Tuesday, April 24, 2007


This Kid -- 1
Geeves -- 0

Geeves made a bigger mistake than when Carlos Mencia's mom decided to have sex.


The first round of the playoffs went faster than Willie Parker.

Too bad Jeff Hartings wont be around to hold people this year.


Game 1
Wednesday -- 7:00

Season Series: Buffalo won 4 - 0.

Note: All four games during the season were played before the Rangers dropped acid.
Sean Avery, like him or not, started some mind games already.

" I'm going to hurt them, I'm going to hit them, I'm going to be in their face as much as I can. ''

Adam: Buffalo
Derek: Buffalo
Chris: Buffalo
Nick: Buffalo


Game 1
Thursday -- 7:00
NHL goes down on CBC

Season Series: Devils won 3 - 1.

Note: What a series this will be.
Apologies to anyone with different sentiments, but the hatred for the New Jersey Devils trumps animosity toward any another team.


John Madden and the rest of the Devils will have their work cut out for them.
But if anyone can shut down an unreal line, it's the Devil jobbers.

Marty Brodeur vs. Ray Emery will determine the outcome.

Adam: Ottawa
Derek: Devils
Chris: Devils
Nick: Ottawa


Game 1
Wednesday -- 10:00

Season Series: Anaheim won 3 - 1.

Note: Roberto Luongo is no question worthy of the Hart Trophy.
But can he go the extra mile -- The Canucks saw more ice time then Kristi Yamaguchi in round 1.

Do it.

A rested Ducks team equals bad news for Vancouver.

Adam: Anaheim
Derek: Anaheim
Chris: Anaheim
Nick: Anaheim
Geeves: Stunned


Game 1
Thursday -- 7:30

Season Series: Sharks won 3 - 1.

Note: Goals scored this season
Calgary -- 255
San Jose -- 256 ( and no Miikka Kiprusoff )

If this was Sharksblog, could you imagine the photoshop possibilities with Todd Bertuzzi?
This series has seven games written all over it.

Adam: Detroit
Derek: San Jose
Chris: Detroit
Nick: Detroit

Bob Errey:

Sharks in 3.


Speaking of the Sharks, everyone in the comments section will be the jury for a much-heated debate brought to our attention by Jason "Save The Photoshop Save The World" Schiffhauer.

The Sharks come onto the ice surface before games through this huge shark mouth near the entrance to the locker room.
The shark's mouth bares a striking resemblance to Nelly Furtado's vagina.

The question is --
If Lemieux Group LP embarked on such an endeavor, what would the Penguins come through?
  • An igloo?
  • Belly of a huge penguin?
  • Gary Roberts' mouth?

Jay sent this along --


Just adjust that slider on the site.


Town Tavern on Carson Street
Friday, April 27
6:00 - 9:00

Open to the public.
$5 donation at the door.

See you there.


Notes to deliver

(This has an Amber Alert written all over it)

...Welcome to Gary Roberts of our Lives

...Some crane collapsed on a car at the new arena site.

Mark Eaton doesn't like people parking in his spot.

....Nice little piece on Malkin

Saturday, Shero summoned Malkin from the players' lounge when it was his turn.

"Geno," he said, using Malkin's English nickname and motioning the player to follow. "We're going to do this in English, so it won't take long."

Malkin, with a big grin, followed the general manager.

.. Joe Starkey with a funny column.
It sure beats anything by Ron Cook...or Bobby S.
( thanks to the commenter Eric)

... The Hill district group will present demands to the Penguins to share revenues.

Go to hell


....If you want to watch the World Championships online.
Here is the site.
You do have to pay $5 cash money though.


Tomorrow night

Ken Rice


David Johnson

Huge newscast

Watch it.
Recap, stats, player reaction to follow at 12:15


The lowdown on playoff brackets is coming shortly.
Time is hard to come by. Pray for rain.

Day 6


Anonymous said...

geeves = mud

Anonymous said...

sean avery is a joke, cant remember if it was ruutu or talbot that wanted to drop the gloves with him this season and he just skated away...pussy.

according to the PG, Roberts wants to play next season, it's up to Shero to seal the deal, and Ray said he "can work from Europe on the phone" so hopefully some kind of deal will be made in the next week or two.

you gotta feel for Turco, 3 shutouts and they still lose the series, thats tougher to swallow than being scored on by an 18 year old and a 40 year old in the same game (ahem, Ray Emery).


Stanley P. Kachowski said...

I think the Pens should come onto the ice through a giant replica of Danny Devito's head (y'know, as The Penguin in Batman Returns).

Or, Danny Devito's actual head, which would also probably work.

Great stuff on here fellas. Just hoppin' on the bandwagon from the land of LGP and Pens Message Board Nation.

Anonymous said...

Starkey on some kind of hallucinogenic drugs:



Jason said...

i really think i hate the capitals more then the devils. for awhile it seemed like it was mandatory that the pens play the caps in the playoffs.
atleast the devils have a few former fighting sioux players i can cheer for.

maybe the pens can get a giant version of wendell clark perched in the butterfly position. the players can skate onto the ice through his legs and jab him in the taint with their sticks as they pass beneath him

Jonny V said...

For the 'Nucks to win that series when their power play was something like 3 for 34 is unbelievable. We'll see how far that gets them against Anaheim. I don't know how I'd feel about an all-Canadian Stanley Cup final, but I know I don't want to see our division brethren there.

I think the team should skate out from under a replica of the Civic Arena's roof. Or Wendell Young perched in the butterfly position is cool. (We know what u meant Jason)

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Buffalo, Anaheim, Detroit and Ottawa advance. Bet the farm on it.

FritoWill said...

stanley P. WOOHOOO!!!

at this point i have nothing.....

sorry for the waste of time.....

i need to go push Dorito's for a living

Adrienne said...

Buffalo in 5, NJ in 6, San Jose in 7 and Vancouver in 5

Jason said...

A giant igloo would be totally gay.

Anonymous said...

Totally gay would be totally gay

dying alive said...

In the office pool I picked the Ducks, the Wings, the Devils and the Sabres to advance to round 3, but I wouldn't be surprised to see Ottawa upset the Debs. I almost hope for it, even though it'll cost me about $300 if they do.

I don't know which is worth more to me, $300 cash or seeing the look on Oompa Loompa Lou's face if the Debs get knocked out in the second round.

Shit, I'm rooting for Ottawa in four.

Elly said...

Thank god someone else can understand the mental anguish between chosing the Senators or the Devils. Do you chose the better team, the long-hated rival, or the team that just kicked the shit out of your team out of pure spite? It's a tough one.

Shame about that car at the new site. Mark Eaton jokes in offseason are always welcome.

Anonymous said...

The hill district can pound sand.

Uncle Tom said...

No, no, the Hill District can pick cotton

Anonymous said...

Georges Laraque: "Drop your gloves already and a couple of pounds while you're at it."

*Erik Christensen: "Your shootout skills make you a must-keep, but you really need to add some joy to your game. Believe in yourself -- and try taking Marilyn Manson out of your iPod."

Don't know what manson has to do with the crusher...

Starkey got balls???

Jonny V said...

I think it's because Crusher always looks pissed off, a Gary Roberts Jr. if you will. I believe the reference has to do with Starkey's belief that Manson fans are all brooding, hateful chaps looking to spread their stormy rainclouds over the entirety of existence

Or he has balls.

dying alive said...

Anyone see the Buccos game last night? They showed EC and Fleury in the stands watching the game. Fleury had a big smile on his face and EC looked like someone just took a crap in his beer. Does the guy EVER crack a smile?

Loser Chris said...

Rangers in 6
Devils in 7
Sharks in 6
Ducks in 5

As far as a team entrance... why not just stick with tradition and keep having Mark Eaton carry the whole team out on his back?

seth said...

what's the big deal about the 11:00 newscast?

Joshua said...

EC as quiet as he is, loves heavy death metal. Hence the Manson remark.

dying alive said...

I took the liberty of nominating Pensblog for the Blogger's Choice Awards. You can vote here:

Not like winning an Espy or anything, but you guys deserve some recognition for all of the work you put into this site. You do have to register in order to vote, but it's the least that jobbers like us can do. Clearly we've all got a lot of time to kill online judging by the number of comments here.

AJ said...

I have no idea what the Pens should skate out of in the new arena... maybe a little replica of Heinz Field. Then we'd never win an Eastern Conference Championship game at home.

However, when the Flyers play here they should skate out of a giant replica of Ed Rendell's ass.

Anonymous said...

The Pens will skate out of the coin tray of a huge, loud, light up slot machine.

Or a blow up replica of either Jerome Bettis' or Mark Madden's ass.

Steve said...


bluzdude said...

They could roll out on Gary Roberts' immense set of balls.

Basher said...

I thought you guys did a great job. Being stuck down here in the land of the Thrashers, it is great to read about the Pens even though I can't watch too many games. Keep it up, and Mario Lemieux is God.

Staff said...

Seth we are recapping the nighty news because we are bored and need to keep the recap skills up in the off season

Anonymous said...

Love the Transporter pic at the top

rwarner174 said...

I don't get it, the Hill District has demands? What kind of demands do they have the right to make? Did I miss something in the arena deal agreement?

Actually I am fine with the area getting some money. It would be a nice thing for the Lemuiex grop.
But why is there always bullshit provisions like 30% minorities? What it your white and live in the hill district you arn't allowed to get a job? What a buch of racist bullshit.

When is white america going to get fed up with this racist crap? Who votes for assbags that support this agenda?

EmDubs said...

Who else is totally fired up for the 11:00 news? I'm hoping they switch up the game plan a little bit. Maybe go with sports before weather just to throw people off a little.

Geeves said...

is it necessary? for me to stick my foot in my mouth? no. but it's sanitary, and i like the taste.

how the hell was i supposed to know minnesota would hit the playoffs and forget how to score?

all those ottawa fans can suck it. as soon as jersey starts getting 30+ shots per game, they'll expose emery and be done with him in five games.

game one - 3-1 devils
game two - 2-1 ottawa
game three - 2-0 devils
game four - 3-0 devils
game five - 4-2 devils

(yes, let's see if I can get my other foot in my mouth)

Geeves said...

5-4 ottawa

well, i was right about emery, at least.


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