Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Disciples of Gary Roberts = Owned.

Hammurabi said: A job for a job.

We must apologize that our jobbing ways have resulted in karma pile-driving us all.
We expected the wristbands in early this week, but no dice.

The company failed to inform us when we placed the order that the bands were going to be manufactured overseas in Japan or China or something.

The United States couldn't handle the production.

Picture: Zo Mang Cho makes the first WWGRD wristband.
His family was killed by a Gary Roberts slapshot in 2001.

It will be a couple more days.
We already have all the envelopes addressed and are ready to go as soon as we get them in.

with us.

The Magic cards we ordered did come in, however.



For the Flash Bar, we haven't added a preloader.
We just made the next game appear in frame 1 and told the movie to stop in frame 1.

And we will not be able to catch the entire game on Thursday against the Leafs.
It sickens us.

Snoop at the Sid Crosby Show should cure all ills with a recap.


Speaking of Sidney Crosby...
Here are some previews from the Sidney Crosby "Revealed" special on Versus tonight.
(Thanks to Dennis O, and Christine from Versus)

Sidney Crosby On The New NHL - video powered by Metacafe


After going three weeks between games early in the season,
it's good to see a Pens game around the corner when you wake up in the morning.

-- Momentum is building. [ PG ]

"Nobody was happy with the way we were playing, but it's not like a football team -- not like the Steelers where you lose one and it's [gloom and doom]," defenseman Brooks Orpik said yesterday. "We play 82 games."

-- We touch upon scheduling later in this post,
but the Pens play 13 games in the next 26 days.

In the comments, EmDubs said that the Pens pre-game player intros sound like the guy that narrates Scream trailers.

We meant to touch upon that after going to the Carolina game.
That intro video, coupled with fan reaction, seriously sounds like the guy is announcing the nominees at an awards show.

Says what you want. But EC is a solid team player. [ Trib ]

A few people sent this in.
The Pens volunteered for Project Bundle-up. [ Pittsburgh Penguins.com ]
No word on whether or not winter will actually come this year.

Mark Eaton looks like he isn't doing anything, but he has already blocked three shots.


Someone known only as the TheKoolKid e-mailed us the 1992 Cup ring.

Mission Accomplished.


And we thought 4-day layoffs were bad.
The Sens are starting a 7-day stretch of no games. [ Fanhouse ]

The Isles are also victims of a scheduling mishap.
They play 3 games in the next 16 days. [ Newsday ]

Rick Tocchet is in limbo. [ Arizona Republic ]
We are keeping a close eye on this so that we can get ahold of him regarding 1993 Game 7.

For new people to the site, we held an argument during the offseason as to who truly scored the tying goal in the 1993 Game 7 against the Islanders. [ Tocchet or Francis ]

The Devils are actually playing hockey. [ The Hockey News ]

The St. Pete Times goes to town about players wearing visors.
As solid an article that there is on the internet. [ St. Pete Times ]

The Boulerice guy from Philly won't be eligible to play in the AHL until mid-December. [ TSN ]

Staying on the topic of the flying penises,
Peter S. sent us the recent poll that says Philadelphia is the ugliest city in America. [ Yahoo ]

Even though Rod Brind'Amour hasn't been there since 2000.


--- We missed last week's TSN Power Rankings, and it's a good thing,
because we would have tried to DDT an entire website. The Pens were 22.

Now they're 15th. [ TSN ]

--- Some dude wrote a book about the 1987 Canada Cup.
Excerpt from the book. [ ESPN ]

Do it.


Dennis from [ PittBlather ] was one of the earliest commentors in commentorblog.
He sends along an e-mail.

At the North Allegheny-Shaler football game two Fridays ago, Fedko made an appearance. I was able to get a good number of kids in the student section to chant "Gary Roberts." He laughed and shrugged and I said, "Fedko you love Gary Roberts" and he said, "Yeah you know it." He can't escape it...I wish I would have had a WWGRD banner made to show him.

We are crafting a peace treaty to send Fedko.
If he wears a WWGRD on the air for one week straight, the jobbings will end.



Matthew K. sends a picture of the Verizon Center scoreboard and the three stars.


What our old friends are up to:

6 games
0G - 2A - 2P

1W - 0L - 0OT
3.70 GAA
.840 SV%

And besides that hole in your living-room wall,
there is no evidence anywhere that Joe Melichar ever played in the NHL.
No HockeyDB.com page.
No Wikipedia page.

No doubt the Haitian is involved.

COMMENTORBLOG UPDATE: He can be found under "Josef Melichar."

UPDATE: Haitian still involved somehow.


The Officeblog

Jannah Jabo ----------------- Karri A.

Photoshops like this are why we will never stop running this thing.

Bring on the Rangers and ol' Double J.

Go Pens


Andrew said...

its under Josef Melichar. Lets give the guy the very minuscule amount of respect he deserves. Maybe if he didnt separate his shoulder every other game he'd have had a little better career.
p.s. are the flyers legit? wtf is the deal. whyd it take us 6 years to rebuild and it took them 6 months

J.S. said...

it took them six months to rebuild only because they jobbed the Preds and Oilers out of a few of their top players.

Christina said...

jagr in a dress. never gets old.

MummRaTheEverLiving said...

This is something that has always bothered me.....

Shouldn't the plural be Flying Penii?

Loser Chris said...

When are you going to let it go and let Tocchet have his 30 seconds in the sun? You've seen the boxscore, what more could you need?

Why do I feel like this won't end until I end up on YouTube crying for you guys to "leave Rick Tocchet alone!"

He's a human being!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I now wear a cage when I play but I use to wear a visor. I really don't see what the players are talking about. Once you skate around for about 5 min the cage or the visor is completely invisible. Its like sitting behind the goals at mellon arena. At first you can see the protective net but eventually you can see right trough it. Thats because we have two eyes and our depth perception enables us to see through slight image distortions.

Anyway, the players say its a personal choice, but I disagree. The player is a product purchased by the team that employed them. I am so sick of players getting hurt on the most mundane high sticks and errant pucks. If Sergei Gonchar takes one to the eye and is out for the season I would be so pissed to be paying him 4 million this year for doing nothing because he was too stuborn to wear a visor.

Anyway, Crosby and Ovechkin wear one and they are the best players in the NHL. So I would have to say it isn't a hinderance to vision because Sid has the best on ice vision I have ever scene.

Ok, sorry, I'll shut up. I hate this topic and I hate meat heads, it just drives me crazy. Lets go Pens.

snoopyjode said...

okay, first i have to quote this from the other day: The Seeker said...

Errey must read the Pensblog because he's switched his ring to his other hand since the Carolina game.
10/21/2007 10:57 AM

now... who else thinks TheKoolKid = bob errey?

seriously, whoever you are, KollKid: thanks for the photo! :) although i must say, i much prefer the 91 ring to the 92 ring.

Stoosh said...


We started "rebuilding" through the trades Patrick made for guys like Jagr, Kovalev, Straka and Kasparaitis, as well as through the draft. The rebuilding through the draft started with an offensive defenseman (Whitney) and a goaltender (Fleury) - the two positions that take the longest to develop in the NHL. We didn't start getting our core up front (Malkin, Crosby, Staal) until the lockout was a reality, so we didn't see results until afterwards.

What killed our rebuilding effort was the fact that Patrick was handcuffed by the old economics of the game and was unable to get fair return for Jagr and Kovalev. The fact that almost all of the players involved in those deals are out of the NHL speaks volumes about how lopsided those deals were. Plus, the bad signings by Patrick coming out of the lockout set us back a year (although the poor start helped us land Staal).

The Flyers also didn't rebuild with free agency this around (like so many teams tried to do coming out of the lockout). They used free agency to supplement their roster and bring in Briere, who instantly became their franchise player.

But as J.S. said, to their credit, they managed to convince a bunch of idiot general managers to take all their crap (Edmonton and Nashville were both dumping salary, and Atlanta was desperate for a playoff run):

- Hartnell and Timmonen from Nashville for a first-round pick
- Braydon Coburn from Atlanta for Alexei F'ing Zhitnik (Waddell should've lost his job for making that deal)
- Lupul and Jason Smith from Edmonton for Geoff Sanderson and Joni Pitkanen
- Martin Biron from Buffalo for their second-round pick
- Upshall, Ryan Parent (stay-at-home defenseman you'll see in a couple of years) and two draft picks from Nashville for Forsberg

Those are five very good trades that fit well in the new NHL.

PensblogAdam said...

CHRIS, the Haitian must have taken your memory because when we did the frame-by-frame analysis, we became advocates of the Tocchet theory.
He scored the goal.


MummRaTheEverLiving said...

Minutes after that photo from the 87 Canada Cup was taken, Mario easily slipped Wayne into the sleeper hold. Seconds before Wayne tapped out however, Mark Messier came through the crowd and crushed Le Magnifique with a steel chair while his back was turned.

While The Great One and The Bald One played to the crowd's boos however, they failed to notice the surprise return of Downtown Robbie Brown and "ZZ Top" Zalapski!! Double Z laid Messier out with a textbook dropkick!

For his trouble, The Great Gretzky received the dreaded Doomsday Device.

You talk solid Doomsday Devices, you talk Robbie Brown from the top rope.

EmDubs said...

I can also totally see awards show in reference to the Pens' entrance announcement. I was saying the guy's voice just sounds exactly like the guy that would call Neve Campbell on the phone and threaten to kill her.....and would always start off by saying "Helloooooooooo, Sidney." I swear it has to be the same guy.

Kristen PB said...

It's good to see Jagr in his natural state.

MUMMRA: The grammatically correct plural would be "Flying Penes," which isn't really as funny. (Yes, I understand that revealing I know this has sealed my nerditude. But you have to admit, it's nice to use Latin for SOMETHING.)

Loser Chris said...


Then why the need to talk to ol' Spaghetti Rick about it? It's not like he'd deny scoring it. He'd probably just say, "I'll bet you $100 I deflected that puck!"

Hooks Orpik said...

I don't know how James Mirtle thinks of these stats, let alone compiles them for the whole league but....Bobby Scuds has been on the ice for 10 goals, good enough for 6th of all players in the entire league.

IF Scuderi were to play a full 60 minutes, the Penguins would project to score 7.1 goals a game, based on past results.

Interesting stuff.

This has inspired me to come up with a Sarge watch, detailing just how good Gonchar (and Eaton) have been at shutting down opponents top lines at 5-5...I'll do some analysis and let you know.

Adrienne said...

Fedko would never agree to the end of the Roberts jobbings, he gets far too many rating points from everyones shenanigans to let it go.

We should crush the Rangers tonight :D


J.S. said...

Muumra, that would explain Le Magnifique's back problems.

Jonny V said...

Even good ol' Jim Ross is marveling at the above commentary

Hooks Orpik said...

I dropped a line of acid, buried myself in the stat vault and this is the result....

Gonchar acquits himself well at 5 on 5 against the other team's top line

Number of times I blacked out while compiling this: 6.

Teej said...

Can't wait for the game tonight. Jagr is poop.

And yes, Tocchet scored the game tying goal. He did so with the brass of a riverboat gambler...HAHAHAHA.

Don't know how you jobbers feel, but is anyone as excited as I am that the Blackhawks are doing well so far? Toews and (Rock You Like A Hurri)Kane are lighting it up. Shame the Pens don't play them this year, and Versus only has two games penciled into their TV schedule (against Colorado and St. Louis in January and February).

Bringing back the old Bud Ice ads: "Beware the Penguins"... but those Hawks are looking good so far.

Loser Chris said...

Unconfirmed list of the games in the upcoming 10 greatest games DVD set coming out on the 6th, as voted on by us, the fans;

1. May 25, 1991: Penguins vs. North Stars: Penguins claim their first Stanley Cup.

2. June 1, 1992: Penguins vs. Blackhawks: Penguins clinch back-to-back Cups sweeping the series in four games.

3. April 25, 1989: Penguins vs. Flyers: Mario Lemieux explodes for five goals and eight points in an epic playoff battle - Pittsburgh's first playoff berth since Lemieux's arrival.

4. Dec. 27, 2000: Penguins vs. Maple Leafs: Mario Lemieux emerges from retirement in dramatic fashion with a goal and two assists.

5. April 24, 1996: Penguins vs. Capitals: The Penguins and Capitals take four overtimes to decide Game Four of the '96 Eastern Conference quarterfinals as the Pens come out on top, 3-2.

6. April 9, 1993: Penguins vs. Rangers: Penguins set NHL record with 16th consecutive win - Lemieux erupts for five goals.

7. Oct. 24, 2006: Penguins vs. Devils: The 18-, 19- and 20-year-old trio of Jordan Staal, Sidney Crosby, and Evgeni Malkin all score a goal; Malkin's being a highlight for the ages, in a 4-2 win over Martin Brodeur and the Devils.

8. May 10, 2001: Penguins vs. Sabres: Darius Kasparaitis joins the rush and scores the OT winner in Game Seven of the Eastern Conference semifinals.

9. Dec. 13, 2006: Penguins vs. Flyers: Sidney Crosby has a six-point night to take over the NHL scoring lead in only his sophomore season.

10. April 13, 1991: Penguins vs. Devils: Frank Pietrangelo makes what is simply known as `The Save' in a 4-3 win in Game Six of the Patrick Division semifinals.

I don't really know why #7 made it (one of the top 10 games in franchise history?), but it's hard to complain about the rest. I still wish Game 4 against the Rangers in '92 or Game 1 against the 'Hawks had been a choice. Both of those games were the definition of classic.

Staff said...

chris, we just want to email tocchet so he knows that hes still a beast.


MummRaTheEverLiving said...

Of those 10 games, 5 (1,2,3,4,6) were given as part of the Pens Classic DVD promotion a few years back.

J.S. said...

I'm not complaining, but I was hoping for some older games, even if it was early Lemieux. Maybe a rookie game where he scored his first goal, or maybe the Pens first win at Mellon.

As others have mentioned, half of these games were already given out as a promo. But being that I'm a sucker for anything involving the Penguins, I'll probably still buy it.

Loser Chris said...

Some of us aren't lucky enough to live in Pittsburgh and weren't able to get the promo DVDs.

Stoosh said...

Kind of playing a bit off of Hooks's Sarge Watch, I think we need to consider the suggestion on commentorblog from a few nights ago and institute the "Unofficial Gary Roberts Truck Count". This will track the number of times during a game that the television broadcast catches Roberts leaving the ice from yet another shift of mass destruction and as he's leaving the ice, he skates by the opposing team's bench and just obliterates any hapless opponent standing in his way. It happens at least once a game, and it seldom ever results in a scrum because pretty much no one has the balls to confront Roberts when he does it. They seldom even look at him after it happens, probably out of fear that Roberts will glare at them and melt their faces off. Think of what happened to the Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark when they opened the Ark.

Yes, the ice is Gary's playground; he is the 8th grade bully and opponents are merely the 4th graders over whom Roberts exerts his will.

In fact, I think we need to take this a step further. The Pens need to start making Gary Roberts available in real-world settings to come in and straighten sh*t out. Remember "Terry Tate: Office Linebacker"? When do we get "Gary Roberts: Office Third-Line Winger"?

J.S. said...

I don't live in Pittsburgh. I'm about 70-75 miles away (don't ask how I got 2 different readings driving on the same roads back to Johnstown).

Still, I intended on going the eBay route for those DVDs, which was why I was hoping for different games.

Stoosh said...


I agree...I love the Blackhawks resurgence. I used to absolutely hate the Blackhawks for three reasons:

1. I grew up a Canucks fan and they knocked the Canucks out of the playoffs in 1994-95,

2. Bure blew out his knee against the Blackhawks the following year, destroying his career (although his transformation from league-wide badass to a whiny primadonna pansy did just as much damage to his career as his knee did)

3. I had the friend in high school who used to use the Blackhawks every time we played NHL '94. EVERY TIME. For those who don't remember, the Blackhawks were damn near unbeatable in that game. Roenick, Larmer and Chelios were insane. Joe Murphy scored on practically every one-timer he shot. And Belfour was just sick. He was so tough to beat it was considered a great game if you got three or four goals past him. And of course, my friend who used the Blackhawks all the time was the kind of dorky friend we all picked on a little bit, so this was his revenge.

I never thought I'd root for the Blackhawks, but they are becoming the Western Conference team I find myself following more and more. And I agree with the sentiment expressed by a lot of people around the league...the league is better when teams like the Blackhawks are good (hopefully, Boston ownership is paying attention as well).

wilsmith said...

Can people in Chicago even watch the Blackhawks yet?

Adrienne said...

Some of us aren't lucky enough to live in Pittsburgh and weren't able to get the promo DVDs.

Loser chris, I think I have an extra set of 4 of them at home. If I do, you want them?


We are in no way affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Pensblog uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey our criticism and inform the public.

Photos on The Pensblog are used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us (thepensblog@gmail.com) and we will be happy to oblige.