Friday, June 13, 2008

Pierre McGuire = Stunned

:: Malkin says [ extension coming ] in Trib inteview.
He's thinking 5 to 6 years. Willing to accept less than Crosby.
Shrugs off trade rumors.


:: Alex Ovechkin won the Hart Memorial Trophy as the NHL's MVP.
[Going Five Hole] has the all the voting results.

Ovechkin received 128 1st place votes, 4 2nd, 1 3rd, no 4th, no 5th.
128 + 4 + 1 = 133 votes.

134 members of the Professional Hockey Writers Association voted.
One proud member of the PHWA left him off their ballot altogether.
And he's a better man because of it.

Speaking of Ovechkin, he and RBK have teamed to launch [AO's very own clothing line].
It'll capture his unique sense of style.
Which apparently is flashy and overpriced. Fitting.
Charlie was seen scouring the internet for prices.


:: The NHL Awards are consistently about as entertaining as the Denny's Senior Discount Menu.
Change is needed. That's where [Melt Your Faceoff] comes in.

:: Double K wraps the night up. [Kukla]

Charlie wrote in from his honeymoon when he saw this dress:

All that obstruction, and Zetterberg couldn't shut that down back at home.


Pensblog [Storeblog]

Stephen S. began his assault on Cafepress.
Some of his newest items uploaded:


:: According to [The Onion], Chris Osgood has claimed to have gotten to 3rd base with the Stanley Cup.

:: [We Bleed Teal] offers their bloggie awards to top hockey blogs.

:: Injury ridden Maple Leaf Kyle Wellwood broke his foot playing indoor soccer. [Sportsnet]

:: Stream complete NHL games at [Hulu]
2008 Stanley Cup Finals

[Conference Finals Game 5]

[Round Two Game 5]

[1991 Stanley Cup Finals Game 6]


Game #6
[Oh Man. PENS WIN.]
[pit.<span class=[car.<span class=
4 - 3
Next up.
Ray Whitney vs. Danny Sabourin. Game on the line.
Make a save, win the game.

17,000-plus people in the Mellon and countless watching at home, who were wincing every time Sabu faced a shot just hours before, are now chanting his name.

As Whitney approached, for the briefest of moments, you didn't hear anything.
We would all give anything for him to save it.

Then before you even knew what was going on, a roar thundered across the Mellon Arena.
Dany Sabourin raises his hands towards the Pens bench.




Go Pens



eileenover said...

May I be the FIRST to say that Malkin needs a haircut.

jefe penguino said...

ill second that

jefe penguino said...

congrats staff on the "Nailing Jokes Like Ron Jeremy" award.

jefe penguino said...

does anyone else think he could ride shotgun in a certain van??

natural hat trick.

TheFandangler said...

Pierre McGuire is a queef huffer...

Get things done Geno! (I think that may have been a misprint on the stick "Gino")

Congrats on the Teal nod guys!

BlacknGold66 said...

I want to say so many things about this post and how sick it was (Hello!, Sid hugging Sabu! That was like, Twelve years ago!!)...

... but all I can think of is Jason Voorhees this off-season!

I can't even express how awesome that would be.

"Jason Takes Manhattan" changed my life.

The dude punched a guys head CLEAN off... and it bounced into a dumptser.... and it closed... UNREAL!

God, I love this website.

Joose said...

I didn't know potato sacks have such a vibrant color palette. I want a green one.

That yellow dress is just one of the many disasters that occurred last night. What an awkward awards show.

michelle said...

I for one wouldn't date a dude wearing a number 8 guitar shirt. Just saying.

Pierre McGuire = dbag
I submitted his name to Maybe he'll win a spot on the roster??

Raybin said...

It cannot be stressed enough what a douche Pierre Maguire is.

An AO clothing line? Once again, he's the also-ran way behind the true superstar. Bwahhahaha.

If Orpik re-signs, the first thing I'm doing is getting a Free Candy van t-shirt. "Whatever. Dicks." is also life-changing.

LOVE the Friday the 13th reference for today.

tPB may want to consider signing Jason as a free agent this summer. Solid acquisition. You get a big, bad enforcer who can be counted on never to quit.

J.S. said...

Zetterberg kinda looks like the lead singer of Creed.

Creed's music = make me wanna puke, blaaaaaaah, like that, puke...

Raybin said...

And you know....Voorhees is one of the best finishers you'll find.

(These are the jokes, people)

Raybin said...

bng66 is right. If you've never seen Jason Takes Manhattan, you must.

There's one scene in a sewer where he kills a Con Ed worker by bashing his skull in with a wrench. The scene is shot in silhouette with the shadows moving up against a wall. When he brings the wrench down, what is obviously a bucket of red paint throw by someone offscreen "sprays" on the wall. Priceless.

Raybin said...

Random Sabu Memory:

I forget what game it was, but was at the Igloo during the height of Conkblock Fever. Sabourin is getting shelled. FSN is showing the replay of the latest goal when the crowd breaks into a frenzy. I knew without needing to see and said "Here comes Conklin."

I felt so bad for Sabu. Not only does he get chased from the net, but the crowd goes banana bread nuts for the guy coming into replace him.

I wish him the best no matter where he ends up. I'd much much rather see him go and Conks stay, but if we get Sabuorin, we get a backup you can depend on for 10 or 11 wins. There are far worse things.

Raybin said...

Toomanydamnpostsblog. I shut up now.

Original Nathan said...

For everyone who was complaining about Adam LaRoche yesterday, at least he's still in the majors right now. The guy the Braves got in return pitched an inning and a third last night for Richmond and didn't figure in the decision (Gonzalez finished the seventh and got two outs in the 8th; Richmond won in 13). He's still working his way back from Tommy John surgery last season, and he does this weird swaying thing like he has to take a leak when he's pitching from the windup.

Natalie said...

@eileen--I'll second you on the Malkin needing a haircut. Hell, half the team needs a haircut.

Oddly enough, I do exactly that for a living, and would gladly provide my services free of charge.

Fleury29 said...

What an outstanding way to start an offseason day.

Thanks, staff.

FireFox said...

Those silly Russians. They can play some serious hockey but damn are they scrappy looking. Hell, I don't care as long as they are putting the NHL on the map.

I didn't bother watching the NHL awards show. Just like PensBlog said, it's boring. In fact, all awards shows are boring. Just give the list of the winners and will golf clap for them.

Wait...AO won the Hart? SHOCKING!! I don't know why the NHL bothered to give us that line of BS when the T-shirt showed up a week early.

And if anyone spends money on that Pennsylvania State Champions shirt over one of the Steven S shirts, just go ahead and turn in your membership card. You are no longer allowed to be here. That shirt is really stupid and I am amazed it actually got past the "what about this?" stage.

Steven S shirts = SOLID

Sooska said...

haha Geno spoils Pierre's party.

*sings* "What's that you say Mike Milbury? Geno loves us more than you will know, wo wo wo."

Jersey Bill said...

Only problem with Pierre being a "queef huffer" is that he would have to be up close and personal with the vagine.

Raybin said...


Yep, AO deserves the Hart...all MVPs can't get their team past the first round.

Meanwhile, Malkin is a total also ran. MVPs don't elevate their game to otherworldly levels when their team's #1 goaltender and #1 star both go on the shelf for months.

Nope, it's all about STATS, BABY, STATS!

What a joke.

dying alive said...

Hooray for Geno!

Pierre still has sand in his vag about Hossa getting traded to Pittsburgh instead of Montreal. I've never seen a sports broadcaster come so close to crying on the air.

The scene is shot in silhouette with the shadows moving up against a wall. When he brings the wrench down, what is obviously a bucket of red paint throw by someone offscreen "sprays" on the wall.
If you are looking for a movie made of hilarity, I cannot recommend Raptor enough. You could make a drinking game out of continuity errors and pass out halfway through. They show a shot of Eric Roberts battling a dinosaur in a construction vehicle, and in the next shot, he's battling the same dinosaur in a completely different construction vehicle. It's not even the same color. Also, the dialogue is beyond hilarious. At one point, Roberts actually says, "Eat it, Barney." But don't just take my word for it, read the reviews here. My favorite is where the guy compares the raptors in the movie to those rubber toys that go on the end of pencils.

Also try Snake Island when you need a good laugh. I actually wrote reviews for both of these movies for another website, I wonder if they're still around.

Raybin said...

Although I guess to play devil's advocate, AO did lead the Caps' acid-fueled late season charge into the playoffs. So if stats become the tie-breaker, the Hart does belong with thim.

Raybin said...

@dying alive

I'll have to check those out.

Raptor sounds like the movie "Future War" which was featured on an episode of MST3K that I highly recommend.

caramia said...

Favorite moment of NHL Awards:

LIDSTROM wins Norris, kid who hands him trophy is wearing a Red Wings jersey with a C and a #5 that says LINDSTROM on the back.


Colin said...

I am still pissed that Nabokov did not win the Vezina. Especially after seeing those cheesedick pictures of Broeduers receeding-hairline-fauxhawk and him holding up four fingers. What a jerk.

PittHockey said...

damn, Malkin deal sounds good.

Flyer Hater said...

Pierre McGuire is starting to make Mike Milbury look credible.

PittHockey said...

so why can I now buy ovechgear, but still can't find the crosby stuff?

PittHockey said...


there's an ovechkin fidel hat


Max Power said...


Once again my friend came back with some solid intel:

1. Malkin = all but signed for long term

2. MAF = also all but signed for long term

3. Malone = probable with a pay cut to a 3 year

4. Brooks = probable on a 2 year apparently willing to take less of a pay cut than Hossa

5. Eaton = gone

6. Hossa = still up in the air

Colin said...

Max Power bringing the goodness on a Friday.

Max Power said...

@ raybin

MST3K was one of the best shows to ever grace the planet

Victor Raison said...

Pens Hockey > Money

Sooska said...

@ flyer hater- how is it possible to make Milbury look credible (in this case?) Milbury said Geno was going back to Russia to play in their elite league. McGuire=Milbury=INcredible jokes

@victor rison-right you are. if that all comes to fruition then it looks like nearly everyone is willing to sacrifice for the team. wow what a concept.

Original Nathan said...

As well as Eaton has played when he's been in the lineup, the Pens have showed that they can trot out a solid defensive corps without him. The Pens have 7-8 (depending on Goligoski's NHL readiness, and if the Pens can bring back Free Candy) NHL-caliber defensemen already, and with Eaton's salary this past season being $1.6 million, I think it's best to let him walk.

Even if both Eaton and Orpik leave, the Pens have 6 defensemen under contract who played all season in the NHL (Gonchar, Whitney, Sydor [who you'd think would be better with a year playing the Pens' system under his belt -- remember how much Gonchar sucked his first season in Pittsburgh?], Scuderi, Letang, and the USS Gill).

Original Nathan said...

Okay, Letang didn't play all season in the NHL, but he spent most of it up with the big club.

Pensgirl said...

Caramia, that's hilarious.

Pitthockey, there is some of Sid's gear at PenStation.

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following diatribe is not aimed at cblog. I know you guys weren't part of the problem. But I gotta get it off my chest.


Anybody who thought Geno was gonna be a diva about his next contract hasn't paid one bit of real attention to him. We have enough from interviews and overwhelmingly just from body language and facial expressions (how he reacts to goals, things like that) to know he's an easygoing guy and that he loves playing on this team and with Sid (remember when he "recoiled in horror" at even a joking suggestion that they didn't need Sid anymore?).

And I don't know why so many people forgot that his parents were shopping for houses when they were in town in Feb. Why would they move all the way from Russia just to live in a city their son intended to leave? That by itself said to me that he liked it here and wanted to stay.

None of us knew what his salary desires would be (and we still don't really know what they are, specifically), but the way people were jumping to the conclusion that he would OF COURSE want more than Sid were really just assuming that naturally the European would happily fuck us over for cash. Sigh.

Christina said...

that Malkin article made my day. maybe my weekend. honestly, if this comes to fruition, there's no doubt in my mind that we hit the jackpot with leaders on this team who are focused on WINNING more than CASH. and in this day and age, you never ever see that. so cool.

@ pensgirl
well said. it's sad that so many have labeled geno as the money hungry euro, when there's so much evidence to the contrary.

Shero. DO IT. (on July 1st, that is)

Stilly said...


Love the news from 1 and 2. Those were the critical long term deals. Malone would actually be doubling what he's making now, but 3 mil is probably less than what he'd make on the market. Absolutely incredible news on the candy man. I thought he was a goner for sure. I love that he's going to take less to stay, it would really suck though if he ends up getting hurt.

Whistler said...

The whole thing about AO getting the Hart is a joke.

They said that he led his team to a division title. HA. The SE division is the weakest in all hockey. Wow! What an accomplishment. He did not carry the team on his back. New Coach, other players being traded to his team. That made it easy for him.

Malkin deserved it more.. But AO is now the NHL's golden boy..

Other note..
Is it odd that I'm seeing more and more players bolt for Russia to play. I think that league there in 10 years will be a thorn in the NHL's side..

Mark my words...

Stilly said...

You know what sucks? I read the other day that Hershey Bears extended their deal with the Caps for three more seasons. It makes it hard to root for a local team when they're farming for a bunch of a-holes. At least WB/S comes to town quite a bit.

Stoosh said...

I'm shipping a case or four of beer to Rob Rossi for writing that article.


Because it was the journalistic equivalent of the Fuck You Sandwich to all the mainstream media types who plugged in their XBox360s, fired up NHL '08 and started playing Armchair Ray Shero, seeing how many different ways the next new dynasty could be broken up.

Even the post-lockout version of Craig Patrick thinks those rumors were bullshit.

Malkin was going to want a maxed-out deal - something akin to Ovechkin money and term, right?

"I'm thinking maybe five or six years," said Malkin...Malkin denied various reports he is seeking a deal in the range of the 13-year/$124 million contract signed by Washington's Alexander Ovechkin in January.

But, but, but...Malkin was going to want to make more than Sid, right? Malkin and Sid can't co-exist on the same team, right? Malkin wasn't going to want to stay somewhere where he can't be the main cog in the machine, right?

Malkin added that his annual salary did not need to top the $8.7 million teammate and Penguins captain Sidney Crosby will average each of the next five seasons. He also shrugged off speculation the Penguins will trade him this summer to create salary-cap space necessary to sign several impending free agents...

OK, well...Malkin's becoming a headcase along the lines of Jagr, right?

"I'm an easy guy to deal with. I'd love to stay in Pittsburgh." Malkin said he expects the extension will be signed "soon" after [July 1].

Mainstream rumor-mongering media = EPIC, EPIC, EPIC FAIL

Pierre Maguire, the business end of your Civil War-era bayonet is ready.

Max Power said...


In re # 3
Orpik is willing to take more of a pay cut than Hossa

My bad typo = Still drunk from dodgeball last night WOOOOOOOOOO

PittHockey said...

I've been wondering this for awhile, maybe I missed it: What song is playing on the summer penguin's ipod?

Pensgirl said...

Max Power, I was wondering about the Orpik thing because he's been so heartfelt about wanting to stay. Correctionblog clears everything up. Pensgirl = no longer confused.

Flyer Hater said...

Stoosh, I think this is the first time I've actually liked a Rob Rossi written article.

Flyer Hater said...

Hossa=1.8 mil
Malone=1.2 mil
Orpik=4.4 mil
Fleury=2.9 mil
Malkin=7.1 mil


Max Power said...

Stoosh comming with the hate. Much respect

dying alive said...

MST3K fans - you guys know that they're still around, right? They're now doing movies under the name "Film Crew." It's basically exactly the same, sans robots. It's not quite as charming, but still funny. You can also download Rifftrax from Mike Nelson's website and synch them up with popular films.

Also, Mike owns Joel.

PittHockey said...

thanks pensgirl, but I'm not in pittsburgh, so I was looking for internet stores.

Pensgirl said...

I dunno, DA, I like Mike (har) but Joel = Beast.

If you like MST3K you MUST see "Manos: The Hands of Fate."

My whole family used to watch MST3K Sunday mornings, and when that one aired we decided that it was hands down (har again) the worst of the actual movies. We graded all movies that came after it on the "Manos" scale of shitasticness.

I also remember something with Kathy Ireland, and during one of the breaks they had a Kathy Ireland acting range game, where they had pictures of her in "different" acting modes you had to guess. They were all "Dull Surprise." Ah, good times.

PittHockey said...

Hail stoosh

Jasper said...

If it's true about malkin and his contract/salary, that'd be awesome!
Also kudos to AO though.
I do agree Malkin carried his team more when Crosby was out than AO did, but you cannot deny the season and impact he had, so his trophies are well deserved imo.
And about what some ppl say, sid geno/gino and AO are all supergood players, I don't see why ppl say 1 sucks and 1 owns, if u say one of these suck you're pretty much a moron
anyway I'm very excited to see these players play in the near future

PittHockey said...

I thought it was "Los Manos: The Hands of Fate"

I thought I remembered a joke about 2 The's in the title.

fleuryous said...


That makes me rest a little more easily.

If Pierre McDouche starts anymore ridiculous rumors, I'm going to punch him in the vagina.

The awards show last night was about as funny/entertaining as a kidney stone. Oh wait.

And Voorhees added a nice touch, but I do enjoy this photo:

Happy Friday the 13th, suckas.

And I don't agree with the haircut comment.


Flyer Hater said...

With Lidstrom being the first European captain to win the Stanley Cup and now potentially, Malkin signing for less money to win, I wonder what stereotypes that Toronto fellating blowhard Cherry will spout this year to seem edgy.

fleuryous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pensgirl said...

Sorry Pitthockey, probably just ebay and the like. The website for the line is (got some sick videos there) but it only lists two retailers in Canada as places to buy.

sh0ez said...

The Malkin news made me smile. Now it's Hossa time.

MST3Kblog: I love those guys and that show. I remember my Dad watching them when I was a little guy and me not understanding them. About 2 years ago I went around trying to find copies to download. I kept three on my computer. They are coined as the worst movies (but with the best MST3K commentary). "The Final Sacrifice" (WATCH THAT ONE. FIND IT SOMEWHERE), "Manos, The Hands Of Fate" and "Santa Claus." Amazing.

I knew RiffTrax existed because I saw they did one for Cloverfield. While not as funny, them getting Weird Al to guest riff on Jurassic Park and NPH on Willy Wonka is amazing.

Oh snap. I found a great site. For all you MST3K fans, go here to watch (streaming) 85 episodes of the show. All three that I mentioned are on there. "The Final Sacrifice" is 910. "Santa Claus" is 521. "Manos, The Hands Of Fate" is 421.


Pensgirl said...

Nope, just "Manos." (I own it!)

PittHockey said...

thanks anyway, pensgirl.

I just remembered trying to buy a sweatshirt from the canadian store and it wouldn't let me.

sh0ez said...

@pensgirl: Manos is definitely the worst. Have you watched The Final Sacrifice? It is definitely the best in my opinion.

fleuryous said...


PittHockey said...

what was the one with the ninja guy climbing up a tower?

I think it was the last episode they did. :(

dying alive said...

Have you watched The Final Sacrifice? It is definitely the best in my opinion.

YES. Definitely the best episode ever. I actually posted a Youtube link to some of the highlights the other day. It also has the best host sketch of all time, Servo's song about Canada.

My top 5 MST3K:

1. The Final Sacrifice
2. Space Mutiny
3. Giant Spider Invasion
4. Squirm!
5. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

Pensgirl said...

Sh0ez, you can buy a DVD set of "Manos" and "Santa Claus" - I got it for my dad a few years ago. I know, you've got them on your computer, but if you wanted the DVD it's out there.

Here's a list of the movies that have been released on DVD.

Original Nathan said...

My favorite MST3K was when they did the short "No Springs" film with good ol' Coily.


Stilly said...

MST = Lame


Stilly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Original Nathan said...

And at one point, the Simpsons did a parody of the "No Springs" short with their "World Without Zinc" educational film.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy. That gun won't work, because the firing pin is made out of, you guessed it, zinc!"

"Come back, zinc! Come back!"

Pensgirl said...

Sh0es, what's "The Final Sacrifice" about? My family used to watch every Sunday after we'd get home from church, so I have a hard time believing I haven't seen it. But my memory for the titles isn't so great - "Manos" and "Santa Claus" are the only ones I can name off the top of my head.

Pensgirl said...

Ah, and here's the official MST3K DVD store.

J.S. said...

Hossa 1.8?

Am I missing something?

Max Power said...


sh0ez said...

@ dying alive: The Canada song is solid.

@ pensgirl: Thanks for the DVD link. I was only aware of the MST3K Digital Restoration Project where they were trying to get better master copies of the movies and release them in disk form. That rules, though! I wish they had Final Sacrifice.

Final Sacrifice was about a mullet-haired Canadian dude named Zap Rosdower. Then there was a kid in a red sweater named Troy. It was a bout a cult led by a dude that looks like the singer from My Chemical Romance. Here is a Youtube highlight reel.

sh0ez said...

I forgot the best part . . .


Pensgirl said...

J.S.: Yes, you are; keep looking at the list.

MP, I just spent a good five seconds trying to figure out what FREDOWO meant. EmilyLitellablog.

Lemme just say how much I love the power outage in DC...I'm home in my PJs on cblog instead of at work writing about agency performance measures.

Pensgirl said...

Oh my God, Sh0ez, I had to stop watching the clip early because I was laughing so hard I got into a coughing fit (I'm sick). Somehow I never did see that I MUST. You said it was on that link, right? Holy crap as soon as my cough is gone I'm watching that sucker.

Sooska said...

@shoez- Larry Csonka is in that movie? holy crap! I know what I am doing tomorrow. I LOVE MST3K!!! Manos Hands of Fate hee he god did I laugh. I don't recall Troy "off hand" but it kind of sounds familiar.

If this all comes true, for realz, can you imagine it? HONOR back in sports. (I thought Russians other Euros were soff and greedy, right Don Cherry?) I expect MSM and bloggers to offer derision in return. "Well these upstart young guys, who do they think they are? how stupid, how naive..they think they can WIN? LOLOLOL come on boys let's go gettem!"

With this Geno news, and possibly the others, I wonder what Hossa is thinking now.. "HOLY SHIT if I don't take a big pay cut to stay and win I'll look like a soff and greedy Europea.....wait. WHAT?"

sh0ez said...

@ Sooska: He isn't actually in the movie. They just mention him several times because at the beginning, it shows a photo of Troy's dad and he looks like Larry Csonka. Ha ha. Sorry to disappoint! You should still watch it, though!

The Seeker said...

Cblog Reminder

Spotlight: Building a Champion

Tonight at 11:00 PM - FSN

Watch this one-hour season recap which will make its debut on FSN Friday night at 11pm. It will also re-air throughout the summer.

The building has begun. Evgeni Malkin stepped in and “stepped up” his game when Sidney Crosby went down with injury. Marc-Andre Fleury took his game and the Pens to new heights after missing almost three months of the season. The trade deadline acquisitions of Marian Hossa, Hal Gill and Pascal Dupuis, a perfect ending to a perfect day at the Winter Classic, and the exciting playoff run to game six of the Stanley Cup Finals. Rob King, Jay Caufield, Paul Steigerwald and Dan Potash will recap the 2007-08 Penguins in "Spotlight: Building a Champion."

Flyer Hater said...

seeker, that special is going to change the world.

dying alive said...

My favorite MST3K was when they did the short "No Springs" film with good ol' Coily.

No springs? I don't care! There's still butter and meatloaf!

becky said...

MSTblog = final sacrifice; "is this touching or boring?"
never seen Squirm - looking forward to hunting it down.

StephenSblog = angry spitting pen on my tit-hays. rad.

Dan said...

MST3K movies where they did "This Island Earth" was classic.

if don cherry reads that article about geno he will have a gay heart attack and charlie will have to give him mouth to mouth. his suits might kill themselves

The Seeker said...

I heard the price of oil will drop 50% after the FSN special airs.

Stilly said...


Agreed. Now that Geno has made it clear that he doesn't want 9.5, we can figure he'll get around 8 or 8.5. At least then we'll know where we stand against the cap.

It's also bonus if Orpik gives the market the business and stays for less than he'd get otherwise. That'd be huge.

Jasper said...

Spotlight: Building a Champion
Tonight at 11:00 PM - FSN

damn, I wish I could watch that, I don't have that channel ;<

Pensgirl said...

Rob King, Jay Caufield, Paul Steigerwald and Dan Potash

Careful, your TV might explode with that lineup. BEASTS (yes, even Steigy).

Stilly said...

Me neither jasper

Effing Comcast in effing Harrisburg doesn't carry FSN Pittsburgh. Effing Williamsburg Estates (my effing apartment complex) charges effing 250 bucks to effing put up an effing satellite dish to get effing dish network or effing directv. I'm thoroughly pissed about that.

The Seeker said...

I heard the price of oil will drop 50% after the FSN special airs.

Of course this rumor came from Pierre McGuire so......

uncleyorgi71 said...

Does anybody have a clip or know where to get one of the "LINDSTROM" jersey on the kid who passed out the Norris?

The Seeker said...

If you don't get FSN - Pittsburgh, don't get too upset.

I have a feeling it'll get uploaded to YouTube or a similar site.

The Seeker said...

@ uncleyorgi71

Here's a YouTube video of the kid with the LINDSTROM's at the 2:05 mark of the video.

Chad said...

Re MST3K top 5:

My top 5
1) Prince of Space
2) Invasion of the Neptune Men
3) Final Sacrifice
4) Space Mutiny
5) Quest of the Delta Knights

Re Max Power:

Good news. Good news indeed.

Stephen S. said...

@pitthockey -close-up of the iPod:

Stoosh said...

@ UncleYorgi -

I can't find a clip, but how about a pic of some EPIC "LINDSTROM" FAIL?

Dan said...

@ max powers - congratulations?

Jasper said...

lmao @ lindstrom jersey

snickerdoodles said...

One of my favorite MST3K movies is Final Justice. Somebody actually thought Joe Don Baker would make a great romantic lead. Back in the Walking Tall days, yeah. But when Final Justice was made back in the mid 80's, umm no. I also love the Final Sacrifice. You know you are in for a real theatrical experience when your male lead is named Zap Rowsdower.

Oh, I cant forget the Giant Spider Invasion. Or the Horrors of Spider Island.

Now I am going to be thinking about MST3K movies instead of working!!!

Watch out for Hockey Hair! Or Grizzled old Prospectors Disease!

debrisslide said...

@chad - Prince of Space is my favorite too. I have it on DVD. It's the only Mike episode in my top 5. . .I'm in love with Joel.

The rest of the NHL = fail, btw.

Going to see Hulk today. AWESOME.

xuscbausp said...

good morning cblog.
(hey its morning for me).

im heading out soon to watch the Dutch take on France. As a finishing touch God created the Mighty Dutch!

Pensgirl said...

Anybody see Dr. Mirtle post on the end-year "all star" teams? Some joke actually gave Osgood a vote for the Lady Byng. I had to double-check I wasn't still reading The Onion.

PittHockey said...

stephen s for the epic win

dying alive said...

I can't believe I forgot to add Time Chasers on my top five MST. I guess that makes it #6. It's so, so bad. During Mike's intro he talks about how the people who made the movie were fans of the show, and they were all excited when they found out it was going to be getting MST'ed. Then they were all stunned when they saw how bad Mike and the bots ripped into it. Ha.

I prefer Mike over Joel for the same reason I prefer Bill Corbett over Trace Beaulieu as Crow - he's meaner.

Colin said...

Stephne S's link does not work for me. Pitthockey, can you fill me in on what it is?

Patrick said...

Those are some nasty shirt designs. That's all I gotta say.

PittHockey said...

best mst3k joke ever:

In 1994 and 1995, Mystery Science Theater 3000 was nominated for the Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Writing for a Variety or Music Program, but lost both times to Dennis Miller Live.

<3 wikipedia

PittHockey said...

colin: Muse - Knights of Cydonia

aka the song from the comic book jumbotron video

Raybin said...

All this MST3K blog does my heart good. Probably my #1-with-a-bullet favorite show ever.

Some of my favorites, in no particular order:

Danger: Diabolik (That's the last one for whoever asked)
The Final Sacrifice
Space Mutiny
Time Chasers
Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell
Prince of Space
Manos, the Hands of Fate
The Mole People

Honorable mentions to: Hobgoblins, The Leech Woman, Alien From L.A., The Beginning of the End, Horror at Party Beach, Boggy Creek 2: And the Legend Continues, It! Flys By Night, Quest of the Delta Knights, Touch of Satan and the last part of Overdrawn at the Memory Bank ("I'M INTERFACING!")

Raybin said...

Also: Mike > Joel. Had to be said.

I actually love Time Chasers so much I actually drove to Vermont and visited Castleton University ("You Castleon snob!") and bought a Castleton shirt like the one the hero had. (Okay, not exactly...they didn't sell one. But I got the nearest match i could find)

Max Power said...

@ dan

Tis a good thing. Astrologically we weren't meant for each other.
For you see, I'm a pisces and she's a whore. She ran bangoneofmybestbudsblog.

Stoosh said...

Reverting back to Jefe Penguino's earlier posts to open this thread, I'm still creeped out by that Datsyuk photo.

Yesterday, I made the comment that he reminded me of Crispin Glover.

To hell with that.

After looking at that picture that Jefe posted, I knew I had seen Datsyuk in film (and my nightmares) before.

Just to's Datsyuk.

Here's Datsyuk as the Tall Man from Phantasm.

John said...

@ colin

I have a similar picture of a pint of Guinness from the top of the storehouse. Dublin is great.

Raybin said...

Coming soon:

Willem Dafoe in:


Co Starring:

Ron Howard's Happy Days self as Chris Osgood

Zach Morris from Saved By the Bell But With Dark Hair as Henrik Zetterberg

and The Dr. Chilton Silence of the Lambs Guy as Mike Babcock.

Sooska said...

@stoosh with those bug eyes he kind of reminds me of Free Candy but with that clean cut look it's more like Ted Bundy

Sooska said...

...and may I add to MST3Kblog - you cannot successfully eat salad and hear the words "my dad lost everything when he invested in lemon mines," or "Leif Garret today." OMGOODGAWDGary!

Dan said...

@ max - i'm guessing he is no longer one of your best buds. perhaps you should give hank scorpio a call.

Raybin said...

Favorite Final Sacrifice line:

ROWSDOWER: "It's a cult."

SERVO: "They worship blue oysters."

ROWSDOWER: "Their race used to rule this land once."

MIKE: "They ruled this one acre for about a week. Nobody knew."

jefe penguino said...

i watched the awards show, but, for some reason, i actually enjoyed reading about last years awards show disaster from the link in the last post. longest blog ever though.

i did like the part where patrick kane said he had to keep his teammates away from his 3 sisters. (also, he was the only one i could understand)

next years show should be worth watching. clean sweep for the pens!

Max Power said...

@ jefe

I'm not too fond of your avatar pic. It looks like a chalk out line of the pens logo. Like the logo go murdered and they moved the body and left the chalk mark behind.

jefe penguino said...

@max -ohh i didnt think of that. but its actually my hat. all black with gold around it. i wanted a darker pic for the off-season. think of it as a chalk outline around the team until next season is ready to go, then ill switch up.

Zac Wassink said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
xuscbausp said...

how has pensblog changed my life?
my friend was just telling me how she got mugged at knifepoint. my first thought?


Stilly said...

Wow Italy just got jobbed by the refs. I'll bet IHK is somewhere weeping.. hahaha.

Colin said...

@ john -

I was never crazy about Guinness until I had a pint in Dublin. Now I am hooked like you wouldn't believe.

@ pitthockey -

Thanks for the heads up on the ipod. Much appreciaited.

@ stilly -

Add me to those who are distraught about Italy drawing with Romania at halftime.

Sooska said...

@xuscbausp -my most recent phrase at work is "what a mistake," a phrase correct for many occasions, and versatile enough for use as sarcasm, snark or sympathy.

Colin said...

@ xuscbausp -

Whenever I am impressed by someone else work I always say "what an auditor."

Stilly said...

I find myself using the phrase "all business" alot. This blog has surely warped my mind as well.

xuscbausp said...

haha glad to see im not alone.
and with that, im off to watch the Dutch. take care, cblog

lis said...

My first time at a real link so I hope it works!

Ottawa has new whipping boy>

PittHockey said...

I wonder how long he'll last.

Over/Under: 3 months

Joose said...

I forgot it is Friday the 13th. What the fuck. I'll probably be spending it alone, too.


lis said...

until murray fires him and puts himself behind the bench....again!

Stoosh said...

@ Lis -

That sound is me giggling my ass off at the thought of Craig Hartsburg coaching the Sens.

Colin said...

I was born on a Friday the 13th with a full moon.


Joose said...

Stilly, I find myself saying "joke" a lot to describe people lately. I've said, "No dice," once or twice. I love it. I also smile every time I read "jobber." I have yet to say it out loud, though. The time will come.

jefe penguino said...

hmm i hope the draft is deep with good players to pick 120.

not aloud, but i add the word -blog to a lot of things.


Sooska said...

Craig Hartsburg? I wonder what flaw he has that is worth exploiting that is as much fun as the lisp. aw thhucks.

Original Nathan said...

Sooska: The fact that he's a shitty coach?

Except that's not something physical...

Dr. Turkleton said...

@joose said:

I also smile every time I read "jobber." I have yet to say it out loud, though. The time will come.

where's Michelle at???...when she sat behind me at Game 3.5...she used every phrase right out of tPB/cblog handbook on a continuous loop...I must have heard 'buries it' 20 times before the 1st tv timeout.
I think she said she was wicked drunk, so maybe that's the key...


Tiger = still a dick.

rachele,rachele: Choi will be kickin' ass & takin' names later today...I think your Dougherty W/D after yesterdays performance...

Why, you ask? balls.

my Padriq = fail.

[Hossa: 17:7]

Raybin said...

I'm running boredatworkblog right now, so I thought it might be fun to go over and job Pierre Maguire's Wikipedia page.

Someone beat me to it:

Sick of Pierre and his annoying antics? Sick of his unbelievably biased opinions? Drink your sorrows away with the Pierre McGuire Drinking Game!!

Drink when he says: Phaneuf, Parise, Monster, Whammo!, el-Kabong, Real Deal, Puck Poise, Big Body Presence, mentions a Staal brother who isn't playing, reminds us who wanted Downie in the draft, and lastly giggles at any point during the game

This is a sure fire way to get wasted enough to forget that Pierre is talking!


Thanks to the Wikidouches, it'll doubtless soon be gone, sad to say.

Dr. Turkleton said...

@sooska said:

Craig Hartsburg? I wonder what flaw he has that is worth exploiting that is as much fun as the lisp.

He's got a great John Houseman name: Craig HartsBURG. Did you turn in your assignment, Mr. HartsBURG?

gotta support the team.

[Hossa: 17:7]

Sooska said...

@dr turk- a Paper Chase reference?

Joose said...


I've never been drunk in my life, and I'm 22. I don't know what that says about me, positive or negative.

Dr. Turkleton said...


Alec BERG...gave Jerry some playoff tickets, but Jerry didn't thank him for....Jerry calls him back & to 'thank' him & to get the next games' tickets & starts off with the John Houseman line...

same episode w/ Puddy, as the facepainter. THE DEVILS!!!!! EL DIABLO!!!!!!

sorry for the spoiler, BNG66...

Flyer Hater said...

Hartsburg? Was Gordon Bombay unavailable? Spezza and Heatley would look damn good in the Flying V.

PittHockey said...

I have found a solution to my movie boredom

Dr. Turkleton said...


after turning 21 about 254 years ago, the whole 'drunk' thing became overrated for me, IMO.

Now, getting a good buzz on = different story.

I'm sure your brain & liver appreciate your limitations!!!!

She held her alcohol well, I couldn't tell...I guess I should have realized that drowning out John Barbarros voice was a sign, though. [just kidding, Michel'le]

dying alive said...

My favorite Final Sacrifice line is right at the beginning, when the geek is staring at his father's grave.

Geek: Hi dad, it's been a long time. I miss you. I want to know what happened to you.
Mike: I died.

Honorable mentions to the following:
Nobody leaves the World Wrestling Federation!

I wonder if there's beer on the sun?

Geek: Did you know him?
Crazy Prospector: Know him?
Crow (I think): He was delicious!

Villain: Hold him down!
Mike: And take away his blow comb!

I can't believe that when I moved I put my copy of this into storage. :(

RaCHeLeYoS said...

dr. T - +9....that is terrible. for somebody who finished tied for 7th last yr in the open....i am STUNNED! I think he gave up on himself. maybe K.J will have more luck. and once again, as far as I watched, Dougherty with no tv time. Tiger Woods with about 90% of it (which is bad, because he hasnt even teed off yet).


Sooska said...

@dying alive - I wonder if there's beer on the sun?
that was the third line that made me lose my salad.

Original Nathan said...

Whoever did the list on McGuire's page forgot "Active Stick," but it's fixed now.

Sooska said...

@nathan- re the physical flaw -as you said bad coaching is not physical so it must be mental - to quote Max:

But I think, physically, it's more mentally than anything, if you can understand what I'm saying. Because I can't."

Dr. Turkleton said...

rachele....and I think Oakmont is 100X tougher than Torrey Pines...oh, his game this week.

We can always root for Greensburgs Son: Rocco Mediate!

Tigercam/Johnny Miller fellatio doesn't start until about 4:30p-ish EST.

The Big K said...

Does anybody else think it's a joke that Pierre actually has a job with NBC and TSN, and that he is even an accredited member of the media? He just spews false bullshit everywhere, and I'm sick of him.

RaCHeLeYoS said...

dr. T - i know!!! oakmont is one of the toughest courses. over it. at least Cabrera is also slacking.

Joose said...

Big K

Name one person in the media who doesn't spew bullshit.

Max Power said...

@ joose

That's easy: Don Cherry

jefe penguino said...

to celebrate fridaythe13thblog, im gonna catch a creeper flick. the Strangers will do. maybe the Happening. maybe both. im leaving now before i read any of your bad reviews. should be back in about +/-314 comments.

and ill see yinz, later.

PittHockey said...

chatblog makes me want to golf.

and so I shall. later.

fleuryous said...

McGuire drinking game=classic.

Also, maybe drink everytime he mentions Detroit and how well-endowed they are.

Take a paycuuuuuuut.
If you leave, I'll be
emogirlblog :(.

Joose said...

Max, you are a wise one.

Max Power said...

Has anyone heard about that dumbass NY guy that jumped out of the plane with his camera crew and friends but forgot to put on his chute? Hillarious.

Joose said...

HAHA I was just looking at my results on the "Compare People" application on Facebook, and 0 out of 4 people voted me as "More Well-Mannered."

What a fucking joke!

eileenover said...

Jason Voorhees FTW!

Sooska said...

OMG - Hey Tiger and your lover Randall Mell!

the first line: If the U.S. Open is really about who can endure the most pain and suffering, Tiger Woods is still the man to beat.

Playing thru the Pain
see. Ryan. Malone.
what a headline. what a mistake.

Dr. Turkleton said...

Tigger's in the perfect Win-Win Situation:

Win the US Open = may be the greatest single individual accomplishment in the history of mankind [/golf media]

Lose the US Open = blame the wonky knee.BUT TOTAL.GUTS. un-humanlike to complete at that highest of levels so soon after arthroscopic knee surgery [/slurping golf media]

sooska...there's at least ONE guy in the 'media' who gets it

maybe Tigers head will explode: THAT would be MUST SEE T.V. this afternoon!!!

Stoosh said...

I normally can't stand Chris Mack on ESPN Radio 1250 and even worse, they have him and Ken Laird working Madden's old time slot today. But for the first five minutes of the show, Mack has done nothing but blast Laird for Laird's incessant support of the "trade Malkin" rumors in lieu of Rob Rossi's "Malkin's not going anywhere" article this morning.

Laird, of course, pulls the "well, we don't know if everything Rossi wrote is true" thing. Laird is backpedalling faster than Deshea Townsend trying to cover Randy Moss right now.

Stilly said...

It'd be sweet if his knee fell apart while he was teeing off on a par five. I'd watch him collapse on youtube about a million times.

RaCHeLeYoS said...

stilly - that's kinda brutal!!

Joose said...

Tiger Woods is a joke!

Stilly said...

I really hate Tiger Woods. haha.

Victor Raison said...

Not only does his knee hurt, he got a paper cut from his scorecard on the 2nd hole, and he's still playing.

I am inspired.

Sooska said...

@dr turk-- word. I had arthroscopic knee surgery too and was back walking THAT DAY! I could have played golf the day after and carried my own clubs. This is a great achievement? You may talk to me when you have had a TKR, Tiger, and even then, 80 freaking YOs do it every day. What jackass douchebaggery.

Dr. Turkleton said...

Tiger Woods' Bionic Knee

I KNEW Nike™ could rebuild him.

What's Johnny Miller gonna talk about for 1.5 hours on NBC before Tigger tees off?

Sooska said...

HAHAHA!! dr turk!

RaCHeLeYoS said...

Dr. T - that is hilarious.

watching golf is so boring...i don't know how i put myself thro this. i guess i'm just learning so much about it. i'm gonna start golfing now.

Max Power said...

PA steppin its up again!

We are alll winners!>

Sooska said...

@ max power- "criminal weirdness" is the news category? Isn't that edited by Pierre McGuire and Don Cherry? to name but a few.

Dr. Turkleton said...


wonder if he's of any relation to cblogs sh0ez.


he had knee surgery last Wednesday.

Joose said...

Shoemaker? A relative of Sh0ez, perhaps.

Joose said...


We are one.

Stoosh said...


Pens file for salary arbitration with Marc-Andre Fleury.

Dr. Turkleton said...



that was the 1st thing I thought of when I saw the name...

tPB/cblog has warped my mind!!!

Sooska said...

@stoosh - I was right the other day! Shero does play poker.

Stilly said...

King Shero is buying negotiating time. Hopefully that's not a bad sign.

Dr. Turkleton said...


Tim Russert just passed away!!!!!

Dr. Turkleton said...

they said he just collapsed at work & died....

Tom Brokaw reporting now after breaking into NBC Golf....

TheNWChica said...


I love Geno's hair like that, but then I like Bing's all long and curly too. (/ bunny moment)

Oh, and not to sound ungrateful since I'm very excited to see the new shirts in storeblog from the great Stephen S; but could we get other colors for the van on the FreeCandy shirt besides pink for the plus sizes? While I'm definitely a member of the XX faction, I just don't wear pink is all. Thank you for your consideration on this!

Christina said...

i'm liking that move by King Shero. more time to get deals done for those about to hit UFA. i think MAF and the Pens will have a deal done before they go to arbitration.

shocked at the Tim Russert news....

Sooska said...

Tim Russert>tigger

Stoosh said...


This is why Shero is a genius.

1. This absolutely guarantees that he will be under contract for 2008-09.

2. The arbitration hearings don't start until at least July 20, so this buys the team at least three weeks to see how the unrestricted free agent market pans out and what happens with their other free agents like Orpik, Hossa, Malone, etc. They can then work MAF's money in as the market works itself out.

3. This MIGHT (slight chance) be an indication that Fleury and the Pens are far apart on terms, but given Shero's insistence that an extension will be negotiated, I don't think that's the case. The market for goaltenders is pretty cut and dry. Fleury is ultimately going to get Cam Ward-type money - I'd say about $3M per year for three or maybe four years. That'll take him until he's about 26-27 years old and at that point, you'll know for sure if you want to make a much longer commitment to him as the franchise goaltender.

People said Shero needed to get creative to make some of this happen, and this is step #1.

Sooska said...


Sooska said...

@stoosh- do you think it is possible Fleury agreed to this move?

Dr. Turkleton said...

just reading thru the CBA about this Club-Elected Salary Arbitration instead of just issuing him a standard Qualifying Offer seems to be a shrewd move by King Shero.

At least puts his contract on the 'back burner' like Christina mentioned to focus on UFA's in the short term.

NHLPA CBA Salary Arbitration on pg 52

Joose said...

Noose Necklaces courtesy of Disney.

Who thinks of this shit? What a smart marketing idea...

sexymexyjeffy said...

t checking out we bleed teal and their over abundance of hacksaw usage. i was curious how they signed him when free agency doesnt begin till july 1st;)

Max Power said...



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