Wednesday, June 13, 2007

You Know It's The Offseason When...

First things first.
June 12, 2006.

Where were you?
Probadly not caring somewhere.
BigBatchNews recants the day.

"You can go look it up on PennDOT's website.
I have a license.
I haven't gotten a ticket for 20 years.
I even wear a helmet when I drive my Oldsmobile Alero."
..................

The News
in 100 words or less

...Nashville has new uniforms, too.

(Loser Chris)

......SnoopyJode basically runs the blog for us. She sent all kinds of stuff our way:
First up, the NHL awards begin sometime between 7:00-7:30pm Thursday.


That dude's hair is sick.

Second up.
Eric Staal is going to be on NHL 2008.
Only because he is Jordan's brother.


Some dude on the internet makes these mockups that can easily slide in and take the place of whatever cover of whatever game.
This is the MAF one we found in September.
The guy does a solid job.

Lastly, how mud is this from a Versus poll:




...Quick shotout to our boys over at The Steelersblog. They just launched this past week. Their writers are some of our favorite photoshoppers. Good luck boys.
...........................
Musicblog
Thank you Anonymous, Don Juan, Jonny V, Lauren, Lloyd, Snoopyjode, Stanley P. Kachowski & everyone else that isn’t a fan of Nirvana.
If TheCommentorblog has a few suggestions for next Tuesday’s featured artist/band, then Musicblog is all ears.


Pensblog Adam needs to be thanked as well--for letting us have another look at his Mark Eaton masterpiece.


Ahh the good old days.…


Smells Like Nirvana is hilarious!




Smells Like Teen Spirit




Come As You Are




You Know You're Right




Heart Shaped Box




In Bloom




Lithium




The Man Who Sold The World




Silver (Clay-mation)




Lounge Act



About A Girl

All Apologies

Breed

Dumb

Pennyroyal Tea

Rape Me

...........................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #21
After Thanksgiving nightmare.
This game seemed like it was 10 years ago.
Pens Ate Too Much on Thanksgiving. Pens LOSE

We didn't catch the game, and homo CW isn't doing a replay tonight. FSN would do it, but high school football kicks you in the pancreas if you turn it on Friday night. Malkin's wrist shot was sick, and I haven't been able to see any of the Islanders goals. Also read in the recap that Malkin left the ice after a shoulder-to-shoulder hit with an Islander player. Early reports were that he simply got his bell rung, although he may have jumped on a plane back to mother Russia.

Commentorblog:
bwzimmerman said... i actually watched the game at hi-tops, since it seems every other bar in the city only has Direct TV and doesn't get the CW. the experience was sad, annoying, expensive, and unfulfilling. the game bummed me out too.
High Tops= Gay

Messageboard
pens#1
Junior 'A'
Junior 'A'


Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 439
Location: allentown

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:23 pm Post subject: MT drops the ball againReply with quote

how many bench minors do we have to take??

getting 5 players on the ice and 5 off is his job!!!! can we scratch him for a game to send a message? it seems every game we get called to for too many men or come real close.

i know there will be alot of people down after the loss but look at it this way...if crosby played the last 3 games do u think we would have went 0-1-2? i dont were still in the playoff race and we are still in the Atlantic division race...

on tuesday Crosby will be back and will light up the Islanders!!!
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......................
And finally.
Since we all agree, the offseason sucks. And we all miss hockey,

You Know It's Penguin Offseason When...

  • You’re watching a tennis match on TV, waiting for Gary Roberts to crash the net.
  • You finish an intimate session with your girlfriend, and then wait to hear from the War Room to see if it will stand.
  • You put your trash out, expecting to see Michel Ouellet hanging off the back of the truck.
  • You go to McDonald’s and start a Student Rush line.
  • You wake up for work, only to realize that Michel Therrien changed your work schedule.
  • You think the Pirates will bring in MAF for a save.
  • You go to a magic show, fully expecting to see an act where Ryan Malone disappears.
  • You call someone who cuts you off in traffic a jobber.
  • During your lunch break, you expect Dan Potash to ask you questions about the upcoming afternoon.
  • You take a dump, and then Bob Errey tells you what Mike Yeo thought about it.
  • You go to Office Depot just to look at the pens.
  • You start photoshopping yourself.
  • Out of nowhere, your boss transfers you to Wilkes-Barre.
  • You throw a balled-up napkin at a trash can but miss. Michel Ouellet is there to put it in.
  • You got to the Pittsburgh Police Department shooting range and see Mark Eaton blocking shots.
  • You have a terrible morning at work, and Jocelyn Thibault shows up to take over for the afternoon.
  • Your grandma DDT’s you.
  • You get drunk and fear your picture is going be on deadspin or Mondesi's house.
  • Following sex, Blur’s Song 2 plays in your bedroom.
  • You watch every Pens game from the previous season to see if it syncs up with Dark Side of the Moon.
  • You find that game 50 against the Canadiens syncs up.
  • You pass a car in the slow lane, instinctively thinking John Leclair is driving it.
  • You fall at work and someone calls you a diver.
  • An announcement comes over the phone system at work and you swear it's John Barbero.
  • You have a huge meeting at work, during intermission of the meeting, you tune into the X to see if Bob Grove is recapping it.
  • A co-worker is walking across the office with his head down. Colby levels him.
  • Your boss chews you out at work, and you go home and check letsgopens.com to see if there is a post demanding your trade.
  • You nickname your immune system Rob Scuderi.
  • In the midst of a huge PowerPoint Presentation, you go off on a tangent about how you much you hate the New York Islanders.
  • You're kicking a rock down the street. Lemieux steals it and scores on a breakaway.
  • You play a recorded version of Jeff Jimmerson's Star Spangled Banner before sex.
  • You try to get to the vending machines at work, but co-workers have instituted the left-wing lock in the cafeteria.
  • A dude cock-blocks you at a party. Kerry Fraser steps in, signaling interference.
  • You're on vacation at the Grand Canyon, taking pictures. Everyone around is yelling SHOOT!
  • You smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day to re-create the atmosphere of intermission at Gate B.
  • Jay Caufield breaks down your commute to work.
  • Your workplace plays Welcome to the Jungle at 4:00.
  • You print Ice-Time Magazines for your daughter's piano recital.
.......................




Day Number

(Thanks to J-Schiff again)
Zubov started the whole--shooot thing.

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh wow...hahahaha Pensblog still has that touch.

You guys are solid

FritoWill said...

someone has to have the dve song ( i think it was during the scott paulson days) about SHOOT THE PUCK.

Barrasso35 said...

"You go to Office Depot just to look at the pens."

That's just sad... I feel the same way.

The offseason jobbing tour is great but I want it to end. Now that there really is no hockey, I'm starting to get the shakes.

I even busted out the retro 1970's Pens jersey for work today, even though it's warm and humid as hell. Don't care, Let's Go Pens!

Christina said...

"You call someone who cuts you off in traffic a jobber."

hahaha i do that multiple times a day.

i miss hockey...but i did enjoy Slap Shot on AMC last night. it helped the pain....a little.

snoopyjode said...

a few things:
1 - glad to help! :)
2 - the dude with the sick hair is henri richard, rocket's younger brother.
3 - "You finish an intimate session with your girlfriend, and then wait to hear from the War Room to see if it will stand." they're all great, but that was the best.
4 - HA! today's musicblog made me acutely aware of my age... anyways, maybe we could do a u2 musicblog sometime?

Teej said...

Thanks for the SteelersBlog link...excellent.

I have the DVE song "Shoot The Puck" somewhere on CD.

Speaking of Zubov, how the hell did you guys find a picture of him with the Pens? I ImageGoogled him and couldn't find one within like 15 pages and just gave up... though as Herb Brooks would say "I've got no time for quitters."

Barrasso35 said...

Just so we don't have a repeat of "The Larry Murphy Incident"

57-Chris Ferraro, Shawn Heins
58-Kris Letang
59-Robert Dome
60 to 65-Gary Roberts
66-If I even have to type anything here I'm going to burn Pensblog to the ground.
67-Gary Roberts
68-Jaromir Jagr
69, 70-Gary Roberts
71-Jiri Slegr, Konstantin Koltsov, Evgeni Malkin
72-Jeff Christian, Eric Meloche
73 to 75-Gary Roberts
76-Richard Park
77-Paul Coffey
78 to 81-Gary Roberts
82-Martin Straka
83, 84-Gary Roberts
85-Petr Klima
86-Hines Ward
87-Sidney Crosby
88 to 91-Gary Roberts
92-Rick Tocchet
93-Petr Nedved
94-Gary Roberts
95-Aleksey Morozov
96-Gary Roberts
97-Gary Roberts
98-Gary Roberts
99-Gary Roberts (retired league-wide on February 6, 2000)

Lloyd said...

I have shoot the puck on my iPod and at home... but i am at work now. I will try to upload it somewhere when i get home.

snoopyjode said...

this is for anyone interested in news about the progress of the development of the new arena.

snoopyjode said...

the pens changed their website. mostly it's the same with a slightly different layout. the fancy flash animation at the top is nice, though. it makes me feel all nostalgic.

Pat said...

Replace the tirade about hating the Isles with the Rangers, and that's actually close to something I've done before. I can't make myself care enough about the Islanders to hate them. I try. But I just can't do it.

Spencemo said...

I vote for an Elton John musicblog, but, that's just me...

Anonymous said...

apparely all that was needed to fix that versus poll was for you to mention it. As of noon, it was looking pretty good to me with Mr Roberts out in front where he should be.

snoopyjode said...

ahhhh, the power of the internet.

Loser Chris said...

Is there a way to place a negative vote for Recchi?

snoopyjode said...

silly balsillie is packing up the preds. well, it's more of a promise that IF he buys the team and IF he decides to move, the only place they will move to is hamilton. (see loser chris's photoshop above)

Ulf said...

Funny tibit about the fat guy that started the Backdoor boys and N'sync losing everything.

"A man wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers shirt paid $2,200 for a wall hanging commemorating the Backstreet Boys selling 7 million copies. He declined to be interviewed, but said he was still deciding whether to sell it."

Full article:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070613/ap_on_en_mu/people_lou_pearlman;_ylt=AvE9XH2xxtMk3aopZLyfQZcDW7oF

Anonymous said...

http://www.stardock.com/products/mycolors/nhl/gallery.asp?p=bostonbruins

NO PENS.

BASTARDS!

Anonymous said...

We got empire roberts up over shantyhand.

FUCK THE ISLANDERS! REMEMBER THE EARLY 90'S AND YOU WILL HATE THEM!

Barrasso35 said...

David Volek, I'm coming for you.

Antonette said...

A few things:
- Eric Staal's a good player, but when does Sid get his cover? He did kick the league's collective ass by winning the Art Ross.
- I second Elton John musicblog.
- The Offseason re-recaps are genius.
- Turn that list of "you know it's offseason when..." into a drinking game.

snoopyjode said...

yes, barrasso35, i agree. volek must pay.

Jason said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason said...

eric staal was tied for 40th in scoring. why exactly does he deserve the cover? i could see him being on the cover of last years game, when carolina won the cup but this is just bullshit.

i still have a copy of nhl 2002 with mario on the cover

Tiffany said...

Snoopyjode & Spencemo,
U2blog & EltonJohnblog sound solid. Perhaps Sir Elton will appear next Tuesday & U2 will be the Tuesday after that. (unless there are some other ideas)

& Jonny V,
If the rest of Commentorblog wants to submit movie soundtrack vids, then do it....hehe.

Thanks for the suggestions, guys.

wilsmith said...

a U2 blog would be disastrous, please don't!

Elton John blog would be incredible, at lease he's talented.

Loser Chris said...

Lost in all the hatred for David Volek is Claude Loiselle. Can't we have revenge on him too?

wilsmith said...

Please tell me no one posted this cheesy classic.

Anonymous said...

Guys...

You Know It's Penguin Offseason When... is outstanding!

This has got to be one of the best things written here since... Close Encounters Of The New NHL and The Magnitogorsk Redemption.

Karri

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

I have a bunch of Pens-related DVE morning show skits... back from the early 90's through present. In MP3 format.

The files are kind of big to email, but I can figure out a way to upload them to a free share site. If enough people are interested, respond.

Anonymous said...

Tiff...
Men At Work - Who Can It Be Now
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MOuEYSJCFqE

and

The Police - Don't Stand So Close to Me
http://youtube.com/watch?v=gXU8kCrRHJY

Karri

carlspackler said...

how about you know you're a pens fan when you hear don mclean's "American Pie" you instead sing the lyrics to dve's "French canadian guy"


and how about a rush musicblog since they are coming to town soon.

Anonymous said...

this is just really bad

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ibbv89cS5s4

culture club - do you really want to hurt me

Lauren

Lloyd said...

Shoot the puck:
http://uploadhut.com/view.php/535327.mp3

Lemieux with the puck, he glides it in to Francis, who gives it now to Nedved, gives it back to Francis. He passes it to Zubov, who slides it on the boards, back around to Mario so we must shout once more.... SHOOT THE PUCK, SHOOT THE PUCK!

We'll Kick Your Arse!:
http://uploadhut.com/view.php/535333.mp3

French Canadian Guy:
http://uploadhut.com/view.php/535335.mp3

Lloyd said...

use this link for the mp3's
http://oneminuteleft.orgfree.com/temp.php

This is an old site that i made with my cousin last year... but we gave up on it.

Click the CLICK HERE link in the middle area.

snoopyjode said...

tiffany - FANTASTIC!!! i'm looking forward to u2blog!

lloyd - thanks for the links!

Teej said...

A Tribe Called Quest:

"Electric Relaxation"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERQzl4xDpXk

"Award Tour"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qapou-3-fM8

The pinnacle of 90s hip-hop music, enough said.

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

Zip file containing a bunch of DVE Morning Show Pens-related skits/clips:

http://uploadhut.com/view.php/535356.zip

Zip file containing some DVE Morning Show Pens-related songs (some of which are already posted, but oh well, I'm too lazy to separate them):

http://uploadhut.com/view.php/535379.zip

(Thanks to lloyd for putting me on to uploadhut.com. That was easy.)

Lloyd said...

i went to my own webspace beause of the download speeds of upload hut...

oh well... let the downloading begin...

Don Juan said...

Incredible post, Pensblog.


And for Musicblog...

Billy Idol - Dancing with Myself:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZ0fkjHjlLk

David Bowie - Rebel Rebel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj9ZILlq1rA

Anonymous said...

u2blog would be worse than nirvana blog...i vote for rushblog!


-canaan

rachel said...

You Know It's Penguin Offseason When...

You guys haven't lost your touch, haha

Thanks for all the links everybody!

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