Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Conk Unit. PENS WIN.

4 - 1

[ NHL.com Recap ]

In the NHL, the saves made by goalies are considered especially huge.
The dedicated player for the Penguins who makes these saves is part of an elite squad known as The Conk Unit.

These are his stories...



[Anonymous] [Franko]

[Jonathan V]


If you weren't paying attention at the beginning of the game, you were soon stunned.

The atmosphere during the anthem and preceding the opening faceoff was insane, and it was punctuated when Laraque and Colton Orr drop the gloves.
People go crazy.

Solid fight.

It was old-time Penguins hockey soon thereafter, when the Pens made the Rangers pay for going to the box.

Malkin had it deep, toed the goal line.

He goes upstairs and bangs Henrik Lundqvist's girlfriend.


This was a game where Crosby was simply possessed.
Every time he grabbed the puck, he was gone.

Three minutes after the first goal, he Top Guns into the zone, gets a shot off.
The puck just sits there in the crease.
Malkin was sharking around all night. He sneaks in and pops it home.


Picture: All Star Scott Gomez getting back on defense on that goal.
Don't worry, we don't see him either.

Malkin was everywhere.
He sprays King Henrik with some ice.
Micheal Rosajoke gets all worked up about it.

Rosajoke was out of control.
The very next play, Malkin drops him with a solid shoulder check.
The crowd goes nuts. That is big time.

Before you know it, Pens get a powerplay.
During the powerplay, Ty Conklin's stick breaks.
He ends up using the bottom half of his stick, as is allowed in the NHL rulebook.

Rulebookblog [NHL.com]

With one Ranger already in the box, Rosajoke peoples elbows Letang.
5 on 3. Gonch wires it in from the point.

Somehow, the Rangers came out of the first with the advantage in shots.
But there's a guy in net who is hot.
And we're talking about Frank Pietrangelo in Games 6 and 7 of the Patrick Division semifinals against the Devils in 1991 hot.

All you have to do is let him see the puck.
The first period had nothing on the second, though.

The only other thing that happened was Rosajoke getting crushed by a high stick.

It was all Double J's fault.
Talbot was there, hoping to get another phantom high-stick call.



Amidst the Verizon text-message thing during one of the intermissions,
a brave human out there sent "Hungry Hungry Hippos!" to the screen.
What a moment.

But that moment was topped by Vinnie from the X, who was hosting all the trivia questions and stuff during breaks in the action.
He was rocking a WWGRD wristband plain as day.


A call came into Pittsburgh precinct roughly around 8:00, saying that an unidentified male, 6'3", 230 lbs, weird hair, shirt tucked in pants, was trying to bang the puck home.

Ty Conklin arrives at the scene and hands outs Razor's Edges to everyone.

Shot. Save.
Shot. Save.
Shot. Save.

The Rangers completely dominated the action in the second period, outshooting the world 17-2.

But there was Ty Conklin and his defensive corps, turning everything aside.
There weren't even any close calls. All in a day's work.

Picture: All Star Scott Gomez trying to set up a scoring chance.
Must be the cameras at the Mellon Arena. It would seem Gomez is invisible.

Nothign really else happened in the second.
Pens got called for another pentaly.

Staal and Hall get a late chance.
No dice.


Lord Therrien had the Pens on cruise control to start the third.

The thought of another Malkin hat trick danced in everyone's head.
Speaking of heads, tonight was a ski-cap giveaway night.
If the writers weren't on strike, we'd say this was scripted.

Digressing, the Pens could afford to shove Malkin into the spotlight to get another hat trick.
It almost signaled the end of the world.

Not even two minutes into the third, Crosby lunges for a puck that gets sent to Malkin going full speed in the slot.
Malks goes down on one knee, doesn't know what's going on.

You watch him routinely fly full speed into the boards, as he usually does.
And then you saw #87...

Flashback blog

The world stopped turning during the 8 seconds it took for Crosby and Malkin to get up in Lemieux, one-knee, weight of his body on his stick to get up fashion.

The sigh of relief from the Pens faithful in Mellon Arena actually caused some 5-year-old kid in section C32 to die from carbon-monoxide poisoning.

The drama wasn't over, though.

The next two penalties on the Penguins were legit.
Crosby is a jobber and definitely interfered.
He's smart. He knows what he's doing.

The Pens kill that off beautifully.

As Crosby gets out of the box, the Pens go right back in.

Malkin was racing with some terd for a loose puck.
If you hit someone who does not have the puck, it's a penalty.
When you knock a person down in a race for a puck, that's interference.

The emotion was running high, and it was culminated with Jagr spoiling the shutout party.

Double J Style

Jagr booing had died off as of late, but this game, for whatever reason, brought the heat.

[<span class=

We take the time to give it to Doc Emerick, for his jobber remark back in the first period.
Something along the lines of:

"And here are the Penguins fans booing Jagr.
They must have forgotten about those two Stanley Cup championships."

And then he just jumped right back into calling the action.
This is one of the few times the award has been given endearingly.
What a line.

Right after that Jagr goal, morale was lower than Rosie O'Donnell's metabolism rate.
You could feel the Rangers being able to come back.

Crosby headed into the zone after that Jagr goal, and he was decked.
HE HAD THE PUCK. HE GOT HIT. That's what hockey is about. Good no-call.

Just as Crosby is ready to take the next faceoff, Therrien shuts everything down and sends Laraque onto the ice.

It is met with a raucous roar from the Mellon Arena faithful.
An unbelievable roar.

With that move alone, the Pens regained the momentum.
It was a subtle yet essentially game-clinching move by Therrien.

He knows it.

Laraque came on and hit some ass-clown in the Pens zone. Huge roar.

The Pens were helped with a ticky-tacky slashing call which sent them on the powerplay and sent Malkin back on the hunt. No dice there.

The puck wasn't gonna get past Conklin. It just wasn't gonna happen.

Malkin ended up delivering on the hat trick with a Gretzky empty-netter from center ice.


Picture: All Star Scott Gomez tries to stop Malkin from scoring



  • Malkin: 3G
  • Bing: 2A
  • Gonch: 1G
  • Conk: 43 saves --- sick

  • When you went to sleep last night, you thought to yourself, "Where would the Pens be without Ty Conklin?" That is just insane.
  • Tied for first place in Atlantic.
  • Malkin and Crosby were spectacular tonight. Just a pleasure to watch.
  • Solid defensive game.
  • Hall got into a fight with Staal's brother.
  • Pens 7-1 when BGL fights.
  • Straka looked like he has aged.
  • Nice to beat the Rangers.


canaanregulatesblog said...

What was with Doc Emrick's love-sick fascination with the "H-B-O" line?

...clearly Malkin is a "Showtime" fan.

stokes said...

Thank you, Geno. That's called "redemption." You played out of your mind last night.

Staff, another gut-busting post.

I wouldn't call the Hall-Staal hugfest a fight, but who cares.

gotta go-late for work.


J.S. said...

There must have been a problem with a few of those Mellon Arena camera, cause I could have sworn I saw Gomez going ba...

Oops, wrong player, that was Marc Staal that was in the d-zone all night. You're right, he was invisible all night.

Russell Lucas said...

Dying to see that Malkin check on Roszival show up on Youtube. Lange and Bourque just went crazy over it.

Kraftster said...

Sid and Geno are just magical on the ice right now. I haven't been that excited at a game this year. Every time those guys hit the ice, I expected to be awed.

Thank you guys for finally giving an accurate assessment of both interference calls in the third, and the non-call on Sid after those calls. Even Grover was erroneously harping on the refs for those calls after the game.

Tyler said...

Exactly... it was sweet redemption for Malkin to go out and show the hockey world what he can do after being snubbed for the All-Star game. It was even better that it was the only hockey game last night.

Fleury29 said...

What a game. What a post.

I realized while I was listening to the game last night that I'll be in Pittsburgh in less than a month.

I also realized that The Pensblog and Commentorblog really make being a Pens fan great. It's hard being a hockey fan, living in Kansas because:

A) There are so few hockey fans to begin with and,
B) Of those fans very few are Pens fans.

I don't really have anyone to talk to about hockey or the Pens so it's nice to have The Pensblog.


wilsmith said...

So who sent the Hippos text?

Mike said...

Under the MISC section, instead of "Tied for first place in Atlantic." It should say "Ty'd for first place in Atlantic."

Dwayne said...

My fucking TiVO thought it would be a good night to not record the game. I got home from my brother's game only to find out I was without any game at all.

What a bad fucking night.

Can anyone put up the Malkin hit on youtube? Roszival pisses me off beyond belief: I'd love to see him get fucking crushed.

Loser Chris said...

I second everything fleury29/barrasso35/conklin35 said (except for the being in Pittsburgh in a month part sadly). It's great to have some Pens fans to interact with. All I have to look forward to for the next 3 months sports coverage-wise here in Texas is bitching about Tony Romo going to Mexico before the Giants game.

King Gorilla said...

As much as I love bananas, I hate VS network. I paid 3 barrels of bananas, to get the Center Ice program and VS cock blocks me constantly!!

WufPirate said...

Had Malkin & Crosby scored on that sliding bullrush, we're easily talking a highlight you'd see the rest of your lives.

Koz said...

Sid was 16-21 on faceoffs in this game. That's 76% including a perfect 6-6 against ALL STAR Gomez.


Master of the Obvious said...

The last time these two teams played Crosby was on acid, but for whatever reason all his tearing through the neutral zone and into the Rangers end didn't mean a thing.

This time he still flew through Ranger backcheckers like pylons at the Quarterback Challenge, but the Rangers were hemmed in, penalties drawn and goals scored. Piss poor Rangers effort, otherworldly Cros and Geno effort and unreal Pensblog effort. Solid.

Hip said...

Yeah I totally want to know who sent the Hungry Hungry Hippos txt too - that is just awesome. I also want someone to let Bourque know his simple comment changed my life.

Huge win for the Pens. Malone, Army and (gasp) Hall all played solid under the radar games. Geno and Sid = speechless. Conklin = pinch yourself unreal.

There is no team that wants to be playing us right now.

pensgirl said...

Fantastic to see the boys pumped for a division game (finally), and Sid and Geno leading the charge. Far from a perfect one but a W is a W.

Excellent post, staff. Quality. Love the jabs at Gomez.

blades09 said...

Conk is just sick. What a performance.

One thing...someone needs to buy him a roll of white tape. When you're watching on TV, every time he gets some action on the near side and then jumps back into position, that black tape knob at the end of his stick is positioned perfectly so it looks like a puck rolling into the back of the net. Almost crapped my pants 20 times in the past few games. Whew...

biff said...

Therrien rocking the pinstripes. What a suit.

Jesse Marshall said...

"HE HAD THE PUCK. HE GOT HIT. That's what hockey is about. Good no-call."

Maybe the hit was clean, but laying on a person for 10 seconds after a hit and clearly impeding them from getting up and returning to the play is interference.

I don't think I was as mad about the hit as I was the defenseman laying on Crosby, holding him down with his stick.

Anonymous said...

About the no-call hit on Crosby:

The upsetting part was when whoever it was flopped down and pinned him to the ice.

Still not quite a penalty, but not something that the team or the fans should tolerate.

Matt said...

Savard replaces Heatley instead of Geno. Wow.

Lauren said...

I know it sounds strange, but thank God this game was on Versus...I don't have NHL Center Ice (yet), and Philadelphia is fucking intolerable without being able to watch the Pens kick ass.

My neighbors probably think I'm nuts, shouting "CONKBLOCKED!" at the top of my lungs every five seconds...

EmDubs said...

This recap hit the trifecta: an L&O reference, the Jobber of the Week trophy, and a Rosie O'Donnell joke. My favorite recap ever.

chris e said...

Anyone looking for the Geno shoulder on Rozsival should go to the pittsburghpenguins.com site and watch the post game Therrien interview, they show the hit.

slush said...

Wicked post. Well done.

Dr. Turkleton said...

FYI: Pens v. Rangers REPLAY on Vs. at 430p today for anyone who wants to relive the sweet W again OR if your TiVo was on the Rag (pun intended) & didn't record (dwayne)...waiting to see "Rock out with your Conk out" on the verizon jumbotron...would it make it thru the text-police????

Sean said...

Conkamania is running wild brother! Wooooo

The Pensbob said...


2 more games until Conklin qualifies for stats (I think).

Current GAA leader: 1.82
Conk: 1.72

Current SV% leader: .930
Conk: .949

Number of times Conklin's name has been said on ESPN, the sports network: 1
Jessica Simpson's: 5,981

David said...

Does anyone else know that all star Scott Gomez is from Alaska?

Thanks to Doc for reminding me every 5 minutes.

blades09 said...


I saw it a little differently. He couldn't get up and off of Sid because Sid was jobbing him back by holding onto his stick and tying him up. I'm sure some words were being exchanged too in the eternity that they were down. Probably something like..."apparently you didn't see me kick Ferrence's ass..."

Good work, Sid.

scottish assasin said...

the guy in front of me had a great call after malkin an crosby went crashing into the boards... "The entire arena just stood up like concerned parents"

Jesse Marshall said...

Blades, you might be right. I was sitting in D right behind that so I didn't have the best visual, that's just how it looked to me and the rest of the people in my section, hence Booblog.

Pensbob - Conklin needs 4 more starts by my calculations to get into the NHL stats dept, although not sure why so many people are concerned with that. It's 1/3 of all possible active games played rounded down.

Also, according to TSN both Letang and Kennedy have made the youngstars game: http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/news_story/?ID=227346&hubname=nhl

Anonymous said...

First game I've been to since Bing bobblehead night against the Devils in mid Nov. the difference in intensity from the players and the fans was awesome. Bing was beyond another planet last night. I don't know if anyone saw the guy propose to his girlfriend in B1 in the middle of the second, I was waiting for Conk to come over the glass and claim her for himself.

stupid Flanders said...

PENS R Rollin' !!!!

rangers put up 44 of the worst shots ever seen. but that's a lotta conkblocks.

heard a good alias for # 35 :
ty CRUNK-lin

Cragger said...

Oh yeah we forgot about those stanley cups because Jagr didn't win them for us! He was a very small part of the cups in my opinion compared to mario, murph, and the goal tending those years.

New York Pens Fan said...

The Bing and Malkin show last night was insane. Conkblock is the f-ing man....can anyone believe the way this guy is playing right now!!! Congrats to the Pens for tying it up for 1st place in the Atlantic and Congrats to Bing for tying it up with Vinny from Tampa in the points race. I'm sure we all heard the comment that Doc Emerick made last night about Jagr. But what about the comments Jags made about the city of Pittsburgh before leaving the Pens, "I feel like I'm dying alive in this city." Stanley Cup Championships aside, you don't say that about a city that has supported you throughout your career in a sport that you love. I'm not even from Pittsburgh, and it pisses me off that a jag off like that would say that about Pittsburgh.

Scriber said...

Talbot and Rosi-willneverbeabletospellhisname's faces in that picture are priceless.

Go Pens! 9-0-1 in the last 10.

Andrew said...

"The sigh of relief from the Pens faithful in Mellon Arena actually caused some 5-year-old kid in section C32 to die from carbon-monoxide poisoning."

What a line.

Ex-Pat Pittsburgh Girl said...

Great game. Couldn't watch it live because I had to go to a bourbon dinner (trying to convince myself if I am being educated while I'm drinking then it is not really adding to a problem, right?) and being on the West Coast, but I did DVR it to watch when I got home. I think the eight bourbons added to the enjoyment of the Geno hit because I kept rewinding to watch it over and over again. (I'll have to try it sober when I get home from work.)

Anyway, great re-cap (as always). One question about the top of the page photo -- is Conklin spelled differently at the top of the album cover than it is on the bottom. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't the bourbon. Great cover regardless. I echo the comments about out-of-state fans having a forum to interact with likeminded people. Keep up the good work.

meecrofilm said...

What a game. What a recap. Who woulda thought we were gonna go on a streak similar to the 'fluke' one of last year, and around the same time? And Conkblock... This is somethin else right now. I bow down to the Pens.

And Pensblog Charlie wrote on my facebook wall! I feel honored.. and slightly turned on. Pensblog Charlie is also a mere one letter away from being pretty homoerotic, and an even more fitting name. Good stuff.

Anonymous said...

... if only people breathed out carbon monoxide when they exhaled...

BlacknGold66 said...

Cheers to you Pensbob...

ESPN wouldn't know a good hockey story if it smacked them in the face. Yet, they can talk about Jessica Simpson and other garbage non-stop.

I hate ESPN.

Lady Jaye said...

Jesse > No worries, up in our seats in F4, we thought the same thing you did. It looked like to us that Bing was being pinned down which, of course, pissed off the whole section and yes: Booblog. Of course, what we see isn't always what happens... but hey, what can you do? It still brought the fans together in one loud boo fest.

I tried to get a Conk Block text of some sort by my fingers are too slow for damn texting. I want to spell everything out really nicely and not write like a moron...

The Pensbob said...

jesse- I'm usually not concerned with stats either, but to have our third goalie who no one expected good things from to be leading the league in several stats is pretty amazing to me. I just hope he can keep it up.

DiabeticsRcooler said...

someone needs to make a higlight real of Geno and Sid's plays last night that DIDNT result in goals

incredible game and the crowd was amazing

shout out to the manager from Buca di Bepo in station square for bringing pizzas to the student rush line

no star gomez said...

not sure if any one else saw this. on NHL.com, they have an article on all star scott gomez as alaska's player to watch.

no love for Ty.

ReaverOfSouls said...

Don't know if it's been said or not, but two more of the Pens players are heading to Atlanta. LeGame and Mr. Kennedy will be in the Young Stars game. Now if the jokers who picked the teams would put Malkin on the All-Star team, we'd be in business.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

I like Pensblog because all 14 of the Lightning fans in Tampa are douchebags.

stokes said...

i love Cblog. yinz guys rock.

Sweetcheesus! said...

"Right after that Jagr goal, morale was lower than Rosie O'Donnell's metabolism rate." favorite line from your recap. you guys crack me up. i am busy converting all pens fans to your site, so no obviousblog today. Ridonkulous, the way they are playing. . . Is that you Pensbob? "amber alert" darkstar.

Elly said...

When you went to sleep last night, you thought to yourself, "Where would the Pens be without Ty Conklin?" That is just insane.

I swear, that thought wakes me, screaming and in a cold sweat, every night.

Anonymous said...

When will Ty get his shot in the flashbar?

Chris said...

god i love this site. im here everyday. but most of all, i love the greastest sports team in the world. the pens. awesome game. quick question guys, why don't you like jagr?

blufftalk said...

  Yeah, Ty in the flashbar.

Staff said...


We have nothing against double J.
He just plays for the Rangers, thats all.

I base my life around his performance in Game 6 and 7 of the 1999 playoffs against the Devils.

And Ty into the flashbar will be addressed later

Go Pens


jim said...

check out this clip of an ultra-poised 14 year old Sid. he makes the understatement of the century: "I guess last season when I scored 150 goals, I realized I had something special."


PS-Lauren, and other Pens fans living in Philly, better be at the Jan 24th game!

kate said...

best recap of the year.

you guys have outdone yourselves. bravo.

go pens

Anonymous said...

I will be at the wachovia center January 24th.

I was at the last ass whipping we took in that building as well.

Anonymous said...

Conklin for flashbar 2008

canaanregulatesblog said...

anon, i as well was at the last ass whoopin' at the wach and i will be at the penguins redemption game on the 24th. woooo!

BrewB said...

Ty Conklin...

- 43 Saves against the Rangers
- .949 Save %
- 10-0-1


a spot on flashblog????

Bradley said...

Conk in the flashbar would be a jinx. no flashbar until the streak is over.

Ridonkulous? no, riCONKulous.

Whistler said...

1. Is it me or does the picture with the little penguin look like a shot from the IKEA catalog.

2. No Conk in the Flashblog.. No No No.

3. I live near Philly, but can't make the game on the 24th. I'm working the ECHL All-Star game in Stockton, CA and my flight lands at 8:30.. Curseblog!!

Anonymous said...

My problem with Jagr is the way he gave up one us (and Washington) when he didnt get what he wanted. What a crying pussy.


wilsmith said...

people, people, the conklin flashbar situation was already addressed!
They decided it's like saying the word sh-....

geezer said...

Some things don't need to said they can only be felt. A good buzz. A good lay. Being at the arena to witness the Chernobyl meltdown of thr Rangers. Wow. Rosi getting his world rocked by Lord Malkin. All hail Lord Malkin king of the puck luggers and torturer of the net twine.

You who wear and worship those with the flying P shall feel his wrath of the twine. Cower like the wimpering philth you are.

Malkin Wow. Bow before the Wow. Bow wow!

wilsmith said...

So what's the single-thread comment record?

Leaving out the midsummer internets terrorism, of course

Eric K said...

if anyone cares, which is kind of a stupid statement because i don't, but Forsberg is attempting a comeback


Staff said...

Although this comment will be buried forever, as a new post takes its place...

without peeking, this is one of the biggest threads ever.

The two biggest ones, as we recall it, were the day the slots license was awarded and then the Winter Classic recap.

Go Pens

We could say anything right here, knowing that only a handful of people will read it.


go pens

macedog said...

the curse has come full circle. just as predicted, the recchi trade will doom us for sure now... SID BREAM is back in Pittsburgh! the pirates will win the pennant this year and the pens will fall... noooooo

Bream joins Pirates' organization


stokes said...

Wilsmith: i remember the aftermath of the ass kicking at the hands of the Flyers being a very long thread.


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