Saturday, July 7, 2007

Lowe Ball

As if this NHL off season hasn't been crazy enough, things got wild on Friday.
Kevin Lowe shook things up when he signed restricted free agent Thomas Vanek of Buffalo to a huge deal.
The deal, reportedly worth 50 million over seven years, was an offer sheet.
Meaning that Buffalo had seven days to match the deal.
If they did not, they would have received four first round draft picks from Edmonton.

That's the brass of a riverboat gambler.

Buffalo took about 30 minutes and called a press conference to say they will match the deal.
They also announced their first bobblehead promotion of the season:

The bottom line with this deal, is that either Edmonton did Buffalo a favor by forcing their hand so they will have Vanek for years to come or they basically ended the sabres.
It is not the classiest of moves, but guess what the NHL isn't frienshipblog.

Kevin Lowe, clearly unstable after this whole Nylander thing, might have broken that unwritten rule, but you have to love the move.
Buffalo is reeling. Lowe knew that.
If Buffalo lets Vanek walk, people in Buffalo would have flipped out.
In the end it is all really Buffalo's fault.
Instead of being proactive and locking Vanek up for something they let it slide.
But hey not everyone can be run by Ray Shero.

Buffalo is a joke.


....The Islanders actually show up in the free agent party.

They sign Bill Guerin and future penguin killer Mike Comrie to deals.
As Empty Netters points out.
The Atlantic division has been probably the busiest division in the NHL in free agency.
It is going to be hard to find a harder division to play in next year.

.....We are more late then your girlfriend's period on this:
So long T-Bo.

...The Pens did sign Max Talbot and Crusher.

Two solid photoshop players returning

.....Here is an update on Max at the World Series of Poker:
He has been eliminated.
"After seeing his stack dwindle during the day Maxime Talbot moved all-in with A-10 and was called by a player with A-Q. The percentages held and that brought an end to the Pittsburgh Penguin center's Main Event."
"When asked how he played today Talbot had an unusually frank (and almost certainly erroneous) assessment of his game--"I suck at poker". But disappointed Penguin fans can at least breathe easy that Max won't be abandoning the ice to play poker full-time."

Solid performance as always.

More on the World Series of poker.
Max wasn't the only NHL related thing there:

Yes that is Janet Gretzky

We thought that someone was joking when they said she was there.
We have to move on.
This is just too easy.

......IGN has a solid review of NHL 08

You can find some more screenshots here.
They had a picture of Gary Roberts, but it crashed 11.5 million computers to crash in the UK.
This game is going to be unreal.

...Update on the World series of poker.
Janet Gretzky asked to be traded to another table.
It must run in the family, eh?

Get your wife some gambling help, fag.

Speaking of homos:


Look we all know ESPN is a joke.
It is a waste of bandwidth to even talk about it.

We happened to accidentally stumble across "The Pulse" on ESPN radio.
Just as we were about to change the channel, some asshole was talking about Hockey being meaningless, and going on the typical anti-NHL tangent.
First off this guy was filling in for Doug Gottlieb, which should tell you a little bit about his career.
Second, who finds these jokes funny?
The NHL gets bashed all the time by these people that claim to be "sports reporters."
OK everyone has their opinions, fine.
But really can we end the whole Hockey is dumb jokes?
It is not working.
Just because ESPN doesn't have people smart enough to work for them, there is no reason to bash Hockey.
Stick with covering Nascar, that's easier for you. Seriously great job.

Where is this going?
Well, ESPN is apparently running this thing called "Who's Now."
They match up certain athletes against each other to see who is more popular.
It is all stupid, but the main thing is this.
Sidney Crosby is matched up against Derek Jeter.
We got a few emails , and noticed commentorblog talking about.
And really we had no intention of really mentioning it, because that is what ESPN wants us to do.
But you know what?
Screw it.

We aren't ones to organize many grassroots movements, but whatev.
The voting seems to start for the Crosby vs Jeter match up on July 11th.
Does anyone even know how it works?
Taking on Yankee Nation, is almost impossible, but if you have come this far maybe you are willing to come a little further.
Pass the word along, and lets see what happens

"Vote for Sid"

A Winter in the Sun
Game #38
January 2, 2007
Fleury is money in bank. PENS WIN

After buzzing like bees around the proverbial hive, Bing broke out of his half hour slump, and beat Ward five hole.
Picture: Crosby and Malkin are stunned to find out that they both made out with Rod Brind'amour's wife on news year eve.
As the game wore on, you couldn't help but think the Pens missing chance after chance to score would as usual come back to haunt them. But it didn't.

Commentorblog said:
Anonymous said...

After that pathetic excuse for blowing a scoring opportunity by Ryan Malone, I wonder if Thieren will put him on "shot probation."


Day number:


Do it

Go Pens


canaanmakesfood said...

hate me or saying it anyway:


Kenny Melvin said...

Canaan, you're a disgrace to commentblog ;). But seriously to jump on what you guys said about ESPN, they are covering the rock-paper-scissor tournament this weekend and i'm not kidding. Pretty soon Mary Hart is going to be the lead anchor along with 290 year old Williard Scott. Too bad Gary Roberts wasn't in the WSOP, do you think anybody would have gone all in against him?

Anonymous said...

stuart scott got his lazy-eye whenever espn had an interview with gary roberts and roberts just glared into the camera.

scott took the initial hit and to this day, his eye has never been the same.


Jason said...

i was just watching sportscenter and have a little bit better of an idea on how it works. you can vote online or text msg espn (which is gay, just vote online). It looks like espn is stacking the deck against sid though. Fan votes only count for 70% of the total. The other 30% is decided by an espn panel of 'experts'. I don't know if the experts are the same for every matchup, but today it consisted of stuart scott, keyshawn johnson, sean salisbury and some other asshole. I'm sure if it was up to these fucks, they'd all vote for jeter.

Kenny Melvin said...

Anon, lol

Anonymous said...

Is Coffey a permanent fixture?

Barrasso35 said...

Is Coffey a permanent fixture?

Paul Coffey is, was and always shall be. He may be converted from one form to another, but he can never be created or destroyed.

snoopyjode said...

Get your wife some gambling help, fag.

Speaking of homos:

outstanding segway, staff. i laughed til i cried. (do they give pulitzers to blog writers?)

we've all said it 1000 times; we all know it; it will be said 1,000,000 times more:

espn = joke

the fox news channel shows more intelligent and accurate programming than espn. espn is kind of like the nhl's bitchy ex-wife: the nhl left espn for someone younger and he thought would be more exciting, and now espn has become the bitter old woman badmouthing the ex to everyone in town. GET OVER IT, ALREADY AND BE PROFESSIONAL, DAMN IT. just report on sports. don't bash a league or tell me how irrelevant YOU think a particular sport is. just tell me the fucking score and move on. that's what the hell espn was originally created for. if i wanted to hear someone's stupid opinions, i'd turn on the aforementioned fox news channel. bodenheimer is a jackass and he can go fuck himself.

thepensblogderek said...

haha Jason good stuff.


Coffey might have made his last appereance, but whenever we can't find a one number of an athlete we like the formula is this:

Paul Coffey + (Number) = Day Number

This is not to be confused with the formula

Gary Roberts > Reality

canaanmakesfood said...

currently, im in the school of "commenting about gary roberts > paying the rent"

thank you for liberating me pensblog

Barrasso35 said...

Gary Roberts > Reality

LOL! This could be fun.

The square on the Gary Roberts is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.

Ryan said...

Ok so I'm a poker nut and I read this blog at taopoker.blogspot every year to follow the main event. Thought you guys would enjoy this excerpt about day 1 (talbot was mentioned briefly as well):

Janet Jones, aka Mrs. Gretzky, was in the mix. I'm shocked that she was playing since she was mentioned of being part of a gambling ring last year. At any rate, she looked a little older from when I used to wank-off to her when she pranced around in tights during the 1986 flick American Anthem. She had a bit of botox work done since then ad squeezed out a couple of offspring for The Great One. Here's what Change100 wrote for PokerNews...

"Dressed in a tight white tee, light-wash jeans and carrying an enormous quilted silver lame purse, Jones looks relaxed and focused in her seat at Table 157, her opponents likely oblivious to her fame and notoriety."

That's all she could talk about was her purse. She chugged the cock of the greatest hockey player of all time and all she could talk about was her purse? Chicks, man.

Janet Jones didn't play too well. She donked off her chips and hit the rail early. There was a funny moment when she her original table broke and she had to move. As she passed Devilfish's table, he stopped in the middle of a big hand to watch her walk by as his jaw dropped. The Littlefish in Devilfish's pants liked what he saw.

Kenny Melvin said...

Gary Roberts can find the square root of a negative number, seriously when are the goddamn Gary Robert's facts coming? Instead of a riot downtown, we should stage a riot demanding Robert's facts!

thepensblogderek said...

We are kinda of not sure about the Gary Roberts facts.

We kind of already did the Lemiuex facts, and quite frankly we don't re-use old stuff because we're not sure if it would even be that funny.

If we wrote for Mondesi's house maybe we would use it again, but I don't know, sometimes you have to beware of not overusing stuff.

jamesFALLEN said...

I agree the Roberts facts should be used sparingly. We should be focusing our efforts in attempting to get Crosby to upset Jeter. That would get some people's attention

John Tarbett said...

Boo...Gary Roberts facts would be cool, if only for a day or two.

Fact: Gary Roberts had a biography written about him. It is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records.

Barrasso35 said...

We are kinda of not sure about the Gary Roberts facts.

We kind of already did the Lemiuex facts, and quite frankly we don't re-use old stuff because we're not sure if it would even be that funny.

If we wrote for Mondesi's house maybe we would use it again, but I don't know, sometimes you have to beware of not overusing stuff.


Wow. That's class, ladies and gentlemen. Sure, the Pensblog could recycle some of their old schtick but they refuse. As they say, this is not Mondesi's House.

I'm a little disappointed that we won't be seeing Gary Roberts facts but, frankly, I totally understand.

That, my commentorblog friends, is the brass of a riverboat gambler.

¡Viva la Pensblog!

Kenny Melvin said...

Well Derek why wouldn't you want to be like the blog that provides sports and entertaiment with a sarcastic, Pittsburgh twist? JK. Mondesis house is a joke, they've recycled bits more than the Howard Stern show

thepensblogderek said...

"John Tarbett said...
Boo...Gary Roberts facts would be cool, if only for a day or two."

haha I know you have supported this idea, since you brought it up in an email a while back.

We'll make it up to you don't worry(did that sound homosexual?) hahaha

Anonymous said...

It's great how you guys can just whip out that Scott Norwood picture everytime any story involves Buffalo. It truly does remind you that Buffalo is the city of losers.

Jonny V said...

Sweet Cuppin' Cakes, it's segue

Blog dominance is irrelevant, and Chuck Norris facts--er Gary Roberts facts are as old as the gonads of the mighty brontosaurus


Kenny Melvin said...

The layout of pensblog right now is a mess. I mean the commentorblog is above the post.

Staff said...

yea we are having some huge problems right now


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