Tuesday, March 4, 2008

March of the Penguins

MARCH 4, 2007:


Seems like forever ago.

Roughly a week later, the Pens were saved...

By this guy:

**Warning #1**

This video is more '80s than Teen Wolf

**Warning #2**
The first 50 seconds of this video will change your life.

[Thanks to Jason from NYC]




:: Courtesy of Kukla's Korner, one of the best hockey news and rumors sites there is.
[ Evgeni Malkin's Conference Call Transcript ]

:: Darren Eliot dominates a Penguin article. [ SI.com ]

Everyone wants to see what this team looks like fully assembled.
Shero smiled broadly when I put that premise to him and he offered a sly, "We'll see."


:: The return to Mellon Arena was hard for Army and Crusher. [ PG ]

-- Matt Freed/Post-Gazette --

:: The Pens have changed some game times. [ PG ]

:: Malkin was named the NHL's #1 star for February. [ NHL.com ]

If MVP talk doesn't start picking up momentum, someone will die.

-- Vinny K. --

:: Speaking of which,
Crosby is with the Pens during their current three-game road trip.
[ NHL.com ]

A nationally televised game in Washington on Sunday, March 9,
is looming as the return of Sid and Hossa.


Steve Haber brings you a Penguins-themed skin for iGoogle. [ Theme ]

[screenshot.<span class=


Took out Charlie, added Hossa.
Turned standings into Eastern Conference.


Need a band for an upcoming event?
This band would be pretty solid. [Airborne]

Especially because of the lead singer:

If you're getting married, is there one reason you can think of why Jeff Jimmerson shouldn't be singing at your wedding?

Could you imagine a stirring rendition of the Star Spangled Banner before you are introduced at your reception?

We'd pay $15,000 easy to see this.

[Thanks to Jamisen from the Southside]



A possible cat fight may be happening
between local media personality Tim Benz and LetsGoPens.com?

We saw this story go down on [LGP] a few days ago.

Here is what happened.

From all accounts, last week Tim Benz said something on his morning show about an "Anonymous" Penguins player saying they were concerned about Michel Therrien breaking up the Sykora-Malkin-Malone line.

Someone posted that on [LGP] and it was determined the player was clearly Ryan Malone.

Well, word got back to the Penguins that Benz SAID it was Malone or whatever.
And Benz wasn't happy about it.

Benz was also critical of LGP because he said he posted something about Hossa maybe being acquired by the Pens, but it was shot down.

It was determined it was may be this [post]

Benz's name may have been "PitBreezer23,"
which is is the worst internet handle of the new millennium.

Either way, it all really isn't a big deal.

We just think it is surprising people actually listen to Tim Benz's radio show.



The image “http://www.icebullshockey.com/chris/nhltol/logos100/nhl.png” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.
NHL.com received record-breaking traffic to the site on the trade-deadline day. [ KK ]

A.O is your new points leader. 50 goals, too.
The Caps destroy the Bruins. [Cheap Seats]

NHL commercials in the playoffs pump you up, no matter who's in them.
The "Hangin' By A Moment" commercial in those 2001 playoffs broke up marriages.

There will be a commercial this year of Zetterberg walking down the runway and onto the ice of an opposing team's arena. [ Crain's Detroit Business ]

Usually, if your goalie's last name is "Anderson," expect a loss.
But the Panthers gets 53 saves from him in a victory. [ TSN ]

Carey Price lost for the first time since being handed the keys.
San Jose beats Montreal. [Fear the Fin]

Shh. The Wild have snuck past the Flames for first in the Northwest. [ TSN ]

The Oil have won 14 shootouts this season. Sick.
Too bad those are probably their only wins. [ Yahoo ]

Forsberg isn't playing yet. Snore. [ Yahoo ]



The Steelers signed Ben Roethlisberger to an 8-year, $102-million deal.
That's $12.75 million a year.

Back in September, we analyzed the game between the Steelers and 49ers. [ Post ]
We figured how much gameclock time is ACTUALLY spent doing something athletic.

As you can see, the Steelers offense is doing something athletic for 5 minutes a game.
With Willie Parker on your team, half of those are runs, so we can move Ben's time to 2:30.

Roethlisberger "plays" 40 minutes per season.
He will make $318,750 per minute of actual athleticism.
That's $5,312.50 per second.

If we wanted to be toolboxes, we could say that half of that 2:30 is spent watching his receivers catch and run with the ball, which would make his salary breakdown even more vomit-inducing.

Imagine investing millions in a person
whose job description includes being physically and brutally abused.

He needs a bodyguard.

Sign him.

Picture: A fan trying to take back taxpayer's money used to build Heinz Field which, in turn, is being used to pay Ben Roethlisberger unrealistic money.

Do we hate the Steelers? No.
Are we sour hockey fans jealous of the NFL? No.

Do we religiously watch every Steeler game? Yes.
Do we notice how ridiculous the NFL is? Yes.
Were some of those jobs unwarranted and not backed by rationality? Absolutely.



Commentor Nathan's detective work resulted in figuring the Penguins hold the tiebreaker with Buffalo.

The Buffalo loss on Sunday thus shrinks the number by 3 from the previous 25.

Reminder: It won't be factored with Buffalo all the time.
It's factored with who is currently the 9th seed.

This number theorizes that every team in the Eastern Conference will win the rest of their games, which obviously won't happen considering all the head-to-head games.

If the playoffs started today:

[Thanks to Meesh ]

No one is mentally prepared for a Penguins/Flyers seven-game series.


Go Pens


Cody said...

Any early Mario video is guaranteed to send shivers down my spine. The man, the myth, the overly 80's'd out Ferrari driver!


Let's go Pens!

the dude said...

the "X" morning show itself just sucks. vinny might be the biggest tool of them all. especially at penguin games when he is the guest dj.

blackngold66 said...

This website and eating McDonald's breakfast for dinner:

The only things that make working the night shift tolerable.

sfc72388 said...

Solid post. It makes it so much easier to wake up at 5:15 every morning when I get to see quality 80's Mario or someone jobbing the hell out of Big Ben.

And a Pens/Flyers playoff series would be unreal.


J.S. said...

I believe Virgil is available for his services. Didn't I see somewhere he is living in Pittsburgh and is a math teacher?

sh0ez said...

Staff, just so you know, Hossa has Malkin's stats in Flashblog.

Another sweet post. I never tried iGoogle. To be honest, I thought it was something to do with Apple. Heh. Glad I found out, though. It has come in handy already. And that Pens theme is sick.

Insane showing by A.O. and the Caps tonight. I was waiting for him to do something big. He's been bleh lately. Should be a fun game this Sunday. Damn my friends for having tickets.

Firstplaceblog. Let's do this.

Let's Go Pens!

Pensblog Staff said...

flash = stunned

sh0ez said...

Ha ha.

Also, if anyone hasn't figured it out, you can add a gadget to your iGoogle page for tPB.


Just click add. Then your homepage will show the recent posts and you can expand and read them right there on your homepage. Pretty sweet.

onesizedrummer said...

gotta love Mario and his automatic seatbelts....hige discount with the auto insurance.

Can you imagine driving to work, seeing Mario next to you at a red light?


Ry said...

I actually own that Mario videotape. Solid to say the least.

I worry for the fate of the world if there is a Pens/Flyers playoff series.

thomes08 said...



What's it called? I used to have it and watch it with my brother all the time. Lost it the day we moved from pittsburgh to indiana.

talk about a bad day

Robert said...

airborne actually played at my little sisters hs graduation party over the summer. they were great. i have a drunk pic with jeff jimmerson that is just incredible

Jonny V said...

Shoez, day-changing comment. What a force.

I would pay to see Mark Madden sit on Tim Benz. He's such a toolbox.

Brando said...


I only get to see two games a year down here in FL, so by-Gary, I hope we win. I'll be up in 302 if any C-South East Edition-Bloggers are there. I might rock the WWGRD shirt, but the Sid shirt is always good for a win. Decisions decisions.

Stoosh said...

Thoughts, dudes...

1. What the hell was up with traffic in Pittsburgh this morning? Holy crap, all it's doing is raining and people are driving like we're stuck in a Siberian blizzard. Me = stunned.

2. I've been a Roethlisberger fan since his last year in college and I hoped the Steelers would draft him. But I laugh my ass off every time the PB Staff puts up the interception montage. Awesome!

3. After watching that Caps-Bruins game last night, it bears repeating...it's amazing to me that so many Caps fans seem to spend more time obsessing over Crosby than they do supporting their own superstar.

4. Something else I realized when watching that game...

Watch Claude Julien's facial expressions - particularly the one he's making in the KFC photoshop - and tell me he doesn't somewhat resemble David Koechner.

5. The three worst teams in the Eastern Conference are all in the Southeast Division. As it stands right now, your five lottery teams would be the Kings, the Blues and three-fifths of the Southeast Division (TB, FLA, ATL). Welcome to hell, Steve Stamkos.

6. Bad night for Ottawa in Anaheim last night. Alfie left the game with a rib injury or something like that. Murray got tossed from the game for complaining to the refs that they were letting Anaheim get away with too much stuff around the net and on the boards. Apparently, the Sens like to push, but hate it when a team pushes back harder.

7. Thought Madden brought up an excellent point on his show yesterday. He said when Sid and Hossa come back, he'd pair them up with Max Talbot on the other wing, and then keep Malone-Malkin-Sykora together. Talbot plays a much bigger physical game than most guys his size do, and his willingness to come to Gonchar's defense against Ottawa should speak volumes.

Jonny V said...

Wow, that line combo that Madden came up with is just crazy enough to work! He's a genious.

And to expand on the sickening contract numbers, look no further than the NBA. Keith Van Horn was retired for two years. The Mavericks brought him out of retirement (paying him 4.4 million dollars) just to include him in a trade for Jason Kidd. And a number of years ago, the Sixers "bought out" Chris Webber's last two years of his contract, in effect paying him not to pay, for 25 million dollars. All sports are this bad, with hockey being the least offensive. And I hope it stays that way.

Brett Favre retired.

J.S. said...

Great, 8 more years of Interceptionberger. With that sorry excuse of an O-line we now have, I hope he likes being on his ass for the next few seasons.

I'm stunned that the Roethlisberger/turnover pic wasn't used.

J.S. said...

Fav-ruh retired again?

Me = not stunned, not in the least.

Stoosh said...

JONNY V - Benz is a whiny little twerp. He seems like the kind of guy who 1) got his ass kicked a lot when he was a kid and 2) would join you and a date for drinks at a bar, and then hit on your date when you got up to get her another drink from the bar or something.

Stoosh said...

Favre retired, eh?

Can someone please put Peter King on suicide watch?

Sean said...

First, Charlie looks kind of like Rod Woodson in the football uniform.

Second, Ben is not going to see $102 million dollars. I'm assuming you know how NFL contracts work and are just making a point, but still.

Third, it sucks that Crosby and Hossa will be out on the 6th. Panthers suck balls, and pretty much everybody at the games got free tickets from somebody. No exception here.

Every time I hear the name "Hossa" I think of the lead singer for Quarashi.

Matt Gajtka said...


I'm getting married in September, and I've joked more than a few times with my brother that we should arrange for Jimmerson to sing the National Anthem and Oh Canada before the reception.

So...about that offer of $15,000...are you game? haha

I'm pretty sure I could convince the future Mrs. Gajtka to allow it. Also, the reception is in Grand Rapids, Michigan, a pretty fair hockey town in its own right.

Also, regarding Big Ben, a lost a TON of respect after I saw that picture of him and R.J. Umberger with a personalized Roethlisberger Flyers jersey. It was too much to take!

wilsmith said...

Man, I need to get on some Big Ben p-shops.

Can't wait for tonight, don't know why. God I love this game.

Go Pens.

Dr. Turkleton said...

anyone catch the sweet spin-a-rama-ish goal that Brian Campbell scored v. the Habs last night?....not as pretty as Denny Savards back in the day, but pretty close...

The SJ PxP jobber,Randy Hahn,in addition to being a bit over the top on that goal call...gave the Pens ZERO love during the game [not that he SHOULD be giving the Pens any love, but at least get your facts right for crissake]. On a few occasions when saying that even if the Habs lose, they will still be on top of the East & 1 point ahead of the Sens who, at the time were losing to ANA


Center Ice + good West coast matchups = no beauty sleep & consequently, creating a crabass at work this morning

yesterday's post = memoriesblog
outstanding work, fellas !!!!!!


Mike Georger said...

burnside pointed out that the last non playoff hart winner was mario in 87/88. that was the season gretz went down hurt and finished 19 points back. so unless ovie gets close to that gap with the caps missing the playoffs he shouldnt be mentioned.
whats more valuable: a player who has taken the league by storm to lead his team to the top of the conferencr, or a sniper who misses the playoffs. I DONT KNOW

canaanregulatesblog said...

Just saying...

When Airborne entered Jays Sports Bar, Pops = stunned every time.

Mike Costa said...

I Have That Mario Video. I Got It Years Ago, I've Been Looking For It Forever.

Pensblog Staff said...

I still break out the Pops impersonation shifting my weight from leg to leg, bobbing my head, and pushing my glasses up.

My goal still is to at least date his daughter


Pensgirl said...

That video is titled Mario: The Magnificent. It's life-changing.

I can't hear "Hangin' by a Moment" without thinking of Marty Straka because of that playoff commercial. A key clip in the ad was his blueline steal (from Gonchar) and Caps-series-clinching overtime goal. Hanging by a moment indeed.

Staff, don't forget that we close the season with a home-and-home against Philly. Opening against them means possibly meeting them for nine straight games.

Forget us, the universe wouldn't be able to handle that.

J.S. said...

I'm in the process of moving, and although I no longer have a VCR, I just packed up that video. I had it on my dresser along with the Against All Odds video, my signed 4x6 from Mario (where his name is actually legible, as opposed to the loopy version), and a box that I'll post a pic of once I get home.

Pensblog Staff said...

Flash is fixed

Anyone know what type of car 66 is driving?


Vinnie said...

the dude said...
vinny might be the biggest tool of them all. especially at penguin games when he is the guest dj.

3/04/2008 4:44 AM

--If you're going to slag me about something, at least do me the courtesy of spelling my name right. It's right underneath my toolish face every time I'm on the jumbo, or don't you notice? Plus, to offer a little insight into that "performance", understand that 99% of what comes out of my mouth at the games is scripted. If you've any other questions or comments, fire away: vinnie@wxdx.com.

The Seeker said...

Pensblog staff said...

"Anyone know what type of car 66 is driving?"

Ferrari Testarossa

Dr. Turkleton said...

Big Ben = The anti-Crosby

The Seeker said...

Followed the link to the Jeff Jimmerson - Airborne site and saw he plays "Feel Like a Woman" in their setlist!?


daismog said...


It's not quite a home-and-home against the Flyers to end the season. I was looking into that possibility a few weeks ago, and found that while we play our last two against them, they actually have another game between them to end their season. (NJ @ PHI, 4/4)

sonofatruckload said...

lol you know the pensblog has made it when local radio personalities are defending themselves in cblog

Pensblog Staff said...

the dude = owned

Colin said...

Crosby is back...


meecrofilm said...

Sid's back. hell yes.

And there's no way in shit I am mentally prepared for a pens v philly playoff series.

daismog said...


Sinops said...

I think it is cool that you read this, but sorry but Val is much easier on the eyes. You are way better than those dicks from kiss fm.

Dr. Turkleton said...

You are way better than those dicks from kiss fm.

That's not saying much....


Brigid said...


Fire the guy that writes your scripts.

The Seeker said...

Crosby quote from the article on the Pens website:

"I never picture myself playing with anyone."

That's always good to know in case you're thinking about having Sid babysit your children!

BlacknGold66 said...

Maybe I'm missing something...

But who is Sidney Crosby and why should I be excited that he's coming back tonight?


Let's Go Pens!!!

Nick Saia (usa) said...

he's back... and against the team he was injured....
this season is better than a movie.

Dr. Turkleton said...


The Seeker said...

HUGE night tonight in the Eastern Conference.

The Pens better be sure to win this one!

- Boston plays Florida

- Rangers play the Islanders

- Philly plays Buffalo

- Devils play the Leafs

New Jersey ought to beat Toronto which would give them 82 pts so we need to beat Tampa Bay to stay one pt up on them

GwinTheEskimo said...

the virgil pic is important

Pensgirl said...

Daismog, I didn't say the two teams had a home-and-home, I said we have one with them. I know it's not normally presented as such, but it is a mutually exclusive thing. We could face them nine straight times even if they saw everybody in the league in between.

Little Siddo, so superstitious, chooses to finish his absence against the same team we faced when it started....

That said, I now have the ADD symptoms of a kid on Christmas Eve (or a Pens fan on the day of our first playoff game last year). Is it 7:38 yet?

jason said...

hey, here is the site i was talking about where i made the extra cash, I was making about $900 extra a month...
check it out ..

Vinnie said...

Sinops said...
I think it is cool that you read this, but sorry but Val is much easier on the eyes. You are way better than those dicks from kiss fm.

sonofatruckload said...
lol you know the pensblog has made it when local radio personalities are defending themselves in cblog

Not tryin' to endorsementblog, but The Pens Blog is one of the most interesting sources of hockey-related news on the Internet. Plus, the postings, photoshops, and comments parallel my sense of humor.
I could care less what's said about me, just spell my name right, damnit. I've taken up enough of this valuable space with this....


stokes said...

Its funny that Benz should come up in the post before i left for work this morning. i was listening on the way to work and he went nuts on the air today. i've finally quit listening to his show. its really just terrible and that was the final straw. he's not funny, he's not original and he just sucks.

Not trying to kiss any ass here, but i really like Vinnie. he's kinda weird on the air, but that's his style. its better than Grimm's. Plus i've had *limited* run-ins with vinnie and he seems ok.

MM really struck gold with his incredible insight about putting Talbot on the first line. i listen to madden, i enjoy his show, but seriously, how many Cbloggers thought the same thing over the past few weeks?

i was dumbfounded when i was texted that Sid would play tonight. "no shit!' and "Fuck me" were the only intelligent things i had to say, except they weren't intelligent.

Holy balls. GO PENS.

Steve Haber said...

Yo Staff,

Thanks for spreadin the word about the theme.

~Steve H.

Lets Go Pens!!!

Fuckin sidney baby!!!

josh15nb said...

I broke it down.. Ben makes $58,752 a day, even when he is off the feild, for the next 8 years. Also, he gets paid $3.42 for every breath he takes over the next 8 year. (That is on the average 17,280 breaths a person takes a day.)

Elly said...

Ahhh, can never get enough of Mario. Thank you for that.

A Pens/Flyers match up would be epic. Just epic.

It feels weird to not bitch about Hossa. Really weird.

Go Pens.


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