Friday, March 9, 2007

Point Taken. PENS LOSE.


4 - 3
SHOOTOUT


NHL.COM RECAP


The game starts off just like every other Devils game does:
The ice-hockey equivalent of a staged reading of "Little Women."

Fleury makes a huge save on Langenbruner after a brain fart from Rob Scuderi.
Early on, it looked like Phil Bourque was going to bounce back just fine from being pulled in Ottawa.

After a great individual effort by Ryan Malone, the Pens get sent on the power play.

Sidney Crosby sighting on the ensuing power play; almost forgot he was on the team.
He gets an assist on a Malkin goal.
Mellon Arena ecstatic.

To add some drama to the first, Ouellet takes a stupid penalty.

Ouellet is awful.

In a surprise move, Billy Joel Kwiatkowski made his Penguins debut.


"Scenes From The Steelhead Wine & Brasserie"

Period two begins.
Steiggy and Errey discuss the propriety of referring to Jordan Staal as the pterodactyl after we all learn that the guys on the team refer to him as Gronk.
Gronk?
That's the nickname my uncle Cliff gave to his penis in 1976.

Carry-over power play for the Devils to start the second period. The Pens kill it, but another one was looming on the horizon...because Ouellet was on the ice and always takes penalties.

Ouellet is awful.

Some turd named Greene scores for the Devils to tie it.
The vaunted shot from the point.

Greene becomes seemingly the 3,000th opponent to score his first goal in the NHL against Fleury and the Pens this season.


Emily Pandolfo scored her first career field-hockey goal on MAF's sister in 2004.

The Devils controlled the period from that point on.
The Devils are winning some key faceoffs, and it eventually pays off. Brylin scores a goal from the Ovechkin position.
It was probably Ouellet's fault.

Ouellet is awful.

At some point in the 2nd period, Patrik Elias became a tough guy and took a run at Maxime Talbot.
Georges Laraque quickly informs Elias that he will eat his kids.

Amidst all of this, the arena meeting is a dark background against this game.

Rob King comes on during the break and informs us that Ben Franklin, John Hancock, and Patrick Henry have joined the meetings in Philadelphia.


" Give me a new arena or give me death....and the money you owe me from my contract in the mid-90's. "

The third period commences, and the Devils start clamping down the trap.


Devils coach Claude Julien invites little boys over to play MouseTrap at his house.
If the boys lose, they are molested.
Claude Julien's record: 120-0.

Gonchar puts on his Jordan Staal hat and picks up a shortie.
Cheap goal.
food stamps.

The arena is in a frenzy when Malone clears the puck on the PK to bring the power play to and end.

Never fear.
The Devils came roaring back to take the lead.
Good job getting it to the net and praying for a bounce.
3 - 2.
8 minutes left.


Dicks.

This one looks to be over. The Devils will trap until rapture.

Sid comes close, but the puck is poke-checked away.
Wow.
Mellon Arena about to explode.
Malkin is on the verge of something huge.

With less than three minutes left, it happened.
The Devils' first miscommunication of the 21st century gives Malkin the puck on a silver platter.
He dishes it out to the slot.


MVP! MVP! MVP!

Ouellet is a great hockey player.

Mayhem ensues in the closing minutes.
Malkin being taken down along the boards brought everyone in the Mellon to their feet, screaming.

Rasmussen takes a cheap shot on Rex.
Rafalski takes a cheap shot on Malkin.
Malkin responds with an elbow.

Malone plants Jonny Oduya with an inverted DDT.

People start getting out of the way of Gary Roberts.
Bodies, sticks, elbows flying everywhere.

Colby delivers the knockout punch on Brad Lukowich.
Lukowich is down on the ice, while the entire Mellon Arena crowd is still on their feet...and booing.
Great sight.

The referees lost all control of the game in those last two minutes.

The overtime was going good until Gretzky decided to go 1-on-6.
Was he tripped? Was it Michel Ouellet's fault? Possibly.

It doesn't matter as John Madden starts off on the longest breakaway in Mellon Arena history.
Images of the Montreal game dance through our heads as Madden streaks down the ice.

Madden urinates all over himself when gets down near Fleury.
Doesn't even get a shot off.

Maybe another couple heart-stopping moments in OT, but it doesn't matter.
Another shootout.


Crusher up first. Tries to shoot. No dice.
Fleury says no to Parise trying the Christensen move. 0-0.

Malkin can't find his groove either.
Rowengartner denied by MAF. 0-0.

Sid listens to Bob Marley.
Elias skates in.

Game.


Stats
  • Crosby: 1 A (Actually played tonight.)
  • Malkin: 1 G, 1 A (Best player on the Pens.)
  • Ouellet: 1 G (H-A-R-T T-R-O-P-H-Y)
  • Fleury: 2,600 saves
  • Powerplay: NJD ( 1 for 4 ) PENS ( 1 for 3 )
  • Shots: NJD ( 39 ) PENS ( 24 )
Miscellaneous
  • Great atmosphere.
  • Another point for the play-off drive.
  • Another third-period comeback.
  • Again, those last two minutes of the third were mind-boggling. What happens next time when Jay Pandolfo goes all OZ on the ice and shanks someone?
  • Georges Laraque needs to play more.
  • The Mellon Arena glass-changing crew was called into action tonight to make some repairs. Ottawa's crew makes them look like mud.
  • We're not gonna catch the Devils. We'll gladly take the point.
......................................



David Copperfield now puts the Penguins magic number at 20.

Go Pens.
God Help Us All.

.......................................


Chris Simon two-hands Hollweg.

Correction: Props to commenter Phil.

36 comments:

Loser Chris said...

Can we all just set our calendars ahead to Wednesday for daylight savings?

thomes08 said...

explain the magic numbers?

who's all involved?

Andrew said...

hmm... i just posted but it's gone...

oh well, here's the important part:
anyone see this? it's brutal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esETGHljQi4

-andrew13

phil said...

props to andrew?

i posted that in the

Thursday, March 8, 2007
It's Coming





Unbelievable.

comment section !

phil said...

haha thanks

Staff said...

hahaha no problem, man.

i'm glad you told us.
thank you.

we didnt get a chance to read through those comments yet.

that could've killed hollweg.
the hammer has to come down on Simon.

Nick said...

Thomes08:

To answer your question about the magic number...This is how it's calculated. Right now, you take the team in 9th place(Carolina/Toronto). They have 73 points from 68 games.

We're currently in 5th place, 82 points from 67 games.

The maximum amount of points Carolina/Toronto could get right now would 28 from their remaining games which would put them at 101.

If we finished with 102, we would have them beat. To do that, we would need to acquire 20 more points from our remaining 15 games.

Everytime that we win, we subtract 2 points from that number. If we or Carolina/Toronto lose in OT or shootout, you subtract 1 point from that number. If Carolina/Toronto wins, you do nothing with the number.

That's long and confusing, but I hope that you can understand it.

-Nick

tiffany said...

Staff,
Another teriffic post! It was a little heart-breaking seeing them not get the two points after battling back like that. But hey, at least they got one point like you guys said. Oh, I liked the intentional flip-flopping with Michel Ouellet. "Ouellet is aweful.....Ouellet is a great hockey player." MVP and Hart Trophy contender.....hehe.

And I LOVED the "Mouse Trap" reference......still like that game. ;)

Mike M said...

Nice to see Malkin playing like that, he seems so on again/off again to me.

Who thought Brooks Orpick was totally crazy when he was joining the attack on the 4 on 4 (i think it was during the Malone hook/dive penalty)? Scared me half to death.

As much as Ouellet is criticized around here, I think having him, Malkin and Staal play on the same line together is a pretty good idea. I don't have any stats, but during the streak I'd be willing to bet that line contributed the most goals.

Also I think its time for Recchi to get off the top line. I just don't think he's fast enough to play with Sid. When I was at the game on Sunday against the Flyers some moron behind be was moaning about how Sid will go into the attacking zone and try to maneuver through the whole team, but he does that to try creating space, and he needs someone fast enough to get into that space. Christensen? Or maybe just shove Staal's long stick in there.

Speaking about "the long stick of Staal," I have a new appreciation for why they say that so much after having seen him line up to start against Philly. When he's moving around the ice you can't appreciate how tall he really is, but standing next to his teamates he is enormous.

And who was yelling for them to put Laraque out there during those frantic last few minutes?

tiffany said...

This goes out to The Pensblog Staff for all of their hard work. ;-) (A parody of 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel.) Here's the YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1_M_L_RSI


Billy Joel Kwiatkowski – Pensblog Staff

It's 7:30 on a Thursday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his picture of Malkin

He says, "Son can you write me a memory?
I'm not really sure how it goes,
But it's Sid and Ouellet and Mad Maxime Talbot
And even a few of your Joe's."

(Bridge)
La, la, la, didi, daa
La, la, didi, daa
Daa, dum

(Chorus)
Write us a recap, you're the Pensblog staff
Write us a recap tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for an arena deal
And you've got us feeling alright

Now Chris at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
Derek's quick with a joke
Or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be

And Nick says "I believe this is killing me,"
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that we all could be movie stars
If we could get out of this place."

(Bridge)
Oh, la, la, la, didi, daa
La, la, didi, daa
Daa, dum

Now Adam’s a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talking with Gabey, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the puckbunny’s gathering some more chicks
As politicians slowly get owned
They're making a deal--significant progress
And it's better than moving from home

(Chorus)
Write us a recap, you're the Pensblog staff
Write us a recap tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for an arena deal
And you've got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Thursday
And the coaches just give me a smile
'Cause they know that it's me you've been coming to read
To forget about life for a while

And the words that we write are like poetry
And the keyboard smells like a beer
And they sit at their desks wondering what we’ll do next
And say "Guys, what are you doing here?"

(Bridge)
Oh, la, la, la, didi, daa
La, la, didi, daa
Daa, dum

(Chorus)
Write us a recap, you're the Pensblog staff
Write us a recap tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for an arena deal
And you've got us feeling alright

tiffany said...

Now that THAT'S out of the way, I can finally get some sleep. Good night......well, good morning......oh whatever. ;-)

Staff said...

tiffany, what a thing to wake up to.

surreal stuff.

we love it.

thank you!

Anonymous said...

As usual, I'm starting my day with ThePensblog before I have to go to work...it's making me run late...I love the line..."Steiggy and Errey discuss the propriety of referring to Jordan Staal as the pterodactyl after we all learn that the guys on the team refer to him as Gronk.
Gronk?
That's the nickname my uncle Cliff gave to his penis in 1976."...hahaha - thanks for that...hahaha
Then I go to the posts...and as I read the comments I see
Tiffany's parody...Billy Joel Kwiatkowski – Pensblog Staff...

Tiffany...you are absolutely amazing!!! Wow! I'm speachless and that's hard for me. Thank you!

Karri

Elizabeth said...

I'm so glad we all tortured ourselves yesterday about the arena stuff since the meeting apparently did nothing. Rendell says they made 'significant' progress. They were probably just watching the game and eating cheetos.

hooks orpik said...

kwiatkowski (i'm not even learning how to spell his name, that's how much i disrespect him) and scuderi on the same pairing.

that's about as terrible as walking in on your grandparents doing it.

PS pensblo staff, check out james mirtle (respected canadian journalist) blog.

http://mirtle.blogspot.com/2007/02/playoff-push-95-points-or-bust.html

every day he updates the teams standings based on the premise of the record they need to get to 93 points (and basically be ensured a playoff spot). very encouraging.

Elizabeth said...

some videos for others who don't get FSN.

the gronk:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=UuovEAk-aOk

pens road trip:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=UCqH3u_iLyM

Anonymous said...

"Significant progress," my nut-sack.

Anonymous said...

They had Doritos, not Cheetos, get it right.

And don't forget Ravenstaal probably played his PSP in the corner while the "big people" negotiated.

Anonymous said...

" As an example of how much the issue has dominated conversation in the city, talk radio devoted more hours of discussion to a meeting between politicians and millionaires in Philadelphia than it did to the Steelers punter. "

is that guy serious?
like is he bashing the steelers or at awe because of how much attention the penguins got

-Jay

Jon said...

"The Devils will trap until the rapture..." Or until the fateful day that Brodeur hangs up his skates and decides to become a full time refrigerator magnet salesman. Awesome game, esp. the last two minutes, I love to see that type of hockey without players actually getting hurt, or taking hockey sticks from a two handed slash from a Native American.

Tiffany, u have me convinced that you are Pensblog's answer to Adam Sandler. How u come up with those lyrics so quick is a gift, you've been blessed girl.

And at least there was "substantial progress", instead of quotes saying that it was all for naught. Like a few of yinz said, until those moving vans come to the Igloo, there is still hope!

phil said...

how ironic that the chris simon incident comes on the third anniversary of todd bertuzzi hitting steve moore

Justin said...

joe tollison used the term "jobbed" this morning on nhl live on sirius. HAHAHA

marc said...

Mellon arena was definatly goin to explode.... i was at the game, and it was definatly insane.... Great atmosphere... when fleur stopped that breakaway in OT you could have taken all the energy from that one moment and leveled PPG place..... it was awesome

Nick said...

Tiffany,

A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

Hopefully, that describes how pumped I was to see that.

hooks orpik,

Thanks for the link. I had seen that site before, but with the way everything has gone over the past 6 years with this team, you can never be too sure.

EmDubs said...

How could that jackass even possibly equate the the importance of a meeting essentially deciding whether one of our major sports franchises would leave town to the Steelers not signing a punter? He's probably not even from Pittsburgh, yet might be the biggest yinzer in all the land.

Anonymous said...

Colby's elbow as "the knockout punch" might get a look at by the league after they sort out the hit by Simon.

Rwarner174 said...

emdubs, I am with you.
Its crap statements like that, that could make a person hate steelers football. Total crap.

Jon said...

Someone posted this article on the penguins message board, a good, funny read...I especially like the line about the reason it was shifted to Philly

Penguin Decision Could Come Thursday

by Michael Menser Dell, Editor-in-Chief

Mario Lemieux and Penguins officials will meet with Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell and NHL commissioner Gary Bettman on Thursday in Philadelphia to discuss the precarious arena situation in Pittsburgh. It's believed Allegheny County Chief Executive Dan Onorato and Pittsburgh's boy mayor Luke Ravenstahl will also be in attendance, providing enough douche to test the integrity of a Kevlar bag. But the meeting could be the last chance to save the Arctic Birds.

This is it, folks. One way or the other, we should know the fate of the Penguins by tomorrow night. The meeting was originally scheduled to be held at Mellon Arena, but the Penguins preferred to have it someplace they owned, so it was shifted to Philadelphia.

Actually, when you're hunting a snake, it's best to look for him in his hole, and Rendell lives in Philly; it's where he sheds his skin and eats his mice. But never fear, Penguins fans, I'm sure Mario will get all Rikki-Tikki-Tavi on his ***.

While it's been a trying time for Penguins fans, things are progressing right on schedule. Lemieux has orchestrated this beautifully, playing the politicians like Jon Casey on a breakaway, allowing them to charge out of the gate only to calmly pull the puck to his backhand at the last second and dump the puck into the yawning net.

The masterstroke was issuing the now infamous "impasse" letter earlier this week. It caught Rendell and his cronies completely off guard. The political pinheads thought negotiations were going well, because in their world, stall tactics, lack of progress, and abhorrent behavior are standard operating procedures. Rendell was simply running out the clock, hoping to string along the team, getting close to a deal without finalizing it, until it became too late for the Penguins to leave, forcing the club to renew its lease with Mellon Arena for one more year, thereby forfeiting the leverage of relocation.

Declaring an impasse was a bold, brilliant move, breaking Rendell's neutral zone trap with one long lead pass to the opposing stripe. The public outcry it created forced Rendell back to the table, and it did so on Lemieux's terms.
Up til now, Rendell had been dictating play. When the two sides initially met following the slots license fiasco, everything seemed golden, with the Penguins genuinely encouraged a deal could be reached without much grief. But the good times didn't last. Mario missed the second meeting to attend a charity golf tournament, and Rendell reportedly took advantage of his absence, literally screaming and pounding the table like a deranged madman, attempting to strong-arm the Penguins into an agreement.

Needless to say, Mario was not amused, telling the press the team was "offended and very disappointed." Everyone thought the club was disappointed in the Governor's offer, never suspecting the comment was truly directed at Rendell's immature, brutish behavior. The truth was only revealed in the past few days. It puts the Georges Laraque acquisition in a whole new light, doesn't it?

But that's why Bettman's presence at Thursday's meeting is critical. At this point, the two sides definitely need a mediator. Bettman has reportedly been acting as a go-between the past few weeks, but having him in the same room should curtail Rendell's grandstanding. After all, the minute he heard the Penguins declared an impasse, Rendell immediately threatened to run to Bettman and have the league bar any threat of relocation. He sees Bettman as his ally, so it's unlikely he'll start channeling Mussolini with Li'l Napoleon in the room.

I believe the two sides are extremely close to an agreement. There's simply too much money to be made by everyone involved if the Penguins stay in Pittsburgh. Follow the money.

Mario doesn't want to move the team and tarnish his legacy, and he certainly wants to do what's best for Sidney Crosby, who I'm sure by now he sees as his own son. Considering the young talent already in place and the club's equally young, fervent fan base, if the team stays in Pittsburgh, it's a license to print money. With a new arena, the financial potential is unlimited.

The NHL doesn't want Crosby and its most exciting team to be yanked away from one of the strongest hockey markets in the United States and transplanted to a hockey wasteland like Kansas City. And if the Penguins moved to K.C., Las Vegas, Houston, or any of the other rumored destinations, the league would lose out on a hefty expansion fee. Make no mistake, the league will expand within the next couple years.

Rendell, Onorato, and Ravenstahl certainly don't want the team to leave. They know what the club means to the local economy. More importantly, they know what this means to their careers. Politicians care for image above all else. Allowing the Penguins to relocate, particularly now with the team on the verge of greatness, would follow them to their graves, crippling any further political aspirations. Ah, but make an arena deal, and everyone would forget the trio's collective ignorance and corruption throughout the entire process; they'd be the men who saved the Penguins. That would look real nice on a campaign poster.

Politicians are lying, thieving weasels, only trusted for their obsessive devotion to their own self- interests. They'll never do anything until all other options of avoidance and procrastination have been exhausted. By declaring an impasse, Lemieux effectively split the defense. That's why there's a meeting Thursday. And that's why an arena deal will get done.


As always, LCS Hockey will keep you posted on further developments. If you'd like to voice your concerns to the involved public officials, here's the appropriate contact information...

Governor Ed Rendell
717.787.2500
E-mail (web form)

Dan Onorato
412-350-6500
executive@county.allegheny.pa.us

Luke Ravenstahl
412-255-2626
mayorcompl@city.pittsburgh.pa.us

Rwarner174 said...

Ha ha ha, that was a great article.

Alex said...

Adam is this your table?
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1745377

Anonymous said...

Jon..thanks for the article...

"The meeting was originally scheduled to be held at Mellon Arena, but the Penguins preferred to have it someplace they owned, so it was shifted to Philadelphia."

I agree...funny line...hahaha

...and..."By declaring an impasse, Lemieux effectively split the defense. That's why there's a meeting Thursday. And that's why an arena deal will get done."

I hope this guy is right!!!

Karri

thomes08 said...

this week is going to kill mr, but i'm glad i actually believe that both sides won't comment. This way, when i check the news all the time i won't be (too) afraid of the possibility of that dreaded headline saying there will be no deal.

I want to get in an accident and put into a coma. Wake up thursday to someone telling me good news.

thomes

rachel said...

I was at the game last night and the atmosphere was amazing as usual! I was just hoping for the glass crew to come flying out on skates, but no...

Tiff, I love the song!

Jon, that article made my day, haha!

Alex, great work on the new pic as the heading!

Thomes, that sounds like a good plan.

Anonymous said...

i think there was some sarcasm involved in that comment about the steelers and their punter. easy, people.

Anonymous said...

interesting article off the Pens' website about the possibility of the public buying the team as shareholders, as opposed to reloctation.

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/penguins/s_496918.html

i know i'd thrown my $ on the table.

-Eric

tiffany said...

"Tiffany, u have me convinced that you are Pensblog's answer to Adam Sandler."
--Jon, that comment had me laughing so hard. I'm truly honored that you, Karri, Rachel, and of course, The Pensblog Staff, liked it. You are the reason I do what I do...

And now for something completely different:

Nick, thanks for the explanation of the "magic numbers." That really helped and cleared things up for me.

P.S. I'm only commenting now because I slept in and then I was out basically all day. ;)

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