Monday, August 20, 2007

Boring Monday

August 19, 2007.
A landmark day in the internet realm.
Against The Odds is posted on YouTube.

Al Gore approves.

The posting of ATO allowed us to see this:

After the Pens win, someone driving in the South Side, with a portrait of Ron Francis.
It cannot be said enough how awesome against the odds is.

......................................... puts the ridiculous Ed Belfour to Pittsburgh rumors to rest.
He is gonna go play in Sweden.

James Mirtle list other players going overseas

Rick Tocchet is not going to jail.

The countdown begins for when we can ask him about Game 7.

Credit goes to Fanhouse /Empty Netters for this find:
Great t-shirt

If this was mid-november we would have a segue into this next thing.
Maybe show a picture or something about the Senators.
And then say.
Wow this is more homo erotic than the Brawny man.
But its not, so oh well.

Picture: The Brawny man is all smiles after making out with another man

When we have sought the opinion of notable scholars in the past, we've chosen the likes of Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, John Madden, and Beaker from the Muppet Babies.

From now on, we turn to one man for advice.
Diogenes of Sinope.

" Diogenes, a beggar who made his home in the streets of Athens, made a virtue of extreme poverty. He taught contempt for human achievements and a return to animalism. His was a relentless campaign to debunk social values and institutions.

The most shocking feature of his philosophy is his rejection of normal ideas about human decency. Performance artist, exhibitionist and philosopher, Diogenes is said to have eaten (and masturbated) in the marketplace, urinated on the man who insulted him, defecated in the amphitheatre, and pointed at people with his middle finger. Sympathizers considered him a devotee of reason and an exemplar of honesty. Detractors have said he was an obnoxious ragpicker and an offensive churl.

The stories told of Diogenes illustrate the logical consistency of his character. He inured himself to the vicissitudes of weather by living in a tub belonging to the temple of Cybele. He destroyed the single wooden bowl he possessed on seeing a peasant boy drink from the hollow of his hands. When asked how to avoid lust of the flesh, Diogenes began to masturbate in answer. When rebuked for doing so, he replied, "If only I could soothe my hunger by rubbing my belly."

And he jobbed Alexander The Great at least twice:

The story goes that while Diogenes was relaxing in the sunlight one morning, Alexander, thrilled to meet the famous philosopher, asked if there was any favour he might do for him. Diogenes replied, "Stand out of my sunlight." Alexander still declared, "If I were not Alexander, then I should wish to be Diogenes."

In another account, Alexander found the philosopher rummaging through a pile of human bones. Diogenes explained, "I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave."


In addition, a depiction of Diogenes "Seeking an honest man" is prominent on the Led Zeppelin album "Four Signs" also known as Led Zeppelin IV. "


Winter in the Sun
Game #78
March 29, 2007

4 - 2

It is so overstated these days, but -- back in October, if you told people that that Pittsburgh Penguins would have 100 points on March 29th -- Someone would've beat you within an inch of your life and crapped in your pet's mouth.
Good times.

But 45 seconds in, it looked like bad news. Andy Ference shoots one from the point, and Brandon Bochenski gets the rebound into an wide-open net.
1-0 Boston.
After a delay while jobbers fixed the ice, Lance Armstrong knocks a shot out of mid-air past MAF.

Before you knew what was going on, the Pens come flying back into the Bruins' zone.
Christensen fires another wrister past Tim Thomas.
The best part was the awkwardness felt in the arena when the Boston P.A. announcer did his post-goal "wooo!" right after Christensen scored.
Boston is a mess.

Later, Zdeno Chara, the 8th wonder of the world, trips over himself while Laraque was just chilling there.

You're black, so that's a penalty pal.
Heil, Dave Lewis.

While the Bruins are on the power play, some monkeylicker hits Colby with a high stick.

That's legal.

The rest of the first was mud other than Zdeno Chara breaking out into the parking lot and flipping over cars onto 50 Causeway St. in downtown Boston.


Before we get to the second period, we wanted to wish the Bruins and their fans good luck on the golf course this off-season.

April 8th.

As back and forth as the first period was, the second was much more controlled.
Both teams playing good defense.
Midway through the second, the Pens get called for yet another too many men on the ice penalty.

do it.

MAF is focused and doesn't let the Bruins get anything going.
Malkin comes storming out of the penalty...drops a pass to Army.
Big Ben strikes one.

Towards the end of the period, the Bruins start coming in waves.
They hit the post on consecutive shots, and almost score even after those two.
Dave Lewis no question has rallied the troops.

This was only a matter of time.
Don't be offended.
We think every ethnicity and religion sucks.

The Pens fought back though.
Malone made a nice move on a breakaway, but Thomas said no.
Just before the period ended, the Pens drew a penalty.
Nothing doing though, as Boston ace Dice-K struck out Malkin with the bases loaded to end the threat.

Dice-K strained his scrotum and didn't make it out for the third.

The third period opened with the Pens on the powerplay.
But they couldn't get anything going.
Tim Thomas woke up and actually started play halfway decent.
After killing the PP, the Bruins gained the inevitable momentum.

Michel Ouellet helped out even more, as he mistakingly shot the puck into the stands from his own zone.
But the penalty killers stood tall yet again.
Ryan Malone fielded a puck with his glove and got it out of the zone.

Gotta make that play.

The teams continued to trade scoring chances, but the goalies were up to the task.
Midway through, Joe Melichar got faceplanted into the boards, hitting his forehead on the crease of the boards on his way down.
But he got up and laughed it off.

Joe Melichar might not be that great of a defenseman.
But he is tougher than you are.

The Ruutu-Malkin-Laraque line generated some chances tonight.
Laraque led Malkin on a sweet pass, but Andy Moog says no dice whitey.

Terrible goalie.

The hard work does pay off, though, as Aaron Ward takes his 400th penalty of the game.
You could almost picture Gary Roberts drinking an I.C. Light and nodding his head in the press box.

The Pens PP looked even worse this time.
But they keep jobbin around.

Right as the penalty ends, 87 finds 71.
That was more insurance than State Farm.




Loser Chris said...


Diogenes - 1
Alexander - 0

Jeff said...

Canaan: Email me already or catch me on AIM.


You're about as reliable as a Mexican Space Shuttle.

wilsmith said...

They have those?

Jason said...

of course they do, dont you watch south park?

Spencemo said...

All I can say for today's post is...

WOW. Diogenes was the man.

Joe D. said...

I can't tell if you were being serious or not, but that's a portrait of Elvis not Ron Francis.

thepensblogderek said...

Joe D.

I think its francis..haha

Joe D. said...

I don't know. I always thought it was Elvis.

Vern said...

i don't remember if you've used "gotta make that play" before, but it's gold

snoopyjode said...

good eye, joe d - i'm with you. besides, it makes sense because "ladies and gentlemen, elvis has left the building" per mike lange.

Loser Chris said...

I always thought it was Elvis too. But I really like the idea of it being Ronnie.

thepensblogderek said...

Well played Joe D..

Everytime I think someone is Ronnie Francis, its blows up in my face.


hooks orpik said...

Pensblog should commision an artist to make a Francis portrait.

Dave Lewis jokes > Ted Nolan jokes.

I will miss that guy. Well, seeing him get joked for the Hitler mustache.

canaanregulatesblog said...

jeff...will email you when i get home from work...sorry i haven't done so earlier.



Jason said...

i just realized that the gay guys in this post really remind me of the old wwf tag team 'the bushwhackers'. those guys did have some homo tendencies, what with licking each others face and all.

J Schiff said...

Diogenes is a bad ass motherfucker. I first read about him about ten years ago when I was a teenager - he's mentioned in a Bad Religion song called "Get Off," as singer Greg Graffin states "lascivious, it's all that i can think of as i drag my feet, searching like Diogenes."

I had no idea who Diogenes was so I looked him up. Bad Motherfucker.

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

Really? The cover of LedZep IV with the old dude carrying a faggot (bundle of sticks, you degenerates) on his back was Diogenes?


I thought it was what Ivan Hlnika ended up doing after he left the Pens.

What, too soon?

Anonymous said...

that how to prepare spaghetti just made tears run down my face! hahahaha.

Watching yesterdays video's make me wish mario would play one more season.

Could you even imagine just having him for the offensive power plays and to watch a few more magnificent passes glide down the ice past three zamboni's, a dolphin catching tuna net, the entire male dancing team (a.k.a. the Sens) and watching malky or sid power drive them home.

Gretzky's face would fall off.

Barrasso35 said...

I know Gary Roberts is in here somewhere.


Doug said...

Who here was not thinking how much better it would be if Dan Potash was around then hosting the making of the spaghetti?

By the way, the t-shirt I can one up that twice. I got for $1.50 a piece at goodwill a few years back the 91 AND 92 Prince of Wales Conference Championship shirts. Classic.

Spencemo said...

Gary Roberts is a direct descendant on Diogenes. Has to be.

Anonymous said...

Fucking losers don't even make daily posts anymore

thepensblogderek said...

hahaha yea nothing to talk about, no need to force stuff..

snoopyjode said...

those are pretty big words from someone who won't even give an internet identity.

Anonymous said...

leave the anonymous posting to me ass bag!



(opps said my name again)

Anonymous said...

I agree with the above post.

Lets rally to get Mario to play one more season.

You know he is in pretty decent shape and his skills are still better than 80% of the league.

Anonymous said...

The maturity of Melvin in the post above.

Spencemo said...

Well, Anon, if that's the case, then they are probably having more fun that most right now.

Anonymous said...

This blog has turned into an immaculate joke.

wilsmith said...

I know that's the same person posting twice anonymously to comment on how they are no daily posts, but seriously, whatever.

Be thankful they make time to make any posts at all.

They probably have work/school/baby's mamas to deal with too

thepensblogderek said...

Melvin we know thats you.

Stoosh said...

I hate to say it, but I'd only want Mario back if we knew we'd be getting at least the 2000-01 comeback version of Mario. When Mario came back that year, he was at least the second-most talented scorer in the league to Jagr and you could make the argument that he was the best (Mario averaged 1.77 ppg that year; Jagr averaged 1.49, but had a half-season of wear and tear on him when Lemieux came back).

Age really caught up to Mario during that 2005-06 season, and he looked dreadfully slow out there. I would never go as far as to suggest he was a liability out there, but his decreased speed caused his skills to seem less effective.

I love the Big Guy as much as any Pens fan, but it's time to give the keys to Sid and let him define his own era of Penguins history.

Stoosh said...

Some people REALLY need to find themselves a hobby...or a girl.

Jason said...

if they're not funny then why do you steal them?

Stoosh said...


That's very funny.

canaanregulatesblog said...

if commentorblog seems disjointed, thats my fault. cheers.

a moment of giddyness

Jeff said...


Do you bring Corona and Pinatas into space on your missions?

Kenny Melvin said...

OK, WTF??? Why the hell are my comments being deleted?

canaanregulatesblog said...

Kenny, you honestly need to step back and really think about your actions on this site. im not going to put up with juvenile behavior. if you want to straighten up, then, perhaps, after a day or two, i wont nerf your comments.

but honestly, your behavior is bad.

jeff, we prefer burritos and dos equis

canaanregulatesblog said...

oh jeff, you didnt leave your aim name in the email you sent me... =(

Kenny Melvin said...

Canaan what "behavior" are you talking about? This is my first post in this edition of commentorblog.

Steve In Denver said...

I think Diogenes should be the Pirates GM. Pensblog = sweetresearchblog

DB of the year was a four way tie:
Adam Graves
Claude Lemieux
Sean Avery
Brett Hull

DB Honorable mention: Anonymous blog bashers.

Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

[raising a glass to Steve]
Thanks for tallying up the votes.


[raising a glass to Canaan]
Thanks for getting rid of the nonsense.

Now I'm full...

Chocolate Rain said...

Chocolate Rain <3s Canaan.

canaanregulatesblog said...

^Kicksave, i <3 you too.

kip miller said...

you guys hear the new dve skit with mario yet? its on the dve website.

Tiffany said...

Haha is this what you're talking about, Kip?

canaanregulatesblog said...

in the most important news of the day: My future wife turned 18 today (LEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

wilsmith said...

Because of all the Heroes talk that goes on here, I had considered posting This gif a while ago, but I always felt creepy since she was underage. But now, since you say she's 18, I feel perfectly fine!

canaanregulatesblog said...


i mean, thanks for the link wilsmith!

Kicksave said...

Hey Canaan...that wasn't me.

CDUBBS said...

Just found out that pens camp starts on the 13th. Its on and also is carefully hidden in a article about Esposito pulling his groin...ouch

canaanregulatesblog said...

Canaan's 8/22 Moment of Zen: Top Gun Motors


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