Saturday, December 29, 2007

Conspiracy Theories

So many times, we forget why the Washington Capitals and their fans are jokes.
Thankfully they have a message board.

This whole mess started after the Caps head coach Bruce Whatever said this:

"It took the doctor so long to get down here (the bench), we couldn't get him back on the ice," coach Bruce Boudreau said. "He got a couple of stitches. It is something that you have to get done." [ Canadian Press ]

But today, poster "imau2fan" on [LGP] found a great thread started last night after the game.

Apparently there is growing concern that doctors didn't treat A.O. fast enough after he got hurt.
[Capitals Message Board]

From poster "Rincrt:"

"I was listening to Bruce Boudreau this morning on XM and he said Ovechkin would have been back on the ice if the doctor had got there a little quicker. So isn't that convenient, the Penguins are losing by a goal and the Caps best player gets injured and the Pittsburgh doctor takes his time getting to the dressing room and Ovechkin never gets back on the ice. Is this the ECHL or the NHL? I know at Verizon, the doctor sits directly behind the Caps bench and literally follows an injured player into the dressing room. Yet in Pittsburgh it takes him ten minutes. Now before all you Pittsburgh lovers start bashing me for whining, answer two questions? How long would the doctor have taken if it had been Crosby not Ovechkin with the cut and, secondly, what if that had been a Clint Malarchuk type of injury?"

It is a shame Al Gore didn't figure out a way to let you poop on someone over the internet.

It gets worse.

Poster "In Ahead Of The Play" your thoughts:

"I mentioned the same thing late last night on my website about the potential disaster had it been a Clint Malarchuk-like injury. But this morning, I began thinking that the cut on Ovie's leg could have been just as bad -- if not worse. There is a main artery running through the leg that could have resulted in significant blood loss. Think no further than the death of Redskin Sean Taylor. In a sport as physically grueling and violent as hockey, there should always be AT LEAST one doctor within a stone's throw of the dressing rooms. The league office needs to take a serious look into this and, depending on their findings, issue some sort of fine or commensurate punishment (giving a draft pick to the Caps would be nice!) to the Pittsburgh organization."

The internet shutdown for 45 seconds today after this was posted.
Referencing Sean Taylor?

And lastly

Poster "Absaraka Windholder" brings it all home.

"Oh, if that had been the femoral artery, that really WOULD have been a call to 911. There would have been blood all over the place--arteries sometimes spray when they bleed, and that's about as emergent as it gets." "And I'm not happy about what seems to have been a delay in treatment. As a physician, your first duty is to your patient, no matter who it is. As a sports team physician, your first duty is to medicine, NOT the sweater of your patient." "If they can prove that care was delayed or denied for hockey reasons, not medical ones, that might even be malpractice. If I were in the Caps' front office right now, I'd be on the phone to the AMA and whatever board regulates medicine in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Even the appearance of malpractice deserves a long, hard look in a case like this." "Just my Washington-based $0.02."

Dr. Gregory House, your thoughts?

"Ovechkin Blows"

We'd refute these accusations from Capland, but really does it even need to be done?
It is almost too much to take.

The obligatory "If that was Crosby..." blah blah stuff is all over that message board.

They have such an inferiority complex over there.
Every other thought they have pertains to hating Sidney Crosby.

So stupid.
We wouldn't had even known there was a conspiracy if we didn't find that message board,
which means that no one thought it was a big deal and no one cares.


Some mainstream journalist copied Mirtle. [Bfloblog] via [Deadspin]


Greg Wyshynski gives out some NHL awards. [Fourth Period ]

Top 10 NHL stories of the 2007. [ KK ]


Doesn't matter who you are, you pull for Joe Sakic.
So it sucks when you hear he's gonna be out till March 'cause he has to get hernia surgery. [ Yahoo ]

The Rangers have had some run-ins with Ice Girls.
They've settled a sexual-harassment suit out of court. [ Fanhouse ]

Go to Fanhouse for the whole rundown, but there was a threesome involved.
We thought threesomes only happened in the movies.

Speaking of the Rangers.
Colton Orr is a jerk.
Solid hit, though. No elbow, player had the puck.

Sabres merchandise sales are off the charts.
They are even outselling every NFL team, except for Pittsburgh and Indy. [ Fanhouse ]


[Picture+6.<span class=

[ Fanhouse ] breaks down the worst-case scenarios of the Classic.

Sidney Crosby did a conference call about the game.
They're the usual Crosby answers. [ KK ]

We can't keep up with all the Winter Classic stuff.
[ Winter Classic Page ]

A lot of talk going on about whether or not Pens fans should bring terrible towels to the game to show a Pittsburgh presence.

We personally won't do that, but hey whatev.
No use in fighting it.

There has been some back-channel internet rumblings of people buying baby blue towels to bring to the game.

We say do whatever you want.
Be smart and buy a huge box of them and sell them.


Go Pens


Jonny V said...

Wow. Just wow. Where do I start? To even think that there was enough force for a skate to cut deep enough in the his thigh to cut an artery is rediculous. Taylor's death was tragic, and probably a 1 in 100 (just throwing numbers out there) chance that one gunshot to the thigh would hit the artery at the precise point to make it burst. It was a lucky shot, and I bet the the kid that shot him wasn't aiming for the artery.

I know blades are razor sharp, but hockey pants are thick and padded, and the femoral artery lies deep in the tissue. Clint Malarchuk's injury was to his Jugular artery, which lies very close to the surface of the skin. And you can bet your bottom dollar that if Ovechkin started leaving blood on the ice, the doctor and trainers would have been out there pronto. To even suggest that a doctor would put his medical license in jeopardy just to give the home team some kind of advantage is ludicrous.

And about the towels, the baby blue towel would be huge, but i just don't think that enough people would buy them to show a presence. Our colors are black and gold. Take or buy what you want to wave. You spent the money, and it's a free country. And if something stupid like a gold towel offends you that much, u really need to examine your priorities in life. Or smoke a joint and fucking relax.

And like stoosh and a few of us said, everyone drive safe and have fun. I want to read an awesome game post, not something written in a somber tone.

jim said...

fyi, nhl network has a 2 hour show on mario's greatest goals this afternoon. after watching that, i will be out of mind pumped up for tuesday.

canaanregulatesblog said...


does your dad wear a short sleeve shirt/tie combo? if so, he is the ultimate sipowicz. =)

Sean said...

Ovechkin says here "" that he had to wait for the doctor to finish helping a Penguins player.

Waaaa you're a professional franchise. Bring your own doctor. Or, just don't get cut by a skate blade in the future.

Elly said...

I have to admit, that's a little surprising, although I have to also admit that I can see where they are coming from. I agree wholeheartedly that a doctor should be basically breathing down the necks of players during the game, and for some reason I was under the previous impression that both teams had a doctor or trainer with them at all times in the dressing room or the bench.

If that was indeed something classless and intentional done by the Pittsburgh doctor, then I have nothing to say in his defense...however, how do we know what happened? I highly doubt that if Ovechkin was bleeding all over the ice from a femoral stick that any doctor worth his salt, any human, would not go and assist as soon as possible. Does anyone know what the complement of physicians and health care professionals are to a pro hockey team?

firefox said...

Talk about conpiracies. Damn, som people jump off the deep end. It's pretty rediculous how people come up with the worst case scenario against the other team to justify their loss. Do they really thing the Pens executives (one of them a certain Hall of Famer that has proved his class over and over again) sat down and said...

"We need to get an advantage against the WORST team in the league. How about whenever they happen to get an injury that does not require on-ice attention, we delay the doctor from getting there so that way the player might not be back. Oh and if it happens to be a Calder trophy winner, that would be great!"

Caps fans, seriously? Do you guys really believe this crap that you are creating? Would this even be a topic of debate if it was one of your 4th liners that got the injury? Please stop because you are embarrasing yourselves even more than the Pens embarrass the Caps on the ice.

wilsmith said...

That's all ridiculous. Go Caps fans.

As for that Orr hit, definitely not interference, though I would have probably called something if I were the ref, it looked like he was leading with his fists. Ring 'em up for the rough, if you're going to call anything.

jeff H said...

What if it had been Sidney Crosby? Crosby didnt try and hit letang behind the play, ovechkin did. and don't Professional teams travel with their own doctor or at least a trainer with the ability to give stitches? one more reason why Washington is an NHL Hellhole.

stokes said...


i have to say, my favorite gems were from "In Ahead of the Play" (AKA OFFSIDES) and "Absaraka Windholder" (which sounds like a potpurri flavor)

"Clint Malarchuk-type injury" Do they not have paramedics at the arena? If so, then a major vein or artery would have been taken care of immediately and he would have been to Mercy hospital, a mere minute drive from the Igloo, before he knew it.

I'm no doctor but i'm pretty sure than when an artery gets cut, it doesn't "sometimes spray," that shit shoots across the freakin' room! Even with equipment on, i'd have to think that you would have noticed that AO got seriously cut. hell, the boy must not have been cut that bad, for he stayed on the rest of his shift when he easily could have gotten off right away.

Once again, Craps fans show they are a bunch of mindless idiots. but, it really not worth talking about here, becuase this isn't the Crapsblog and we have a little bit more going on that AO getting a little cut. We have that thing called the "Winter Classic." So i hope washington enjoys watching the Pens on national TV on tuesday. Suckas!

Anonymous said...

Whenever I see fans in an uproar like this, I try to think to myself "What would I be saying if Crosby/Malkin/Staal/any other Pens star were in this situation?"

And, yes, I would be upset about the situation. I wouldn't be blaming the other team, however. I'd be shouting "Why didn't the Pens bring some medical staff with them?"

sonia said...

it's interesting to see that some idiots on a message board have come to represent caps fans as a whole.

PittHockey said...

Adding to the winter classic, new hats showed up on nhl shop...

I never found the knit ones, but these are pretty nice.

Doc Nagel said...

My main problem with the Caps' fans' comments was that I could barely read the damn things with that dark blue font color. Stop that.

snickerdoodles said...

to doc.
about the dark blue font.
highlight it and the readin is easy!


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