Sunday, February 11, 2007

A Tale Of Two Mullets


This is the story of two mullets.



This photo was taken in 1992, a year following Jagr's debut in Pittsburgh.
During his shifts, his mullet would create air turbulence above the Mellon Arena, causing airliners to crash.
By his second season, Pittsburgh International finally picked up on it.

In 1993, he adopted the Chinese look.

In the 1994-95 season, Jagr is starting to show signs of back pain from the weight of his mullet.

In the same year, Jagr stars in a soap opera on Czech Television during the lockout.

1997 was when it started getting a little crazy even by a Mulletseour's standards.
It's illegal in 9 states.

1999 witnessed the end of the mullet, and eventually, the end of Jaromir Jagr's career as a Penguin.



In 1986, the first locks of hair were starting to protrude.

Many NHL historians will argue that the 1987 Canada Cup catapulted Lemieux's career to the next level.
His mullet had two assists in the tournament.

Pictured here at the 1988-89 All-Star Game in Edmonton, the mullet was beginning to subside due to Lemieux's speed ripping his hair from the root.

One year later, Mario dazzles his hometown fans at the 1989-90 All-Star Game, scoring four goals.
His mullet had sex with three Mexicans after the game.

During the 1990-91 season.
He knows what he's got.

Here is Mario at the 1995-96 All-Star Game, with a mullet that kills you if you look at it.

As a player, if you looked over during warm-ups and saw Lemieux looking at you like this with the slicked-back mullet, you knew it was over.

When he returned on December 27, 2000, the mullet was left at home.
He was a business man now.



Bob Errey - Phil Bourque - Paul Coffey - Frank Pietrangelo

Luc Robitaille

Jordan Staal - M.I.T.

Sidney Crosby - M.I.T.

Mark Eaton


Scott said...

lol the mark eaton mullet...if i had a g/f i would let mark eaton hit off her

Anonymous said...

If Eaton grew a mullet the world would explode.

They went back to the old skating penguin logo, now if only Crosby, Malkin, and Staal would grow those babies out, we would bring back the cup. The mullet has amazing powers.


kdubois03 said...

lol. thats good stuff.

Teej said...

Recchi's 1990-91 mullet should've gotten some press...

Not only did Lemieux's mullet score more than I ever did in my 9th grade roller hockey league, but I heard it was brought up during the investigations of the Challenger tragedy...

Staff said...

Teej, we couldn't find a good shot of it.

Bake said...

MIT-mullet in training. I love it. As Adam will tell you, the search for late 80s, early 90s hockey mullets on the internet is one sure to keep you laughing for hours on end.

kate said...

oh, wow, the eaton mullet...

Washington85 said...

Eaton just told his hair to grow amullet the minute before his team picture was taken and .0009 seconds later there it was

AJ said...

Any truth to the rumor that Max Talbot recently cut his hair because the guys were calling him the Geico Caveman?

Two more Penguin mullets... Patrick Lalime and Kevin Hatcher.

Hatcher still has his... I know this because he changed my oil the other day at the Valvoline on Ohio River Blvd.

Staff said...


Kevin Hatcher jokes never get old

Andrew said...

I've been growing my hair out for awhile now...and it's powers seem to be helping the Pens...if me growing a mullet is what it takes for the Pens to win, I am so in.

Christina said...

mark eaton has a mullet. he just chooses to make it invisible so that the rest of the world doesn't kill themselves over its incomparable beauty and badass-ness.


Anonymous said...

If you ask me, the real crime against hockey fashion was that terrible JOFA helmet. Planet Spaceball meets American Standard toilet bowls.
Back to mullets, Rob Brown had a unique look, a balding mullet (bullet?).

Anonymous said...

The balding mullet is the "skullet." You can consult this website to identify types of mullets:

Will said...

if any of you guys listen to DVE you have heard this.. the tino martino clib talking to Ian Moran.

But its a proven fact that when Mario had his mullet he was the greatest force on the planet, once he cut his mullet he began to have his back was the loss of weight of the mullet that caused them.

But for Jagr it was a little different, he didn't begin to have health problems. He actually just turned into the biggest ass in the history of hockey.

Therefore you can conclude that the mullet IS hockey gold. And these Pens should grow those flowing flocks of hockey genius.

the best line of that bit is this and i only wish i could have come up with this myself.

"Remember kids that Joey Mullen is only one letter away from a mullet."

Teej said...

like Andrew, I haven't cut my hair in a while either. Though it's no shade of a mullet, since I last got my hair cut, the Pens are 12-2-3.

what does that tell me? well, a couple things:
1. i have a damn good memory
2. i have too much time on my hands

Andrew said...

i haven't shaved since they started this run. hopefully i woln't have to for a while either. as far as the mullet, i just noticed the other day i'm starting to get one so i need to get it cut. last time i did get my hair cut was in like november.


ps - Parros has a super mullet. and a porn stache. he'd be perfect for us.

Tee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tee said...

How on earth do you overlook this beast from the far east?

I got a Jim Paek autograph at the same Hills store that Orlando Merced signed my little league glove. How early 90's Pittsburgh am I?

Will - that is one of my favorite DVE bits EVER. My friend managed to find an mp3 of it and we listened to it in the parking lot before every game we went to last year.

CDY said...

If we're talking mullets, shouldn't you just post the '91-'92 team picture?

tiffany said...

To the staff and fellow bloggers:
Oh my gosh....these comments had me laughing sooo hard!!! Just the sight of Mark Eaton almost turned my hair into a mullet. :-D

And Andrew,
Thanks for clarifying which one of you it was I responded to earlier - the "good" = )

Anonymous said...

fleury needs to grow a mullet, then it will be impossible to score a single goal on us, especially with marky mark back there at the blue line.

Tee said...

Mark Eaton has a mullet, but its on his horse penis.

Washington85 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Washington85 said...

a quick photoshop job i did for the game wendsday...

J Ruutu greater

Alex said...

I talked to Mark Cuban tonight at the Pitt basketball game and i told him to buy the pirates and he said back to me "yeah and then pens too, theyre rockin right now"
possibility he is in town to work on a deal to buy the pens????

rachel said...

Geno didn't have a mullet because Russia wouldn't allow performance enhancers, but now in Pittsburgh...

PittCheMBA said...

Do not underestimate the power of the Mullet! Great Post Dudes!

tiffany said...

"Geno didn't have a mullet because Russia wouldn't allow performance enhancers."

Oh gosh.....great comment...and what a funny Malkin picture! You made me laugh. :)

The things these guys have to do to win the cup......for the love of the game.

Oh and AJ,
I didn't hear anything about the Max Talbot/Geico Caveman thing, but even if it isn't's still hysterical. :D
I love Mad Max and the rest of the team.

Let's go Pens!

Anonymous said...

Talbot is safe...

AO is the real slim shady Geico Caveman, can I get an AMEN?

tiffany said...

Now everytime I think of/see Alex Ovechkin, I hear this comment by the staff:
"Picture: AO -- stunned after seeing his girlfriend making out with WPXI's Rich Walsh in the stands."

You guys had me doubled over I was laughing so much......I'm laughing right now. :D

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

I know I'm probably late on this, but I can't sleep and that picture of Malkin with the mullet made me wake my girlfriend up and now she's pissed.

But fuck it, that was WELL worth it.

But seriously, finding late 80s/early 90s mullet pics is like shooting fish in a barrell.

But if you think Barry Melrose has a mullet now, I saw some footage of the 93 Canadians v. Kings Stanley Cup final when he coached L.A. Wow, down to his mid-back and IRONING BOARD straight.

tiffany said...

Oh man.....that's bad. Not even Mark Eaton should have a mullet THAT long.

On the subject of Malkin, though....I know this isn't a new clip, and it's not really supposed to be funny, but the music made me crack up!! Don't know if anyone saw it, but if you're curious, check it out.

Go to:

Then click on:

Then Go to:
Audio & Video

Click on:
More> under "Off-Ice Features"

And scroll down until you find:
"Evgeni Malkin Preview Video (4/4)"

rachel said...

Glad everyone liked the Malkin picture!

Tiffany, that clip is great! I started cracking up. With the music I just started thinking of DVE's Malkin audio diaries and started laughing more!

tiffany said...

I don't know what it is about the song that makes me laugh - maybe I'm just simple. It WAS kinda late when I watched maybe that had something to do with it. Good to know I'm not the ONLY one who thought it was funny,

Anonymous said...

There is already a facebook group dedicated to the subject:

Crosby/Malkin should grow mullets in the style of mid-90s Lemieux/Jagr


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