Monday, September 25, 2006

During the calm before the Penguins season storm, and with all the fanboys jumping off the Steelers Bandwagon (I like the Steelers more than anyone, but we're just more concerned with the Pens right now), I've decided to release my list of top 5 hockey movies of all time.



Tonight through Friday...join the fun. Leave some comments. Laugh with us.

Drum roll please...




Number 5:






Well this movie is great for three reasons:

1. Its happens in Pittsburgh

2. Watching it can remind you why the Penguins are in their current money crisis. I mean, we really could have used the money that Howard Baldwin spent for this movie.

3. This movie provides us with a running joke everytime we walk into the Mellon Arena.

If you don't make at least three Sudden Death jokes when you're in the Mellon Arena, then you don't know whats going on.

When I was at practice two weeks ago, someone said the ice was bad. Leading the way for someone else to say " Yea it's because of that helicopter that fell on the ice." You can't put a price on these comments. It has become a part of going to Penguin games.


PLOT

The plot line has more holes in it than OJ's Alibi. But guess what, the Juice is loose baby.



The only thing they got right is police near the Hill District.........BOOM. Yea I said it.



Anyway

The year is 1993.
And Darren McCord (Jean Claude Van Damme) takes his two kids to a Chicago Blackhawks-Pittsburgh Penguins Stanley Cup Final game, unbeknownst to him that the sports arena has been taken over by terrorists, who are holding the Vice President of the United States, as well as many other high-ranking officials hostage. Darren later becomes the only one who is aware of the situation. And, the stakes are raised when the terrorists announce that they will blow-up the building at the end of the game. Therefore, Darren must not only subdue the terrorists, but postpone the game and send it to overtime.

Hmm. Where to start?

Why couldn't they have had Jean Claude Van Damme develop a Pittsburgh accent?
Could you imagine him saying something like "Yinz the Iglooze gohn blow up n' at. Call mare Murphy."
I would watch this movie everyday. I'll pay Van Damme 50 bucks to re-record his lines. I know he needs the money.

Surreal scenes...
1. Van Damme playing goalie ... no one would notice this?.. In case you wondered, Tom Barrasshole wouldn't release his name rights to this movie. Can't blame him.

2. A shootout in the Locker room. Where was Brian Engloom? Darren Pang? Someone would have heard this right?
Could you imagine Darren Pang:
" Holy jumpin', boys!! Someone just got lit up by an AK47."

3. "Lucky" Luc Robitaille's thrilling goal. The longest breakaway ever. I really enjoyed when Robitaille played here. But I wish they would have let Dave Roche score that goal.

Other facts:
The movie made $20 million at the Box Office.
Mike Lange and Paul Steigerwald should have won Oscars for their performances.
Apparently there is a beginning of the movie where Van Damme fails to rescue a girl from some building, and retires from the fire department in disgrace. If I would have watched this movie on VHS rather than DVD I would have known this.

Tomorrow's movie
Mystery Alaska...

1 comments:

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