Friday, January 4, 2008

Make Like A Tree. PENS WIN.

[pit.<span class=
6 - 2


A game like this forces us to repeat the mantra:
Don't get too high, don't get too low.

The Pens have won 5 in a row. 6 of 7.
While injury bugs are building a colony in the Pens locker room.

Every team needs a solid streak during the season.
We are amidst it right now.

And even better.

National Anthem

[Thanks to "Go Pens"]

[Dennis O.]


UniformGate continues between the Leafs and Pens.
The Leafs make the Pens wear the blacks on the road when they play in Toronto on Saturday night.

In what can only be seen as a jobber move, the Pens don the whites, making the Leafs wear the blues.

Leafs third jersey

The Pens come back to home, sweet the second-worst ice surface they'll play on all season.

Twenty seconds into the game, it's so great to see the Pens wearing white at home.
The good ol' days.

The Leafs were cycling like monkeys, and the puck came out into the slot.
Darcy Tucker fires a one-timer.

Conklin craps himself.
Erik Christensen comes as close as he's ever gonna get to the net when he gets to the puck just as it was about to fully cross the goal line.

[We jobbed Christensen here prior to him playing balls out. This is why we are jokes]

They have to send it up 79 north, 90 east, then the QEW to Toronto.
The phone call gets hit on by a man as it enters the Toronto metropolitan area.

No goal.

Later, Kennedy hooks someone from the grassy knoll and heads to the box.

Blake had a half-hour in front of Conk to pick his spot, but no dice.
The Pens kill it.

After another minute, Blake makes up for his jokery earlier on by getting to the net and banking one in off of Conklin. 1-0.

[ Dr. J Schiff ]
This could be seen as an distasteful jobbing, but it's a skin-tone jobbing.

Then we turn around and get another penalty. Sykora heads to the box.

Bing was on the top PK unit this time around.
If you watched him, you saw he was sharking up at the point, which left the Leafs with a wide-open one-timer from the mid- to high-slot.

He eventually dominated and got the puck out of there.

Before you knew it, Sykora was back out.

Toronto goalie Scott Clemmensen had already ate a chicken sandwich and was fast asleep.

Laraque comes onto the ice for the first time and makes his presence known.
It generates some business. Jeff Taffe forgets the puck.

As the first period winded down, Malkin carried it into the zone and got dragged down.
Joke Kubina stays on Malkin and jobs him.

Only time Kubina could stop anyone all night.

Mark Bell drinks some beer and sucker-punches Army.
Somehow, because it is the Maple leafs. Army heads to the box.
But the Pens kept a 5-on-4 PP.

They set up their pieces in the Maple Leaf zone, but nothing at all developed.

The Maple Leafs deserved to be getting out of the first with the lead.

Conk is the reason it's only a one-goal deficit.


Winter Classic commentary is running on fumes.
There is little left.

However, when we all saw the Caps fans crying conspiracy when Sid netter the game-winner,
it got us thinking.

Were the Penguins set up to be the scapegoat for the NHL and NBC?

The game was dragging.
No penalties were called for the second half of the game.

Oh...except for one...

...One which gave a team a golden 4-on-3 chance in overtime...

The NHL and NBC were aware of the time constraints of the game.
It had already gone past the alloted time.

Is that why the zambonis (zambonies?) didn't come out before the shootout?
Is that why a team was given a 4-on-3 in overtime out of nowhere?





To start off the second, Malkin loses an edge and goes into the end boards at Mach 8.
Always scary.

On the next shift, Sykora gets a shot off, rebound to Christensen.
He finds the net.


A minute later, Gonchar and Crosby hook up on a shot-pass, but Sid can't get the mustard on it.

Christensen wasn't done.
He makes another dent in the game when he puts a shoulder into Matt Stajan.
Stajan acts like he's not on a hockey rink.

He slashes Christo's stick, then stabs him in the balls.
Darcy Tucker grabs Christo and probably wants to make out with him.

No matter. The Pens get a PP.
They had some chances on that one.
Again nothing.

The next shift, Tucker was back out there, looking for a man.
Ruutu was there.

[Thanks to Eric P]

It rivaled Roberts/Eaton in terms of awesomeness.

Ruutu throwing haymakers. Tucker throwing gaymakers.
Ruutu totally dominated. He all but mushroom stamps Tucker.

The game heated up a little more after that, with some jobbing going on everywhere.

Two solid photoshops arrive minutes after the fight.

Nicholas E.

[Eric R]

Down the homestretch, Crosby brings out his big-dealness.
He swoops into the slot and fires a backhand to the net.
Malkin jumps off the truck and picks up the trash.

The fourth line came out after that and smelled blood.
Rutuu came out of the box and got jobbed by someone.

We're not lip readers, but at the tail end of the second, did Michel Therrien call someone a feckin' pr*ck?

Out of nowhere, Chad Kilger gets sprung on the breakaway, but it's postblog.
The Maple Leafs hit 30 post tonight.

Sydor ends up in the box because Toronto fixes games.

The Pens had 53 seconds left to kill to start the third.


Jack Riley comes into the booth during the intermission wearing a jacket that shocks the world.



The action tapered off big-time to start the third.

What happened next can only be compared to a no-name episode of Monday Night Raw back in 1999 when someone crossed Stone Cold Steve Austin the wrong way.

Staal dominating the world. Kennedy picks up his rifle, grabs a loose puck, stick handles in a phone booth.


After a quick job in the Pens zone, Sid flies out of there with Malkin as his sidecar.
Malkin heads to the net.
Crosby gets it to him.


Next faceoff, Sykora gets past a defender, gets a shot off, rebound.

Maple Leaf Paul Maurice: Stunned

Maple Leaf fans stunned:

[Thanks to Randy L. for the pic]

Standing Ovation for the Pens. What an atmosphere.
It could be the white jerseys at home.

Pens get a penalty. Nobody cares.
Malone and Bell drop the gloves. Malone gets the best of him.

Chants of GO HOME LEAFS and U.S.A. echo off the roof of the igloo.
If you were there, you probably felt like you could run into a fire.

The Leafs scored. 5-2. Whatev.

The Pens get the power play later.
The main objective here was to get the puck to Malkin.

They tried a set play that opened him up down deep, but he couldn't finish it.

They went to the backup plan, which was the one-timer from the right face-off dot.
They got to that formation after a sick touch pass by Malkin between the legs.

After a couple failed attempts for a solid opportunity, Whitney hooks him up.


Soon after, a Leaf goes off for 4 minutes.
The Pens turn into the Harlem Globetrotters and kill the clock.

Back in his Toronto home.
Long time Maple Leafs fan, Peter Puck had seen enough.


Elvis has left the building

  • Malkin: HTblog
  • Syko: 1 G, 1 A
  • Bing: 2 A
  • Ruutu: 2 A
  • Gonch: 2A
  • Conk: 33 saves

  • Wow.
  • Retribution for that ass-handing earlier this season at the Mellon.
  • Mellon seemed like old times.
  • Weren't the Pens supposed to fold after MAF went down?
  • The Maple Leafs gave up. Terrible.
  • Leafs defense is the worst in the business. Ouch.
  • Sweet Youtube of the Rutuu fight. Complete with punch counter. [Youtube ]
  • Why was Steigy accusing Canadians of things?


canaanregulatesblog said...


When is Bob Errey going to be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame?

i''ll be waiting.

crusher said...

anyone else see the malkin interview after the game?!?

jimmymo32 said...

good recap guys.... but after Crusher's Goal in the 2nd period it made the score 1-1... not 1-0... just throwin' that out there

Jonathan said...

Why was Steigy "accusing" the Canadiens? Cause Don Cherry is a douchebag who said Ruutu "got what he deserved" during the Simon incident. Don Cherry, for what he means to hockey and all, could die a painful death and I could care less. This is an old man who dresses like Dennis Rodman on a good day and makes Barry Melrose look like the patron saint of ice hockey. Just die you old fart so we can name some junior rink in Ass Fuck, Saskatchewan after you. First time Steigy has made me proud since uttering "Holy Shit" in 'Sudden Death'.

DarkStar said...

quickest amber alert in history? Elizabeth Smart is one pissed off girl right now. Anyway, Steigy's jobbing of Canadian journalism may have had something to do with Don Cherry's (recent) comments on the CBC after the Chris Simon leg stomp. I'll post the exact link once i find it, but Cherry basically said that Rutuu deserved what he got because of his style of play. In the same segment, he goes on to remind us that Rutuu (and Ryan Hollweg) never missed a game due to Simon's actions, and that Rutuu is basically a pussy for his "agitate but never drop the gloves style of play." whatever. I could go on forever about the CBC and their sense of entitlement over the sport of hockey but I'll spare you. (trust me, listen to the Hockey Night in Canada broadcast on Sirius and you'll know what I'm talking about.) Anyway, I've noticed over the last few years that there are other Canadian media outlets that seem to insinuate the same; and it seems it all comes down to the different styles of play demonstrated by Canadian and European players. Again, whatever, F the leafs, Go Pens. Love the whites at home.

P.S. Talked to many friends who were at the Ice Bowl, and they pretty much confirmed all that has been said: Sabres fans=douchenozzles

thepensbob said...

so i was at the bar tonight celebrating the victory, and as the drinks started to go down, so too did my inhibitions.... i decided to try out my new found confidence. i started to schmooze with the lady next to me and things were going swimmingly. i was just about ready to extend the pants party invite her way when all of a sudden, her friend approaches with the Mr. McMahon theme music blaring in the background. they soon exit with nary a smile or a nod. not good times. a short time later, the bartender comes up to me and says "sorry buddy, saw what happened. that's rough." my response? "yeah, conk block city, baby." she laughed uncontrollably after that because she knew exactly what i was talking about. True story! love you guys, keep up the great work.

stokes said...

excellent jobs of Joke Cherry by jonathan and darkstar.
Joke Cherry is worse than John Madden by a long shot.

Geno was on fire and i can not get enough of that pass. unreal.

white at home permanently?

Elly said...

What was going on with Bob and Steigy? They're not terrible announcers, but they were just way off all night, odd comments and snarky little jabs at the Leafs. It was downright difficult to listen to them at some points.

Anonymous said...

Would it kill the a-hole in the second anthem pic to put his nachos down for 30 seconds? Lard-ass.

EmDubs said...

Did anyone see the interview with Sid during the postgame show? You would think the Pens lost?!?! They were all asking Crosby about whether or not they were moving slow tonight because the excitement of the Ice Bowl was over and a bunch of other questions basically about why the team sucks. WTF?!?! They just won 6-2 and are on a 5 game winning streak. What kind of questions are those? Ridiculous.

Jonny V said...

For years, I've been trying to place what Jason Blake reminds me of. Thank you Pensblog, I've finally realized he is Nosferatu.

Fleury29 said...




Eric P, thanks for the vid of the Tucker/Ruutu fight. It was nice to see it instead of hearing about it on internet radio.

(Note to self, get Center Ice next season.)

Excellent recap tonight, Pensblog Staff, posts like this are the reason this blog is a big deal.

slush said...

Id like a counter on how many times a game we hear "fortuitous bounce".

Ruutu is the man. Loved the interview with Malkin after. All smiles. Good times. Solid recap guys.

Any ladies going to H&H on Feb 2??

MummRa said...

Ok folks, time to pray and settle up your transgressions because the Rapture is due any day now.

The seventh seal has been opened! Ty Conklin is 6 - 0! End Days!

Pensgirl said...

Any ladies going to H&H on Feb 2??

I am, with the mom. Sounded like the presentation will be a little 101 for us, but the 29er and Potash? Can't miss that!

Korn said...

Loved this line from last night's commentblog:

"Tyler Kennedy is doing just about everything Mark Recchi was asked to do at the beginning of the year." I'd have to guess most people have forgotten about Mr Recchi, at least the 2007 version of him.

Gotta love how these guys have come together, even with the some big time injuries.

Errey a great color guy? Even his broadcast partner hates him. Steigy goes out of his way to job Errey when he makes dumbass comments.

One last thing. I think you guys didn't give nearly enough credit to Christensen's goal. Picked up the rebound? That was a sweet wrap-around, how often do you see those anymore?

Stoosh said...

Absolutely classic recap post, folks.

While the Ruutu-Tucker "Ali" photoshop was great, the Malkin Stunner almost caused me to fall out of my chair. That thing bleeds awesomeness in about sixty different ways.

Lady Jaye said...

Ah good read this morning guys. At least you were honest that you were jobbing Christo before he scored. :)

jaos said...

MT did say "fucking prick" after finishing a conversation with a ref and doing his signature eyebrow raise.

some guest said...

awesome recap

wonder if that joke on HNIC will mention the fight. or malkins first hat trick.

i can see something similar to 'well the refs broke that up too soon becuase my lov, er i mean tucker would have got loose and won. as for malkin, he was running up the score.'

i love how there are now several clips of this fight on youtube.

Brett said...

From ESPN's power rankings:
"Ty Conklin. Who Knew?" Seriously.

I didn't like Don Cherry for a long time. He's annoying, he cuts off that other guy, he's way too loud and opinionated..

.. and then he called the Penguins organization "Classless" for what we "did" to Recchi. He said basically we should be ashamed of ourselves for treating a vet like that, and poo-poo'd us for about a minute.

And now you tell me he basically supports psychos injuring players?

I really, really hate that man.

mary said...

Solid recap guys.

Glad I wasn't the only one freakin about Jack Riley's jacket. I so was ready to shut down Google looking for it, til he said there were only a few made.

geezer said...

Don Cherry is the most self absorbed narcisstic flamer that ever opened it's fetid piehole. He is classless and is basically a big assed Canadian REDNECK in a hall of flamer suit. NEVER, pens nation, NEVER listen to his spew. Your head will explode from the biased vitriole as if you viewed The snaked head of Medusa.

jim said...

does anyone have a link to the malkin post-game interview with potash? the center ice feed didn't show it.

Mike Costa said...

Hands Down This Was The Best Recap Of The Year

Nicholas said...

Wait wait wait. In that first pic, why is Sundin making making out with a man news? I thought that was just what he always does after games

Anonymous said...

hands down this was my favorite game of the year!

Korn said...

I am disappointed the photoshop with Sundin in the Maple Leafs body suit didn't make it into the recap. Always makes me laugh.

Master of the Obvious said...

Maybe it's the Penguins rejuvenated play. Maybe it was the Winter Classic's sheer amazingness. It could even have been a spark that came from the unsolicited criticism from a jobber on Commentorblog (*cough*)

All I know is that the Pensblog, much like your boys in vegas gold and black, are chugging at full steam again.

When Stone Cold Steve Austin is giving out stunners like it's his job and men in assless chaps model the new Leafs third jerseys, you absolutely know the staff is on their game.

Good stuff guys...

Maal said...

LOVe the dick drawn on tucker's face in that first pic. totally stealing some of those photoshops to send to some ruutu fans i know.

Anonymous said...

can't find the malkin w/potash interview from after the game anywhere..... only video close to it was a post-game interview in the lockerroom.

Eric said...

post-game interview
Potash: "Geno, how bout one more question in English"
Malkin (pointing to the locker room): "No, no, no"
Potash: "Cmon ill give you an easy one" (asks question)
Malkin: "No, ask George"

classic stuff.

Anonymous said...

can people not pronounce malkin's first name? lol...

"ev-gini"? malkin.

Spencemo said...

Hmmm...lookey at what we've got here in the recap...assless chaps. Nice to see they've made a return!

Mike said...

I was at the game last night in a section filled with idiot leafs fans. Man, they shut up fast after the Pens starting scoring. I wish I would have take a picture of the full row of leafs jerseys 2 rows behind me after that spurt in the 2nd period. They looked suicidal.

Best dumbass leafs fan comment: "You're a bunch of fucking homers!" after the disallowed goal. Meanwhile the goal was reviewed in Toronto.

Man I hate those Leafs fans.

wilsmith said...

I missed the game, but I will almost as excited as I would have been watching it when I was reading through the stunner sequence.

Stunner pictures need to be a regular thing when there's action like that!

sot said...

that one-touch between the legs pass was somethin else

neilWorldorder said...

can you guys please finish the Jobbers Saga we've been waiting patiently.

Eric said...

worst article you will read this decade...

where is this guy at? he wants less games, less teams, no fights, and relocation of teams that arent in "thriving markets". complete joke. totaly jobs the game completely. he deleted the picture of him making out with Jason Blake shortly after i discovered the post..

AJ said...

The crudely drawn cock on Tucker's face and the pissed off Peter Puck made this the greatest game recap ever on Pensblog. Hysterical!

The Hebrew Hammer said...

Stunner sequence=hardest laugh i've ever had reading this blog and that's saying a ton.

Anonymous said...

Don Cherry:Hockey :: Ann Coulter/Bill O'Reilly:US Politics


Anonymous said...

Heres the video of Cherry talking shit on Ruutu...

In the same video he also gets pissy about showing a clip of Bing

Steve In Denver said...

I need to get photoshop to do my own Don Cherry expo. Except the guy is already a living photoshop. He looks like a Scandanavian-pimp version of Burl Ives from the beginning of all those Christmas cartoons.

Oh, and as far as not letting the highs get too high and the lows get too low, fuck that, I've been beaming like the dude in the viagra commercial for the last week and a half, especially the last 2 games.

Anonymous said...

i was at the game last night and want to say you guys took it home. it was my first pens game and what a game to see. jason blake is "powder" nice photoshop. heres the link if you havnt a clue what i am talking about.

Anonymous said...

Hey KORN! Recchi may just be one of the hottest players in the league right now so how about you lay off the old man he lit the lamp and got another helper tonight. we should all thank lord for putting one of the down points on his career he is defently not a one liner however we would be all the better if we still had him. I will agree however that it is not important the boys are really jellin GO PENS

Jersey Bill said...

@ jonathan
Is Ass Fuck, Saskatchewan anywhere near Shit Cock, Ontario? No doubt, some of Cherry's favorite summer vacation spots.

Korn said...

Anon @ 9:55

I have to say, I haven't been paying attention to Recchi's recent exploits in Atlanta. Kudos to him. He must be accepting the role his coach has asked him to play and is benefitting from it. Too bad he couldn't do the same thing here. Personally, I know I'm a little hard on the guy, but I haven't had much patience for him since he and Leclair gave Sid and the youngsters such a hard time in 05-06, and as a result was shipped to Carolina. He redeemed himself last year, but should never have been resigned over the summer.

On another note, your run-on post reminds me of this golden nugget I found recently. Not hockey related, but high comedy.

Click Me

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