Tuesday, April 8, 2008

In sports, there is nothing like the NHL playoffs.

16 teams enter.
One emerges from the two-month battle as the true champion.

The NHL playoffs will take you to places you didn't think you could go.
Every face-off is magnified. A shot from the point could change your life.
Names no one has ever heard of will rise above and become heroes.

Cities will rally and dreams will crumble.

Welcome to the show.


To help us paint a better picture, we contacted bloggers from all the playoff teams.
Some got back us, some didn't.
Thanks to those who participated.

We also have gathered a panel to submit their picks.

Our panel of prophecy-makers includes:

Dr. James Mirtle

Kevin From [ Barry Melrose Rocks ]

Pensblog Adam

Pensblog Derek

Pensblog Canaan

Pensblog Charlie


Pensblog Chris

SnoopyJode from [ The Sidney Crosby Show ]


#8 Nashville Predators

#1 Detroit Red Wings

-- Predators blogger --

No dice

-- Red Wings blogger William from [ Abel To Yzerman ] --

I guess mainly because we understand the rules of society, where Bubba doesn't. For the most part, we keep our hands off our relatives, don't eat meat that's been prepared on the shoulders of our nation's freeways and we have much more depth from line one to four. Dan Ellis worries me a bit, but not enough to see this going any longer than five games. Nice story that Bubba made the playoffs. We're happy for the less than one percent of Tennessee who have any idea what hockey is. But that's where it ends...again.


#7 Calgary Flames

#2 San Jose Sharks

-- Flames blogger Kent from [ FiveHoleFanatics ] --

This is a mis-match of Biblical proportions. Pure David versus Goliath. Except rather than wielding a stone and a sling-shot, David (Calgary) is instead armed with little more than an attitude and a rapidly melting blob of cherry jello.

Qualitatively speaking, the Sharks are a bigger, faster and younger team than the Flames. They have a less physical but more mobile defense that lacks a big-time difference maker like Phaneuf, but is far more solid from 1 to 6 than Calgary's hodge-podge back-end. While a couple of San Jose's forwards had relatively disappointing regular seasons (Marleau, Cheechoo), one has to admit their depth and quality up-front also exceeds that of the Flame's, who have a few big guns and a lot of dead-weight otherwise.

Quantitatively speaking, the Sharks are a superior team in terms of just about every metric you can think of: they have the best PK in the league (85.8%) and the 8th best PP (18.8%). They also have the 2nd best GD (goal differential) in the Western Conference (+29). In contrast, the Flames special teams both lurk near the bottom third of the NHL (PP - 16.8% - 20th, PK - 81.4% - 20th) and they have the second lowest GD of all the play-off bound teams (+2), ahead of only the Boston Bruins. It's worth noting that Calgary had a negative GD until the 7-1 shellacking of a demoralized Vancouver Canuck squad in the final game of the year...

Just to add to the ill-tidings, San Jose was objectively the best team around by a fair margin during the final quarter of the season: they gathered 38 of a possible 42 points and scored 25 more goals than they gave up. On the other hand, Calgary limped it's way into the post-season, garnering 26 points out of a possible 42, with a median +5 GD, despite what many would call a decidedly soft schedule down the stretch.

Is there any good news?

It's considered sacrilege in some corners of sports fandom to speak ill of your chosen squad. So, for those who favor *Cheerleader!* flavored sentiment, here's my best effort at putting a silver lining on this rather dark cloud.

Just about the only measure that sees the Flames come out on top is GF - Calgary scored 7 more goals than the San Jose this season. Although the Sharks were a better PP team, the difference is made up by Calgary's superior ES (even-strength) prowess: Flames were actually the 12th best team at scoring 5on5 this year (145) while the Sharks weren't quite so adept, managing just 131 ES goals (20th). The difference between ES goals for and goals against for each team was actually quite similar (+9 for the Sharks, +10 for the Flames) again with a slight edge going to Calgary.

Clearly, the Flames primary strategy going into round one should be to take as few penalties as possible. The more time the teams spend at 5on5, the better Calgary's chances of success.

Aside from that, Flames fans can only hope that their team can fashion another Cinderella run similar to their march to the finals in 03-04. While the team managed just middling results during the regular season, Calgary does have a number of difference makers that are capable of single-handedly dominating games and snatching victories from the jaws of defeat: Jarome Iginla (50 goals, 98 points, top scorer in the Western Conference), Dion Phaneuf (17 goals, 60 points, potential Norris candidate) and Miikka Kiprusoff (lack luster stats, but probably the best Flame over the final 20 or 30 games). In fact, all three were major reasons why Calgary ended up winning the season series versus the Sharks this year* (3-1). So there's at least some possibility of success if one or more of these guys gets hot.

*(the wet blanket fact - Calgary played played all their games against the Sharks before San Jose's big run in the final quarter of the season.)


There's hope, but it's slim hope at best. The Sharks enter the play-offs as probably the hottest team in the league and one the juggernauts of the Western Conference. The Flames, for their part, enter the post-season quietly and through the back door; their chances of victory resting on the small possibility the Goliath they face is allergic to cherry jello.

-- Sharks blogger Jason from [ We Bleed Teal ] --

The Sharks have been one of the top teams in the NHL over the last three seasons, and this year has been no exception. Unless you've been living in a cave the last month and a half (Osama is that you?) our run during the tail end of this year has been epic- 11 game winning streak, going undefeated in regulation during the month of March etc. But regular season success doesn't mean jack when it comes to the playoffs.

Playoffs = The Real McCoy.

To put it in perspective, think back to your senior prom. You worked hard all year and got the hottest girl at school as your date. But come prom night you drink too much whiskey, and end up throwing up in the bathroom while she gives your buddy a handjob on the dance floor. That's what it felt like last year- the Sharks losing to the Wings in the second round, and watching the Ducks bring home the Cup just down the coast.

But you learn from these things.
[ You get a new haircut ], go out and get ripped at the gym. Next year you're sleeping with half the population at your University while she's turning tricks at the community college down the street and he's selling silverware out of his parents garage. So is life.

The Sharks personnel is stacked. Captain Patrick Marleau has proven playoff scoring ability, Evgeni Nabakov is a front runner for the Vezina this year, and Joe Thornton is one of the best players in the game. Add in the veteran leadership of Jeremy Roenick, the addition of Brian Campbell at the blueline during the trade deadline, and the Sharks are poised to make a Cup run. What about the disappointing second round exits of years past? The stigma that the Sharks can't win when it comes to the postseason?

Baloneyblog. Team Teal is for real this year.


#6 Colorado Avalanche

#3 Minnesota Wild

-- Avalanche blogger Joe from [ Mile High Hockey ] --

Watching the Minnesota Wild play hockey is like watching the New Jersey Devils play hockey. Sleep-inducing. At least the Devils have some great history and three spots on the side of the Stanley Cup. The Wild, not so much. The Avalanche have history, too, but they had to dig it out of the graveyard just to make the playoffs. But even in zombie form, Peter Forsberg is still a better hockey player than Marian Gaborik. 14 points in 9 games, all played on a weak groin and a bionic ankle. Add to the mix Foppa's hall-mates at the nursing home, Adam Foote and Joe Sakic, and we're talking about a killer lineup---for 2001. If the granddads can keep their bodies in one piece, Paul Stastny survives the pressure of his first playoff series, and Jose Theodore's Pimp Cane remains strong, the Avs should beat the Wild in six games. From there it's anyone's guess.

-- Wild blogger John from [ Wild Puck Banter ] --

The Wild will soundly thump the Colorado Avalanche for the following three reasons:

1. Jose Theodore. Yes, I know he's been very good this year, but he's not a playoff goalie. Colorado's run-and-gun style is fun to watch, but it will result in many odd man Wild rushes that will leave No. 60 yearning for Paris Hilton.

2. Senior Discount. There are too many old farts on Colorado's team. A playoff team can get by with one or maybe two older leaders, but this team is riddled with them. And it's a virtual lock that Foppa will miss at least a game in this series with some sort of ailment.

3. The Bible. If you take a look at Leviticus 4:3 it says "Never shall a group of triumph over those from up North ."

Ok, I'm reaching a bit on that last one, but I truly do believe the Wild have a good chance here. They're just a better defensive team, and that goes a long way this time of year.
I'll take the Wild in 5.


#5 Dallas Stars

#4 Anaheim Ducks

-- Stars blogger Agent J. from [ The ShootOut ] --

So everyone is saying that Anaheim is the "team to beat" in the playoffs this year, that it's their cup to steal. Well I've got my ski mask ready. So what if you have home ice. So what if the Stars haven't been out of the first round of the playoffs in the last few seasons. So what if the Stars are the 'under-under dog'. So what if the Stars had the worst March ever. Things can change. 2-1-1. That's the Stars record when playing in Anaheim this season. 3-1. The record against the Ducks when playing on home ice. What does that tell ya? I think it tells you that the Stars owned the Ducks this season, and post season will be no different. The season ended with the Stars getting over whatever mental block they had in the month of March to 'get back to their winning ways' as coach Tipp would put it. Quack Quack Mr Ducksworth. Round 1 is ours.

-- Ducks blogger Earl Sleek from [ Battle Of California ] --

While there’s many reasons for the Ducks to fear the Stars this spring (Dallas won the season series 5-2-1, outscoring Anaheim 24-14), I’m hopelessly optimistic. After all, it’s tough to project Anaheim’s playoff success when so many key players missed so much of the season (Niedermayer & Selanne’s retirement adventure, Chris Pronger’s suspension, Corey Perry’s injury, among others). Instead of drawing too many conclusions from the regular season series, then, here’s three fun facts about this series for you Penguins fans with bedtimes:

1 Are two Conn Smythe Trophies better than one? This series will feature three of the last four Smythe winners (in fact, three of the six still playing hockey today): J.S. Giguere (2003), Brad Richards (2004), and Scott Niedermayer (2007).

2 Long time no see. This series is the first Pacific vs. Pacific playoff series in five years, when these two teams met in the second round of 2003 (7th-seeded Anaheim beat the 1st-seeded Stars in six tight games). Since then, the Ducks have won seven playoff series; the Stars have won none.

3 Is Turco vs. Giguere as big a mismatch as it seems? Both these goaltenders made their playoff debuts in the spring of 2003, but despite having reasonably close statistics in GAA and Sv%, have gotten quite different results:

Playoff Stat

J.S. GiguereMarty Turco

Career W – L

31 – 13

11 – 18

GAA, Sv%

1.96, 92.9%

2.21, 90.9%

OT Record

12 – 1

2 – 8

Seeds beaten*

1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6


Seeds lost to*


3, 4, 7, 7

* only includes series where the goalie started every game

It’s going to be a tough road for the Ducks to repeat; like last year there seems to be no easy road through the west, and nearly every team is thirsty for Duck blood. Still, I can’t complain; it’s been a crazy season for Anaheim, and they’re already a huge step better than the Hurricanes in defending their cup title.

Go Ducks.



#8 Boston Bruins

#1 Montreal Canadiens

Both the team bloggers we emailed never responded so whatev.

Boston ain't winning this series.

Barry's take:

I'm not sure that even Habs fans believe it yet, but they're the top dogs in the East. Against all reasonable logic and probabilities, they did it. Maybe they'll be this year's Canadian choke job. You know what I mean. The fourth Canadian team in a row to choke out in the Finals. But in all seriousness, do we even have to play this series? Give the Habs a bye.

#6 Philadelphia Flyers

#3 Washington Capitals

-- Flyers blogger Matt from [ 700 Level]

The Flyers enter their series with the Caps as healthy as they've been all season, and they're going to need the depth, as the Caps are about as hot as a team can be right now. Big props to Washington for their turnaround (I believe I called their coach Bruce Who?dreau when they hired him), but I think their run ends here. The Flyers' mix of tested veterans and talented young goal scorers on the Flyers provides one of the most important ingredients of a long playoff run—depth. They're also a gritty team, and they'll have to be to slow down the game's greatest player in Alex Ovechkin. Some games they'll succeed, and others he'll likely be unstoppable, but the battle will be great to watch, as evidenced by every game of the series being on national television.

However, a long playoff run also takes great defense and goaltending, two areas that have been fairly inconsistent for the Orange and Black this year. But Marty Biron notched two shutouts to close out the season, one against the Devils in what John Stevens and many players called their best game of the year, and another against the sharpshooting Pens, when Michel possibly threw a game so he wouldn't have the fate the Capitals now face. (Aside to Pens fans: Didn't that bother you? All jobbing aside, this rivalry has been great this season; don't you feel cheated at how it ended, and also not to walk away a 1 seed?)

Mike Richards has played at a very high level since returning from injury, with several game winners and some outstanding forechecking, and future "A" Jeff Carter has stepped it up, falling just a goal short of 30. Not bad for a third-line center. Danny Briere has finally come around with the addition of Vinny Prospal, and each of the top 3 lines can score in bunches, with seven Flyers forwards notching more than 20 goals this year. Speaking of Briere, the Flyers need to limit the dumb penalties, and um "capitalize" when they're on the man-up, and—most importantly—they need to dominate the game when AO is off the ice.

Philly is already buzzing about this series, and despite finishing with more points than the higher seeded division winning Caps, we're not taking them lightly at all. This is going to be a great series, and talks of road trips to DC are already underway, so the "Let's Go Flyers" chants will be heard even at the away games (not uncommon in DC).

-- Capitals blogger Eric McErlain from [ Off Wing Opinion ]

My God, it's been so long since the Caps were in the Patrick Division that I don't exactly know what to feel about playing the Flyers. Sure, the reputation of the Philly fan base is well established, but we don't see the Flyers and their fans nearly as often as we used to, making it that much harder to get the hate on -- though when they do show up here it's as annoying as you might guess. That being said, no Caps fan worth their salt can forget Dale Hunter scoring the GWG in OT of Game Seven of the 1988 Patrick Division Quarterfinals. As for this series, I'll say the Caps in six. Don't make the mistake of thinking Ovechkin is the only thing going right in Washington. The defense has tightened up considerably in front of Cristobal Huet, and the spot where you see that most vividly is on the penalty kill -- something which can also be credited in part to Sergei Fedorov. The guy is money with a man down, and never seems to lose a faceoff. Looking forward to saving a spot for you guys in the Eastern Conference Finals.


#5 New York Rangers

#4 New Jersey Devils

--Rangers blogger John Dellapina from [Blue Shirts Blog] --

Time was when a Devils-Rangers series meant a clash of disparate playing styles -- a kind of test of wills, if you will, in which Messier and Co. tried to open up the game while Stevens and Co. tried to shut it down. In those games, no matter whom you were rooting for, you needed the Rangers to have the lead for anything entertaining to happen.

Now, the Rangers having copied the Devils' joy-killing safety first approach, this could well be what all the New York-haters around the league would have called it anyway: a series only a local could love. Martin Brodeur gives the Devils an edge in goal, if only because his stickhandling is legendary and Henrik Lundqvist's toxic. Jaromir Jagr gives the Rangers an edge up front because he's the only player on either side worthy of enemy game planning. Neither team's defensemen impress the other, but each group gets the job done.

This will be a two-week-long flinching contest. And while the Devils have long been the masters of such unwatchable stuff, it says here that Chris Drury does it again, materializing out of nowhere in the dying seconds a couple of times to lift the Rangers in six.

-- Devils blogger Greg Dubs a.k.a. Greg Wyshynski [ Internet Badass ]

Why will the Devils defeat the Rangers? The long answer is that when the games count, the Devils are the better team with the better goalie and the better defense (which really says something about the Rangers' group) and an unstoppable offensive juggernaut named Dainius Zubrus. Or is that Sergei Brylin? Meh, doesn't matter -- this team couldn't score in Lindsay Lohan's love bungalow with a bag of freebase in one hand and a "Mean Girls 2" script in the other. But it can play defense, and that's the key: No other team in this League understands how to piss off Jagr more than the Devils. It's like an old Native American folk tale passed down through the generations. I fully expect players like Jay Pandolfo and David Clarkson to agitate Jagr to the point where he injures himself trying to punch a Devil in the back of the head, just like he did a few years ago. And playing defense also means relying on Marty Brodeur; since he hasn't had to drag his fat ass out of bed for a morning practice since late last year, he shouldn't be out of breath and have the Double Whopper-shakes until the middle of Round 2.

The short answer: Because it isn't 2048 yet, and the Rangers are just going to have to keep waiting. Devils in seven. Parise scores at least half of the Devils' goals for the series.


#7 Ottawa Senators

#2 Pittsburgh Penguins

-- SLC from [ Five For Smiting ] --

"Why wouldn't we win? We'll just do what we did last year. Namely, punch the kids in the mouth and steal their fucking lunch money. Other than Hal Gill (Hal Gill? Really? What, was Jamie McCoun not available?), there isn't a single new player from last year's team that worries me. Hossa? Please. Hit him twice and he folds like one of Therrien's cheap suits. We know. We traded him for a real power forward remember? Sens in six."


-- Pensblog --

We've never been fond of in-depth analysis on the site.
Anything we would say...you guys all know.

The series has more subplots than an R.L. Stine Book.
  • The return of Marian Hossa to Ottawa
  • The ballad of Marc-Andre Fleury
  • Sidney Crosby. Is he 100%?
  • Can Evgeni Malkin shake off last year's Amber Alert?
  • Will Gary Roberts murder someone?
  • Will Brian Murray's lisp go away?

[Mike H]

The only thing we want right now
is to see the emotion of the Mellon crowd when FSN pans over the arena before Game One.

That looks so pretty.

Don't ever forget.

God help us all.


canaanregulatesblog said...



havent had one of these in a while!

sh0ez said...

Incredible post. Solid read. Nice to see the input from blogs of other playoff teams. I really chuckled at the Ottawa one.

Stoked. Let's go Pens.

Eric K said...

awesome post.

wednesday seems so damn far away.

Gary Roberths > Ottawa Thenatorths

Steve In Denver said...

The Mellon staff received an odd request in the contract from Ottawa for the games in Pgh.

"Please position the Ottawa team benches upside down, and add no fewer than 20 additional legs, at least 3" in diameter, so that every player has a proper, comforting place to sit between shifts".

They also requested Charlie scented pucks for the showers.


nikki said...

"Will Brian Murray's lisp go away?"
HAHA i was wondering the same thing when i saw an interview with him today

Mr. Plank said...

This is epic. Great job with getting everyone together, the post got me 10 times more jacked up for Wednesday (which is saying something).

PensfanSeoul said...

Has the Thenatorth blogger seen a Pens game in the last 6 weeks? They have been hitting anything that moves.

Let them try to take our lunch money. Methinks they will find themselves shaking their heads, sticky and confused.

All I will say about the series is this....If the Pens come out and play the style of Hockey that they have been playing lately, avoid taking stupid penalties, and MAF can hold HALF of the Brilliance he has shown since his return, I think we are in for a great spring.


Oh, and first game on VS? Confirmed? I am living in TN and this place IS a black hole for hockey. All they will talk about for the next week was Memphis' failure at the charity stripe.

again, GO PENS!!

nu said...

One note before we all forget the regular season:

Wiki says the best regular season save percentage from a Penguins goalie (min. 30 games) was .922 by Barrasso in 1997-98.

So here I was thinking Conks would break a record.

Checking with Molinari, the media guide says it was 1999-2000 with Jean-Sebastien friggin' AUBIN and .914.

So apparently, both MAF and Conkblock torched this one.

Give up the props to our netminders. (And somebody actually thinks that the Thenatorth have the edge in goaltending?? Yeah.)

stokes said...

that ottawa guy is a jack ass. most every other blogger's take was subjective, with an honest opinion that was not based on which team they blogged for. (I didnt read the entire Calgary post- did you ask for a essay or a novel?!) but that ottawa dick offered the worst assessment i've ever read. what. a. douche.

Flyer Hater said...

I guess SLC thinks that the season ended on Thanksgiving and the Sens are coming into the playoffs with the best record in hockey.


Marcetta said...

Are you guys doing playoff brackets again this year? If so, I hope the autographed picture of the Pensblog staff from last year is still available.

Fleury29 said...

Playoff blogging... and so it begins.

I love waking up to posts like this.

Ashley said...

Awesome post guys. I see Charlie has one thing, and one thing only, on his mind..

sonofatruckload said...

alright, one last crack at it

i have 1 ticket to tomorrow's game in B6 that is impossible to get rid of

so i'm selling it for $125 (i bought it for $150 with the ticketmaster fees and all). at least i will recoup some of my losses and use them to pay for the other ticket i have.

that is as good a deal as you are going to get anywhere on a seat in B6.

i have already extended the offer to someone, but if they don't take it (or i don't hear back from them by this evening) i will sell it on a first come-first-serve basis. whoever emails me first gets it.


sorry to keep plugging this here but i figured there'd be WAY more interest the first few times i did it

incredible post today ftr

Antonette said...

This is the reason that this is the best blog on the Al Gore. Not many other sites out there would take the time to analyze the ENTIRE playoff bracket, let alone get half the hockey interwebs to contribute.

Glad to see the PBC is consistent. That's nice.

I get to watch Wednesday's game here- Columbus may never be the same (most likely because they've never heard of the playoffs).

Any other struggling fans out here in central Ohio?

homesprout said...

I'm pretty sure Ian Mendes likes touching young boys.....

Even though nobody asked for my prediction....Pens in 5!! :-D

Ashley said...

Don Cherry, your thoughts on the Ottawa-Pittsburgh matchup?

"It's not going to be as easy [for Pittsburgh] as everybody thinks; everybody's been down on Ottawa for three or four months. But sometimes a little magic happens....But I'm still picking Pittsburgh."

Jeffrey Paswick said...

nice posting. DEVILS STILL RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

coffeytalk said...

I didn't think capslocking team names and adding RULES afterward existed out of 1993.

KJ said...

did anyone else's mind read ottawa dude's comments like sylvester? no wonder they traded hossa, that double S had to be a nightmare to anyone without a life jacket nearby.

Christina said...

@ coffeytalk


Christina said...

Seriously though. Tomorrow night cannot come soon enough for me. It will be my first taste of live Pens playoff hockey since '01 and I absolutely cannot wait!!

And excellent work on the post, guys!! Your preview and review posts are better than anything else on Gore.

Dr. Turkleton said...

tPB staff:
•if this isn't the best hockey blog read about the playoffs, the ENTIRE playoffs, please show me one that even comes close. Excellent.

about Stamkos:
•I've never seen him play live, just the highlights here & there...he seems to be a very good prospect, but him being from Scarborough [which is like Toronto proper]probably has bumped up his stock a point or 2...Draft Prognosticators that claim him to be the 'Consensus #1 Overall Pick' might be stretching the truth a bit.

Isn't is sooo much nicer to be talking about getting 'fiar'd up' for a Stanley Cup™ run rather than having to churn up fake enthusiasm about another 'top 5 pick'?....I pray to Gary that generations to come won't have to suffer thru the trials & tribulations that this franchise has overcome is the past few years.

coffeytalk said...

You know what O'Doyle? I have a feeling your whole family's going down but right now I got to study.

Korn said...

my internal reading dialogue has a lisp now. thanks ass hats.

Great post as always.

Pens in 4.

RLslapshot24 said...

haha i actually found the ottawa analysis pretty humorous. not offensive really cuz well if i was an ottawa fan i'd love to read his blogs. another link here from james duthie from tsn... i love this guy


wilsmith said...

How 'bout you sideburns? You want some milk?

Pensblog Staff said...

you ain't cool unless...

You pee yo pants


geezer said...

I'll be screaming my freakin head off in b-32 with old and slow Pens Jersey and this blog is got my heart rate up. My daughter is coming from Baltimore to see the game. I want to be able to see ottawadesroyedblog on this site on Thursday. Pensblog Charlie has an Ottawa fetish, wonder why? Go Pens!!!

Ashley said...

rlslapshot24: james duthie is my hero.

Stoosh said...

After reading today's post, um...

Me = Speechless.

I just know I can't get through work today and tomorrow fast enough.

I also know I'm regretting taking yesterday off for the Pirate game and not taking today and tomorrow off for the playoff game.

As Keith Olbermann used to say back when Sportscenter didn't suck, "This would be me, drooling the drool of regret into the pillow of remorse."

Stoosh said...

While we're on the Billy Madison kick...

Dear Ottawa,

I award you no points. May God have mercy on your soul.

norojo said...

Oh, I see what's goin on in here. So sorry to interrupt. Proceed!

Lady Jaye said...

How does it work that it seems like just about everyday you guys come up with a post that is your next 'best post ever?'

Good work, and I actually thought the Ottawa post was funny and well, I don't mind the change up with serious analysis vs funny dribble. But of course, I'm sitting in my cube at work... so funny is great right now.

Can't wait for tomorrow! Can't wait! The crowd at the Mellon better bring it.

Sooska said...

Duthie for a Pulitzer

Gavin said...

Is that it Dad? Did the Penguin tell you to do this?

Sooska said...

Is there a Pulitzer-type prize for bloggers? NO? Then how about The Charlie? Give the first one to The Pensblog.

pinkphloid54 said...


coffeytalk said...

Chlorophyll, more like BOROPHYLL!

Brigid said...

Hey, this is BNG66's girlfriend. He's doing OK after his hospital stay but is bed-ridden due to a severe headache from the spinal tap, so he asked that I send you guys some love on his behalf.

Hopefully, by the grace of- Gary Roberts-, he'll be up and running tomorrow. Until then...

Let's Go Pens!!

Stoosh said...

Bryan Murray says,

If talking with a lithp ith cool, then I'm Mileth Davith.

coffeytalk said...

Thanks Brigid for the update! Send some love his way for a speedy recovery.


Pensblog Staff said...

Our thoughts and prayers go to bng66.

"that is correct" -- chris farley

Stoosh said...


Welcome to C-blog, first of all!

Glad to hear BNG66 is doing well, so please give him our best wishes and let him know Roberts is on the way up to help get rid of the headache.

coffeytalk said...

who would you rather bone: Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?

Ashley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashley said...

Brigid - The power of Gary Roberts will heal all pain.

...except for the pain inflicted on the opposition, of course. Those people have no chance.

Send BNG66 our best wishes.

Ashley said...

"Ottawa would have their hands full even if they had Alfredsson, Fisher, Kelly and a goalie."

haha...I love James Duthie...

And to think, that James Duthie article was written for the OTTAWA CITIZEN.

Dr. Turkleton said...


thanks for the update on our fellow cblogger.....

my head hurts sometimes as well after watching This Is Spinal Tap




Get All Better N'at, BNG66......

J.S. said...

So who did Charlie pick again?

Sounds like he has spent too much time around The Chocolate Factory (aka ScotiaBank Place).

Stoosh said...

@ Coffeytalk -

Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?

Raybin said...

Greatest post ever. Great analysis on the playoffs and Charlie always picking the Sens = money.

Plus, I've never laughed as hard in my life as I did at the Coaches Bitching for Dummies Photoshop. Bravo. Just...bravo.

wilsmith said...


Raybin said...

May the healing hand of Gary pass over bng66 and may be draw upon the incredible healing powers of his namesake.

Seriously, my best wishes. Get well soon! You'll be missed by all until you get back.

Raybin said...

I can't stop laughing at that photoshop. I'm starting to get weird looks from people here at work.

Seriously Mike H, kudos cubed.

Sweetcheesus! said...

its funny how there was more contribution from the west. perhaps chara ate the bloggers from the habs and "bahston."

kudos, on the post. it is nice to get varying opinions eventhough charlie is hopeless. he knows what he likes, its like most people and pizza rolls.

@SLC and for Charlie

my own thoughts with no explantion:

wings over nashville in 4
sharks over flames in 5
avalanche over wild in 6
ducks over stars in 6

habs over bruins in 4
capitals over "douche nozzles" in 7
rangers over devils in 6
pens over sens in 5 or 6 (they still scare the h-e-double HOCKEY STICKS, out of me)

final thought, was dicking around on yahoo answers and found this gem:

one day i will figure out the link thing.

GwinTheEskimo said...

i knew the flyers fans would say the pens tanked it, pretty self-centered.

pbc picks ottawa every series: sweet

Jack Nicholson in 2008 or 1978?

this could be our milk

great post, this blog is un-f'ing-real

Go Pens

destinyunbound23 said...

@ PensfanSeoul

If you are close to Nashville and need a place to watch the game, I have Center Ice and will be watching them... I know the first one is on Vs, but my place is open for any of the games. I am not a born and inbred Nashvillian, I was born in Pittsburgh and dont exactly remember how I ended up here. You can email me at destinyunbound23@aol.com.


hyjynxok said...

Ottawa is a joke and they dont even have their captain. Emery & Gerber are swiss cheese mental cases. Pens in 5. DO IT.

Anybody else having NHL Center Ice issues right now? I dont see any playoff hockey games on my channels to record tomorrow or beyond, and the names of the channels have changed from NHL CENTER ICE to MLB EXTRA INNINGS!

I called Time Warner this morning [I have decided to get DirecTV in the summer and finally have the NHL network] and they told me absolutely jack squat. They cant see past today's schedule to see if any hockey games will be on tomorrow. I do get VS. - is the Pens game going to be on there? Any knowledge you can sling my way would be very Lemieux-like of you!

Get the brandy ready...

coffeytalk said...



strakasguitar said...

great freakin' post - stays crunchy in milk.

eh, the sens are washups. who gets annihilated by gary roberts' laser-beam vision first?

James said...

87+71+18+29 = Dancing with Lord Stanley

Zarley Zalapski Blues Explosion said...

That haircut video the Sharks guy posted was top notch!

And I hope bng66 gets better (even though I don't know who he is).

nu said...

Uh-oh. (But Charlie should be happy.)

Apparently our team is gay, too. Now how are we going to distinguish ourselves from Ottawa?

Unless they're just happy, silly, and comfortable with each other. Which would put them about as far from the Senators as possible. (Bryan Murray says, "It'th dethpicable!")

Nick Saia (usa) said...

Hey, kids, it's me. I bet you thought that I was dead. But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head.

Dear pensblog staff,
thank you for all the content loaded on this site daily. In times like these, when I nervously await the drop of the puck on Wednesday, it is comforting to get some jobbing out of my system. Tomorrow, the war begins... So its one more night of good rest before all hell breaks loose.

now, for your viewing pleasure...
a c-blog photoshop

"strong arms around you pens fans"

JYo said...

For those of you that asked, the game tomorrow is on Versus if you are out of the Pittsburgh TV coverage area, whatever that may be. If you are close enough to the 'burgh, you get it on FSN.

Great post, as usual. I was particularly interested in the Craps blogger since he posted "Looking forward to saving a spot for you guys in the Eastern Conference Finals." Is he saying the Bruins will beat the Habs in the first round, since that is the only way the Pens can play the Craps in the conference finals, or is he saying after the Pens handle the Charlies the Craps will just roll over, ergo saving our spot in the finals??? Since no one this side of the Mississippi is picking the B's in the first round, I'll assume its the latter.

Lets go Pens!

Matt said...

That Veronica Vaughn is one hot piece of ace. I know from experience, dude, if you know what I mean.

By the way, for anyone who missed tickets when they first went on sale, there are some available through Ticketmaster now (at least for Game 1). Hope some cbloggers can grab them.

Lauren said...

@ dr turk @ 1206

My boyfriend made me sit through that movie - This Is Spinal Tap - when we first started dating - I actually considered walking out the door and never coming back again, it was that bad.

If the actual procedure is as bad as the movie, may Gary be with you, bng66.

Go Pens!

...I know most of you are from Western PA, but is there anyone from the Harrisburg area getting together to watch the game?

Nathan said...

I wouldn't worry about the Center Ice/Digital Cable difficulties. You'll just have to set your DVR tomorrow, but the games will be there.

If you go to indemand.com and look at the Extra Innings schedule for tomorrow, you'll see that channels 01 and 02 are empty throughout the night; there are four games scheduled tomorrow, with two scheduled for Versus (PIT-OTT at 7, SJ-CGY at 10). I think it's fair to expect that you'll see the other two games on channels 01 and 02 of the overlap (channels 771 and 772 for me).

wilsmith said...

*leans on Trans-Am wearing an REO t-shirt and rocking out to Billy Squire*

PensfanSeoul said...

@stupor dave

Unfortunately, I am working on Wednesday, but I have a TV at work, and VS is on the local Cable here. I live in Clarksville btw, work at Ft. Campbell...yadda yadda yadda....its a pit here.

Oh, and then my gf is moving in with me next week. She isnt from Pittsburgh, so she wouldnt understand driving to Nashville to watch a hockey game with someone I have never met...Why can't everyone be as cool as Pittsburghers?

Stoosh said...

The reaction to that candid team picture over at LGP.com is proof positive of why some people will never be happy.

I don't know whose idea it was to do the picture, but too often athletes - including our Penguins captain - get criticized for being too cliche, too cookie-cutter, too cool for the rest of society.

So they decide to have a little fun with something and that's how it gets received? I expected the resident Flyers fan over there to have a problem with it. I'm surprised at how many Pens fans found it ridiculous.

After all, this is the city that can't fall all over itself fast enough for shameless self-promoters like Jerome Bettis and Hines Ward. Not that I dislike those guys, but no one can deny that they're shameless self-promotors, especially Bettis.

People are allowed to have their own opinions on it, so here's mine...

For the record, I thought the team picture was hysterical and creative, and it's representative of the type of personality that has helped endear this team to its fan base.

Sooska said...

@stoosh - if I recall from yesterday cbloggers liked the "sleepover"( TM dr turkleton I beleive) photo as opposed to the stiffly formal typical team picture.

Nick Saia (usa) said...

i like the picture too because you get a good feel for each players personality... just look at RUUUUUU. haha

Flyer Hater said...

Stoosh, totally agree. God for bid if anyone goes outside the box anymore. I think it shows how closely knit this group is and how comfortable they are with each other to take that picture. It's awesome.

Who cares what Flyer fans have to say? Do they like these pictures better?


More Fail

Epic Fail

Flyer Hater said...

Beyond Unreal

Dr. Turkleton said...


I saw a flyers board already have a thread started from yesterday, entitled: Just when you thought the Pens couldn't get any gayer started by a filthadelphian living in the Burgh, no less...

you'd think maybe their focus might be on...um...I don't know...THE CAPITALS???

I like reading over there for a good laugh every once in a while.

Lady Jaye said...

lol, I loved the fun picture. Come on, everybody has to have fun once in awhile. I just had fear of skate blades near people's vital body parts. Haha.

You will never please everybody all of the time. So don't even worry about it.

Sooska said...

as Pensgirl noted yesterday, Hal Gill is seducing the camera. loose, confident bunch our Pens.

John said...

Flyer Hater,

The "Epic Fail" picture totally made my day. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. What a joke that clown turned out to be.

Go Pens!

malkinian said...

Just when I thought I couldn't be more juiced for the playoffs I here RocknRoll Pt 2 on the way to work. AAAHHH!!!!

Haaave some more slllopppy joes!!! AHAHAHAHA!!!

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Apparently we are very Madison-esque today!

I'm surprised Dr. Turk didn't call this one for Hossa ... "Man, I'm glad I called that guy."

@Brigid: Send him our best wishes! May Roberts be with him at this time of pain.

@Stoosh: I think the picture is adorable. Sure, I make fun of it, but it is because I find it amusing. When I make fun of it, it's because I find it cute and funny which is what the team was going for (I assume.) People have been calling our team gay since Staal kissed Malkin on the cheek and since they actually get along. Hines Ward may be my fav. but I know he promotes himself whenever possible. The picture makes me smile, be happy and is entertaining, which is the entire point of why I watch hockey. It doesn't matter what those idiots say. So what? What other team did something like that? What other team is that close that they would even consider that? Just because they are all lying on the ice smiling doesn't mean they're gay. (Unless Pensblog Charlie stops by and they obviously didn't give him a call.)

Great post BTW, Staff!

In the Penguins Organization I Trust!

footndale said...

Remember why MAF switched pads?

Ottawa eye doctor helps enemy Penguins goalie.

PO said...


not sure if this has been mentioned but there are tickets just released for tomorrow's game on ticketsmaster.com... just picked up two tickets in C27 row J... hopefully none of charlies love children from ottawa scoop up the rest

Sooska said...

@ EPIC FAIL Lindros- click my avatar to see a photo I took of Lindros 3-7-98 after Kasper nailed him @ center ice-head down with the puck -clean hit. I was sitting by the visitor's door & took this. A great memory from the Igloo. Pensbuddy LeClair is on the dear Eric's left.


Stoosh said...


Exactly. I saw most of the comments made here and certainly got the impression that everyone took it for what it was - a bunch of teammates goofing off.

I'm just surprised that so many Pens fans over at LGP were put off by it.

Colin said...

I can't believe Roman Cechmanek just made a cblog appearence.

You talk bender goalies, you talk Roman Cechmanek.

stokes said...

Most chicks do not get Spinal Tap. That's too bad for them.

I know that the Igloo staff is not this classless, but how funny would it be for Sylvester the Cat to show up on the Jumob-Tron whenever the Pens thcore during this therieths.

How did Billy Madison not win an Oscar?

Stoosh said...



Thank you so much for posting the "epic fail" picture. I forgot how funny that was. I've seen it once before and completely forgotten about it until now. One of the funniest photoshops ever.

That would be my wallpaper, but I've had one of the PG pictures of the Winter Classic up since January and we've been playing very well since. I refuse to change it until the season's over.

Stoosh said...

SOOSKA - That Lindros picture is awesome. I was working down at a sports bar in Bridgeville that day and the entire place went absolutely insane when Kasparaitis hit him. If I'm not mistaken, that was the first concussion Lindros suffered and may have been the beginning of the end of his career.

sarah said...

Awesome post guys.. thanks! It's interesting to see what other people think about their teams and the match ups. Let's go Pens! byaaah

Sooska said...

@ stoosh- yep his first big one- he was limp as a wet noodle. It isn't real clear due to the glass etc but it makes the point. He was out for weeks. The Igloo went absolutely crazy-you could see it coming in slow motion -him skating with his head down and Kasper just exploded on him. The beginning of an ignominious end to "the guy who was better than Lemieux." They deserved each other: Lindros = Cryers.

Dr. Turkleton said...


Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

[most] women miss out on a lot of good stuff: The Three Stooges, South Park, MXC [just the tip of the iceberg]

[Hossa: Do you have any artificial plates or limbs? Er, not really.]

I Have Kasparaitis said...

Ahh, good times with Kaspar ... Lindros and him played for a while together in NY didn't they? I'm sure they weren't buddies. I think Kaspar practically killed him everytime he was on the ice. Funny stuff ...

@Stokes: Yeah, I'm pretty sure someone would get fired, but that's hilarious!

Michelle said...

This was a great post. It was cool reading what other bloggers had to say of their teams. Especially the Western conference since I don't follow it quite as closely.
Great job!

maria said...

staff, awesome post, as usual.

i think stoosh pretty much said it all about the sleepover team pic. i'm glad they have such good chemistry. the posters at lgp need to relax and enjoy the game.

whoa...women can like "this is spinal tap" too.

this one goes to 11

eileenover said...

Ok, I know the Pens website says tomorrow's game will be shown on FSN, but when I looked on my tv's guide, it shows the Pirate game?? I'm guessing they're going to show the Pens game instead, but I'm confused.

MizzPenz said...

lauren - one of the best places to watch the game is The Brewhouse in Camp Hill. There are always a bunch of us there and they have one of the best beer selections in the area. Rege made a post about it in the last group of comments. If you need directions send me an email, ok? pam@lehmanvolvo.com

Sooska said...

@ eileenover- FSN is showing the game-they booted the Buccos of Suckitude(ratings?)

eileenover said...

@ sooska-

That's what I figured. Thanks for letting me know.

Ashley said...

FH -

Oh my Gary, that JibJab with Charlie, Murray, and Heatley was fucking hilarious. I almost choked on my dinner.

thegreenseas said...

Do you have any more gum, more gum, more gum, more gum?...Do you have any more gum?


dying alive said...

I'm a woman and I love This is Spinal Tap. I also love The Three Stooges, MXC, and Ninja Warrior. All of the Billy Madison quotes are making me want to see that again very, very badly.

How about the assclown Ottawa journalist who says they should break Crosby's ankle? What a retard. People should know by now not to job El Sid.

Flyer Hater said...

These go to eleven

Dr. Turkleton said...

@dying alive

you [for one] are the exception [like all the other hockey savvy females on here] and not the rule...

that's why I included [most] to lead off my generalization of: 'What Women Want [to watch on TV]'

stokes said...

i concur with Dr. Turk.

BNG: get well. soon.

coffeytalk said...

You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of - Well, this piece is called Lick My Love Pump.

coffeytalk said...

wow. flyerhater. wow.

great jib jab. for really realz.

tjmiller718 said...

I have 2 tickets for the game tomorrow for sale:

Section E30
Row L
$120/EACH or best offer

shoot me an email


Allyson said...

flyer hater -

That jibjab made me spit out my delicious dinner, which I am eating while reading c-blog.

But it was totally worth it!!

I Have Kasparaitis said...

In the Bulletin Board: Therrien: Murray's words "ridiculous." [ Globe and Mail ]

Does that make me it bad person that I thought about how Murray would say riciculous? Ha! Ridiculous pretty much somes up Murray. I heard his middle name is Clarence ... hahaha. I shouldn't be so mean or I'll jinx the team and be banned from the Pensblog.

Ashley said...

I feel like an idiot for asking, but...

What is "This is Spinal Tap"?

Can someone give me a quick explanation?

coffeytalk said...


go here:


It's a silly mock doc about a band.

Sooska said...

@ ashley -it's a fantastically funny mockumentary movie by Rob Reiner, Christopher Guest & Micheal McKean about a ficitonal rock band Spinal Tap. It has to be seen -it cannot be explained. It's inside rock music but it is so damn funny -especially the parts about the drummers. The music is all original in various styles (Beatles, The Who, etc)great! Some of these guys have gone on to do the more recent Best in Show, For Your Consideration and A Mighty Wind.

Ashley said...

coffeytalk and sooska:


Mark said...

This Is Spinal Tap changed my life.

"Hello, Cleveland!"

"There's a fine line between clever and stupid."

"He choked to death on vomit but they don't know whose it was..."

"Talk about mud flaps, my gals' got 'em..."

And don't even get me started on Stonehedge.

Okay, time to focus...less that 24hours 'til the puck drops, baby!

Time to turn it up to 11.


We are in no way affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Pensblog uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey our criticism and inform the public.

Photos on The Pensblog are used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us (thepensblog@gmail.com) and we will be happy to oblige.