Thursday, March 6, 2008

Something we encourage more of:

Making Penguin songs.

This joint is from the Brandon K. And Jason P. at W&J.

Solid stuff


Pens News

-- Chase --

:: Looks like talk of Gary Robert's demise were premature. [ Trib ]

"One thing we know about Gary Roberts ... he's about pride,"
Penguins coach Michel Therrien said.

"When it comes to the playoffs, it's about pride. That's what makes it different for players.
"I know he has something in mind. He wants to come back as strong as he can be."

Ron Cook = Stunned

[Chris E]

Big Poppa Pump is thinking he is coming back Sunday. [Trib]


[Barry Melrose Rocks] found something that might lure Charlie back.



JANUARY 18, 2008

[ Breaking News -- Crosby High-Ankle Sprain ]

A Stunned Nation turned to one man:

Stoosh said...

I know everyone is down about the injury Sid suffered tonight. If the injuries to Fleury, Talbot, Eaton and Roberts were kicks to the collective groin, this injury to Sid is a blast with a steel-toed boot that just kind of sticks there for a while. **

I'm as upset about this as everyone else is and maybe it's too early for this. But I'm reading some of the other boards as well and I can't believe how many people are already saying that we might as well just close up shop right now. **

If a white flag or a trip to the nearest roof is your cup of tea, cool. But like Jack Nicholson once said, "Go sell crazy someplace else. We're all stocked up here." **

Look, this isn't to minimize the loss of Sid at all. Four weeks without him in the lineup is four weeks too many. Newsflashblog: This isn't Sid and the 2003-04 Pens, either. Malkin was the franchise before we got lucky and landed Sid. Malkin's played like a franchise-caliber player most of this year so far, and he played like he was possessed tonight again after Sid went out. Dude knows what's up. **

Staal's been snakebitten all season. He'll get even more opportunities to turn the corner.
What if he snaps out of his little sophomore slump? **

Sykora's a solid talent capable of hitting a hot streak at any given time.
You bet your ass that he's getting top-line time now. **

Malone's been playing like the leader he was in 2003-04, when some people were calling him the best power forward prospect we've had since Artie.**

Letang's been good. Conklin's still there. Gonch is playing at an All-Star level.
Kennedy is doing a lot of what Recchi was supposed to do.**

There's still talent here. In fact, there's still still world-class talent here, so let's not pretend this is done.**

Even that 2003-04 team won almost one out of every 3-4 games, and that was basically Malone, Fleury and a team full of minor-leaguers. **

Losing Sid is a tough pill to swallow, but what's done is done and it's time to move on.
He'll be back soon enough because the kid is a machine. **

Honestly, the best thing about the blog
is that we can find fan reaction to something instantly by going to that date.

Click that link above to see all the fan reaction.

But fans weren't the only ones talking:

We consider this section as a short vacation before things get real in Penguin Land.
If anyone takes this section as a religious theory, we apologize.

Besides, without a Marian Hossa rumor,
it's either post this or post pics of drunk athletes or something stupid.


[ Wikipedia ] [ Vernor Vinger's Theory ]
[ Isaac Asimov's "The Last Question" ]

What is it?

Basically, it's the thought that mankind's technological rate of growth has been increasing exponentially, and once that growth rate reaches a recursive state, it will be the end of the human era on Earth.

Come again?

Once mankind develops a machine that equals or surpasses the intelligence level of humans,
said machine will thus be able to improve upon itself, becoming dominant.

The theory was entertained in The Matrix movies.

It's most well known in Isaac Asimov's short story [ "The Last Question" ]
A solid read if you have 15-20 minutes.

Some theories express a doomsday scenario for the human race.

Other theories address the notion of human beings achieving immortality by turning our thoughts, ideas, and consciences into computer programs, thus living forever in a simulated reality.

We already have technology that connects nerves in the body to prosethic limbs.
This simulated reality may not be that far-fetched.

It all relies on mankind's ability to build a supercomputer.
Most scientists and theorists agree that it's going to happen.
One predicts it will happen before 2030.

The easy solution of "just don't build the computer" isn't feasible,
considering it would stunt mankind's quest for knowledge and accomplishment.

Some theorists argue that the Singularity is already upon us:

[ The On Deck Circle ] introduces "Gary Roberts Wednesday"

[ Rob Rossi ] penned the afore-linked column asking What Will Gary Roberts Do?

"I'm closing in on 42," Roberts said of his May 23 birthday.
"It would be a nice birthday gift to still be playing hockey at that time of year."


Buffalo lost again.



We get mentioned on local radio every now and then, whatev.
It's never been our goal to get recognition for what we do.

But when it's veiled by ignorance for the sake of ignorance itself, it's a joke.

Case in point:

A local radio show mentioned Storeblog on Wednesday.
They liked the "Rock Out With Your Conk Out" shirts.

You would think professional journalists would cite their sources correctly, but they didn't.
They couldn't even get the name of our site correct.

It's the oldest trick in the book:
Get the source wrong so it doesn't look like you care.

But whatever. That's not even what pissed us off.

They said that we should be running a "What Would Sid Do" or "What Would Ben Do" campaign instead of WWGRD.

WWSD would be seen as What Would Satan Do, given the origin of WWJD.
Plus WWSCD would be stupid.

Throw season-paralyzing interceptions when it matters most?
Have a 5'9" wide receiver bail you out on the biggest stage in sports?

Get better ratings.

Don't mention us again.

If you don't know the meaning of What Would Gary Roberts Do,
then you're just destined not to.

Then again, we may be totally off-base here,
considering they may have mistaken us for another website in their bookmarks:

[ ] -- It's real

Now, that one is easy to remember.
Go Pens.


sh0ez said...

The Penis Blog. Nice.

I still had faith after Sid went down. Just like I had faith when Fleury went down and it seemed all we had was Sabu. This just shows we can step up when need be and we truly are one of the best teams, if not the best.

Rough game against Anderson tonight.

Let's Go Pens.

Fred Jones said...

I kept waiting for (hoping) to see BGL or GR come flying into that ice dancing video and crush those figure skaters.

Ashley said...

for some reason, that video reminded me of west side story.

cg said...

I've said it here before and I'll say it again: "Stooooooooooosh!"

Also, had someone email me the following link:

The site says Lange and Steigy are both in the last year of their contracts. It has a petition to get Lange back on I'm not one to wish someone would loose their job, buuuut.....this is for Mike freakin Lange....Do it!

cg said...

Messed up that link...sorry:

fakeBobErrey said...

Bob Errey Here,

I'm not really sure what you guys were talking about, I think I took my kids to see the matrix 3 a few years ago though, and I agree Gary Roberts is a Force on the ice and in the hearts of fans.

Its warm in FLA, how is it in PA guys?

Bob Errey

sonofatruckload said...


all well back in the burgh. cold and drizzly though! looking forward to your broadcast tonight; i've got my bingo card and dobber all ready to go

PittHockey said...

that gary roberts photo would've been great if it wasn't run through so many filters.

And I know it's not a photoshop, that's Gary Roberts' injury recovery suit.

Lady Jaye said...

does anybody else run into the 'grey box' problem with pensblog? I don't know if its because of all the photoshops or what, but i get these random grey boxes across the page. I have to shut down, clear my cache and open the page back up to make them go away. Am I the only crazy one with this happening?

Stoosh's comment you cited there is great. Probably my favorite one regarding Sid's injury. Of course, y'all gave me a heart attack because I am half asleep not having any caffeine yet and I just saw: Sid High Ankle Sprain rather than looking at the freaking date. Ug. Wake up Lady. Wake up!

Pensblog Staff said...

Jaye, I think its the result of having too many youtubes embedded on our main page.
We had the same problem.
The boxes are about the size of a video. Ac

Eric K said...


why does it seem like every goalie in the league plays his best fucking game of the season against the Pens? I know i sound like a crying homer here, but think about how many backup goalies have come in and just played lights out against us this year. Then again, look at what Conks has done.

Mike Lange on TV again would make my life.

j.s.22 said...

Eric, same can kinda sorta go with how players have scored their first NHL goal or scored their first goal of the season on the Penguins. Seemed like if you wanted to score a goal, you wanted to play the Penguins.

If Hossa comes back Sunday, what do you guys think the lines are going to look like? Also, when Gary Roberts comes back, who gets the boot for a while?

freek4sportz said...

I just scrolled down to a picture of Gary Robert's on this post, and two rows of computers in my general vicinity shut down instantly.


JYo said...

This post = unreal

Stoosh = C-blog Hall of Famer (as if we didn't all already know that)

Bob Duff = Joke (it bears repeating)

Fakeboberrey = Life changing

I'm perfectly happy with Lange on the radio. I live in Indiana, can't afford Center Ice, and listen to the Pens on the internet for free. Don't take Lange away from me!

@js22 - Like many have pointed out, HCMT will change lines on a whim anyway, but I'd expect to see Sid with Hossa and a rotating LW until one sticks (maybe Staal, Tal-bot, or even Dupuis, with the two others being on the third line), keeping the Malone-Malkin-Syko line together. Just an uneducated guess though.

JYo said...

From this point on, GR should be referred to simply as Singularity. For instance, if you think he should play with Sid and Hossa it would be the Singularity-Bing-Big Poppa Pump line.

anonBILL said...

^Stunned by the awesomeness of Stoosh

Randall said...

that song is "anyone else but you" by the moldy peaches. it's from the movie juno. still, great pens lyrics guys!

jammer jagger said...

lines when all healthy:

malone - malkin - sykora
talbot - sid - hossa
ruutu - staal - dupuis

Dave said...


Text Message

I saw this advertisement on Goal by Sidney Crosby Assisted by Malkin and Staal. Come on now, NHL. I'm surprised Ovechkin and Forsberg weren't mentioned somehow.

Eric K said...

seeing as Jeff Taffe and Kennedy are the only 2 WB/S guys left (after Minard gets shipped down when Hossa comes back) its gonna be a tough call. If it were me, I'd keep both guys, scratch Laraque until a game where you think you might "need" him. Considering how unproductive Georges has been of late, i'll take Laffy Taffe over him anyday. Just me though.

Sakic19 said...

anyone else see Rob Rossi comparing pens players to professional wrestlers on his q and a site on the pens homepage?

Lady Jaye said...

staff > thanks for the confirmation. Just wanted to know I wasn't crazy and my computer wasn't just being a complete joke.

canaanregulatesblog said...

lady jaye and staff, what resolution are your screens running on? i think that error is from a long withstanding embedding error that happens on lower-resolutioned monitors. if you bump up your screen res, does it fix the problem?


Pensgirl said...

Dave, the first time I really looked at that ad I had the same reaction, but here's what got to me most: the goal is a slapshot...from 14ft. That's deflection/rebound territory. Anyone taking a slapper from there is trying to kill someone.

Sakic19, Rossi also uses the word "stunned" at least once in seemingly every Q&A he does.

Stoosh said...

Thoughts, dudes...

1. Quick solution for our Junker & Crow problems. Fire Crow. Hire Stan. Why hasn't this happened yet, ESPN?

2. Ask and you shall's the link to the article by that asshat Bob Duff. If the link doesn't work, go to and search "Bob Duff". It's the first article that comes up. Just be warned...

3. I just re-read Duff's article and damn near choked to death...

"(Crosby's) not a grunt who goes up and down his wing, bangs into people and gets the puck to the people who should have it. Crosby is a high-end skill player in need of all of his faculties at 100 percent to make his magic, so expect him to come back somewhat closer to eight weeks than six."

Has this clown EVER seen Crosby play? Crosby is the most physical skill center in the league. He's just as likely to muscle someone off the puck as he is to deke around them on his way to the net.

"In need of all his faculties at 100% to make magic?"

Did he miss the fact that Crosby played the last twelve games of last season and then five playoff games with a broken foot? Does he realize Crosby scored 10 goals and 11 assists (21 points) in those 17 games?

Does Duff even know what a hockey puck is? I mean, if you need a story on the new panda at the zoo, he looks like he'd be your guy. But I have to wonder if he still watches LA Kings games and wonders why Wayne Gretzky isn't out on the ice. Ridiculous. Joke.

4. FakeBobErrey...I don't think there are words to encompass the awesomeness of that. If we get FakeDonCherry, I might puke.

"Lemmetellyalittlesomethinrightnowwwwwwww...anthisistheGod's honest truth!"

Pensgirl said...

But Stoosh, Bing isn't a grunt who goes up and down his wing, etc. etc.

He's a center.


The Seeker said...


The Penguins' official Web site ( rated No. 1 among NHL clubs in United States Web traffic during January, according to comScore Networks. That is a one-spot improvement from December, when the Penguins' site ranked second. The site placed fourth worldwide for both months.

fakeBobErrey said...

Bob Errey here,

If I run into fakeDonCherry there wil be words spoken that people on TV can see but I cannot repeat folks.

I'll show him the true meaning of the pickle stabber and I'm sure he won't forget it.

All the best,

Flyer Hater said...

I remembe the day after Sid got hurt in c-blog and the majorty of people were asking Elmo to pass the rope. Stoosh was there with logic and reason to calm everyone down.


fakepaulsteigerwald said...

Hey folks!

Steigy checking in from sunny South Florida. Bob has been talking about your blog and I figured I would stop in and say hello.

Looking forward to a great matchup tonight...Olli Jokinen has been quiet this season against the Flightless Birds, should be a great game!

Well, Potash is taking me out to Arby's so I have to run. Talk to you after the games.

Signing off,

fakepaulsteigerwald said...

Hey guys, don't forget to check out my profile for some really great information about, well, me!


mwhit92 said...

What ever happened to the Gary Roberts wikipedia campaign? I really enjoyed that and propose that it be resurrected to speed along his recovery.

Dani said...

@ staff/any pens:

a. Ewwww that sucks Pensblog. No credit. If I could only feel your pain... No really though, it does suck.

*Warning to you Umberger lovers... do not click:
b. Seeing that RJ Umbergeris both a Pittsburgh(ian?) and a Flyer.... how does that sit? We love our home town boys (see Pat Kane homecoming).

c. Sorry to stray from hockey but...
Call me blonde, I didn't know not every stadium could tailgate?! Sweet Mother Of God! Steelers, Circle: yes/no/maybe?

d. And back to hockey... are we the only team that blows the horn when both opposition and home teams score? Ha.hahahaha.HAhaHA.

e. We have songs too! Well, only two.

Flyer Hater said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fakeBobErrey said...

Bob Errey Here,

Steigy... I thought you were visiting family today.... Potash told me he was sick when I asked him if he wanted to go to Sea World with me.

I'll put it aside for the game guys, don't worry.

Back to you Ron,
Bob "left out" Errey

Stoosh said...

How can FakePaulSteigerwald not have a reference to FakeJohnnyOduya in his profile?

I'm just sayin'...

fakepaulsteigerwald said...

Potash told me that you were hitting the links with Mario this afternoon and didn't want to get the traditional pregame meal with us.

Something is fishy here.

I think Danny is jealous that you're between the benches again next week. He feels like you are stealing his spotlight. Oh the selfishness!

Don't worry Bibs, you're still my favorite on-air companion.


geezer said...

Well I can't say I thought we would have done this well in the past because Sid was the energizer for the whole team. Malkin proved he has the skill to do the same. Who knew? I wouldn't stop watching this team no matter what and when I go I scream and shout more than anyone else in B-32. OK Stoosh had faith, Kudos to him.

Back to the fact Sid is back! Very exciting because I love to watch that kid play. Why? Simply because he cares and gives it all he's got all the time. Thats all. And thats more than, well anybody else I know plus he has more talent in his little finger than 99% of the players we see in the NHL. Is that enough reason? How about he is a freakin Penguin my friends, he is the Penguin we identify with this team and it's expect to win state of mind.

So if a few of us were bummed when he got hurt please forgive us its just that his arrival and presence on the team has given us a joy that wer haven't seen for like 10 years or so. Whatev

Stoosh said...

PENSGIRL - Oh, I know...I even mentioned that in my response after I quoted Duff.

Duff was pointing out that Crosby isn't a prototypical power forward/winger in terms of his size, but Crosby plays a very similar game and that's why I was shocked...STUNNED read Duff's choice of words there. It makes me wonder if Duff has seen him play.

Crosby initiates contact just like a power forward does. He mucks and grinds on the boards. He throws his weight around and he's very difficult to move off the puck.

One thing that has really lessened my opinions on the "expertise" of some of these national hockey journalists is that some of them keep advancing this notion that Crosby is an immensely-talented, graceful player who shies away from contact. It makes me wonder how much some of these people really see him play, because that couldn't be further from the truth.

There's certainly an element of grace and smoothness to his skating but he's not a fluid skater like, say, Letang or Esposito. Crosby skates like he's pissed off at the reminds me of watching a thoroughbred racehorse run. If you've ever seen something like that up close, you know what I'm talking's amazing the raw power those animals have. It's smooth to a point, but it's basically harnessed raw power.

I Have Kasparaitis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I Have Kasparaitis said...

Stoosh, you know everything. Talk about C-Blog hall of famer!

Oh my goodness, I was crying after reading fakepaul steigerwald's profile. You and FakeBob Errey make my day. (Hmm...first time I have ever said that about Errey and Steiggy...)

I am suffering from Gary Roberts withdrawal. I keep going to youtube to see him kill people and watch steelcityassault's Gary Roberts return promo.

I'm pretty sure everyone here knows Duff is a joke, so that's why I don't read anything he has to say.

I'm guessing Rossi might have been reading The blog this year. I mean the wrestling references and the Gary Roberts talk. What would we do if Don Cherry actually visited this site? Now that would be scary.

Lady Jaye said...

trouble shooting canaan > i'm on os x at 1440x90 and my color is set to millions ;) I don't think that's the problem. Or I hope not!

stokes said...

i only watched about a minute of that video before i felt like i wanted to hump my sister's boyfriend. i had to turn it off. disgusting.

When Fakeboberrey showed up, i laughed-alot. When Fakepaulsteigerwald showed up, the hair on the back of my neck stood up, awash in awesomesauce.

Cblog just continues to outdo itself.

Dave said...

Did anyone go to see fake Bob Errey's blog? Check out Errey/Steigy bingo. It's too good for words.

j.s.22 said...

Malone Malkin Sykora
Talbot Crosby Hossa
Roberts Staal Dupuis
Ruutu Taffe/Kennedy Laraque

Also when Hossa returns, think he will get a bid on the number 1 PP line or stick him on the second with Sid?

I understand Lord Therrien switches lines like crazy, but lets just see what everyone elees opinion is.

JYo said...

Re: "Also when Hossa returns, think he will get a bid on the number 1 PP line or stick him on the second with Sid?"

Are you saying Sid will be on the #2 PP unit? I don't see that happening. I'd say Sid, Hossa, and Malkin would be the three forwards on the top unit most of the time.

Everyone seems to favor Talbot playing with Sid and Hossa so far. Any other suggestions? I'm not saying he wouldn't fit there, just wondering who else may get a shot. I would think Staal would get a shot, but maybe they want to develop him more as a center. Will Singularity get a shot with them upon his return? Whatever the lines may be, there should be three pretty potent lines out there on any given night with two of them being amongst the best in the league.

BlacknGold66 said...

do ditty doo ditty doo ditty doo doo

[cblog bookmark]

doo ditty doo ditty doo ditty doo doo

I just said "doo doo."

Can't wait for tonight's game.

Let's Go Pens!!!

canaanregulatesblog said...

i think staff is using a mac too, no?

geezer said...

Bob Duff's brain has been drained of blood and placed in a small locker in a Greyhound bus station in Toronto. What is scary is Don Cherry Cheeks brain has been implanted into Duffs creating the shit that passes for hockey journalism coming out of Duff's mouth. Don's brain was wandering near Duffs garbage can looking for hockey paragraph scraps to scarf on when it suddenly implanted itself(alien movie style) into Duff's skull.

No one noticed until Stoosh began to suspect the stupidity coming out of Duff's mouth sounded like Don Cherry Cheeks. Technically he is now known as Don Bob Duffincherrycheeks.

This info was stolen from fake Steigy's brain which is why there is not much to it.

Pensgirl said...

Dani - Pittsburghers usually embrace our natives, but Umberger is (and always was) a little bitch and deserves no such love. He and the Flyers deserve each other.

Stoosh - I started a comment that would further your rant but chose the joke because I decided my precious brain need not deal with such stupidity as Duff put forth.

Everything you said about Sid plays into why I broke my rule to never let the superstar be my favorite Pen (tangential to this discussion but noteworthy). He's an amalgamation of everything and everyone who came before him, and in that totally new. I find that astounding. It's also completely obvious. I don't know how the "experts" miss it.

Mike Lange gets it. His call they use in the jumbotron intro..."Sidney Crosby does it all...!" Yes, Mikey, exactly! And "all" includes a power game, a fierce contact game and an unprecedented intensity.

THN also gets it. To my great delight, they articulated it exactly the way I did when I finally understood what I was seeing from him: in the powerful people of hockey issue, they named him #1 because "Sidney Crosby is hockey."

It's really that simple, and all those other chumps are missing out on it.

theiss64 said...

I wasn't feeling the song...
...until the cotton candy guy "cameo."

Funny stuff.



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