Thursday, September 20, 2007

Abel To Joke

The NHL season is raring to go.
How do you know?

Because the Jobber Tour Bus is pulling out of the garage.

Our stop tonight will be taking us to the Red Wings blog [Abel to Yzerman.]

If you can claw your way through the Verizon and Big Ten COLLEGE FOOTBALL ads, you'll find a post that is their response to the Detroit Red Wing preview we did like 2 months ago.

Now before we get to anything, the dude claims to have been blogging the NHL since 1977.

Is that even possible?

Al Gore just threw up:

The author took extreme offense to us calling the Red Wings the Yankees of the NHL.
He mentions that he hears it all the time, which means we aren't the first to make the comparison.

He took it as us saying the Red Wings spend money left and right to attract free agents.
Hey, it's not that. They had the highest payroll in the league when there wasn't a cap, and everyone outside of the Detroit fanbase hated(s) them (yes, that sounds like the Yankees.)
** On a side note, the Pens had the league's highest payroll during the mid-90s. **

So, he decides to get as personal as you can get with someone you don't know personally.

The author didn't like us calling Detroit HomoTown, saying we shouldn't make fun of homosexuals.

Too bad we weren't making fun of homosexuals; we were making fun of Detroit.

Maybe if the Red Wings played in a better division, they would be better prepared in the playoffs, as they have gone in with high hopes the past 4 years only to get owned.

The Wings fans jumped into the site's comments, and you can't blame them.
Solid jobbing going on over in that post.

And hope you're sitting down for this one...

...Some guy in the comments said that people who go to Whole Foods are the same people who think that the U.S. government was behind 9/11.

Not to mention this gem:

Got to love the entitlement some Wings fans have.

Moving forward, if forty is the new twenty,
Detroit is the new Ottawa to us.


What we really enjoyed the most were the statements saying that The Pensblog lost all credibility we had when we gave the Red Wing preview.

If you come here seeking credibility, you drop acid.
End of story.

We were really offended when we were labeled as immature.
Because that makes no sense.

If this doesn't set up greatness for the Pens/Wings home-and-home series this upcoming weekend, nothing will.

Bring the noise.


Training Camp

Petr Sykora is out for 2 preseason games. [ TSN ]
He broke his nose after colliding with Brooks Orpik.

Crosby: on the PK? [ PG ]

"I want to make sure I can do a good job and I'm responsible out there, but, yeah, I'm interested," Crosby said.


The Ice Bowl ticket frenzy has left Penguins officials and season-ticket holders stunned. [ PG ]
NHL Fanhouse reacts as well. [ Fanhouse ]

The tie matching the backdrop is why Bettman is a big deal.



Hines Ward is in some legal trouble over his bar in the Southside. [ KDKA ]

But believe it or not,
he is not the only member of the Steeler organization battling the justice system.
One member turned up on the sex registry list.

(By TPB Photoshop Guru Jeff ]


If you do anything today,
read this story. [ PSAMP ]

It was written for PSAMP six-month extravaganza by the author of [Awful Announcing.]

Be warned. The story could change your life.
It could be why the Pens lost to the Caps in the 94 playoffs.

A little teaser:
"I had never seen my two Managers act like this and at about 10pm I left to one of them sitting on Kevin Stevens' lap."



If you do anything today....part two.

Someone put the entire Game 4 of the 1992 Stanley Cup Finals on You Tube [ Empty Netters ]

Patti Burns owns.



Couldn't choose just one.
Take your pick.


Jeff said...

The WV Daily Three was 3-6-6.


Bradley said...

y'know, i started paying attention to the Wings in the late-80s because my school's uni was modeled after theirs (Westmont Hilltop in Johnstown). They sucked, but StevieY was rad, so i still have a soft spot for them.

oh yeah, and something about # 77....

anyway, in about '91 we changed our unis to something based on the Devils, but with Red/Gray/White instead of the ugly-ass red/green/white.

yeah, that one never stuck.

i'm drunk. there was no point to this post.

Matt said...

I'm going to the game in Detroit, as it is a mere 5 hour drive from my location in Indiana.

Needless to say, I am going to job like a mother fucker. Not even Eminem will be able to stop me from shitting all over that town.

Lets go pens.

Jeffry said...

1977 was a good year for blogging.

why is it okay to make several jokes about how fat the people are in line wherever the guy was but making fun of homos is cool?

oh, well. i guess hes probably a slender detrioter? detriotian? oh wait i know what theyre called, homosexuals.

Ashley said...

haha gotta LOVE the pic of the penguin crapping all over the red wings...i laughed so hard i cried :)

Dwayne said...

About tyler kennedy

"He comes to the defense of his teammate -- and he was a much bigger guy than Tyler was -- and he just started whaling away," Penguins general manager Ray Shero said. "It was great."

Elly said...

I think I'm scarred forever by that recounting of the '94 playoffs. I've heard that some far Eastern tribes wouldn't sleep with a woman before battle because it would drain their fighting spirit(or energy is probably what they meant). Guess they weren't kidding.

Loser Chris said...

Game 4 against the Hawks was an instant classic. Just an all-around great game. I may still have the tape of it somewhere.

As far as Detroit goes (I've always hated them with a passion)... any team that can't sell out home playoff games should not be talking smack to anyone. "Hockeytown" my ass.

Andrew said...

Sounds like Douchey McDouchestein from Detriot should get over himself, and yes, try to sell out a few playoff games.

Loser Chris said...

Get out your credit cards!!!!

Anonymous said...

I shop at Whole Foods and I think the govt knew more about 9-11 than is public knowledge.

Stoosh said...

I've always liked the Wings going back to my fledgling days as a hockey fan (late 1980s). I've seen the Wings twice at Mellon Arena and each time, I've been sitting amongst a group of Wings fans and they've always been just as classy as Yzerman. It's like going to a Green Bay Packers game...the fans there want to BS with you about your team, not just gloat about theirs.

That said, if this clown doesn't understand why some Pens fans - a prelockout "have-not" - would look at the team like the Wings - one of the higher-spending pre-lockout teams - and get the "Yankees of the NHL" reference, dude needs an NHL history lesson. Or at the very least, he needs to take off the red-and-white colored glasses and see how things were for some of the teams in the NHL prior to the lockout.

Maybe the "Yankees" comparison doesn't fit to certain elements; the Wings Wings developed a significant portion of the core that made them successful, but it also took a lot of money to keep them there. Detroit got significant contributions from players that some teams in the NHL couldn't afford to sign prior to the lockout. And towards the end of their run with that group, they were an team built around a lot of higher-priced, older veterans - another way the Yankees analogy may fit.

Barrasso35 said...

PSAMP just blew my mind.

How fucking stupid is that, you can get chicks at any point, why do it during the playoffs? Against the Capitals?


snoopyjode said...

it's official. pens stay in pittsburgh until 2040!

jeffry, i noticed the same thing. this guy's sense of moral outrage that the pensblog would mock a group of people with different lifestyles is canceled out by his obnoxious fat jokes. that kind of double-standard douchebaggery SERIOUSLY damages any credibility he may have ever possessed, although i highly doubt there was ever much there to begin with.

i will be handling detroit fans the same way i handled kenny melvin at the end. their existence will not even be acknowledged if they don't know how to present intelligent arguments.

it's quite obvious to anyone who is at least as smart as a 10 year old that this site is satirical. get over yourselves, homotownians.

GO PENS, indeed.

karri said... ThePensblog Dumping On Red Wings pic - ahahaha are the guru

Dwayne...thanks for the Tyler Kennedy link

Loser Chris...awesome amazon find

Snoopyjode...thanks, finally able to close on the bond issue to finance construction

Go Pens!

Hooks Orpik said...

stoosh- i do think the comparison is pretty accurate and i really don't see how it's that much of an insult:

``Both have great historical lore, went through a period of being in the gutter than redemption in the 90s

``Sure, the Red Wings grow a lot of their own talent, but so do the Yankees (Jeter, Posada, Cano, Wang, etc).

``Both make the playoffs every year but seemingly to bow out before the championship

``Both had superstars (A-Rod and Datsyuk) that put up great stats during the regular season, then choke on dicks in the playoffs. Though admittedly Datsyuk came off the milkcarton this past year.

There are differences, of course, but I don't think the mere mentioning of it should be enough for a blog to make such a big deal about it. I guess I don't see why it should bother them so much.

Jason said...

kevin stevens being involved in something like that doesnt surprise me at all. I can picture him out all night partying with strippers, driving to a game with a beer in his hand and then snorting a couple lines off the dashboard right before he enters the arena. But barrasso and jagr, wow. especially barrasso.

Jeffry said...

first chance to see how penguins tv works.

Pens To Offer Live Video Of Saturday's Game

Stoosh said...


Good analysis on that. When people compare some team to the Yankees, the inference is usually something along the lines of "team that spends loads of money on high-priced, big-name players, several of whom are no longer peaking and are on the downside of their careers." Since that seems to be the more common perception when anyone makes that "Yankees" comparison, that's as far as I went with it.

Either way, like you said, it wasn't worth them getting all peeved over it.

chris said...

the commercials in that video were better than anything else

go pens

Chase said...

Just so you guys know, I was banned from posting comments on that wings blog after making a comment about double teaming datsyuk's mom with laraque. figures.

Chase said...

oh, as gary roberts. forgot that part.

Lloyd said...


i watched every part of the game... and also enjoyed the commercials...

Fruit loops for a 1.49
James Earl Jones in the PA Bell phone book commercials...
Rafael Palmero (prolly roided up) in the coke commercial...

The Hebrew Hammer said...

Pens formally sign lease agreement

Anonymous said...

Wings are mud

Hooks Orpik said...

You know suppose you own a NHL team and things aren't going good:you're struggling to fill up the building (with your fans atleast), you're hemorrhaging money, you've been in the basement for a while, what do you do to get those season ticket holders to re-up?

I know, turn the players into telemarketers!

(If this html doesn't work I'm going to sit in the corner and cry)

Christina said...

for everyone else who has nothing to do tonight....

Pens TV is live streaming the Town Hall Meeting that's happening for season ticket holders at the Mellon tonight....8pm!

bunch of the players will be there, updates on the new arena...etc.

The Hebrew Hammer said...

Thanks Christina, I'm listening to it right now. Ken Sawyer is still as boring as ever.

canaanregulatesblog said...

that detroit-getting-shat-on photoshop must've taken hours to do.

Anonymous said...

Gotta say that comment about whole foods is just wrong. It implied that 100% of the people that shop there probably think the US is behind 9/11. In reality, its probably around 90%. He was way off base.

Anonymous said...

The government didn't know anything about 9/11. And if they did, I assure you info about it was known well into the 90s. (umm.. Clinton, Albright) GW was only president for about 8 months, but its all his fault. Ok, whatever. I hate people that both shop at whole foods and people who live in their own dream world.

Besides the Devils the thing I hate most about New Jersey is the Jersey girls!


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