Monday, July 28, 2008

Another Day In Paradise

So, what has July been like?
The best conceptional comparison we can make is this:



[Thanks to Josh B. for the video]

If the comparison doesn't make sense, we don't care.
We just wanted show that video...
And imply that July may possibly have moobs.

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Last year around this time, [ NHL Tournament of Logos ] got bigger than your sac.

Everyone touched themselves every day, waiting for news regarding the new RBK uniforms.
We touch ourselves 24/7/365, but we do it with more determination during the offseason.

NHLToL has changed its name and address to [ Icethetics ].
Just a tremendous website.

He found some credible information and got the low-down on all 18 third jerseys
that will be introduced in anticipation of the upcoming season.


The Pens will definitely be rocking the baby blue.

ICETHETICS is also doing a logo contest for some fantasy-hockey league.
This is a potential logo for the Pittsburgh Miners:



Finally, ICETHETICS is also doing a Center-Ice Tournament. [ Here ]


First-round matchup. This week sometime.

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While we're talking logos, we've spent some time recently and drew every NHL logo using vector art.
Basically, that means we can make the logo as big as your mom and the logo won't lose its quality.

Like [ here ].

We had to do it because having high-quality .png files of logos in flash blog makes the flash about 1 megabyte.
We hate watching things load more than anything.

It wasn't an exact science, and some logos were a bitch.
[ Florida ] and [ Nashville ] were no picnic.

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:: What exactly does one do after being replaced by Barry Melrose? According to [ Newsday ] John Tortorella was in New York to meet with the Islanders about their coaching vacancy.

But with the Tortorella still collecting $1.3 million from the Lightning this season, you'd expect him to be more selective in his next position and not run head-first into the debacle that is the Islanders' front office, who recently split with Ted Nolan over "philosophical differences".

Yeah, Ted Nolan, the guy who performed a feat akin to squeezing blood from a stone, and actually took the sorry excuse for an NHL roster to the playoffs in 2007.

[ Puck Daddy ] doesn't think he's a great fit either.


:: [ Steel City Sports Fan ] details the continuing twisted mess that has grown out of the Casino Licensing and assures that regardless of the situation, the Penguins will get their new arena.

Although, due to lack of funding for the construction of the Majestic Star Casino,
it may come at the cost of taxpayers.

:: Sean Leahy at [ Going Five Hole ] thinks that Matthew Barnaby
may just be Barry Melrose's replacement at ESPN.

:: Speaking of the devil, in an ESPN poll, over half of the 13,000+ who voted thought the L.A. Kings would make the playoffs in the next 2-3 seasons.



16 of the 30 teams make it to the postseason, so it's not like anyone's saying the Kings are going to be lifting the Cup or anything. But we're talking about a team that had 7 different starting goaltenders last season and has hovered at nearly $30 million under the cap, but made no big free-agent acquisitions this off-season.

What Barry Melrose has to do with the Kings in 2008 is anyone's guess.
We just needed a segue.

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We all know about the [ Bettman heroism photoshop expo. ]

Earl Sleek at [ BoC ] forgets the heroism part, but still brings the laughs:






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Speaking of Photoshops, we followed a link today that led us to a bunch of pissed-off Flyers fan.

What were they pissed off about?
Our photoshop expo.
[ HF Boards ]

Now, this is nothing new.
But check out this clown traitor:

[Picture+6.png]

This has to be the first time we have ever been called Yinzers.
We actually want to vomit.

And as always, until we get confirmation that a critic of our blog actually runs a blog themselves,
the criticism means virtually nothing to us.

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Prankblog:

You can have Hannah Monjokea call any of your friends:
[Hannah Montana phone calls]

Why does this matter?



If you really want to shutdown Fedko's show, just enter his number into the phone-call list.
412-333-PCNC.

It's time like these that we're glad that we have like two friends.
Nobody knows our numbers.

[Thanks to Matt S.] for the heads-up.

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[Ryan S]


Beast.

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Big props to [Ida Bitter] of the Burning River Rolling Girls:



Solid Helmet.
Look at the obstruction.

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Game # 33

[Mistake on 34th Street. PENS LOSE.]
[nyr.png][pit.png]
4 - 0

It was painfully obvious early that this was going to be one of those games.
The season finale of "Shot at Love," had more suspense.

Nothing you can do about games like these.
At least the Pens didn't give up over 150 yards rushing.

National Treasure 2 comes out soon, life isn't that bad.

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After some jobbin, the Rangers scored again.
Straka deflects it in.

2-0. A weight machine gets an assist.
abu made a huge save on the PK.
The Rangers finish off their night of weak goals by throwing it at the net again, and Drury is ready to make some cherry pie. 4-0.


Drury, the cherry-picker, enjoying the fruits of his labor, caught red-handed...err, red-mouthed. Woooo.

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[Picture+3.<span class=



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[Michael W]

"Pittsburgh has a great team, great people, great organization. I had to compare the two teams, and there's a little better chance to win the Cup in Detroit. I had a great time with Sid and playing on the power play with Geno [Evgeni Malkin], but the team in Detroit is something special. I know it's a short term, but we never talked about a one-year [deal] with Pittsburgh. We just talked about a long-term deal. I totally believe Detroit has the kind of team that can win it again."

--Hossa 3:16--

Go Pens

195 comments:

jefe penguino said...

first first revolution.

satancity said...

Haha nice video =)

hashmoney said...

FIRST

Its really early

JM47 = Joke

hashmoney said...

NOOOOOO i took long to make a comment

me = stunned

Natalie said...

What the hell, man. That's my cousin on that video. Leave the uncoordinated alone.

...Yeah, sorry. Smartassblog at 3:30 in the morning is kind of pathetic.

It's odd, this offseason is the shortest offseason in a long time, but it feels like it's dragging on forever.

jefe penguino said...

flyers fans are horrible at photoshopping. what a bunch of maroons.

@natalie -demand that video be taken down immediately!

Natalie said...

Can't a guy just rock out on the DDR machine in PRIVATE?

How DARE you insult his delicate sensibilities?

Fuckin' yinzers.

jefe penguino said...

that kid dancing video led me to fat kids getting tackled to fat kids getting hurt to cops being retarded to skaters fighting authorities to kids telling cops they suck to the final one i watched, "traffic cunt".
thanks youtube!

Jawsh said...

Hannah Montana wake up calls are why Al Gore invented the internet.

shawnawwwesome said...

I hate to think just how big that guy would be without the DDR aerobic workout.

Is there a joystick version?

PittHockey said...

this is the only good thing about monday.

stokes said...

i was working on a joke about that fat kid on DDR, but all of a sudden the joke wrote itself. You'd think someone that big would know better...


watch it Staff! someone who knows that guy's brother's cousin reads tPB.

Pensblog Staff said...

Joke's on everyone, since the kid in that video is Pensblog Adam.

Tony Little said...

that girl in the roller derby photo with the Pens logo kinda looks like Colby Armstrong.

penstone410 said...

hannah mon"joke"a jobbing fedko = what a wonderful world

i have a friend who can do what the fat dude in the DDR video does. i am sad to say i associate myself with them. one day they were doing their thing on the DDR machine at Destinta theater. they grabbed the bar behind them to hold themselves up and the bar broke off and they went flying. best day of my life.

tonyscoolerthanu said...

Where does one go about acquiring said Penguins vector art to make my desktop a fancy lady?

J.S. said...

I still think Tortorella was fired because of a prank gone bad in 1982 when they were both teammates on the Hampton Roads Gulls.

Who cares if it was for only one game, it's as good a theory as any other one that's out there right now.

The Hannah Joketana call might be a good idea, but I wish I still had the Snakes On A Plane one bookmarked.

BlacknGold66 said...

Nicer rack...

The chick in the slot machine pic?

or

The fat kid playing DDR?



"What does 'High Score' mean? Did I break it?"

Tony Little said...

Fedho is so shutdown tonight...

Hip said...

First off, the PS are funny!

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeak.

Stilly said...

God I hate Philadelphia. You'd think the homos who follow a Philadelphia franchise would be used to losing by now.

The Flyers were spanked by a better team in the playoffs. No amount of photoshop bashing will change the fact that their team is horrible.

P.O. said...

slots chick is hot... probably won't see any talent like that down on the "north shore" (a nice way of saying north-side-right-next-to-manchester) when/if our casino gets off of the ground

Novos51 said...

Stinking HOF boards caused about 15 pop ups. Flyer fans premier threads with pop ups...fruits

Check out puck daddy's talk about swastikas on jersey's...kinda freaky to see the pre Nazi pics

Dan said...

i was gonna say nice rack to the girl playing slots.

don't they realize that them being bad is what makes them so good?

and at least we aren't pussies and have censorship on here.

stokes - from last night, after i went to bed...... grohl did drum for pearl jam briefly, in australia. the band has grown up since the last time i've seen them, they still need to solo though, because they really don't, which is a shame.

Dan said...

p.o. - go to some of the safer bars on the north shore, the talent puts her to shame

Dan said...

now i'm on facebook and see........

happy birthday brandi!

J.S. said...

I did see my cheatos pic got propped, but coming from that group of knuckledraggers that really doesn't mean much.

I did laugh at this pic though

the "i are serious cat"

P.O. said...

dan

if you want to see talent, go to nakama around 9pm.. you will see some of the hottest 30-45 year old milfs you have ever seen.. its like divoricedsinglespalooza in that place every time i go in there

Dan said...

p.o. - i leave the cougar rifle at home. lookin for someone my age lol. i'll pass that onto a friend though

P.O. said...

dan

i havent renewed my hunting license since i moved into seriousgirlfriendland, but going to that place is like shooting fish in a barrel

someone your own age, its late, and you're feeling a little buzzed/lonely.. try out Jimmy D's on Carson... that place is a can't miss.. and if you fail there, scoot down to the Caravan Club after-hours till 4am, if you can't find someone there, give up and join a friary

Dan said...

p.o. - funny thing about jimmy d's.... first time i was there, i feared for my life. last time i was there, different story lol. the majority of the time (100%) i just get drunk and have a tendency to not care, it usually works out well lol. it's kinda like jefe's point of view.

wilsmith said...

I am better at DDR than the fat kid.

Original Nathan said...

Jay Bouwmeester's arbitration hearing is tomorrow. Wonder how much he'll get, and if the Panthers will actually accept it or walk away and leave him to be a UFA (with his price tag for one year set in stone).

The Pens have Sydor, Gill, and Scuderi coming off the books next season, freeing up about $5 million just from the defensive corps alone. Staal is the only major RFA in the summer of 2009 (Talbot and Kennedy are also RFAs next summer, but the Pens should be able to keep them with minimal raises).

So, since the Panthers are giving all indications that this will be Bouwmeester's last season in Florida, would it be worth a shot to try to get him at the deadline or go after him in free agency next season? Might be a good insurance policy for after 2010 when Gonchar's contract expires in case Whitney still isn't ready to take over Gonchar's role on the team.

akus said...

From the thread at the HFboards,

..."I don't really know what's going on with St. Louis and Vinny here, nor do I know who the man in the smaller picture is...
How could they not know Charlie??? or is it all a huge conspiracy, that they do know and won't admit it?
----

This has to be one of the stupidest lines i ever seen posted @HF boards in that thread,
July 23,2008.
"Do you think they've figured out yet that Eager is no longer on the Flyers? Should we tell them?"

Should i ask them if the photoshop was posted shortly after a humiliating defeat in a fight at the hands of 41 year old Gary Roberts????


This is why i am so glad i wake up each morning, even if it is freaking still July,as a Pens fan.

Thank You Pens and Charlie!



PS.
John dear do not forget you have cooking class to be followed by play practice a half hour later. We want to start fresh since in high school, You were unpopular and admited that you were, "considered a real loser and a geek", and "was constantly getting beat up because of that"; however, in college you discovered you had talents that could put to good use.


That's my Johnnieeee :)



Oh, DDR GONE.
Video is no longer available.
That is what i get for reading Flyers trash first.

Max Power said...

@ b&g

you know you can't talk like that when the gets here

@ p.o.

Jimmy D's = crotchrotcity

Every drink should be served with a shot of penicillin

akus said...

...We just wanted show that video...
And imply that July may possibly have moobs.


Ummm , may possibly??

I think moobs are covered for a showing in each of the 12 months.

Turn on a Steeler/Brownies game in the middle of December.


Or watch Butterbean all year long.

Ever see Homer Simpson looking in the mirror, squeezing them?
Peter Griffin breastfeeding?


Perhaps i should have stopped at Butterbean.


Billy Mays product, fixit, may possibly be the cure for moobs.

Did i mention Jorge Garcia???

Max Power said...

@ b&g

you know you can't talk like that when lion the gets here

J.S. said...

or you could always use the Alec Baldwin one on Fedko

click me

MadScientist said...

Because it's July, I thought I'd ask if anyone remembers this:

After some game during the 95-96 season, someone from the KDKA postgame show (I think John Steigerwald) was doing an interview (I can't remember who) in the middle of some room, not up against the wall. In the middle of the interview, Chris Wells walked into the room, stark naked. I think he may have shown the full monty, but then again, my memory was affected by teenage hormones. The most shocking part of this is that KDKA showed this entire interview, Wells uncensored, a total of three more times on the next day's newscasts.
For a 15 year old girl at the time, total score.

I have a hard time finding people who remember this, so someone please tell me I didn't think it up.

coffeytalk said...

July won't end.

The Post-Gazette loves July, however.

I open up my paper to read this morning's front page headline:

'It's the most wonderful time of the year...'

pictured below: steelers arriving at training camp.

Look, I am a Steeler fan but I get the tummy rumbles over the obsession and undying love the PG has over those Steeler boys.

Also they have 2, count 'em 2 articles about how fat Casey Hampton is. Thanks again Ron Cook and Ed Bouchette for your brilliance in journalism. I'd love to slam your faces into a typewriter.

Ah well. At least it's SHARK WEEK.

J.S. said...

bng, is that grandma's boy ftw?

Max Power said...

You know its a slow day when people are reminiscing about their teenage wang sightings.

akus said...

No moobs, but the full monty?


Where was Tivo back then!!

Dan said...

i can't believe you came on my mom, ftw

Max Power said...

This is Mr. Lee Ho. He's full on Chinese. I got my yellow belt today. Monkey got his orange belt, he's a quick learner.

J.S. said...

the dante scenes were the best part of that movie

Max Power said...

What's that ringing? Do I have a tumor?


Its for you I think its the devil.

akus said...

@novos51,
I was not going to look at the puck daddy's talk about swastikas on jersey's, but ran across while reading icethetics.

It's not what one expects to see on a jersey of any sports, let alone an all female team.

Interesting read.

penstone410 said...

@coffey
SHARK WEEK !!!
i have will to live now

StillsandNash said...

YESSSS my Gary Bettman guitar hero photoshop got an honorable mention!!!

coffeytalk said...

stillsandnash-

your avatar was my halloween costume last year. well, minus the hockey gear.

Flyer Hater said...

That couldn't be Pensblog Adam, because Adam doesn't leave the house.

akus said...

Fernie Swastikas Hockey Team 1922,also looks like an all female team.

J.S. said...

Billy Coutu was mentioned in the swastikas article. I knew that he was the only player to ever be suspended for life, but I didn't know what a loose cannon he was.

link to wiki page. If he were alive today, he'd probably call Gordie Dwyer, Todd Bertuzzi, Jesse Boulerice, and Marty McSorley as a group soff.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@J.S.: He really hated that ref ... Jerry Laflamme never stood a chance ...

Dr. Turkleton said...

for those interested....
Penguins STH Plans A & B are out

akus said...

"....Coutu's forehead hit Shore's skull, severing Shore's ear.

HIS ear.
Lard Tunderin Jaysus!

And to think, Casey Hampton is on the physically unable to perform list, cause he is to fat!
pfttt.

TheFandangler said...

Max:

Awesome.

J.S. said...

and cue Coach Gundy in 3....2.....1.....

"someone makes fun of him because he dropped a pass in a pickup game, or SAYS HE'S FAT(!)"

ESPN buried the wrong line in that rant.

"FAT!" > "I'm a man, I'm 40!"

Stilly said...

Casey Hampton is a beast. Epps better watch his step or Hampton might mistake him for an appetizer.

Shore claimed Coutu used his hockey stick to cut off the ear, and Coutu was fined $50. However, Shore later recanted and Coutu's money was refunded.

Today's NHL is soff. Apparently the only time a fine is warranted is if someone uses a hockey stick to sever a body part. Even then it's only 50 bucks.

Stilly said...

Wow... I meant to italicize and must've surrounded the qoute with html tags.

fail.

akus said...

I looked up some info on Eddie Shore on wiki and seen some more info on the Coutu ear incident.

In the 1925–26 season, Billy Coutu and Sprague Cleghorn of the Montreal Canadiens were traded to the Boston Bruins. During their first practice with the Bruins, Shore strutted back and forth in front of Coutu and Cleghorn. Coutu body-slammed Shore, head-butted, elbowed, and tried to torment Shore. Coutu picked up the puck and made a rush at Shore. The two players collided. Shore held his ground and Coutu flew through the air violently crashing to the ice. Shore's ear was almost ripped off but he barely noticed it. Coutu was out cold and was out of commission for a week.

Damn and this was during,PRACTICE.


**love that name Sprague Cleghorn**

akus said...

So i guess body-slamming,elbowing and head-butting wasn't enough torture.

BlacknGold66 said...

@Turk: So assuming that "Shirts Off Our Backs" night is the final home game (as it always is) that means that Plan B gets that game?

Isn't it usually a toss up?

akus said...

Another old time hockey name,
Dit Clapper

Still gotta go with Cleghorn.


It's ok stilly, you are not the first, won't be the last.

Dr. Turkleton said...

bng66...

usually, that game is NOT part of the A or B twenty...but, the Swedish Expedition is messing that up this year since that counts as one of the 41 home games.

J.S. said...

Jay Bouw-meester-meester avoids arbitration.

According to the good Doc, 1 yr, 4.9 mil. Details later.

BlacknGold66 said...

Ah, yes. Didn't even think of that "other" home game.


I hope I can get tickets.


I'm running low on windshield wiper fluid.

Dr. Turkleton said...

bng...

HA!...I wish they'd bring back the Windshield Washer Fluid promo...I think they must've given away too many cause it went the way of the Dodo a couple seasons ago.

The Super Cut Super Shot is gay. The best part about it is when they show the long haired freaks or the Mr. Clean stunt doubles in the crowd.

GetGo's Scratch & Win games are cool...but the best prize I've ever landed from one of those is a Free GetGo car wash...usually is a Hot Dog, Fountain Drink or a Bag of Chips.

Dan said...

everyone should have a 25 cent beer night

meecrofilm said...

dear god, c-blog is slower than Derian Hatcher today.

Derek said...

You could have just posted that you want the NHL logos in vector format... I found a rar around the net of all of them before. You are still welcome to them... It even has some classics in there like the Winnipeg Jets

wilsmith said...

I prefer "back to normal" rather than slow.

it was just overwhelmed and incredibly jacked up during the post-season and FA with all the new blood. they've left, and now a lot of the old-heads are around more often.


whew

Original Nathan said...

This is the time of year when you find out who the true c-blog regulars are.

We're the schmucks posting crap on the 28th of July.

Cheers.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Wilsmith: I don't think they are going to be gone for long ... when it gets closer to Pens season, we'll see all the people come back and more ...

P.O. said...

Dr Turk

a promo you will never ever see again: when the pirates used to give out full size bats with player autographs on them

super cuts super shot def. needs to be replaced with something less northside-ish "hey yinz lets go dahn nat supr cuts an get us a free herr cut" - puke

Beav said...

We will see everyone and more until the first three game losing streak or a loss to the Cryers at home and then there will be many a broken ankle as people are jumping off the bandwagon.

meecrofilm said...

Yeah, good call. July is just messing with my mind. Everything looks like molasses these days. At least the Olympics are coming soon, and we can have fun watching China get shit for entering underage competitors in the girls gymnastics competition.

shawnawwwesome said...

cblog = clique

I can tell when I'm not wanted.

...

Okay, I really can't. So file a restraining order like everyone else.

jefe penguino said...

@dan -thanks you reminded me of 25¢ wings tonight. although id rather the beer be 25¢.

J.S. said...

mmmmm, wing specials.

There's a place down the road that's doing .20 wings. I might be in depending how busy I am.

Stilly said...

@beav

They'll be in the suicide line that starts at LGP.

J.S. said...

Why so serious?

coffeytalk said...

lets start throwin' the new "super shot" ideas out.


i'm ready for something new. the last time i got my hair cut at a super cuts i was 9 years old and i cried for days after they murdered my hair.

BlacknGold66 said...

Well put Wilsmith.

------------------------

Promoblog

Some company 'round these parts used to give oil changes for the sum of the total of runs scored during the Indians Sunday games.

So basically we were all getting $3 and $4 oil changes.


I remember seeing something on Center Ice during an Islander's game last season about yelling something stupid (like "Go Islanders or whatever) at Wendy's and getting a free bowl of chili.

The Pens need to do that but of course switch it to "Free... ?

Switch it to "Free... ???


Ah, you guys will think of something.

coffeytalk said...

Souper Shot?

Free bowl of soup when the Pens score. Bob Evan's chicken noodle would be awesome right now.

brndlynn said...

thanks to dan and everyone else for the birthday wishes! if you see a drunk girl on crutches on the north shore tomorrow night please help me up off the ground and stay for a drink! lol.

bars to go to in pgh: def stick to the north shore when possible. at least thats where i go which may or may not support my opinion.

if you have a few mins today i rec going to EN and watching the Geno video. wow.

and finally in re to the steelers: i love the steelers but i hate how the pgh media falls all over themselves in praise of them.

sorry for the long post!

coffeytalk said...

Free bubblegum, bng. Free bubblegum is what you're looking for.

or maybe free COOKIES.

or free carpet.

free cans.

free car ride.

free cardiologist.

free calligrapher.

Victor Raison said...

Free Candelabras?

Dr. Turkleton said...

Free Candy.

-too soon?

As #44 steps onto the ice for a shift in the 1st or 2nd period...

John Barbaro gets on the mic...

On this Brooks Orpik shift, if he checks an opponent:

Once - Everyone Wins a fun size Clark Bar
Twice - A Big Kat Bar
Thrice or more - A Case of Mario Bun Bars*
[*not recommended for consumption]

What constitutes a 'Check' will be determined by an All-Star Media Panel of: Bob Smizik, Ron Cook and Dave Molinari and the results will be announced before the 3-Stars at the conclusion of the game....GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

Dan said...

jefe - no problem, but we all know you. that will not stop you from mass consumption

p.o. - i have a bobby bo one. that was a good promo

brandi - all in all i prefer the south side, but north shore isn't bad. i used to go to calico's a lot, but that place has slowly gone downhill big time.

that joker thing is hilarious.

i feel the need to job someone, but i can't think of anyone to do so with.

free COTTON CANDY!

Victor Raison said...

Say what you want about the PGH media Steeler fellatio, but I for one am just relieved to have something other than baseball to hear about.

"Sources tell me that the Pirates have traded their entire pitching staff for a box of Nutter Butters and some minor leagure prospects. A rep from the the front office stated that this, "... is just a part of our 16 year rebuilding program."

Maria said...

Brandi- forget the North Shore, come to the South Side tonight! I'll be at Casey's paying the midget to pour alcohol in my mouth.

Dan said...

yay robin is going to see the midget!!!!!!

Maria said...

Dan, I read that and I was like, "Wait, my name's not Robin." Then I remembered that I AM Robin. I'm stupid. I think I still might be a little hungover from my Sorel experience Saturday night.

But yes, Robin is going to see the midget and it should be an excellent experience because I'm taking my boyfriend who has a serious midget phobia. I'm the best girlfriend ever.

Dan said...

maria - please take video of this and put it on youtube

jefe penguino said...

@maria -for 10 bucks youll make the whole bar happy.

i miss the southside. i didnt make it there my last trip.

@dan -that is true. thats why im going for a jog so when im gorging myself on 25¢ wings and beer (1/2 off for happy hour at least) i wont feel as bad.

stokes said...

So i just re-read the Winter in the Sun and stumbled upon this gem of a quote:

We're getting closer to our dream of Roberts not even making a move and just plowing into a goalie full-speed during a penalty shot or shootout.


BNG: if you brought your ticket stub to Wendy's after a 7 goal game, you'd get a free chili, but that was waaaay back in the '80's.

Dan: nice on the Grohl history. Its official: Who HASN'T played the drums for Pearl Jam?

brndlynn said...

@ dan: i agree on calicos. its kind of hit or miss sometimes. last time i was there i felt like it was invaded by ny guidos.

@ maria: i wish but ss is not crutch friendly. lol. we def need to see a vid of how it goes. lol.

Maria said...

@ Dan, I would, but he already told me no cameras tonight. I think it's because he's probably going to be in tears about an hour in.

jefe penguino said...

@maria -spoiler alert. shawn the midget workin the bar.

eileenover said...

My mom now wants to take my dad to Casey's for his birthday. I think I would actually pee myself laughing. Just imagine a 6'5" middle-aged man who is somewhat frightened by midgets having alcohol poured in his mouth by one, while we're pinning him down.

Maria said...

Jefe, I am giddy with excitement.

Text message from the boyfriend: I'm reading the Pensblog right now. Stop talking about my fear of midgets.

Hi Scott =)

debrisslide said...

WOOOOO CHANNEL 11 IS DOING LIVE STEELERS TRAINING CAMP COVERAGE WOOOOO

*barf*

brndlynn said...

@ maria/scott: haha. its not that bad - really! poor guy.

stokes said...

@ Debris:

I can just see it:

David Johnson: Today's top story: The Steelers' Casey Hampton is FAT!

Peggy Finnegan: In other news, a Penn Hills elementary school burned to the ground trapping 400 children inside. The fire was started by....

David Johnson: BREAKING NEWS! Casey Hampton is fat and cannot play football until he gets unfat. Fedjoke, what have you heard about the incident and how long until Hampton becomes unfat?

Fedjoke: Well, David, I don't know, becuase i'm a joke. But, what i can tell you is that i like high school cheerleaders and the Pirates suck, but will turn it around soon...

wilsmith said...

js, where are these 20 cent wings in jtown?

jefe penguino said...

how can you be afraid of midgets that serve you alcohol. those are the only kind i know and want to know.

brndlynn said...

in other news.....Lemieux proves once again that he is pure class. kdka just had a segment on the newest "austin's playroom" in the NEO-Natal department at West Penn.

Maria said...

Stoosh just looked into the future and recapped the 11 o'clock news. Casey Hampton is fat and cannot play football until he gets unfat. Quality.

@ jefe, his midget phobia is very confusing. I think their tiny bodies freak him out, but I'm only 5'2" and he's 6'4", so compared to him I'm practically a midget. But he's not afraid of me. I'm hoping our Casey's adventure will help him learn to love midgets, especially the kind that pour alcohol into his mouth.

akus said...

Free Laffy Taffe
____


Midget Monday-views=2,131

Apparently people only view it on Mondays, hence the lack of views ;)

Compared to,
Making Your Partner Happy =-)=40,483,428

40 million happy people!
_____
Center Ice voting is on at http://icethetics.blogspot.com/.
Bruins crushing it.

I did not vote on the IHA Altanta Fire logo.
I liked the ones they did not consider.
First & Second row on the right,
reminds me of the Flames.

Michael said...

fedko is the WORST commentator on the planet. he looks and sounds like he just hates his job. listening to him comment on high school basketball early in the morning is a combination of pure hilarity and lobsters ripping off my nipples... slowly. i don't know whether to laugh at his own banality or cry at the fact that he tries so hard to masque the fact that he wants to be somewhere else.

go pens

J.S. said...

wil, I think Phoenix has them. If not there, there's a small bar out where I used to work that I think still has .20 cent wings.

I could be wrong on both counts though. I'm guessing based on beer prices and my final tab.

12w + 2(beer) = 8.00

If beer = 2.00, then find w.

Oops, now that I do the math, maybe they are .30 cents.

J.S. said...

he probably wants to be somewhere else after the abuse he's taken in the last year or so.

KaylaJ said...

flyer fans-the midgets of the internet. gotta be afraid of their stupidity but laugh at the same time. i love how most of the comments were "they suck...but i liked this one..." and "yeah, at least our baseball team is better". and really, its not like they're doing anything original or ground breaking (i've seen crosby as the tin man before). and anyone want to explain to me what's so great about coach john stevens picture with an ace of cakes label on it?

Pittsburgh Evolution said...

I think i know that fat kid...same weight, hair color, style, height...

Pittsburgh Evolution said...

oh and im not saying it to defend him, I kinda hate him

Tony Little said...

Fedho's getting jobbed my Hanna Montana tonight.

Flyer Hater said...

Ben just farted, updates at 11.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Does anyone think Fedko will like the Hannah Montana jobbing? I mean she's young and he probably has her pictures saved to his computer ...

Flyer Hater said...

IHK, the two main numbers on Fedko's phone are Montana's and Chris Hansen's.

PDX Pens said...

voted or the first flames logo, but I liked the nonpicks. The fire ant head was pretty sweet. It needs work, but it's a cool take on the name.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Flyer Hater: Is he trying to be buddies with Hansen so he won't be on "To Catch a Predator?" *laughs*

Flyer Hater said...

IHK, it's all about knowing your enemy...

KaylaJ said...

hmm, may have to start talking to myself again

Flyer Hater said...

Like you ever stopped Kay...

MadScientist said...

Fedko will enjoy being called by Hannah Montana, without a doubt.

I still can't decide if he is creepier with or without the 'stache.

KaylaJ said...

FH sometimes i'm my own best conversationalist, just wish i agreed with myself more though

eileenover said...

If you are listed as a maybe on Facebook for Primantisblog, I need to know if you're coming by Sat. morning.

The Goon Blogger said...

Holy crap it's been a few weeks. What up C-Blog? Hope you all are doing well.

Solid stuff from Pensblog even with it being the dog days of summer.

I just have one thing to ask of my fellow C-Bloggers, am I the only one that watches Pirate games for a little Dan Potash love?

Stoosh said...

@ Eileen -

The Stooshes. We will be there.

Stoosh said...

My name is Stoosh and...

I
still
hate
company
firewalls.

Stoosh said...

Thoughts...dudes...

1. That Malkin video that Seth posted on Empty Netters is Exhibit A why Sugar Ray Shero would be out of his borscht if he ever traded the kid for anything less than guaranteed second coming of Mario Lemieux. Keep in mind that Malkin was like 18 or 19 in those clips and skating against some guys who were 10 years or so older than he is. Granted there's a hell of a lot more open ice, but still...

2. Breaking News: Ben had a couple of hard-boiled eggs at camp dinner tonight that didn't agree with him. Ben has reportedly been holed up in the bathroom for the last fifteen minutes and fuck, does it stink. We'll be going live to Dee Thompson at St. Vincent's College in just a moment.

3. The Coach Epps comments never get old.

4. Pirates get their first win in the A.X. (After Xavier) era.

5. I loved Nady when he was here, but some Pirates fans need to stop pretending we traded Mickey Fucking Mantle, eh?

6. "Me = stunned" moment. The other night on the NFL Network, I caught some replay of a Buffalo Bills game from like 1992 and Greg Brown was doing the game on radio for the Bills. I never realized he did games on the radio for the Bills. I think he even said "RAISE the Jeyyyoollleeee Raaaaahhhhjaahhhhhh" after Thurman Thomas scored a touchdown.

7. Wow. Jeff Karstens looks like he could be Jack Wilson's long-lost and drunk brother. Oops. I just made a drunk joke.

8. Look, I'm fully aware of the fact that Casey Hampton is richer than I'll ever be, and he'd whoop my ass ten ways from Saturday if for some reason I ever tried to fight him. I'm not disputing this. But the run test was eight 100-yard jogs.

Eight. 100-yard. Jogs. Not sprints. Jogs. Eight of them. And Hampton only did five?

Come on, dude. You're a professional fucking athlete. You get paid millions of dollars to specifically be in shape. I think I could go out and finish eight 100-yard JOGS, and I'm out of breath if I run up the fucking steps from the basement.

Stoosh said...

Paul Alexander and his orange tan said the highlight of camp practices today was Anthony Smith took a cheap shot at Willie Reid and it sparked a skirmish on the sidelines.

Apparently, they were talking shit about which one's career has sucked worse to this point.

Woooooo.

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.

eileenover said...

Paul Alexander and his orange tan hahahaha.

Stoosh said...

@ Eileen -

I think Paul Alexander's orange tan is a living, breathing organism all by itself...kinda like Fedko's old mustache.

eileenover said...

You're right. I didn't think anything could top Fedjoke's mustache, but that fake bake is getting pretty close.

eileenover said...

Speaking of Fedjoke, is anyone jobbing him tonight?

J.S. said...

is he on right now?

eliasjhodge said...

check out the link, vector logos of...

http://www.sports-logos-screensavers.com/Vectors.html

NHL, MLB, NFL, NBA, and others...
for freee!! go pens.

eliasjkicks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eileenover said...

No not until 11:30.

xuscbausp said...

just stoppin by and sayin hi. been mad busy with St Anns Festival and on Wednesday I'll be down the shore until Monday.

Ryan said...

i just flipped to versus to watch The Karate Kid (no, I'm not proud) only to find that the sound wasnt working. I think we can all agree that losing all audio on versus would be well worth never having to listen to their broadcasts again.

Stoosh said...

One drawback to having DirecTV is not being able to get PCN or whatever station it is that Fedko's show is on.

I Have Kasparaitis said...

@Stoosh: Yeah, I thought I had that station but I realized I don't ... I'm glad I don't have to see that idiot.

Rome was burning Hampton badly about his training camp performance. It was true which kinda annoys me because I want Jim Rome to actually be burning ...

J.S. said...

can somebody list the show on myp2p.eu?

eileenover said...

Someone better be jobbing Fedjoke, since I'm staying up to watch it.

eileenover said...

What the hell? No Fedjoke?!!

J.S. said...

dammit, no Baldwin calls after 9pm :(

Flyer Hater said...

I'm on hold, what do you want me to say?

eileenover said...

Well the hot topic seems to be Casey Hampton, so I guess you could say something about how fat he is.

Flyer Hater said...

No Fedko

Oxenjoke.

J.S. said...

comment about the Pirates being able to trade Nady and Marte because they could use Brooks Orpik as a setup man?

eileenover said...

Are you still going to say something?

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Hannah Montana should take Freddy Sanchez's place if his back spasms continue to be a problem?

Flyer Hater said...

I'm on after the break.

J.S. said...

would the Pirates be able to replace Jack Wilson with Steve-O without anybody noticing a difference at the plate?

Flyer Hater said...

It's really disheartening that I'm the only one who puts any time to performing these jobbings.

eileenover said...

I thought we weren't using Free Candy?

J.S. said...

and like Stoosh, being that I'm on Dish, can I get a shortened version of the jobbing?

Flyer Hater said...

I said, "Did Casey Hampton eat too much Free Candy in the offseason?"

He responded then I said, "Ever visited thepensblog.com?"

TheFandangler said...

Sorry FH:

I'm dying to get some of these joke Pittsburgh sports guys on TV. I was at funeral and then a family dinner so I was a little tied. I'm on a mission to get it done soon though.

sh0ez said...

I suck at jobbing or I would attempt.

TheFandangler said...

"Is your refrigerator running?... turn it off"..."Oh Shit, I mean turn it off."

TheFandangler said...

"Ahhh... go catch it?"

Flyer Hater said...

Jobbing Alby isn't any fun.

Steve In Denver said...

Late to the party...this is what you get on Hanna Montanablog.

Sweet Niblets!!!
Sorry. That phone number has already been scheduled for five calls

Steve In Denver said...

We need Don Barden's # for Hanna Montanablog.

meecrofilm said...

@steve.

sweet niblets... that's hilarious, hahah.

I'm definitely gonna try and job Fedko with a Freddy Sanchez/hanna montana replacement call tomorrow, or the day after if I fail.

Don Barden would be great, but I was thinking more along the lines from EJ Hradek.

But let's be serious here. If there were one phone number I'd go to the ends of the earth to get so I could job it, hanna montana style, it would be Hossa's.

J.S. said...

there's a John Fedkoe listed on anywho, but I doubt that's him.

sh0ez said...

John S Fedko
2148 S VILLA DR
GIBSONIA, PA 15044
Phone Unpublished


Pretty positive that's him?

Searching Intellius leads to that same result being related to Tina, which would be his wife. Has to be him.

sh0ez said...

Also says his age is 48. Sounds like a match. No number though. Lame.

sh0ez said...

If that's his real address, he lives right beside North Park where we are having Picnicblog! WE SHOULD ALL GO TO HIS HOUSE THAT DAY!

J.S. said...

"Fedkoe" is showing as age 40, while Fedko is 48.

and he has a ticket from 2006 too.

J.S. said...

woot-off!!!

USB disco ball for $5.99 + ship

sh0ez said...

FUCK! I HATE WORKING DURING A WOOT OFF!

sh0ez said...

I'm like 99% positive that the address I found is Fedko.

J.S. said...

I'm waiting for software tomorrow, so I have nothing but time. woo(t)-hoo!! At the very least, the place we're dealing with doesn't open until 830 so I'm hoping I don't find it waiting for me at 6.

I'm digging the shirt.woot today too. Depending on what or if I get anything in the morning will determine if i get a shirt.

sh0ez said...

I've never gotten a shirt. The only thing I bought was my Tablet.

I need a hard drive. Since mine crashed and all.

jefe penguino said...

my 25¢ wing adventure was kinda weak. it was so dead the waitress played pool with me during happy hour.

maybe its monday. maybe its too hot. but four weak bars still added up to one drunk fool.

sh0ez said...

According to both Google Maps and Windows Live Maps, Fedko lives in one of these two houses. I don't know which because they don't tell you which side of the road. I'm sure a mailbox would work. Ha ha.

sh0ez said...

Oops. This should be the link to one of these two houses.

J.S. said...

dammit, I gotta be up in 3 hrs....ok, probably closer to 4, so I'm out.

lol, back in a few

Flyer Hater said...

J.S., I've given up on sleep.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

I was reading truth and rumors on SI.com, and one of them kind of struck me. It mentions about what the Canucks would do if Sundin snubs them. One possible name to take over their #1 center spot would be the Capitals' Michael Nylander. I guess it goes without saying...we got a helluva team here.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

This was intriguing also:

So if the Flyers make a deal with the Panthers for Jay Bouwmeester that opens some cap space and a spot or two up front, who wants to bet that Brendan Shanahan winds up in Philly if the Rangers once and for all say no?

It came from Larry Brooks at the NY Post, so take that for what it's worth.

Flyer Hater said...

"It came from Larry Brooks at the NY Post, so take that for what it's worth."

The value of the dollar has a higher stock.

Stoosh said...

Brooks's idiocy is reaching fucking mind-numbing proportions.

Bouwmeester just signed for almost $5 million, and he's a UFA at the end of the year. Philly as it stands right now is actually a little bit over the cap, so they do need to dump some salary.

But is Paul Holmgren really dumb enough to break up his core of forwards for a defenseman? Wait...don't answer that.

I know Bouwmeester is a good one, but did Brooks bother considering that the Flyers have $40 million tied up in Briere, Richards, Gagne, Carter, Hartnell, Lupul, Timmonen and Randy Jones in 2009-10. Any move they'd make would most likely be designed to keeping Bouwmeester beyond this year, so they'd have to take 2009-10 into consideration when dealing for him. (That $12.8 million-a-year commitment to Briere and Timmonen is looking REALLY good right now, isn't it, Philly?)

To get Bouwmeester, you'd have to think they'd have to give up at least two of those core guys just to break even on the cap hits. Florida's not going to take Briere at that price, and Philly isn't going to trade Timmonen.

If I'm Florida, I'm asking at least Carter and Coburn in return. Assuming Philly would do that, they would move $6.3 million in cap space to Florida and $4.8 million would be coming back, meaning Philly would probably just barely sneak under the cap.

But they JUST signed Carter, too.

I can't imagine Holmgren is dumb enough to trade the pieces that he'd need to move to free up money to bring in Bouwmeester. I hope he is, but I don't think he is.

paul said...

one thing I found out today when i was checking out florida's salaries is nathan horton makes 4 million a year. what an absolute joke. i love the panthers.

Stoosh said...

Not sure if this has ever been posted, but this goes to show what an utter jerkoff Brooks is. I'd never seen this before...

After getting perturbed with Brooks's "Well what did you do?" question (apparently, Brooks needs hockey concepts explained to him), things go downhill right around the 0:58 mark when Tortorella refuses to answer a question from Brooks about an altercation with someone on the ice.

Tortorella loves Larry Brooks.

TheFandangler said...

Larry Brooks needs a nightly sports talk show on Pittsburgh TV.

StillsandNash said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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