Saturday, March 24, 2007

Jossy Semi-steals The Show. Pens WIN.

Huge game this afternoon.
Nothing like waking up at noon and knowing a Pens game is on at 1:00.
Thibault getting the start.
A nice chance for Thibault to gain the support of the home fans.

Early on, not a lot to talk about.
Everyone was trying to find a reason to hate the Thrashers.

Talbot gets douched in the face with an errant stick.
It draws blood, but no penalty.

The Pens working really hard.
Roberts gets a nice shot off in the slot. Malkin farts with it in front of the net.
And guess who's there.

Just your friendly neighborhood garbage man.

The Pens were dropping like flies; first Armstrong.
Colby sacrifices himself and blocks a shot with the inside of his right knee.
You worry about Colby...but then you think about the PK unit.

Speaking of the PK unit, Malkin goes to the box on the next shift.

Out of nowhere, Viktor Kozlov gets sprung on a head-man pass.
Thibault comes up big with a stop.

The Pens start cycling, and Recchi takes an Alexei Zhitnik elbow to the head.
And this isn't Long Island, so that means it's a penalty.
Recchi's helmet flies off. 200 people are blinded from the baldness.

Come on, Mark. Let it go.

The Pens can't get anything on the powerplay.
Ouellet was outside the 15-foot radius around the net, so a nice one-timer chances goes for naught.

Keith Tkachuk came out this week and said play in the NHL is getting dirty.
So what does he do?
Spears/hooks Talbot because Talbot won a faceoff against him.
Talbot fights Tkachuck. No Comment.

Sutton tries to job Gary Roberts at the end of the first.
Is he serious? Who wants to do that?

................................. = Glorious
Chat during the games.

The second period brought Colby Armstrong-Gumby comparisons.
I've never seen Gumby block a shot from point-blank range.

Gumby didn't have a penis.

The Pens get sent onto the powerplay.
Kari Lehtonen stones Christensen on the doorstep.
The powerplay ends without fanfare.
The Pens power play is as hot right now as the mom from the Dodge Minivan commerical.
(*Note: She is Google-proof, her name is Nicole Greenwood but there are no pics of her)
Who cares -- she looks like trash anyway.

Back to the game.

The next shift, Laraque-Staal-Malone put the Yellow Jersey and cycle better than Greg Lemond and generate some nice chances.

He knows it.

The action started picking up.
Malkin gets it out to Whitney who sneaks in, uses great vision, and sets up a nice play for Christensen, but no dice.
Hovercraft Lehtonen would have nothing of it.

Halfway through the second, BGL wants to drop the gloves with Michael Boulton.

Don't laugh.
Your mom wanted his balls in her mouth in the '80s.

4-on-4 action commences after BGL and Boulton go to the box with 2-minute minors for jobbin around.

Melichar and Gonchar crap on themselves and give Kovalchuk the puck in the slot, alone.
But the Sphincter Boy misses the net. Who does that.

Soon thereafter, Roberts-Malkin-Ouellet put the Yellow Jersey on and start draining Atlanta's d-men.
It culminated in Ouellet getting off a nice shot from the faceoff dot, but Atlanta goalie Kari Lehtonen makes a nice save.

Finally, we can use "Atlanta" and "save" in the same sentence.
It still hurts.

Alexei Zhitnik is a mess. He hooks Sid, and the Pens go on the powerplay again.
The Pens generate a lot of chances, but no dice.
Nice to see Therrien changed up the powerplay units a little, too. Roberts gets some time with the big boys.


Apparently, Atlanta coach Bob Hartley said something about the ref's mom.
A surprise power play for the Pens in the third.
Nothin doin.

Pens Nation holds their breath as Rob Eaton is shook up.

How mud is Alexei Zhitnik? Holding Ryan Malone's stick. What a stupid hockey player.
Seriously. Then he goes to the box shaking his head, like he doesn't know what he did.

Crosby didn't feel like scoring today.

Then one of the two known defensemen on the Pens has a terrible shift.
He couldn't get the handle on a one-time shot. Then he goes into the defensive zone and makes a horrible, blind clearing attempt right to a Thrasher.
The ageless Scott Mellanby finds the rebound.
We'll stop talking about them after this statement: Melichar and Scoods have not made a mistake like that all season.
But Whitney scores some big-time goals, so he is excused.

So here we are yet again, we had to head down the stretch in a tight game.

You could feel the vomit coming.

Jordan Staal has fallen off the pace he set for himself recently.
But wait.
Staal turns the puck into one of those bouncy balls you'd buy in the machines outside of Hills Department Store.
It gets past Kari Lehtonen.
Cheap goal.
2-1 Pens.
Did anyone think Staal was laughing at Lehtonen then trash-talking the Atlanta bench?

Nevertheless, yet another huge goal for Jordan Staal.

All right. Time was winding down.
Before you knew it, there were two minutes left in the game.
The Pens travel back in time and find the 1-4 delay.
Tkachuk jobbing around to buy time and Bob Errey doesn't like it.

46.3 seconds left.
Bob Hartley has to change his tampon.

One heart-stopping moment in that final craziness, but the Pens hold on for the win.
Thibault loves it.

  • Crosby: ...
  • Malkin: 1 A
  • Thibault: Deposited himself in National City Bank.
  • Shots: Thrashers - 26 |||| Pens - 28
  • Powerplay: Thrashers ( 0 for 3 ) Pens ( 0 for 5 )
  • Jocelyn Thibault is on fire.
  • How many huge goals has Jordan Staal scored this season?
  • Does Atlanta even know what's going on?
  • The new lines looked effective.
  • Powerplay needs something.
  • Rex was on PCP




If you consider all five teams that are jostling for 7th and 8th, the Pens magic number is 5.
Told you, it gets confusing.
Baseball is much simpler.


Kovalchuk - Jason Schiffhauer


Tee said...

the gamedaychat chatroom is money, everyone should be there tomorrow.

rachel said...

Staal scores:


Solid Hills reference! I always used to go there to get the free popcorn, haha.

Rex was definitely on some of Max's acid.

rachel said...

I'll be joining the chatroom tomorrow :)

karri said...

I love your posts! You guys are so entertaining!

"Gumby didn't have a penis." - hahaha

Re: Michael Boulton - OMG - hahahahaha

"Recchi's helmet flies off. 200 people are blinded from the baldness." - awwwww, but hahahahaha

Kidding aside..."Whitney he is excused" and "Melichar and Scoods have not made a mistake like that all season" - You're absolutely right! The team is who they are...I'm not going to be an armchair coach or s**t on any team member again!

♪tiffany♪ said...

Haha....definitely. We're gonna have to get Unink ;)

Staff, GLORIOUS post once again.
"ٮ" I used to get my bouncy balls at Foodland. Poor Gumby, though....

Jon, what brand of beer?? ^ٮ^

Rachel, can't wait to see you in the chat tomorrow. I'll be there too!

Antonette said...

My grandma worked at Hills. That place kicked some ass.

Decent game, some weird calls by the refs, but that's to be expected. I wished that BGL would have gotten to fight, but it's okay, his huge hits made up for it.

I'd be all in for the chat tomorrow, but I'll be at a fencing tournament. Go Pens!

Anonymous said...

I was at the Mellon today, great atmosphere. Between Rex, Roberts and BGL I thought Georgia's population was going to drop by a few before the end of this one.

Boulton was fucking with people all game, but i dont know if they showed it on tv or not, as soon as BGL confronted him and was like "c'mon let's go" ready to drop his gloves, Boulton tucked tail and ran. pussy.

sutton is like 12 feet tall and is as valuable as a midget tree trimmer without a ladder. mellanby is a joke.

colby and talbot are indestructable. you take the same sitautions, 2 different guys from different teams, and they would have sat in the locker room for the rest of the game. not these guys, they were back on the ice each within 5 minutes of leaving. great to see.


dying alive said...

Comments from the game today:

My seats were three rows back from the glass. That hit in the first period that knocked Whitney's helmet off right in front of us was insane. I nearly shat myself.

Laraque was doing everything he could to get Boulton to drop his gloves, but this Boulton is just as much of a big girl as the other one, apparently. The crowd was going nuts egging them on.

Cotton candy vendor guy was on some of Max's acid today. COTTONCANDYHERE!

As we were leaving the arena, Bobby Errey walked right in front of us and got into his car. Everyone was yelling his name and he smiled and waved. He drives a white GMC Envoy. I expected a Benz or something.

Hills Department store always smelled like old hot dogs.

Scoods made some very good defensive plays, got no recognition.

Staff said...

the pretzels you got when you left hills were the shit.

i echo the chatroom sentiment.
good times in there.
i'm back on cable internet now.
sorry i got kicked off.
calls coming in left and right.


Justin said...

hills and michael boltons balls all in one recap
SOLID once again

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Hills had an awesome toy section.

I got a Macho Man wrestling buddy and a Transformer whose head turned into a small robot there.

Then I got a super pretzel and a slushy on the way out.

Back to the game, T-Bo has been insane lately. I was always very critical of him since we signed him, but right now he's proving me wrong and I'm happy to let him do it.

Fleury's won a lot of games, but even in his wins, MAF let in a ton of goals. It was like the early-90s (no I'm not bringing up the early-90s as an excuse to mention that Crash Test Dummies song "mmm mmm mmm"... fuck I just did!!) when if Barasshole gave up 6, we'd just score 7 or 8.

So do you guys think we may actually have a goalie controversy come playoff time?

I personally don't see T-Bo performing on a night-to-night basis as well as he does in relief of Fleury so I say no.

But wow, it's easy to make a case for T-Bo after the last few games he's played.

I'm not getting too down on Fleury however. I do realize this is his first full NHL season as "the man".

Tee said...

adam, no problemo, you were golden while you were there. Way to use the gumby and Recchi's bald head conversations in the post.

Rachel, the chatroom is the place to be... all the cool kids are doing it. See you there tomorrow.

Antonette, my grandma worked at Hills too. She was the fitting room lady at the Butler Hills for like 10 years. And while we're on the topic of Hills, how money was the Virtualboy display with Wario3D while your mom was shopping? I loved that thing.

Dying Alive, did you know cotton candy guy has his own myspace?
If I were a chick I'd totally sympathy fuck him because of what he means to Pittsburgh sports. How awesome is it that he has Cottoneye Joe as his song?

But for real though, all you guys better be there for the chatroom tomorrow. It's good times. We spent 10 mintes+ on cotton candy guy and a good 5 minutes on Steve McKenna and Jay Caufield and their inability to stay on their feet. It's like Max's on Saved by The Bell, Zack Morris would totally hang out there.

Jon said...

I don't think a goalie controversy is the worst thing to have, it means that one of them is playing balls-out. And yes, that old hot dog smell takes me back, to a time when you would pick out toys and clothes, and have to wait weeks to months (depending on your parents gross income) and then you'd get them. Friggin' layaway...
Tiff, I would say Rolling Rock, even though it's not made in the glass-lined tanks of Old Latrobe anymore. That stuff's like candy to me.
I hope to get in on the chat tomorrow, I get off work a couple hours before the game, perhaps a Red Bull is in order.
Doo Bee Dooby Doooooo

Jon said...

Oh, and before we were rich enough for cable TV and with it MTV, I remember for some reason there was a television showing the making of Michael Jackson's Thriller at my Hills in Pleasant Hills. And before we had cable, the only place u could see music videos was Friday Night Videos on NBC late night. HOW DID WE GET BY?!?!?

Justin said...

friday night videos
that was also around the time of WWF "saturday nights main event"

loralei said...

OK... I'm going to admit it.. its my fault.. My Colby Armstrong bobblehead fell off my tv last night and his right leg broke off. My boyfriend laughed at me for a minute while I made a sad face and then I propped him up on my bookcase for safe keeping. Well, needless to say, there must be some kind of voodoo power in those bobbleheads cause then Colby takes a shot off the right knee (i.e. the same leg that broke off) I immediately sought out some superglue to put him back together. As the superglue was setting and I was trying to pull my fingers appart without losing several layers of skin, he reemerged from the locker room. My boyfriend was speechless and I think he has now also developed a crush on Colby as the Bruins suck to high heaven. (Also let me mention that the Bruins played at one today too. We watched the Penguin game and did not give the Bruins a second thought as the aforementioned Bruins de la Boston sucko mucho. I will soon conquer this entire city and turn them into Penguin fans.) Colby is now mended and I promise not to break any more bobbleheads.

Anonymous said...

game update: devils losing to panthers 2-1 in the 2nd.

this is huge.

♦tiffany♦ said...

Jon, Rolling Rock it is. Where do I send it??

Loralei, LOL....that's hilarious. "Colby Armstrong sat on a wall. Colby Armstrong had a great fall. All the Pens' doctors and all the Pens' fans couldn't put Colby together again." Happy to hear that you put Colby Armstrong back together again, though. ‹(•¿•)›

And to everyone coming in the gamedaychat chatroom.....YOU ALL ROCK!!!

Derek said...

I must say I wasn't expecting the chat to be anything.. but I really enjoyed it. I like getting on their on the intermissions. Just a really good time.

I am still shocked that people think that dodge minivan mom is hot.
I delayed the post 30 minutes looking for a pic of her.

She is google proof

Karri said...

New Jersey/Florida are tied 2-2, end of 2nd.

Thornton has an assist for San Jose, S**T.

FritoWill said...

say it with me

F Barry Bonds

ok got that out of the way. Gumby didn't have the penis but he always had pokey. We all know why.

i missed that gameday chat, and will tomorrow. Man, i really would like that.

dying alive said...

Ha ha, I can't believe cotton candy guy has his own MySpace! I had seen the YouTube videos before, I love that dude.

I remember getting clothes on layaway. You'd put them on layaway and by the time you picked them up they'd be out of style. I don't think Dodge minivan mom is very attractive either, but since I'm a hetero woman my opinion is irrelevant.

NJ has tied Florida 3-3. Crap.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

I bought my first six pack of non-Latrobe, Budweiser-brewed Rolling Rock last night.

It tasted like butthole to me.

And it said "Latrobe Brewing Co. St Louis Missouri" on the label.

Plus, on the back they put what used to be on the old bottles in quatation marks to, as they put it, "Honor this great brand"

It just didn't taste the same, and then when I looked at the bottle I got pissed off.

There's a specialty beer place by my apt down here that sells Penn Pilsner though. That stuff is pretty good.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

By the way, for getting straight A's in 2nd grade I got to go to Hills and buy a King Kong Bundy WWF action figure. The big ass rubber kind.

I remember getting mad at my friend and hitting him with it. That thing weighed a lot and I legitimately hurt the poor guy.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Oh, and just so I don't sound like I was some callous, sociopathic child, YES I did feel bad about it!

♦tiffany♦ said...

Louis, HAHA.....

Will, don't worry...there'll be other chatting opportunities. *ٮ*

♦tiffany♦ said...

Hey Louis!! Can you make it to the gamedaychat tomorrow??

Anonymous said...

oh hell the devils beat florida in a shoot-out.

Anonymous said...

I don't want to bust balls because this is my favorite site around, but it would be even better, if instead of congratulating the unbelievably talented writers after every post, on every pun they make, people actually added some jobber analysis/comments. These guys know they do a great job and the 100 of thousands of site visits tell them so...but i love hearing other fans' opinion of the game. Before we Winston Wolfe the staff after every Oscar the Grouch about adding a bit of opinion about the days game. And keep the photoshops coming...Malkin as Champ Kind almost ended me. Go Pens

Justin said...

i still have my heavy rubber hulk hogan action figure
i have a 2 gallon container that i throw my quarters in
hulk hogan is the keeper of the quarters BROTHER!!!!!!!

Justin said...

and no, i didnt plan it that way either, i found it one day and threw it in there and thats where hes been ever since

♦tiffany♦ said...


Anonymous said...

joey t had 2 points tonight, hes starting to get close to sid.

Justin said...

sids gonna teabag the bruins tomorrow....hes been saving up for 3 games

☼ tiffany ☼ said...

Yeah, I hope so. We all want 'em to score, and you know he wants to I guess we'll see.

C'mon Sid!!

dying alive said...

Sid will have a big day tomorrow against the Bruins, who are just hapless at this point. Maybe he'll have mercy on them and stop trying once he reaches five points.

mike said...

I am pretty sure gumby could just form his penis from other body parts if the need arose...Just a thought.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

What's gameday chat?

I dunno if I can. I rarely get to watch the games down here, but lets you listen to them for free. So I don't know if I'd be much fun if I wasn't actually watching the game.

But at least on radio you get Mike Lange. Best in the business.

Plus I have XM in my car.

I only had two big rubber action figures, Bundy and Mean Gene Okerlund. I think I got them right when they stopped making those kind. But I had an assload of the little plastic ones that did spring-action punches and shit.

I think the King Kong Bundy rubber action figure in a pillow-case is an actual prison weapon.

Tee said...

Louis Lipps,
Do you have broadband? I might be able to hook you up with a stream of the game today. The chat is fun regardless, hope to see ya there.

Jon said...

And do u go to the actual 1059thex website to get the radio call of the game? I've tried that, but I get nuttin'...nuttin' I tell u!
And the worst thing about those dolls is when the all the paint wore off, and they were just big naked wrestlers with no genitalia...or as the spanish say, henitalia
Tiffany, instead of sending me beer, next time you enjoy one just pour one out for your homey holding it down in 29palms, CA with all the frilled rens and coyote puppies

Spencemo said...

I miss Hills department stores...Ames bought them out here, and then promptly went out of business. Our Hills is now a Best Buy...And it still gets a shitload of my money...

Steve in Denver said...

Hills...wholly crap. I went there in the early 80's and got in line for like 3 hours to meet Jack Lambert's & get his auto, and instead they sent some cracker and JT Thomas...I only remember his name because at 12 I had met my first crazy cokehead freak. Rick James had nothin' on him, bitches.

For today's game, I'm going to play my own audio at home for between action ambiance. I'm starting with "Crazy Train" every time Roberts steps on the ice. Any other ideas?

I need to call my PA deadhead friends to make an acid delivey to the Pens locker room, too.

Kyle said...

Jesus christ, NHL on NBC sucks so bad. Worst commentators, never show the Penguins in HD. Fucking stupid. When they play the bruins, i usually get to watch them on the New England Sports Network. Their hockey games are great and the best HD ive seen. Well, at least NBC is actually letting us know how much time is left for powerplays......assclowns

thomes08 said...

these refs are killing me!

But the pens are killing Boston!!!

Seriously though, how many power plays did the Bruins pay for today? That Malkin one that just happened is the most ridiculous.

Also doesn't it seem like the pens are being held and interfered with a lot with no calls?

as long as we win


oh, funny how boston has been on the power play for 46 of the first 20 minutes with no goals, and the pens have 3 pp goals in like 1 minute of pp time. Love it.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Sweet, I just woke up half drunk and game's on NBC!

And we're beating ass.

Where's the gameday chat thing?

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

This is an ass beating of epic proportions.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

And NBC just switched to the Rangers v. Islanders game.

Thanks assholes.

Rick said...

Is it just me, or did the NBC call Malone "Greg Malone"?

~tiffany~ said...

Rick, they did say greg malone.

Louis Lipps, next time you go to nhl.....then click on the Pens logo.

Technically I'm not old enough to drink, but for problem. ;)

And last, but not least.....THE PENGUINS ROCK AND SO DOES THE GAMEDAYCHAT!!!!!

Congrats on the shutout, Fleury, congrats to Sid for getting 3 pts, and congrats to Eaton for coming back today & kickin' a**!

rachel said...

That game was amazing and the gameday chat was sweet, too!

There's a movie called Bugsy on now, haha


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