orange people site should be renamed oompa loompas with morons who would pose with them. pretty or not, those girls are short a few brain cells that should be telling them to run!

and since i have nothing to say about midgets, i'll just ask, is it august yet?

Flyer Hater said...

I have like 5 Ron Francis Jerseys.

Pops Freshenmeyer said...

I have three. Two Hurricanes jerseys (white #21 and red #10) and the aforementioned Leafs jersey.

One of these days I'm going to pony up the $150 and get a 1992 Penguins version.

Flyer Hater said...

Breaking News:

Sepulvoda just died, funeral to be held on Thursday.

sh0ez said...

The jersey is amazing. They did great work on the stitching and such. The only complaint I can see is the black stitching on the logo is a bit thick. It kind of takes away some of his more pissed off eyebrow in the old school logo. Other than that, superb.

Cool Hockey

Check the prices. I got this jersey for $130 shipped from Canada. I used a coupon for 11% off. Sometimes with the shipping costs ($18 always, though there is a coupon to get free shipping but it nixes the 11% code so you need to see which saves you more) it could cost a little more than NHL Shop or something. Just compare prices. This place is pretty sweet, though. Pics coming in a minute.

eileenover said...

I'm glad to hear the jersey turned out well sh0ez!

sh0ez said...

@ j.s.: I transferred most of the stuff from the drive to my other external. I found a program that scans the corrupted partition and attempts to save files. Luckily, all have worked so far. I still have 80GB to transfer, however I have no more room on either my external or internal. Either way, I want another just in case this happens again. My other drive is the same as the bad one, I just didn't use it for a while.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

I guess i'll just...easy does it...get down off of this pedestal.

At least there's something you're passionate about, although I can care less if they tax the drunks. So expect a jobbing when you bring your petition around here. And it warms my heart that i play a small part in defending our country so fratboys like you can "piss where you want".

Your cause is a joke. Good luck with that.

jefe penguino said...

@maria

way late again, but i kept Stamos and Saget in masks to keep anonymity.

and couldnt leave Coulier out on this fun either.

[cut. it. out.]

sh0ez said...

Here are pics of the jersey:

The Tag.

The Collar.

The Letters.

The 'C' Patch.

The Number Stitching.

The Penguin Head Crest.

The Back of the Jersey.

The Front of the Jersey.

Woo. Enjoy!

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

Sweet jersey, shoez, and thanks for the info. Pronovost was a good choice.

eileenover said...

That looks great sh0ez!

sh0ez said...

Thanks! It will be at Primantisblog for sure. I will take it off while eating of course!

jefe penguino said...

cool sh0ez. i may have to pony up for a jersey this season. ill have to see what my credit card says tho.

eileenover said...

I decided I'm definitely getting a practice jersey, and then a game one sometime during the season.

sh0ez said...

Do it, jefe and eileen!

jefe penguino said...

i bought the black practice jersey before last season. but im thirsty for more!

Dr. Turkleton said...

sh0ez...

J.P. sweater = Billy Dee Williams smoooooth

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

I'm kind of ashamed at myself...i think i'm gonna go sit in the corner for awhile.

sh0ez said...

Ha ha Turk. Amazing.

Dr. Turkleton said...

sh0ez...

I MEANT as smooooth as Lando Calrissian!

HA!

brndlynn said...

i always miss the midget talk :(

drinktaxblog: coincidentally i was out drinking with a politician this past weekend and we had a long talk about this. he voted against the tax and is working to revoke it. i learned a few things.
1. they absolutely do not have to raise property taxes if they revoke the tax. this is a scare tactic that is working wonders to get people to vote no.
2. they didnt have to bring about the drink tax in order to save PAT. they have alot of extra money in the budget right now that they are still trying to figure out what to do with. drink tax was another scare tactic there as well.
3. there are some **cough**Onarato**cough** politicians who are actually having brain storming sessions on how to keep people scared and prevent them from getting this info.
just passing it on.

debrisslide said...

A bunch of my friends have turned 21/will turn 21 within the next few days. I'm only 17 so I am left out of the festivities. I guess that means. . .more time to cblog and play Tetris. . .

eileenover said...

Jerseyblog- I have no idea what size to get.

sh0ez said...

@ eileen: I got my normal t-shirt size. It fits nice and big. That's how I like jerseys. So maybe a step down from your normal size if you want it more snug?

eileenover said...

Well the medium t-shirts are huge on me, so I guess I should get a small.

sh0ez said...

Maybe try on a jersey at a store first? Just to be sure?

eileenover said...

Yeah that would be a good idea.

KaylaJ said...

eileen if you're lucky maybe you can get a kids jersey, they can sometimes be cheaper

eileenover said...

I already have a kids jersey, but I don't like how the sleeves are short. The practice jerseys are a lot cheaper than regular ones anyway, especially since I'm not getting it customized.

Colin said...

30 seconds in.

Goalblog.
Satan lives.


Do it.

Maria said...

sh0ez, I'm so jealous of your jersey. It looks amazing!

sh0ez said...

Thanks, maria! Ha ha. I'm so stoked about it.

akus said...

Agreed on the jersey Sh0ez, seeing that brings back lots of memories.

The Century Line.
( Apps, Pronovost, MacDonald)

Good ole Lowell

__

I was looking at top-ten point-scorers in franchise history.

Here is a name You don't hear all the time.

#10)Ron Shock.

brndlynn said...

@ sh0ez: i completely forgot to tell you. that Fedko you found is the same one.

Flyer Hater said...

I'm currently bidding for a Lemieux jersey with the diagonal Pittsburgh. I loved those jerseys.

cardinals said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flyer Hater said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flyer Hater said...

Turn The

Disclaimer

We are in no way affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Pensblog uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey our criticism and inform the public.

Photos on The Pensblog are used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us (thepensblog@gmail.com) and we will be happy to oblige.

wooo