Thursday, July 24, 2008

July Refuses To End

It has been July 24 for at least three days.
At least once August gets here, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

We were all prepared to release a funny story, defaming E.J Hradek, but we aren't completely sold on it yet.

It isn't the best story, but it speaks to the potential of how big of a loser E.J. might be.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


What a dick.

No reason for this picture.
We are on a Nickelodeon kick.

David the Gnome might never come down.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::





[ Going Five Hole ]



The Bruins made a couple moves today, signing Dennis Wideman to a 4 year $15.5 million extension, and placing veteran Glen Murray on waivers. [ Wicked Bruins Fan ]

Apparently Murray will be bought out after clearing waivers, which we didn't even think was possible outside the June 15th to 30th buy out period. But it turns out you can do it a limited amount of times, so what the hell do we know.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The Gary Bettman photoshop contest continues over at [ Puck Daddy ] this week. Here's your chance to win some old crap that Greg was going to drop off at Goodwill anyways. All you have to do is make Bettman look heroic.

Easier said then done.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;

Besides having a ridiculously repetitive name, Fedor Fedorov also has to deal with being the younger brother of 3 time Stanley Cup Champion, 6 time All-Star, 2 time loan defaulter, and 1 time ex-Mr. Anna Kournikova, Sergei Federov.

So after going through the NHL Entry Draft twice, playing in the AHL, OHL, UHL, and ECHL, making a couple very brief stints in the NHL, playing in Russia, and then signing with the New Jersey Devils for another shot at sticking in the NHL, he probably went apeshit when he saw this headline.


[ NHL Fanhouse ] takes a look at out of proportion sibling rivalry, including Alain Lemieux and Brent Gretzky.

Dry your tears guys, Billy Baldwin knows how you feel.



Charlie's favorite actor.
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



Game #30
Top 5 Game of the season

[ Ben Eager is a Coward. PENS LOSE. ]

http://www.icebullshockey.com/chris/nhltol/logos100/phi3rd.png[pit.<span class=

8 - 2

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

"And when Therrien's postgame session with reporters ended, Flyers knuckle-dragger Ben Eager (0 points, 60 penalty minutes), whom Therrien passed in a corridor outside the Penguins' locker room, said to him, "You're a joke."

"Therrien offered a two-word comeback, only the second half of which -- "you" -- is suitable for public consumption."
[Post Gazette ]

Our feelings exactly.


Palindrome goes to the net for an easy tap-in. 1-0.

Cue The Whitney Play™.
Bring it home. 2-1.


Who the hell let Sykora stand alone by the post? 2-2.


Then it was Umberger again two minutes later. 4-2.

The second period was jobber city after that.

Letang punched Upshall, and then huffed and puffed and got a unsportsmanlike.


Hopefully Letang said something about Bill McCreary's mustache.
"Auditions for 'Wyatt Earp' ended a decade ago, dick."

Out of nowhere, Ty Conklin gets some action.

AND THEN BAM

The camera switches to Roberts and Eager throwing down.
We're not boxing experts, but it wasn't even close.
Eager hit air three times, while Roberts was waiting to bring a howlizter to the anus every time.

Right there is why Roberts is a man. Nothing else needs to be said.
There was 15:53 left.
The Flyers were up 6-2 now, which could have meant headhunting season for the Broad Street Homos.
BGL broke his stick crosschecking someone.


Keith Primeau almost scored on a Flyers 3-on-1.

And then another shot heard 'round the world.
Sid borderline trips Martin Biron behind the Flyers net. Sid loves it.
And then the Flyers fans use the assistance of the Wachovia Center organ to chant "Crosby Sucks."


He's trying to hear you, but he's too busy taking a dump in your mouth

After another scuffle with Whitney and Armstrong going to the box for fighting, the Wachovia faithful start chanting "We want Crosby."
Yeah, every NHL team does.

By this time, we just wanted to get out of Philly without any injuries.

Balls, Laraque wasn't done.
He totally jobs Martin Biron, trying to take his legs out.
He didn't even try to disguise it.

That is the definition of a job. Pure and simple.
If Biron gets injured there, BGL would have that blemish for the rest of his life.

That resulted in a Flyers power play.
Umberger made it 8-2.


Longtime Pens fan Elmo had seen enough

Finally, with more mercy than Jesus Christ, the clock went to all zeros. Gayme.

"Are we talking about the same team that got five guys suspended this year?" Therrien said. "It is a lack of respect what (Stevens) did tonight. At 7-2 you don't send your best power play on the ice. Even Daniel Briere didn't want to go on the ice. It is a lack of respect."
[Trib]

1/24
Revenge

Go Pens
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[Picture+3.<span class=

[comment.<span class=
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Go Pens

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


[Michael W]

"Pittsburgh has a great team, great people, great organization. I had to compare the two teams, and there's a little better chance to win the Cup in Detroit. I had a great time with Sid and playing on the power play with Geno [Evgeni Malkin], but the team in Detroit is something special. I know it's a short term, but we never talked about a one-year [deal] with Pittsburgh. We just talked about a long-term deal. I totally believe Detroit has the kind of team that can win it again."

--Hossa 3:16--

301 comments:

eileenover said...

The Roberts/Eager fight will always be my favorite.

HockeyFan7187 said...

First! HAHA!

HockeyFan7187 said...

Darn!

eileenover said...

HA!

sh0ez said...

Agreed, Eileen. Seeing some young douchebag getting his ass beat by an old beast is amazing.

It's bed time. I have work at 7am. Our main warehouse guy is on vacation so me, the guy with a little over a month experience, has to take the head spot. UGH. Then I gotta try and fix my hard drive . . .

Goodnight.

sh0ez said...

@ eileen, jonny v.: Dammit, if you guys go to C3 I'm gonna be pissed! I just spent money tonight on me and Michelle at Olive Garden and then seeing TDK at the Carmike by South Hills Village Mall. I'm gonna go broke. Hah.

If you do end up doing C3, we would possibly come out. Southland 9 sucks, but it's right behind QS&L.

sh0ez said...

P.S. staff: David the Gnome = solid. Can we have him for Gamedays? Is he a free agent?

eileenover said...

We're not doing C3 sh0ez, I can assure you that haha.

brndlynn said...

even though i've blocked out most of that game there were a few good things that came out of it.
-the Roberts fight
-Therrien saying F you to Eager
-Sid taking out Biron
-BGL taking out Biron
-Therrien calling out the entire Flyers organization.

brndlynn said...

and I almost forgot the BGL crosscheck. looking back now it also makes destroying them in the ECF that much more satisfying.

Ev said...

donkey lips > david the gnome

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

Century III has tumbleweeds and young wanna be's with baseball caps cocked to the side. Who'd want to go there?

hockeyfan, your cockiness dealt you a karmic bitch-slap

brndlynn said...

@ jefe from last post: that is when Brady was mentioned along with that all important catergory like favorite female outdoor sports athlete. how could you possibly include an nhl player in a group that prestigious?

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

Bobby Budnick > Kenny Melvin

Donkeylips' career is so bad he has to hook up jumper cables to his nipples and appear in a commercial for a paycheck.

brndlynn said...

@ jon: that commercial is horrible. haha.

Ev said...

thats hilarious, i thought i was the only one that knew that was him in that commercial.

poneil2005 said...

I was unsure if that air hockey video was legit at first, but then queens of the stone age starting playing and I remembered that Josh Homme is only associated with amazing things so it had to be real.

PDX Pens said...

Pens Fan Elmo haning himself = PensNation upon news of Ho$$a signing.

brndlynn said...

@ jon/eileen from last post: the waterfront is good with me as well if its alright with you eileen. theres also alot of places to eat down there if you guys would like.

jefe penguino said...

donkeylips has quite the career. taking on such roles as auditorium heckler, party guy, mohawk boy #1, morbid hipster, fat guy, and fat schlub.

donkeylips career > my career

@brnd -thanks for that info.
esp-Y do you hate hockey so much.

PDX Pens said...

God, I hate the Flyers.

In fact, I can't wait to spend the next 10-12 years of the Crosby Era thinking that Mike Richards can suck a fat one. It should make for a great rivalry, as they have signed their core long term and look to be top 3 in the East (w/ Montreal or New York and the Pens, of course)

eileenover said...

Sounds good to me Brandi.

Jawsh said...

In terms of chubby child actors from my childhood... Ham Porter > Greg Goldberg > Kenan Thompson > Donkey Lips

jefe penguino said...

i updated my bettman 'chop with a special appearance by mr balsillie.

brndlynn said...

jefe: nice. it kind of looks like he has his mouth over the barrel but its kind of right in a weird sort of way.

jefe penguino said...

@brnd/eileen -if youre going to the waterfront, maybe hit up red robin for a burger after the dark knight viewing. well thats what i did today. tough to beat free refills on fries. amazing.

and thanks, hah. im no sh0ez when it comes to photochopping thats f0r shur.

brndlynn said...

@ jefe: thats def my plan if i can see them on it.

jefe penguino said...

@brnd -cool. now get some rest why dont you. haha im outtie!

J.S. said...

thanks staff for reminding me how pissed I was after that game. my comments still stand, esp towards McCreary's resemblance to a certain Family Guy character and his recommended career path for him and his crew.

Bettman/Donkey Kong shop = solid. My Bettman as a Mountie shop and Bettman landing on the moon aren't coming along as planned, but I do have one more day to think of something within the rules.

Tony Little said...

Charlies Password = Enter:###

Tony Little said...

ironicly he has the same password as Danielle Briere

Tony Little said...

wow, cblog is slower than Derian Hatcher today.

J.S. said...

@TL, it's always slow from 6-10. Probably the worst part of my day is refreshing cblog for 4 hrs and seeing maybe 6 new comments.

mentioned in last night's c-blog was that Semi-Pro was the best sports movie. You have to be kidding. I wish I could take claim to this quote, but Will Ferrell is slowly becoming the Adam Sandler/Mike Myers of the big screen. Scream, make funny faces, say something "funny" but use a serious tone. Wash, rinse, repeat for 90 minutes. Let's just pray that The Love Guru doesn't get the nod in 2009

sh0ez, any luck with the drive yet?

Tony Little said...

Slowly becoming? He's probably been there before any of them. I can't recall a single movie where Ferrell isn't screaming the entire time. It seems to be all he really has going. Most of his characters are the same. It's a shame.
I was kind of disappointed with Semi Pro. I thought it had tons of potential to be hilarious, but it was only Semi Hilarious.

Original Nathan said...

If a team has a player file for arbitration, they can continue buying out other players through the arbitration period. Dennis Wideman was the Boston player headed to arbitration until he signed his new deal yesterday, but that gave the B's the flexibility to buy out Glen Murray in a couple of days.

Tony Little said...

He was hilarious on SNL and a handful of movies...
"Kicking and Screaming" = perfect movie title for him

Original Nathan said...

Right now there are only seven players that have filed for arbitration that haven't signed new deals already. I'm rather curious to see what the arbitrator will award Jay Bouwmeester if he doesn't re-sign before his hearing.

Original Nathan said...

I loved Will Ferrell's Harry Caray impersonation.

"Um, excuse me, didn't you die?"
"Yes! What's your point?"

And of course...

"Hey! What's your favorite planet?"
"Um, I don't know, they're all very fascinating -- "
"Mine's the sun!"

Tony Little said...

Yeah, his Harry Caray was amazing..

"if I were a scientist, you know what I would clone? HOTDOGS! Think of the possibilities!"

Tony Little said...

HEY, if you had the choice between being the top scientist in your field or getting mad cow disease what would it be?

shawnawwwesome said...

You know, I think Monk needs to look into that Elmo thing. I don't think the little dude's feet would have reached the chair.

C.S.I. Pittsburgh dropped the ball on that one.

Stilly said...

That elmo pic kills me every time. Just an outstanding photograph.

BlacknGold66 said...

J.S.'s comment from "Winter in the Sun" made me finally make the connection to where I've heard Emrick refer to diving as "gamesmenship" before.

Hmmm... Stanley Cup Finals... Chris Osgood... diving... "gamesmenship."

Now every time I listen to one of his broadcasts that's all I'm going to hear/be listening for.

It's like the arrow inside the FedEx logo.

Once you know about it... that's all you seem to notice.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Just stopping in before I go ...

From last c-blog: Christian Bale's accents: He uses a different accent in everyone of his movies. He tries to make sure Batman and Bruce Wayne don't sound the same so it's more realistic with keeping his identity. Also, remember the Adam West Batman show? Where he would answer his phone Billionaire Bruce Wayne?

Before I go Alain rules!

penstone410 said...

how many times has elmo hung himself? hes definitely had more than a few lives..

Dan said...

cue tumbleweed

Korn said...

Billy Baldwin was a monster in Backdraft.

Not hockey related, but the air hockey YouTube and the DK screenshot reminded me of "King of Kong". It's a documentary about the band of super dorks that worship the record holders of old arcade style games and a guy trying to break the DK record. Highly recommend it.

Flyer Hater said...

The last time Will Ferrell was funny was his last Jeopardy skit on SNL.

Bill McCreary makes Paul Devorski look competent.

paul said...

@eileen, 2:31:

my favorite fight from the past year is either whitney/redden (because of the implications) or ruutu/tucker, which i happened to see live. Nothing like chants of "U-S-A! U-S-A!" to celebrate a Finn winning a fight, and a Russian getting a hat-trick.

Max Power said...

Eager getting his ass mauled by the Roberts was the highlight of the game, sadly. After that loss I never wanted to punt a midget soo bad. Then in the weeks to follow Eager got traded for $3.00 and a jolly rancher. Good times.

wilsmith said...

I remember this game because I didnt watch it. I had two of my own hockey games and rushed to the second one where everyone had seen it already, and made sure no one told me what happened.

So, I get home and start watching the DVR and ended up fast forwarding to the goals and the fights. bleh

Max Power said...

perhaps it was for the best that you missed it wilsmith

Stilly said...

Reading the cblog from the Winter in the Sun section of today's post, I've surmised that it's Stoosh's fault the Pens lost in the finals.

Stoosh was telling off a Philthy troll and said:

And hey, once upon a time, [Philly] even made it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals. That was in 1997 against the Red Wings! Remember that?? I sure do. That "deer in headlights" thing the Flyers team did when they got to the Cup against Detroit was the best impression I've ever seen. You could've actually shown my deer guts splattered all over a highway and I wouldn't have been more convinced.

See, that's the difference between Pens teams and Flyers teams. When Pens teams get the chance to play for hockey's Holy Grail, we close the deal.


Ouch. I know Stoosh wasn't using his Psychic powers here, but that's pretty much how the finals this year went down. Except the Pens actually fought back and won a couple games.. and they aren't classless assholes.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

Damn you, BNG, for making me sit there two minutes looking for the arrow.

I haven't seen any Ferrel movies in the theater since Anchorman. Why keep paying for the same movie? Character is at the top of his profession, hits the skids, then redeems himself. What a formula.

Red Robin vs Fuddruckers...it'll be a vicious battle, but there can be but one victor...

Cell phones will kill you.

Joe said...

This game was a very low point of the season. Though hearing the excuses from my Philly friends up here at PSU on why Eager got his ass beat was classic. The BGL cross check and taking about Biron was classic. Dirty or not, it was the Flyers. This definitely fueled the rivalry for the rest of the season. It was such a high point for Flyers fans. I swear this win had them thinking Stanley Cup Finals. Then came the playoffs. What jokes.

Dan said...

they are working on an anchorman sequel, just saying

Colin said...

You know that this game was just off the wall when Crusher got two minutes for roughing.

Joe said...

Philly fans crack me up. Any sign of winning they automatically think championship. For instance when they beat the Habs in 5, they thought they were going to walk all over us. What idiots. Then when they won game 4 and Bobby Orr was suiting back up for game 5, they were going to win 3 straight. I really think it is some kind of mental disorder in Philly. I mean it could be a new disease not even known to man kind. I tried to get them to speak rationally, but it never works.

Stilly said...

@joe

You just can't expect reason from people in Philly. If they had any sense at all, they wouldn't live in Philadelphia. It's in my top three most horrible cities in the world with NYC and Mexico City.

The amazing thing is that this city has been the home of losers for a quarter of a century and they still think their teams are awesome. They're pretty much the definition of futility. Even if they put a good team together, they choke horribly when the chips are down.

Of course they're also the only city in the state deemed a "City of the First Class". Pretentious dicks.

Original Nathan said...

Philadelphia fans are the ones who booed Mike Schmidt mercilessly, booed Santa Claus, cheered Michael Irvin's career-ending injury (although I kind of enjoyed that one too), and fell into Tie Domi's lap because for some odd reason, the glass at Wachovia Center isn't equipped to handle a 275-pound construction worker leaning over the top of it.

Original Nathan said...

Hey, I'd take New York over a lot of other world cities. Or even American cities. Los Angeles, for instance. Houston blows donkey balls too.

Dan said...

there's a reason philadelphia wasn't included in that abortion that was titletown

stilly - you forgot cleveland

Stilly said...

You're right Dan.. Cleveland is pretty horrible. And i think to qualify for Titletown, you actually have to win something other than the NFC title game. I'd really prefer if we annexe Philly to New Jersey. That would instantly make New Jersey the worst state in the Union (not that it isn't currently in the running).

Stilly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Original Nathan said...

You forgot Cincinnati too. The Simpsons had such a great commentary on Cleveland and Cincinnati in the "Homerpalooza" episode: the bus gets to a fork in the road, with one going to Cincinnati and one to Cleveland, and it just turns around.

Original Nathan said...

"Oh, Homer Simpson wrecks my pig, Cypress Hill steals my orchestra, and Sonic Youth is in my cooler! Hey! You kids, get out of there!"
"Aw, come on, Mr. Frampton. You're not gonna eat all that watermelon."

Original Nathan said...

"We envy you, Homer. All we've got is our music, our legions of fans, our millions of dollars, and our youth.

WOOHOO!"
"Hey everybody, let's all go buy fur coats!"
"I want a walk-in humidor!"

Joe said...

It is so funny to see their hopes and dreams from high expectations shattered. Game 6 was probably one of the happiest moments during my 4 years. Watching the faces of Flyers fans witnessing their team get blown out, was priceless.

Dan said...

i bent my wookie

Russ Tundra said...

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/titletown/index and vote for Pittsburgh!!!!

Stilly said...

For those who miss Mark Madden

Madden's WrestleZone column

Stilly said...

@russ

I'm not sure anyone here takes much stock in titletown. I belive dan best described it as an abortion.

Russ Tundra said...

Stilly is a negative Nancey... no fun at all

Original Nathan said...

The one time I've been to a live wrestling show was when Madden was doing WCW.

I didn't follow WCW, but it was still a lot of fun.

Original Nathan said...

Which reminds me, I work three blocks from the Richmond Coliseum, I need to get off my ass and get my birthday present to myself: a ticket to Raw on August 11. There are definitely still tickets available.

I love that my wife and I share the exact same opinion of professional wrestling (that it's the stupidest thing we've ever seen), but that's why I watch it and she doesn't.

Stilly said...

I love pro wrestling. I watch Raw pretty much religiously. I've even got my wife watching it, which was no small feat.

Original Nathan said...

It took me over five years to get my wife to watch hockey, but it only took one truly great game to get her hooked forever. I don't think her watching wrestling is happening in this lifetime.

Dan said...

@ stilly - feb. 8th - i'm expecting a "you sold out" chant at the igloo. and chairs to rain down on hossa.

Original Nathan said...

@dan: Like this?

Maria said...

Do you think we could get someone to take out all the chairs at the Igloo and replace them with folding ones so we can throw them at Hossa? Just for the Detroit game. Cblog break into the Iglooblog anyone?

Max Power said...

@ dan

Are you aware of the "Golden Moment" at games?

Dan said...

nathan - that is exactly what i'm talking about. those were the good ol' days...........

Dan said...

@ max - no i am not, and i'm afraid to ask, but please, enlighten me.

Dan said...

maria - batman and robin can do anything!

Max Power said...

During the pagentries before the game when the crowd is asked to rise for the national anthem there is up to a 5 second pause. Silence, sweet silence. If you scream your head off to job a player during that time then the crowd will follow suit and boo that player for the rest of the game. Its worked at every game I've gone to. The fastest is "insert player name here" YOU SUCK. Its short and sweet and gets the job done.

Maria said...

dan- bust out your Batman pajamas and don't make any plans for February 8th. We're going in.

Dan said...

max - note taken. i will have to remember that. i will definitely job this year. usually anything with the word "golden" in it is a reference to, um, well, you know.

did you know it is actually inappropriate to cheer after the national anthem, you are actually supposed to just return to your seat.

Dan said...

maria - two face is going down!

jefe penguino said...

my favorite game. and this kid cheated.

Summer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stilly said...

@dan

I want there to be a moment at center ice where Sid goes to shake Hossa's hand and instead kicks him in the stomach and gives him the Pedigree. That'd be sweet.

Max Power said...

@ maria

It would serve you best to get a duplicate costume of Iceberg. It would draw attention but people would think nothing of it. Next you'll need a midget with pepper spray. Bring some vegetable/olive oil. You might have to lube up the midget so it can sneak into tight places. You'll want to keep the midget in the costume with you when your not using it for covert ops. If someone confronts you turn the midget loose and sit still. They'll think he's the only one in the costume and give chase. Have no fear. A rental cop couldn't possibly catch a greased up midget. While that circus is going on you can complete your mission.

Maria said...

Max, that is the most ingenius plan I have ever heard. You need to become a superhero ally to Dan and me. Anything that involves a midget is a winner in my book. Which reminds me, I still haven't been to Casey's.

Stilly said...

Nothing says summertime like Prowrestling, Superheroes, and greased up midgets.

Dan said...

maria - oh man you haven't been to casey's? assuming you are 21 this is a rite of passage.

max, you can be our nightwing. while all this is going on, i will be waiting in the rafters, watching. that's when i make my move. oh wait, we need to do this before the game starts, shit!

stilly - if he kicked him in the stomach wouldn't that impale him? not that that's a bad thing. oh man he should pull a nicholson on scatman crothers with an axe. oh man, i just got a photoshop idea!!!!!! HE HE!

Maria said...

@ stilly: nothings says Pens-Red Wings game like a wacky combination of all three.

@ dan: I know, I know. I can't believe I haven't been there yet. I think it's because my boyfriend is afraid of midgets. That just means my trip to Casey's will have to be a girls night, I guess.

Dan said...

but the midget pours alcohol in your mouth! how can you be afraid of that?!?! he's so little and cute, i wanna put him in my pocket and take him home! i actually thought of him after seeing TDK and walking towards the bar last week. i think he'd make a good henchman for the joker.

allusion said...

From Wikipedia: "The original "FedEx" logo had the Ex in orange; it is now used as the FedEx Express wordmark. The FedEx wordmark is notable for containing a hidden right-pointing arrow in the negative space between the "E" and the "X"."
but i still don't see that arrow. I'm not going to accomplish anything at work....

allusion said...

ohh, nevermind i've found this: http://www.moillusions.com/2006/05/fedex-logo-optical-illusion.html

Steve In Denver said...

The rock radio station morning show here had an "ask a dwarf" call-in session today. Too bad I didn't read c-blog first...I could have called in and asked if he was ever a super hero side kick, fast and untouchable, when properly greased.

Maria said...

@ dan, maybe if he pregamed before going to Casey's he'd be okay with it. The boyfriend is generally okay with anything that gives him alcohol. I'm excited. He's there on Mondays, right? Maybe while I'm there I'll give him an outline of Operation: Folding Chair. I bet he'd be up for it.

Dan said...

maria - mondays and saturdays

J.S. said...

4 min until I'm off til Monday

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Maria said...

j.s., 1.5 hours and I'm done for the day and get to come back tomorrow at 8am and do it all over again! Wooo!!

Haha seriously though, I'm jealous you get a long weekend. Enjoy it.

Dan said...

1 hour, no work till monday. so really 4 more days of work, then off to the beach. i can't wait to make drunken sand angels!!!!!! ah the magic of jack daniels. i'm 24 now, i wonder what my liver will be like when i'm 44? ah hell who cares!!!!!!!!!!

Max Power said...

@ maria

The midgets name is shawn. He can be kind of an ass. Especially when he's hammered. You've been warned.

Max Power said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maria said...

i wonder what my liver will be like when i'm 44?

That's what liver transplants are for!

Maria said...

max- So I should ask Shawn to be my greased-up henchmen early in the night?

My boyfriend is going to freak when I tell him what we're doing Monday night. That's what he gets for stealing my phone when I wanted to boo Smizik! Muhahaha.

Dan said...

max - very true, i should've mentioned that. not that it had far to go to get to his head! (get it, cause he's a midget!)

maria - i've been watching this growing things on mice thing closely. i figure if i can get a liver and a kidney or two that grew on top of some mouse i'll be in good shape!

eileenover said...

So who seriously plans on going to the Detroit game? I'll start the heckling of Hossa if need be.

Maria said...

I'm only kind of embarrassed to admit that when someone mentions growing organs on mice, I think of the South Park episode where they grow Mrs. Garrison a penis.

Max Power said...

Liver transplants:

That's why I want them to legalize the cloning of humans. I want to clone myself. Raise me in a healthy invironment. i.e. never let my clone drink or smoke and make him eat as healthy as possible. When he gets to be about 18 I'll sneak up behind and kill him. 1 new heart 2 new kidneys 2 new eyes 1 new liver = jackpot. Imagine having your first drink with an unabused liver? sweet.

Maria said...

Eileen, I'm going to do everything in my power to be there. I'll help start the heckling, too. If Operation: Folding Chair doesn't work out, maybe I'll just bring my own and throw it at him.

Dan said...

i plan on going to the detroit game, and i plan on fighting hossa. and franzen too i guess, cause he's a dick.

maria - if i had a dollar for every time i referenced south park, i'd have a shit load of dollars. south park is hella-cool. there is nothing embarrassing about south park at all, budday!

Dan said...

max - clones rule, it would be like the venture brothers, every time they die you just make a new one. think of all the donuts you could eat too! it's a win-win situation, except for the close. sucks for him when i kill it in some way that doesn't hurt the organs. maybe i'll stab it's brain, who needs one?

Maria said...

If I clone myself, I would let my clone live forever but come to work for me. Of course, she would be dying alive at the Trib. That place is a soul-killer.

Dan said...

college stole my soul, and destroyed my liver. i miss the days when i could drink a fifth of jack though.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Dan: If you are fighting Franzen and Hossa, you might as well kick Kronvall's ass ... I want to break his nose so badly ...

Cloning creeps me out ... couldn't do it on an ethical or any type of plane ... Ray Bradbury and science fiction scared me out of wanting it ...

Dan said...

ihk - 3 on 1, i like those odds. hossa looks like he couldn't beat his way out of a wet paper bag. chelios will probably waive his cane at me.

eileenover said...

Maria I don't think they'll let us bring in folding chairs haha. We should bring a ton of Rex Gildo CDs/tapes to throw!

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Dan: I could join you ... I really want to take Kronvall. *laughs*

At least Draper knew when to leave ... and Hasek retired as well ... get the hint, Chelios.

Joe said...

I'm over the Hossa thing. Without him we have no chance in hell to make the finals. With Army, we still have no chance. But to boo the shit out of him will be awesome, I can't lie. He could have jumped ship to any other team.

Max Power said...

If banged your clone would it make you gay?

Victor Raison said...

Question:

Is there anywhere you could find numbers and a nameplate that you could sew on a jersey yourself without getting one customized yourself?

Just curious.

Victor Raison said...

(In case you didn't notice, "yourself" is the word of the day.)

J.S. said...

maria, I actually get every other Friday off thanks to the sched that I work. However, I lost a weekend last month to reserves and the prior weekend I lost to being on The Isle for work. That is why this weekend is a big deal, or at least it is to me.

BettmanHeroBlog:
Decided to do two more today
Bettman doesn't like child preds
Bettman's heroic rescue
and the one that didn't fall within the rules but I ended up going yesterday b/c my other two shops weren't going as planned...

Bettman, why so serious?

eileenover said...

Someone should get together with me tonight. I need to get out of my house or I'm going to go insane.

Maria said...

If banged your clone would it make you gay?

Max, you're going to have to ask Charlie about that. He's the professional.

@ Eileen, I'm sure if I explain that I want to use the folding chair to injure Hossa, security would be okay with it. They might even help.

@ Dan, if there's one Red Wing I want to fight it's Chelios. Mainly because he annoys the hell out of me, but also because I know I could win. He'd probably break his hip trying to chase after me.

Flyer Hater said...

Eileen, I think I'm getting Cabin Fever.

Colin said...

Work = Gary Roberts
Me = Ben Eager

Colin said...

TIOPS has a live blog going on right now. Job session?

Just sayin...

eileenover said...

I think I might go to Wal-Mart (even though I hate it) later just to do something. Wow is that pathetic.

Maria said...

Wandering around Walmart brings back good memories. We used to do that when I was in high school just because it was the only thing open past 9pm. I love how pathetic small town life is haha

Raybin said...

I think I'm getting Cabin Fever.

DON'T SHAVE YOUR LEGS!

Original Nathan said...

Oh God, can't you imagine Bettman saying "Why don't you have a seat over there?" and then reading the horrible molester shit the guy said back to him?

That would be awesome fucking television right there. Quite possibly the greatest thing in the history of ever.

Raybin said...

Walking around Wal-Mart as a bored small town teenager was truly a great time. Being obnoxious and getting kicked out by staging mock gunfights with the toy guns and other such diversions was even better.

Flyer Hater said...

Raybin, I think it's too late...

OK, we're getting a coordinated Smizik jobbing going tonight. This will put the Fedko jobs to shame.

J.S. said...

I think I'm going to drink. Going to put down a few at 530 generally isn't my style. I'm not saying that it never happens, but I try not to make it a habit. There's a place down the road from me that's doing Christmas in July and is having all sorts of food and imported stuff.

Should be back in a few.

Maria said...

I got kicked out for riding a bike around the store once. It was pink and had silver streamers coming out of the handlebars. I tried to convince the lady that I was taking it for a test drive but she didn't buy it.

eileenover said...

If we're jobbing Smizik, I just might be in.

J.S. said...

Nathan, that was one of my favorite shows when MSNBC was running it regularly. Yeah, there's supposed to be a serious side to it, but watching Chris Hansen mock almost every pred that walks through that door is a good time. Or watching him tell the pred "if you have nothing to say, you're free to leave", you can't help but laugh when you see that creepy guy get tackled, tasered, or "accidentally" hit.

You know who else would take a good replacement for him and would bring a different vibe to the show? this guy

eileenover said...

My friends and I didn't really get kicked out, but we were sitting on little kid plush chairs in an aisle and some lady told us we had to put them back. Bitch.

Flyer Hater said...

I think I might join Elmo.

Max Power said...

If you killed your clone besides murder is that also considered suicide? If its just murder and you repent, you get to go to heaven. If its suicide but your still alive does that = 1 way ticket to hell? Since your clone has died would it end up in the place that your eternal spirit would be sent at that given point in time?

Flyer Hater said...

Max Power, I think it's time to pick up a hobby.

debrisslide said...

How does a coordinated jobbing of Smizik work?

eileenover said...

Max, you have a very interesting mind.

Maria said...

Max...maybe those deep questions are why coloning humans isn't possible. Yet.

Is Smizik on tonight? I may just call in. And if my boyfriend tries to steal my phone again, I'll use some of the moves you guys suggested last time. The most effective probably being a kick to the groin.

Maria said...

Coloning? Yeah, I meant cloning. Go me.

Flyer Hater said...

Max, you should submit that question to Jack Handey.

(Please tell me someone gets that reference)

KaylaJ said...

i don't know what the remnants of dolly brought with her, but i'm been sneezing and wheezing all day long! pretty soon i may need one of those clones you guys are talking about cause i'm pretty sure i sneezed out a piece of a major organ earlier.

"don't shave your legs!", ha, i laughed at that. i still don't get how she didn't realize what was going on and why she even figured that was a good idea anyway!

and i only went to wallyworld once cause we were bored, but it was fun. we got to go to the toy section when all the brats & snots were at home in bed (it was past 1am)and got to throw things around. of course going to wally world these days cause you're shopping ain't all that fun anymore.

and finally, at least when August gets here we can also talk about the big O....lympics. i mean, does Osgood's performance in the SCF already give him a medal or will a 9 year old Nike employee from China whip his ass?

Flyer Hater said...

STEELERS TRAINING CAMP IS IN FULL SWING!!!!

Somewhere John Shumway is blowing his load.

Flyer Hater said...

"and finally, at least when August gets here we can also talk about the big O....lympics"

Tease

Maria said...

I'm kind of blah about the summer Olympics. I'm more of a winter sports person. You know, ice dancing and such.

Max Power said...

I think I drank too much coffe. That rant about clones kind of made me feel like Tweak. AH.
I'm alright with cloning as long as my clone doesn't have a bigger penis than me.

eileenover said...

What about rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming Maria? That's where it's at.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Flyer Hater: Hilarious stuff with Jack Handey ...

Jack was real ... I always thoguht the guy was made up ...

Here yinz go ...

Max Power said...

Trampolining now there's a sport. There's also the odd chance that someone's vision is distorted by all the smog and they catch a javelin, the wrong way.

Maria said...

I'll probably only watch the ping-pong competition. It's almost as exciting as hockey!

jefe penguino said...

the quote i always remember from jack handey is
"the crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw."

KaylaJ said...

my fav jack quote:

kids like to be fooled. I remember i once told my nephew we were going to disney world, but i really took him to a burned down shack. "oh no" i said, "disney world burned down". he cried and cried, but i think deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to take him to the real disney world, but it was dark, so i went home.

Flyer Hater said...

http://deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/

Maria said...

"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad."

I'm glad that isn't why I'm afraid of clowns.

Original Nathan said...

"When I was a kid, I liked to ride in the car with my head sticking out the window. Until one day, my head knocked off a dog's head."

TheFandangler said...

BudnickBlog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7tiy5yqFi8&feature=related

Dr. Turkleton said...

"I knew a guy named Charles who often ventured onto a hockey blog. One day, there were 166 posts about Nothing. 'Maybe I could turn this into a sitcom, like Seinfeld,' he said. He decided against that and jumped off the Fort Pitt Bridge instead."

Maria said...

tPB sitcomblog. I like it.

Stoosh said...

Good evening. My name is Stoosh and

I
Hate
Me
Some
Firewalls
at
Work.

Stoosh said...

Will Farrell's impression of Harry Caray looks like Amateur Hour at the Funny Bone compared to Jim Volkman.

eileenover said...

2 home runs in a row? Well holy crap.

KaylaJ said...

flooding+no baseball=me bored

Stoosh said...

@ Stilly @ 9:54AM -

Reading the cblog from the Winter in the Sun section of today's post, I've surmised that it's Stoosh's fault the Pens lost in the finals.

Now that just hurts, yet I somehow feel responsible.

I remember after Game Two thinking, "Oh, shit. Outside of the fact that we beat the Flyers to get to the Cup this year, I can never pick on Flyers trolls for their team's performance in 1997." Now all I have to do when I make that statement is drop the fact that we failed to close the deal this year.

The Pens did the deer in headlights thing for about four straight periods - all of Game One and the first period of Game Two. After that, they didn't really look like a team that was entirely overwhelmed. They still looked a little overwhelmed, but they weren't standing around watching the Wings play at a completely different speed.

Stoosh said...

Now every time I listen to one of his broadcasts that's all I'm going to hear/be listening for.

It's like the arrow inside the FedEx logo.


It's like seeing the HW in the Hartford Whalers logo or, even better, the MB in the old "glove logo" of the Milwaukee Brewers.

wilsmith said...

or the eleven in the big ten.

Stoosh said...

If there's one thing the Pirates did right the last few years, it was trading Brian Giles just as his career pretty much started to go downhill.

Original Nathan said...

Or the fact that the Montreal Expos logo contains the initials for "Montreal Expos Baseball Player" ("baseball player" is in French, hence the "JB").

Once you see them, you can't un-see them. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.

paul said...

@stoosh:

the brewers thing pretty much blew my mind. that reminds me of the Montreal Expos logo, I always thought it was just some nonsense blob. Turns out it says Meb!

re: Olympics:

Volleyball/Handball are my sports of choice. Kerri Walsh and Misty May are so incredibly dominant I can't even wrap my mind around it. Not only did they not lose a match in 2004, they didn't lose a game. They won every best of 3 match 2-0. Indoor volleyball is righteous too, although I'm a bit biased since I've played for almost 10 years now. And Handball is just awesome.

paul said...

DOUBLEPOST:
I just got ruined by someone with more knowledge about the Expos than me. I'm actually more proud that I knew less about it than somebody, I think.

Dan said...

victor - ebay

i leave work and i miss all the talk about beating on red wings and killing/fornicating/whatever else to clones. wow i missed a good time!

Flyer Hater said...

The Flyers were also a much more experienced team at the time with a veteran goalie and tons of veteran presence on that team. The Flyers were also favorites heading into that series and had home-ice advantage.

The Pens came in as the underdog, with almost no Stanley Cup experience, and didn't have home ice, and yet we recovered to make a series out of it and was one late goal away from forcing OT of Game 6.

J.S. said...

all this talk about Expos baseball, and not a word about Yooppi the Expos mascot?

Youppi, without the extra P, translates to yahoo! (not to be confused with yahoo.ca) or yippee (not to be confused with any domain name containing yippee)

speaking of Montreal, best goal song = The Box - Goal Song

wilsmith said...

speaking of speaking of montreal,

who even knows

I think that was deff. posted either in a recap or in here a while ago, but it's worth putting up again.

I just can't take rap seriously when it's in French.

actually, I take that back. I can't ever take it seriously .

Flyer Hater said...

That's the best video in the history of the internets

eileenover said...

I remember when I thought summer was the best part of the year. Now I hate it.

Maria said...

Those crazy French Canadians and their silly rap music. I studied in Montreal for a semester last year, and after 15 weeks there I still didn't get French rap. One of the most popular French rappers is a tiny white girl named Diam's, whose most popular song is basically a personal ad. She even gives you her e-mail address at the end.

TheFandangler said...

Summer sucks the wein.

paul said...

@js,

Youppi is also the mascot for the Habs. That is, according to a wikipedia string I was reading throughout the night, including but not limited to:
Lists of NHL Mascots, Franz Schubert, Charles Wang, and Leopold Stokowski. A pretty intense night for me, obviously.

eileenover said...

Franz Schubert nearly killed my vocal chords last year.

Flyer Hater said...

On a long and lonesome highway east of Omaha...

Flyer Hater said...

You can listen to the engine moaning out as one lone song...

Flyer Hater said...

You can think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before...

Flyer Hater said...

But your thoughts will soon be wondering the way they always do...

Flyer Hater said...

When you're riding 16 hours and there's nothing much to do...

Flyer Hater said...

And you don't feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through...

Flyer Hater said...

Say Here I am on the road again...

Flyer Hater said...

There I am up on the stage...

Maria said...

Using Seger to turn the page. Well played, FH.

Flyer Hater said...

Here I go, playing the star again...

There I go...

Flyer Hater said...

Turn

Disclaimer

We are in no way affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Pensblog uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey our criticism and inform the public.

Photos on The Pensblog are used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us (thepensblog@gmail.com) and we will be happy to oblige.

wooo