Thursday, February 14, 2008

2 - 1


In a perfect world, The Penguins would win the next 25 games of the regular season.
Then they would win 16 straight playoff games, bring the Cup rolling down Grant Street.
And we'd all party all summer on the three rivers.

Realistically, you woke up today.
It was cold.
You were pissed.

That's life. If you can't handle one little loss, what are you really even about?
Come April, you might not even be alive.

Suck it up.
Get yourself together.

See you in Carolina.
Two words: Acid Queen


[Dustin K]


[Dave H.]

[Theresa V]



In the pregame, Ryan Malone gets the only faceoff win of his career.
The Pens need a new mat for ceremonies, or at least do the wash.

The Pens dressed 7 defenseman.
Kris Beech was scratched, which eliminated him from being a scapegoat tonight.

Not even a minute into the action, you're reminded that Zdeno Chara and his huge face were gonna job Malkin all game.

Some turd for the Bruins had an unreal chance to put the B's up 1-0 early, but Daryl Sydor dominates by tying up his stick.

In the Bruins' previous game, they were down 3-0 against the Hurricanes.
They played a good third period in that game.
You could tell they were feeding off something.

Pens d-man Alex Goligoski busts out the #67 for his NHL debut.
If you created yourself on NHL video games in the mid-90's and picked that number while you banged in 146 goals on a line with Lemieux and Jagr, you are not alone.

The Pens headed to the box, leaving it up to the PK unit to squash the Bruins' early jump.
The boys kill it, and Gonchar almost had a breakaway coming out of the box, but no dice.

After some jobbing and a Pens power play turning into poop, Gonchar complements his earlier penalty with an egregious giveaway behind the Pens net.
Shot, save, rebound.
Jokelainen puts it home.

And then just when you say that the Bruins don't scare you, the Pens lullygag in their own zone while the Bruins were playing hockey.

Puck goes in front. 2-0.


Well, if the Bruins didn't suck, it could've been 3-0 or 4-0.

The Pens go into the first intermission, knowing the tongue-lashing that awaited them.



If you want to know how the second period felt:

Make a fist and then punch yourself in your balls/ovaries.
Or just take off all your clothes and sit there until someone walks in on you.

Giant Gonzales took a penalty for hooking, but the Pens powerplay was out of sorts.

Jordan Staal then boarded someone.
Conk keeps the Pens in it.

Things get worse.
EC takes a slashing penalty.


Boston wasn't setting the world on fire. It was always just one and done for the Pens.
Gonch led a rush later in the second. He walked in all alone.
But Tim Thomas is a beast some nights.


After Gonch got the shot off, Aaron Ward tried to job him.
Gonch accidentally punched Ward in the throat.
Reports are he is throwing up blood or something.
He'll be fine.

The Bruins then took three street penalties.
The power play was Joke City.
The Bruins players were on PCP during the PK all night.

Things almost got interesting as Jordan Staal found EC in the crease.
Thomas had no clue. EC missed everything.
Right then and there, you could've shut the TV off. But whatev.

Another penalty on the Pens ends the second.



The Pens were able to kill off that penalty.
But that was about it.

Noting remotely interesting happened until Staal pick-pocketed some dude.
He got the puck to Talbot.
Talbot to EC...

[Double R]

It turned out being an awful game for EC.
Right after that, Staal trips someone.
Bad times.

The Bruins powerplay is mud though.
Malkin steals the puck.
He makes a little jump move but gets flattened by Dennis Wideman.

Refs stop play.
Kneeing on Wideman.

WTF. Claude Julien your thoughts?


Pens get a gift, but the power play is trash.
Thankfully, the refs are trying to fix the game for the Penguins for once.
They call a penalty on Marc Savard for existing.

The power play is not even into it.
Bad times.

Just when you think all is lost...
Malkin goes into flight.
Dennis Wideman pulls him down.

Coach Julien, your thoughts please?

[A Canaan joint]

This time Malkin takes over the world.
He gets a pass from Sykora.
Chara screens the goalie. 2-1.

[Doug G]

After the goal, spirits are raised.
But give the Bruins credit. They closed down everything.
If we ran Bruins blog, P.J. Axelson would be a big deal.

As father time entered the building, the Pens fell apart.

First, Gonch turned it over.
Two-on-none breakaway for the Bruins...

But we built this season on Conk n' Roll.
Just an unreal save.

As visions of the pop you just spilled run through your head, Letang turns it over.
Breakway for Phil Kessel.

No dice again. Dick.

Oh man.
Two huge saves.
Miracle on Grant Street?

Therrien calls a timeout.
Off the faceoff, Malone jobs some dude.
Refs had to call it.

Malkin almost ties it with a buzzer beater.
Wasn't meant to be.


[Theresa V]

  • Malkin: 1G
  • Sykora: 1A
  • Staal: 1A
  • Conk: 31 saves
  • Whatev. If this is the worst loss we face, we are lucky.
  • Conklin's saves at the end of the game were insane.
  • Coming down to Earth can hurt sometimes.
  • Huge game in Carolina coming Thursday night.
  • Boston is cheap, but tough
  • This is Kris Beech's fault.

They tried to make Marc-Andre Fleury go to rehab, he said ok-ok-ok.

30 saves on 31 shots.
[Faceoff Factor]


And finally...

Happy Valentines Day to all the girlfriends, boyfriends,
wifes, husbands and life partners out there.


canaanregulatesblog said...

[this space reserved for Doug G]

he deserves this FIRST placement because of the "incredible malk" photoshop. so sick solid.

Ailuj58 said...

The Only good thing about my night was this blog, so freaking funny, I think I woke my roommate up laughing out loud, it's not like she'd get it anyways..whatev.

chels810 said...

love the incredible malk photo, it's priceless. Me=stunned, still. Prepare for a full blown SABUtage tomorrow.

FritoWill said...

malkin photoshop maybe the best of the season so far.

the Jib Jab video has scarred me for life.

solid effort guys!

apk said...

no maybe, the Incredible Malk's the best of the bunch this season.

and, surprisingly, MAFs new white pads are pretty badass, because they're just as stark loud as the yellow ones.

Anonymous said...

I have a ton of work to get done today and haven't gotten the wife anything for Valentine's Day yet, so I'm wigging out, but the Jib Jag video somehow removed my worry.

Thanks guys!

Quingo77 said...

I live down here in Norfolk and the news this morning said Fluery was a beast. Wife did not want to go to the game just to scout Fluery and Kennedy for the sole purpose of updating all of you on this website. However we did watch the Penguins in Mud last night. The game was a mirror image to their last game against Carolina where they were Mud for 2 and then won it in the 3rd.

Acid Queen, prepare to be the biggest loser(2nd biggest tonight).

Can anyone actually job him/herself? If so EC did that to himself last night.

Lastly on the guy from Boston who left with throat injury. My wife is an x-ray technician(takes pictures of people!) and she said she thinks that guy who Gonchar jobbed probably broke his hyroid bone in his throat and if so it can puncture something in your throat = painful

some guest said...

best recap of a loss ever. i didnt see the game, but i got a pretty good idea of what happened from here rather than reading an 'official' recap.

Emily said...

A loss sucks, but in the grand scheme of losses, this one is was just disappointing because they've been playing so spot on lately and last night they just looked sort of..confused. Conk's saves near the end were miraculous. That dude's a beast.

I agree with everyone, the Incredible Malk was life changing.

Dwayne said...

agreed, incredible malk already is and forever will be an ageless classic. excellent job, doug g.

ryan c said...

sheesh... charlie is really letting himself go! they must like em fat up there in canada!

Korn said...

Why does Therrien think dressing 3 and 2/3 lines and 7 D is a good idea? that never works, messes up the flow. Yes, Kris Beech would have helped. Yikes.

Goligoski looks pretty good, he came flying out of the zone with the puck a few times. I enjoyed the scouting report on him though that "a stiff breeze could knock him over". Might have to work on beefing him up.

Anonymous said...

Heard something interesting on the radio on Monday. Had on Mr. 8.7 Mark Madden. He was reading an email from a listened named "Kenny" who sent in some Malkin Facts. They were all stolen from the Gary Roberts Facts facebook page. Is there any chance it was the infamous Kenny Melvin? Would he do something like that and completely take credit for the work of others? I wonder.....


Kristen PB said...

Awesome pic of "Malk" - just phenomenal.

I almost spit out my coffee at the first pic of Julien...which should be entitled: "Walrus Awaking"

I see no logic in changing up the lines when the last couple of games everyone seemed to be clicking so well. It couldn't have been just to get Goligoski WTF?

snoopyjode said...

WOW. that incredible malk pic would make a SICK t-shirt... DAMN TRADEMARKS/COPYRIGHTS!!!

Lady Jaye said...

Haha, ripping on Don Cherry just never gets old. And singing with the chorus here: Incredible Malk photoshop = priceless. Good job!!

Stoosh said...

Between the Incredible Malk, the Julien photoshops (laughed out loud at the KFC one) and the Christensen GPS one...would've been nice to see the Pens bring a comparable effort last night, but that's OK.

Pens took six out of eight possible points on the homestand, kiddies. What's better, four of those points came against division rivals. We need all the help we can get there. 13 of our next 14 games are against non-division foes (only exception being a trip to Nassau Mausoleum). Good news is that six of those 18 games are also against the Southeast Division.

This might be blasphemy, but I think Fleury's new white pads look better than the gold ones.

IceCold... said...

Missed the game last night, thankfully. appreciate your recap more than anything i listened to or watched.

hoping someone could shed some light on why #67 made it into the lineup. not trying to bitch, i just honestly want to hear some opinions

incredible malk = OUR SAVIOR

jt said...

As much as I respect Clemente, if Mario doesn't win the Dapper Dan award for Best Athlete in Pittsburgh Sports History I may have to boycott Pittsburgh. You can vote here:

Along those lines if A-Hole wins the MVP I may have to boycott hockey. If he didn't play in the Southeast he'd be irrelevant. They'd still be 3 points out of the playoffs. Plus 5 of the bottom 6 teams in defense come from that division... everyone scores against them.

Stoosh said...

ANON (Matt) @ 8:21 AM - I keep Madden's show on at work, mostly because he does talk hockey quite a bit and also because for some reason, I don't get XM reception in my office. If you listen to his show and hear "Kenny from Turtle Creek", that's Melvin.

And yes, none of his sports-related thoughts are his own.

nu said...

More pictures of the MAFer in action last night for anyone who's interested....

I miss the yellow.

homesprout said...

Let's blame the loss on the greed of the One Hill Community Benefits Coalition.....


wilsmith said...

@mike georger from yesterday:
are you kidding?! cancellations?! Jealousyblog.

I didnt get to watch last night, had my own game to play in though, so it makes up for it.

Lloyd said...

I'm glad to know that when i seen an email in my inbox stating that there were more JibJabs available... i could go to thePensBlog and see it in action.

Is anyone else pissed at Steiggy for calling the comeback before the last commercial?


I know Sirius lets you stream over the internet, doesn't XM?

diabeticsRcooler said...

That Don Cherry/ Pensblog Charlie Jib Jab is what life is all about

good thing we play tonight or i wouldve spent Valentine's day punching toddlers

The bruins get one sick defensive forward per Johan

Ty Conklin was a bigger deal than Julie the Cat Gafney against Gunner Stahl last night

too bad the rest of the team was mud... shit happens


Lloyd said...

Happy First Birthday to EmptyNetters

Stoosh said...

ICECOLD - I think the Bruins game was the best time to get Goligoski (#67) into some NHL game action. The upcoming schedule is a bit brutal - two road games (at Carolina, at Buffalo), back home for Florida and then three tough ones (at Montreal, home for Ottawa and San Jose). Other than that Florida game, the rest of those games are going to be tough games.

So I'm not saying last night was a throwaway game, but we'd already taken the first three games of the homestand. The Bruins have problems scoring goals and they aren't an overwhelming offensive team. I'm not terribly upset that they decided to give Goligoski a shot last night. I wasn't crazy about going with seven d-men, but I'm also not sure who should've been scratched from the defense. I might have given Sydor the night off or something, but other than that, I'm not sure.

LLOYD - XM does stream over the internet, but unfortunately, my company firewall Conkblocks streaming media. Booooo, company firewall.

Anonymous said...

Kennedy is back with Pittsburgh. No clue what they plan to do with him, but it looks like it may involve Beech not seeing the ice.

Randall said...

Well, hopefully this at least means Goligoski will be on the new roster updates for video games everywhere after the trade deadline. I was thinking maybe this is a sign that Sydor could be traded, but I don't know why you would trade a guy before the playoffs start when that is one of the main reasons that you brought him here in the first place, his playoff experience. So we'll see what happens I guess. But back to the video game, honestly, take a look at the Pens roster page right now, and all those players could be on their roster come the next update, haha it's insane. I mean, I'm not a loser.

Kennedy has been recalled.

I like Fleury's new pads, but it's hard to replace the yellow ones. But if he can continue you to stop 30 out of 31 shots, we just may have a serious 1-2 combo come playoffs.

I really enjoyed my GPS photoshop and then I saw the Incredible Malk one and realized I was blown out of the water. Very nice photoshop, I agree, best so far. Nice job.

dying alive said...

Great work on the photoshops!

Does anyone know if there's some kind of secret to getting your Text 2 Screen displayed at the game? I send them in all the time and have yet to see one up there. Frustrationblog.

Ashley said...

I liked the yellow pads on MAF, but if the white ones make him feel bigger in net, and if shooters think that MAF looks bigger in the net, then I'm all for the white pads.

Crappy loss, for sure, but hey the Pens are still topping the division and second in the East. I'd only start to worry if they lost the next 5 games.

Hooks Orpik said...

Getting hit/punched in the throat is one of my biggest fears in life. Hopefully Ward (who was spitting up blood) will be ok.

Can't wait to see Tyler Kennedy back...Another forward healthy means we're that much closer to getting rid of Kris Beech forevermore.

EmDubs said...

So seriously, what is the deal with them taking your cap off your bottle at sporting events? If I pay $4.00 for a beverage, don't I now own the rights to the cap? I recently started bringing my own cap. Down with the oppressive sports entertainment beverage nazis!

Sorry about this. I just felt like bitching about something and can't bring myself to complain about the team being that they're in first place in the division and whatnot.

Mike Georger said...

the balls on that kid to go with 67 = wheelbarrow needed to carry them around

the fried chicken chop is incredible, nice work

ive spent the last twenty minutes in my office watching the 'murdock ... im coming to get you!' scene from first blood 2 to get me psyched up for tonights game, cant stand the canes

Anonymous said...

Pens are 1-6 on Wednesday night games.

Johnny Wrath said...

•Boston’s trap/forecheck clinic gave me the same sinking feeling I had during last years’ playoff tactical mismatch. It’s like when Gorgeous George and Tommy take off with the caravan, but not its’ wheels.

•Therrien went on and on about how well he knows Julien. Then the puck dropped, and I wonder if he understood what he had said in English. What was he saying after Period 1, down 2-0 with four shots on net? Whatever it was, it wasn’t effective, and it certainly wasn’t plural. “We going to play like we want to keep our hand in a fire”.

•Crusher is the most psychologically tortured player I’ve ever seen. Army alleges he was livid after scoring on someone because “He didn’t put it where he wanted”. Right.

•Last night was a strange night. The number “3” kept popping up. Three behind Ottawa. Three ahead of New Jersey. Ottawa and New Jersey play a three point game. Meanwhile, we have a three-game-winning homestand snapped in a three-goal game.

Eric K said...

finally TK is back, ill take him over the Pilgrim John Smith or Beech anyday.

2nd time we played the Canes, 4-3 shootout win, Sabu was in net.

Jeffry said...

trade fleury, the new pads suck

iceburgh said...

That JibJab video changed my life.

Solid recap considering a bad game guys.

Photoshops were amazing as always.

Carolina Tonight Baby!

seeker said...

Vent time:

- What's happened to EC this season? He had a laser shot last year and really could seem to put the puck anyplace he wanted. Remember all the talk of him practicing hitting bottles hung from the net?

- Gonchar does seem to have a problem when pressured in that area of the ice...he's done it before. When I saw him take the puck and begin skating toward the corner I said to myself ' what you gonna do with the puck? Whatever you do don't try a reverse pass to the other D man'. Then he did exactly that and got an assist for the Bruins.

Not being able to see the rest of the zone though, I can't blame him entirely because I don't know if any other Pen gave him an outlet.....PUCK SUPPORT GUYS!!!

- Was Laraque on downers? He lethargically skated over to the lose puck like he had all the time in the world and then took longer to decide what he'd do with it. By that time, he gets checked and FALLS DOWN! If it were anyone but BGL, I could see the fall.... but PLU-EEZE!

/end vent

The GPS and Malk pshops were terrific. But the steven s penguin doin' the one-finger salute friggin' rules. Money recap too!

BlacknGold66 said...

Man, it's a good thing me and the lady friend took care of Valentine's Day crap last night by missing the Pens game and seeing a play.

No, it was not the story of the 1998 Czech Olypic team.

Jersey Bill said...

I am disgusted and amused, all at once. I have thrown up in my mouth and had liquid come out of my nose, all at once. No mas.

Anonymous said...

Any word on scratches yet for tonight?

Anonymous said...

i mean aren't fleury's new pads just for WBS? he better not be wearing that white shit up here when he comes back.

canaanregulatesblog said...

4:07 anon...

he's doing away with the banana pads. i didn't like them anyway!

Brett said...

Maybe Fleury wants to invoke images of Gandalf.. you know? first it was gandalf the grey (or perhaps yellow), and he could so some cool stuff, but then he got his face rocked and was gone for a while, but when he game back he was Gandalf the white, and he kicked serious ass.


Anonymous said...

I'm glad TK's coming back ... he always brings this intense energy that will help out his and the other lines.

I really wanted Malone or Laraque to fight Wideman or Chara. Malone was pretty close to taking Wideman's head off ... reminded me of the time Sid got hit by dim-Witt in mid-ice and Malone went after him. Laraque hasn't been pushing a lot of people around lately ...

Did anyone see that did an article on Malone? Not bad ... but they mention the loser from Plum.

I heard that some jobber joked with Malkin about how Sid isn't coming back. Malkin got kind of scared and angry ... What jag-off does that to a poor innocent Russian boy who doesn't understand enough English to get through a conversation with Potash? Angryblog.

On PensTV, I watched the episode of Inside Penguins Hockey. What was with Steiggy making Staal feel like an idiot? Everyone knows about what happened at the bachelor party ... how many teenagers haven't had alcohol? Then, Steiggy jinxes our possible comeback. MadthatSteiggyisassociatedwiththePenguinsandLangedoesn'thavehisspotblog!

I also heard that Malone and Sydor are keeping their stars ... which brings us to Roberts ... how will he wear the "A" if Sarge, Bugsy, and Darryl are? Maybe, they make special rules for Roberts?

just stop it said...

lange isn't on tv anymore. get over it, pittsburgh. the wah'ing must end.

Anonymous said...

to "just stop it"...

steigy is that you?

steigy's proxy said...

nope. just a pens fan who finds it obnoxious that lange has to be brought up ad nauseum. get over it.

Seth Rorabaugh said...

Thanks Lloyd!

lange>steiggy said...

explain how steiggy is better.

Flyer Hater said...

Lange>over everyone (except maybe Jim Hughson of CBC)

Anonymous said...

STAFF- I think it would be cool if you had a Conklin shirt that said something to the effect of "You've just been Conkblocked" just an idea

Baskethead Melvin said...

flyer hater = kenny melvin

Flyer Hater said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
neilWorldorder said...

wow the first thing i thought of when i saw goligoski wearing #67 was damn that was my number when i created myself in nhl 95

bluzdude said...

Me + Incredible Malk = Stunned

bluzdude said...

Crap... should have read all the comments first.

Inadvertently, Me + Impatience = Copycat.

Dr. Turkleton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
snickerdoodles said...

Oh my goodness! Happy Valentine's Day, indeed! I thought Charlie had better taste in men, but I guess ol DC can get a sympathy f*** every once in a while!!!


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