Thursday, March 22, 2007

Quoth The Islanders, "Nevermore."

The team that is somehow more annoying than the Devils.

Here is the summary of the games played this year with links to our jobber recaps.

It started on Thursday, October 19.
Back in the days when the game recap was posted before midnight.
Gonchar scores in overtime to spark the Pens on that early-season five-game winning streak.
The origins of Ouellet's affiliation with Waste Management is found within that recap.
PENS 4 -- NYI 3

The Day After Thanksgiving.
One of two games we didn't see all year.
NYI 3 - PENS 1

A few days later, Fleury steals the show on his birthday.
Chris Thorburn's Lemieux goal early in the third periodis the game-winner.
PENS 3 -- NYI 2

And then a few days after that, the Islanders win.
NYI 5 - PENS 3

A scary game in mid-December.
The Pens led 5-1 in the third.
But the Isles score thrice in 2:21 to make it 5-4.
Then Sid made that one-man play on the boards where he kicked it to himself.
Malone buried Crosby's pass for the hat trick.
That was Sid's fourth point of the night -- giving him 10 in the last two games.
PENS 7 -- NYI 4

Then came the second game of the Pens' 16-game point streak.
Richard Park scored that sweet shorthanded goal on Fleury.
This was the notorious Jason Blake Spear game.
PENS 5 -- NYI 2

Finally, the aforementioned streak came to an end.
One of the best games of the year.
Recchi with 5 points -- never to be heard from again.
And the only other game we didn't see all year.
NYI 6 -- PENS 5



D-Copp, break it down.

Do it.

Pens have 92 points.
Carolina, the 8th seed, has 80 points.

The three teams vying to get into that eighth spot are:
Canadiens ( 80 points -- 8 games remaining ) -- can attain maximum of 96 points.
Maple Leafs ( 80 points -- 9 games remaining ) -- can attain maximum of 98 points.
Islanders ( 79 points -- 10 games remaining ) -- can attain maximum of 99 points.

( Note: Sorry to insult anyone's intelligence, but you get 2 points for a win. )

So, which team could kick us out of the playoffs? And how do we eliminate that threat to us?
The Pens grabbing another 5 points would eliminate the Montreal threat -- 97 pts. to 96 pts.
Another 7 points would eliminate Toronto -- 99 pts. to 98 pts.
Another 8 points eliminates the Islanders -- 100 pts. to 99 pts.

Magic numbers as of 4:00 P.M. Thursday are





Now here's the fun part....

Scenario -- Pens win in regulation tonight:

The Pens would then have 94 points.
The Islanders ( now 9 games left) would only be able to attain a maximum of 97 points, rather than 99.
The Pens would then need 98 pts. to eliminate NYI -- reducing their magic number to 4.
A Pens' win coupled with any of those three teams losing results in a 4-point swing with that team.
Pens' victories and/or any losses by the three teams shrink the magic numbers.


Montreal in action against Boston tonight.

Buffalo's 101 points has/have clinched them a spot in the playoffs already.
They are now playing for home-ice advantage throughout.


If you scrolled past that previous section, you are a smart human being.
Who wants to read that garbage.

A brand-new Penguins blog has sprouted onto the scene.

They did some funny stuff recently about Staal vs. Paul Bunyan...and a Mr. Roberts' Neighborhood segment.
Good stuff.


An illustrious Photoshop Expo is coming this Sunday evening.

The much-hyped Penguins playoff goals video is coming to a Pensblog near you on Sunday, April 8th.
We apologize in advance for the brightness of the video.
We weren't on the AV crew in high school.
We don't think a tape like this exists anywhere else on Earth, and we are just as irritated and annoyed as you will be at the video quality.
But you can hear Mike Lange in his prime.

Lemieux was on acid.

The "More From This User" tab on YouTube houses sneak peeks of some other goals.
Just click that video above.


Some random photoshops.
Just the first ones we grabbed.

Jen Giarrusso

Any thoughts on who that is behind Malkin?
Is it Troy Loney? Kinda looks like a young Paul Steigerwald.

Andrew McDonald

Tiffany Walters

Granville Kris


And finally, commenter Antonette mentioned in the comments about somehow getting these photoshops to the players.
That would be pretty sweet.

Any ideas?

Go Pens.


EmDubs said...

The guy behind Jagr looks like a young George W. Bush....

Anonymous said...

in the words of the pensblog, that playoff video made me throw up.

lol it does look like G.W.

how disgusting was mario in those playoffs...

Christina said...

i agree, i think it looks like W as well.

pensblog got a mention in EmptyNetters...and in the same post is a rather priceless video featuring army and other WBS rookie pens in drag. put down your drinks before you watch...

e.mirchich said...

Great, great, great post. Thank god you staffers did all that playoff math that I hate to do. Great explanation. Awesome photoshops, especially the "Steel City" header. Great job on that one Canaan.

Can't wait for the playoff goal vid to hit, exciting stuff.

rachel said...

Christina, that video is hilarious! I wish I had the Chasing the Dream dvd...

Amazing photoshops everyone!

Spencemo said...

What can you say about that video of Army & his buddies besides...I bet their moms are proud!

Jon said...

Man everybody's frisky in this game. There've been like 4 facewashes i've seen.
About getting those photoshops to the players, maybe print them on good paper, or even take them to a kinko's type place, then mail them to the civic arena. I don't know how much it would cost to get them printed up, but I know i'd be down to donate 5 or 10 bucks...I trust yinz not to blow the money on a keg or some sticky icky

Staff said...

haha hey now.

our writers have a drug-free policy.

but a case of beer would definitely be given consideration.

Jon said...

Oh and as I watch the game, I'm drinking a new drink I concocted. It's Pepsi Jazz Caramel Cream with vodka and I mean it's absolutely breathtaking. I mean that thing's good...I wanna be friends with it.

♥tiffany♥ said...

Oh my gosh!! Nice playoff trailer. "ŮŽ" And The Guins Blog....that Army video is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Miroslav "Satan" can go to Hell!

thomes08 said...

this game is driving me nuts.

Add the islanders to teams i don't want to play in the playoffs. That or we need someone to stand up to their players besides army. We need to get Blake back bad, he thinks he can do anything against us and get away with it. And right now he's right

Oh, to watch the rest of the game on the internet go here
using IE. Might have to disable the popup blocker


Loser Chris said...

Sorry, the second I turned on the game (via Comcast online) Kozlov scored.

Anonymous said...

This team is garbage. They will be lucky to get 8th seed.

Anonymous said...

Glad they got Lablack to play 5 min a game and suck. This team is absolute garbage. Goodbye playoffs, it was a nice dream.

thomes08 said...

if the islanders are garbage i'm worried. Cause it's looking like another goose egg for us

Karri said...

Only good thing right now is that Tampa Bay is beating New Jersey 3 to 1 also with 5 min. to play.

Jon said...

The Islanders are gayer than Yashin's turtlenecks.

Karri said...

Yeah anonymous you are right...the Islanders do SUCK big!

rachel said...

I hope someone from another team just destroys Witt and Blake.

Matt said...

Anybody listening to the radio broadcast? I'm pretty sure #29 called Gary Roberts "Gordie Roberts" and kept talking without hesitation. I love it.

Wait 'Til Next Year

rachel said...

The Steigy on Nightly Sports Call just called a caller and idiot and a moron for saying that they should be talking about Pitt instead of hockey.

The heading pretty much describes by emotions, haha.

Personally, I think Recchi needs to be taken off the top PP unit. He hasn't scored in a lot of games (I don't feel like finding the stat). He's also a pretty small guy and the guy is 39, he needs a break every once in a while! I say put Staal out there. He'd be a big body in front of the net. He's also got a great sense with the puck.

The Devils are just handing us the division title...

3 TB - 1 NJ

tiffany said...

Rachel, I wanted Laraque to take Witt and Blake's heads off, but the refs wouldn't let anyone fight. >_< So I agree with you that someone else needs to get it done. I also agree about Recchi & Staal.

That protest picture at the top is definitely appropriate.....grrr.

Anonymous said...

What's up with that new website The Guins Blog? I liked it better the first time...when it was called The PENS Blog.

They even have your exact same copyright notice at the bottom of the page.


We are in no way affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Pensblog uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey our criticism and inform the public.

Photos on The Pensblog are used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us ( and we will be happy to oblige.